


Rosenrot

by Rammnova



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Age Play, Alternate Universe, Daddy Kink, Light BDSM, M/M, Other, Transgender, ddlb, gender fluid, trans little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-03-04 21:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 118,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13373622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rammnova/pseuds/Rammnova
Summary: Richard is a twenty year old art student and Chris is a thirty three year old CEO. And nothing is better than a ddlb relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***READ***  
> So as you can see in the tags, this story happens in an alternate universe where Richard is a twenty yo art student, and Chris is a thirty three yo CEO at his own company. I usually don't like fics that are happening in AUs, but this one seemed to fit, cuz well... You'll see why. This fic comes from my obsession with transgender's rights. It also contains some heavy controversies such as age play, and some stuff that haven't been written in a rammfic before, like ever. So I just wanted to warn you guys, if you find this type of content to be disturbing, please don't read it. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna continue writing it, even though I have a tiny little plot playing in my head.

“Excuse me. I have to take this.” Chris said to the people in the conference room when he saw that Richard was calling. He walked out of the room as he answered his phone. “Richard, baby?”

“Daddy, please come home.” Richard sobbed from the other side of the line.

“What's happened, baby? Are you ok?” Chris asked, startled.

“You have to come home, now. Please. Please, daddy. I need you now.” He was crying and it made Chris's heart miss several beats.

“I'm on my way, baby.” He said and hung up and ran to his office to get his keys.

“Francis, tell the guys at the meeting that there's been an emergency. I have to go.” He told his secretary as he walked passed her desk and left the building without a glance over his shoulder.

He finally arrived home through the terrible Berlin’s busy streets and opened the door to their apartment. He heard Richard from the bedroom. He was still crying. Chris ran to the bedroom and was shocked with what he saw. Richard was sitting on the floor and was wearing a suit with the tie half done, because he didn't know how to tie a tie. He had a pair of scissors in his hands and all around him were the remains of almost all his panties and little dresses. Chris went to him and crouched down next to him, and without a word hugged him. His baby began sobbing in his chest for a long time until he was drained. Chris gently kissed his temple and pulled away to look at him.

“Do you want to tell me what happened, baby boy?” He asked gently as he pushed the long stray hair off his little’s beautiful face. He was still holding the scissors.

“I… I destroyed all my girly clothes, daddy.” He said quietly while sniffling and curling his bottom lip down.

“Why, sweetheart?”

“Because the new guys at the venue told me I was not a real boy.” He said as more tears fell from between his long lashes.

“What?” Chris shouted angrily and instantly regretted it. It scared Richard.

“I'm sorry, baby. Tell me what happened.” He was unable to get a hold of his anger now, but asked as softly as he could.

“They… they called me a… a pussy boy, daddy. They said I'm a half and half freak.” He said between sobs and Chris felt anger flooding inside himself. He took his little boy into his arms and squeezed him protectively.

“You're a very real very sweet boy. You're my little boy. You shouldn't care what some ignorant bastards say about you. I'm here for you, baby. I'm always here for my little boy.” He soothingly whispered and held Richard tighter when he crawled into his lap. Then something awful came to his mind. “Baby, did they touch you? Did anyone lay a finger on my boy?” He suddenly said and was very startled.

Richard shook his head. “No, daddy. I don't even know how they knew about me. They just…” He trailed off and clutched harder to Chris.

“They know nothing, baby. You're not what they said. You're my little prince.” He said and kissed Richard's neck.

“But… what about the times I'm your princess, daddy?” He curled his bottom lip.

“You're my little boy, except when you're my little girl. Is that better now?” Chris smiled at him. Richard nodded against his neck. “Thank you for loving me, daddy.” He said with a small voice.

“You're so sweet and pretty, you didn't give me any other chance but to fall for you, baby.” Chris said and remembered the first time they met. He was supposed to give the commencement speech at Richard's University because he was one of the investors, when it was Richard's orientation day at art school. He saw the excruciatingly beautiful eighteen year old boy sitting in the front row staring at him while he gave the speech. They met that day, and for a while Chris was struggling with the fact that Richard was thirteen years younger than himself. But then, after a series of unfortunate and some very fortunate events, he fell in love with his little artist boy that nothing could make him want to leave, especially when he found out Richard was a little, and very much into age play. After a couple days of knowing him, Richard had finally told him his secret. He was a gender fluid transgender man. It was nearly two years since they were together, and none of them was ever happier. But back to the situation at hand…

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” He asked.

“Cuddly, daddy.” He mumbled.

“What do you say we get you out of this suit, and I take you to bed and cuddle you under your favorite blanket and you take a nappie with daddy?”

“Can Mr. Bear come with me, daddy?” He looked up with his big round eyes.

“Of course he can, baby boy.” He Eskimo-kissed his baby and began gently undressing him. Then, noticed the big bulge in Richard's pants. “Baby boy, what is that?” He asked as he opened Richard's pants.

“My socks, daddy. I wanted to look like a boy.” He blushed and looked down. Chris pulled the pair of socks out of Richard's underwear and helped him stand up and did so himself. “You do look like a boy, baby. Because you are one. And when you feel like being a girl, that's alright, too. Everything about you is beautiful. I need you to understand that, my little one.”

Richard stared up at him for a long moment, searching for the honesty in those words, and when he found it, his beautiful lips curled up into a bashful smile and he turned his head to look around him. “I wish I hadn't ruined all my panties, daddy.” He pouted.

Chris smiled and held his innocent baby in his arms and kissed him. “I'll take you to the mall and buy you new ones. Would my little doll like that?”   
Richard smiled again and nodded happily, then pulled away from him and went to get his bear stuffie which was resting against his dollhouse. Then went and lay down in bed. “Cuddles.” He mused adorably with his most bratty tone. Chris, who was completely disarmed now, chuckled and got undressed and joined his baby after pulling the blanket over them. He spooned Richard who was spooning Mr Bear.

“Daddy, do you have to go back to work today?” He asked in a small voice.

“No, baby. I'm all yours for the rest of the day. And you don't need to go back to the university today, do you?”

“No, daddy. I had only work at the venue today. I'm all yours, too.” He giggled and pushed himself back onto Chris's body.

“Of course you are, baby boy.”

They slept until afternoon, and after waking up, Richard was practically hanging off Chris's neck and not leaving his side for even one second when they got out of bed. Chris was sitting on the couch in the living room catching up with his emails and work, and Richard was sitting on the floor at his feet and making a mess while playing with his Legos and his dollhouse. He was still upset, Chris could tell judging from how clingy and deep in little space he was being. He was so distracted by playing that he didn't notice Chris getting up and going to the kitchen. He came back and crouched down next to Richard holding a pill on his palm and a glass of water in his other hand.

“Time for your baby-pill, little one.” He held his hand in front of Richard's face. Richard leaned his head in Chris's palm and took the pill, then some water. Those were the only type of contraception pills that worked well with Richard, without messing with his HRT. 

“Thank you, daddy.” He said and kissed Chris's cheek.

“You're welcome, baby boy. What's going on in there today?” He asked with a smile and gestured to the dollhouse.

“Oh, daddy. It's a mess. I'm trying to stop Mrs. Bernstein from going upstairs and… “ He lowered his voice. “And do baby-making things with Mr. Leo.”

Chris laughed, but shut up when he saw the disappointed look on his baby's face. “I'm sorry, baby, but didn't you tell me that Mrs. Bernstein was a widow?”

“I most certainly did, daddy.”

“Then why are you trying to stop her from going to Mr Leo’s apartment on a date?” Chris asked. He always liked Richard's little scenarios.

“Daddy! She lost her husband in our bathtub during a very traumatizing water war with my rubber duckies last night. I don't think it's nice to do baby-making stuff when your husband just died. Mrs. Bernstein is being a bad girl.” He pouted after scolding Chris.

“Ok, what are you going to do about it, baby?”

“You spank me when I'm being bad, daddy. Could you please spank her, too?” He said very matter of factly and politely held the barbie doll out for Chris. Chris looked at him for a moment, then at the doll and then resisted the urge to burst into laughter and hug his unbelievably cute little.

“How about we go have some dinner first, and then you talk to her again and try to change her mind before punishing her. What do you say, cutie?”

“Well I AM hungry.” He said, and finally agreed to leave the poor doll alone. Chris took him to the kitchen and sat him down at the table, and began making dinner. He tied Richard's baby-apron around his neck and fed him the lentil soup with a small spoon in his star wars bowl. After dinner, they spent some time watching TV and cuddling on the couch while Chris occasionally kissed and played with him, until Richard quietly and slowly crawled on Chris's lap.

“Daddy?” He asked with hazy eyes.

“What is it, baby?”

“I-I'm tingly and wet.” He bit his bottom lip and blushed, then hid his face in his hands.

“Oh my. What happened?” Chris raised his eyebrows and teased with amusement.

“You kept touching my little parts and kissed me, daddy. You know what happened.” He pouted but blushed deeper.

“Oh, I'm sorry about that, baby boy. What should we do now?” He teased further.

“Play with me, daddy. Pleeeeese.” He pleaded and hid his face in Chris's neck.

“Play with your legos you mean?” Chris asked and acted clueless.

“No, daddy. With me.” Richard said and ground on Chris's lap.

“Play with your doll, you mean?” Chris made a questioning face, but he was feeling himself harden against Richard grinding on him.

“No, daddy. Play with YOUR doll.” Richard protested.

“Oh, who's my doll?”

“I'm your doll, daddy.” He almost shouted in frustration. Chris couldn't resist anymore. He pulled his baby doll to a very passionate kiss and took the hem of Richard's t-shirt to take it off him. “That's right. You're my baby doll. Let's get you ready to be played with.” He whispered and held tightly onto Richard's behind and got up. Richard was wrapped around him by four limbs. He lay Richard on the bed and took his shorts off him revealing his impossibly beautiful body and smooth hairless skin. He took his own clothes off and was on top of his doll kissing him like he was the most fragile thing in the universe. He kissed his way slowly down and paid attention to every inch of skin. “You're the most beautiful doll in the world, baby.” He breathed, his hot breath ghosting over Richard's nipples as began tenderly kissing and sucking them. Chris gently kissed the scars below Richard's chest, they were the remaining scars from his top surgery. Richard moaned quietly as Chris kissed his belly and then down his wet little-parts. “You're so wet for me. I love it, baby doll.” He said between Richard's gentle noises and began licking the wet slit, sucking his tiny clit which after years of being on testosterone was slightly bigger and looked like a tiny little penis. He rubbed four fingers against the wet area and tapped his tongue gently on Richard's clit until he was a writhing mess.

“Ooooh, daddy, please, please…” He begged in a tiny voice and stiffened trying to spread his legs wider. Chris shoved his tongue inside him and rubbed his tiny penis harder between his fingers. Richard's back was arched and his legs spread wide and no noise came out of him for a moment until he gasped and quivered and Chris felt Richard's hole tightening up and knew he'd come. Richard let himself go lifeless on the bed and breathed deeply. Chris kissed his abs again, and came back up to kiss Richard's mouth. Richard reacted very passionately and thrust his hips up to rub himself against Chris's hard member.   
“Do you want daddy inside you, my little prince?” He asked lewdly kissing Richard's neck.

“Yes, yes. Daddy, please.” He begged desperately.

Chris knelt between Richard's legs and took his cock in his hand and rubbed it against Richard's tiny penis and rubbed it onto the hot wet slit. Richard pushed up and whimpered. Chris gently slid inside his tight front hole and began very gently thrusting. He lay on top of Richard who wrapped his legs and arms around him and moaned. Chris took Richard's wrists and unwrapped them from around his own neck to put them on the sides of Richard's head, and laced their fingers together.

“You're beautiful, and I love you, baby. Nothing will ever change that.” He whispered and kissed Richard's neck and ear, and made love to him for a long time until they both were satisfied and Chris had come inside him. He didn't withdraw for a while until Richard's insides had stopped throbbing around him. Then he pulled out and cuddled him under the blanket.

“I love you, daddy.” Richard whispered languidly and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so here's the second chapter. I wrote half of it about two weeks ago, and the other half, I wrote tonight, because I have exams in a month, and I have a project, and a paper to write. I'm so traumatized by this shit load of work that I can't actually do any of them. So advice on that is so totally appreciated. (I know I know. I'm desperate.)

There was a knock on Chris's office door, and at the same time, the phone on his desk rang. He pushed the button and before he could say “Come in” the door opened, and a very excited Richard walked in.

“Yes, Francis?” He said to the phone.

“Nothing, Mr. Schneider. I was gonna say Richard is here, but he just walked past me and into your office.” The secretary sighed.

Richard shut the door and stuck his tongue out at the phone. Chris chuckled. “It's ok, Francis. No need to call me when Richard is here.” Chris said and hung up. Before he could get up and greet his baby, Richard was settled in his lap and still had his backpack on, and they kissed passionately.

“To what do I owe this sweet surprise?” Chris asked. He was actually surprised. Richard hadn't been in his office in a long time.

“My literature class was canceled, daddy. Plus, I drew some amazing stuff today. I really wanted to show you.” He said happily and kissed Chris again.

“My talented little boy. I'm proud of you, baby. But let's look at them later, is that ok? I want you to tell me all about them, but right now, daddy has work to do.” Chris said, and sighed when Richard pouted.

“Plus, you didn't text me about what you had for lunch. Why is that?” Chris raised an eyebrow.

“I didn't have time for lunch, daddy. Alex got us a couple of cupcakes and we just ate those.” He replied.

“Cupcakes for lunch? I'll order you something right now.” Chris said firmly and reached for his phone.

“No, daddy. I'm not hungry. I can wait until you feed me dinner. Can I stay here?” He asked with doe eyes.

“I told you, little prince. Daddy's very busy. You'll get bored here.” Chris said kindly and fondled Richard's cheeks.

“No, daddy. I won't. Please let me stay. I've missed you. I just sit there and do my homework, and study a little. Please don't send me home, daddy. I'm just gonna be sad and missing you.” He begged with his big eyes. Chris had been working late for the past few days and he had missed Richard a lot. He wouldn't mind at least being able to watch his baby while working. “Ok, you can stay, pretty boy.” He agreed with a smile. Richard hugged him tightly and thanked him with lots of noisy kisses.

Richard got off him with one final kiss, and went to sit on Chris's couch across the room and began doing his homework and studies. Chris watched him for a few minutes. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch with the end of his pencil between his teeth and completely concentrated on what he was reading. It was in those very rare moments that it would actually hit Chris. Richard was a real grown up! It was hard to believe sometimes. He was always like a needy puppy. Cuddling with Chris, crawling on his lap, rubbing his face against Chris's different body parts. Chris smiled to himself. Suddenly, his office phone rang again. “Francis?”

“Mr. Lindemann wants to see you, sir.”

“Send him in.”

The door opened and Till, the head of the export department and Chris's best friend, walked in. He looked worried.

“We're fucked, Chris.” He announced the second he walked in. “Oh, hey, Richard.” He greeted Richard.

“Hello, Mr. T.” Richard smiled up at him politely and adorably, and grinned at Chris when Till said a bad word. Chris narrowed his eyes at his baby, and his baby, threw his head back to giggle silently with the tip of his tongue between his teeth.

“What's happening, Till?” Chris asked, and was unable to control his smile. Richard was impossibly adorable.

“The UK deal is about to go up in flames. They want to break it. They said it's not profitable for them because of Brexit.” Till said exasperatedly.

“WHAT?” Chris shot off his chair and shouted. It was the most important deal in the very short history of his company. “They can't fucking do that. There's a written contract. Fucking politics. It bites you in the ass one way or another. Listen, Till. We have to get them back. I want the legal team in the conference room right now. Get Lorenz as well. We might need him.” He ordered, and caught Richard's eyes a second. The poor boy looked scared. He'd never seen Chris so angry before.

“Already called the legal team. I'll get Lorenz up here in a minute. You comin’?”

“Yeah, give me a minute.” Chris replied and picked up his suit jacket from his chair and wore it. Till nodded and left urgently, shutting the door behind him.

“Sorry you had to see that, baby boy. I have to go. Three hours. Tops. I promise.” He said softly.

Richard got up and straightened Chris's tie. He looked sulky. “I'll be here when you get back, daddy. Go get’em.” He said and rose to his tiptoes to kiss Chris's cheek.

“Look at my big boy supporting his daddy.” Chris smiled proudly, kissed Richard's forehead and left his office.

 

***

“You're quite the manipulator, did you know that, Christoph?” Till said tiredly, but also sounded smug. After eight hours of negotiation, they had finally won the deal back.

“No, I'm not.” Chris snorted comically, and opened the door to his office. He stopped and sighed when he saw Richard sleeping on the couch. All his stuff scattered around the coffee table.

“Was he locked in or something?” Till asked, surprised.

“Of course not. I didn't know it would take so long. I figured he'd go home.” Chris said and began picking up Richard's stuff and putting them in his backpack.

“Reeshy, sweetheart?” Chris knelt by the couch, kissed Richard's face and cooed him. “Wake up, baby. Let's go home.”

“See you tomorrow at eight, Chris. Night.” Till waved and left the room.

“Hmmm” Richard barely opened his eyes, and looked up at him. Sad eyes locked on him.

“Baby boy, I thought you'd go home. Daddy's so sorry. Let's pick up some dinner and take you home.” Chris whispered and helped him get off the couch.  
The walk to Chris's car was quiet, and in the car, Richard twisted himself in his seat belt to lay his head in Chris's lap. Chris got some food from their favorite Chinese place, and drove home. Richard was still quiet but also very clingy. Chris suggested they have dinner in the kitchen, but Richard was having none of it. He curled in Chris's lap to be fed. Chris complied happily, but he was so beat he couldn't wait to get in bed, besides he had to wake up really early tomorrow morning. They were finally in bed. Chris in his boxers, and Richard naked as usual. He always slept naked. 

Richard had Mr bear already in his arms when Chris joined him. “Baby boy, I'm so sorry about tonight. I had no idea it would take so long, or that you'd stay.” Chris cuddled Richard and kissed his temple.

“I told you I'd be there when you get back, daddy.” Richard whispered, still very sulky. “You work too hard, daddy. I'm worried about you.” Richard added with sad eyes and put a hand on Chris's face. Chris smiled tiredly, and kissed Richard's palm. “I'm fine, baby. Let's get some sleep. Daddy's got an early meeting tomorrow.”

“You barely have time for me anymore, daddy. It's all my own fault, if I had a job and could pay for myself, you wouldn't have had to work so hard.” Richard said, and didn't look up at him. Chris sighed. Not this discussion again. Richard had tried to work before, and Chris convinced him not to, because of the jobs he chose. He was a bartender/dancer at a gay club for couple weeks before they met and for a short time after that. Chris would usually go to see him, and it bothered him so much to see his baby flirting with other men for money, and getting touched and groped by them and coming back home at three in the morning. So, he asked Richard to quit and gladly started paying for Richard's education. 

“Richard, sweetheart, listen to me. It's not your fault. I would've had to work just as hard if I wasn't paying for your tuition. Baby, having your own company is not a joke. It requires even more hard work.” Chris told him softly, about to fall asleep.

“Go to sleep, daddy. You seem very tired. I love you so much.” Richard said in a sad tone and kissed Chris's chin.

“I love you more. You're daddy's sweet little candy. Goodnight, baby.” He held Richard to himself and they fell asleep.

 

***

Chris woke up at 6 am with his alarm going off. He quickly dismissed it and gently shushed a humming Richard back to sleep. He reluctantly pulled his body away from the pleasant warmth of his baby and went into the shower. After dressing and getting ready, he stood above the bed and looked at Richard. He would have kissed Richard goodbye but didn't want to wake him up. He just bent over him and left a small peck on Richard's forehead. “Hmmm… dada.” Richard hummed, his eyes closed. Chris put a hand on his face. “Shhh… baby, daddy's going to work. I'll see you tonight. I love you.” He murmured and Richard kissed his palm and grabbed his hand when he wanted to move it away. “What is it, baby boy?” Chris whispered.

Richard just lifted his head a bit with his eyes still closed. “Kisses, dada.” He whined in his sweetest most bratty tone. Chris smiled and kissed his mouth thoroughly and when he wanted to pull away, Richard moaned and clung to him. Chris pushed him back into the mattress and sucked his bottom lip to the point of biting him. “I'll play with you tonight until you forget your name, baby. I promise. Daddy's gotta run now, sweetheart.”

“M’kay, dada. I wuv’o” He mumbled in his little language and rolled over to go back to sleep.

“I love you, too, little Reeshy.” Chris smiled and left.

 

***

 

Chris was back home that evening completely tired and worn out. The only thing giving him energy, was the fact that he had had time for Richard that night and could finally make up to him the entire week that they hadn't gotten to be together. He checked his phone in the elevator and saw Richard's text only to be disappointed.

Baby Reesh: Daddy, I got stuck at the university. The professor wants to distribute and talk about our projects. I'll be home at 8. I promise. Reeshy sowy. Reeshy wuvs daddy. <3

To which Chris had texted back: It's alright, little prince. I'll wait for you. Daddy loves his Reeshy, too.

Chris picked up the mails from the mailbox before entering his apartment. He looked through them, and saw one for Richard from the University of New York!

“Weird.” Chris whispered to himself. He threw his jacket on the couch before sitting down. He ripped the packet and scanned quickly through the letter. It was an acceptance letter from NYU’s art department, congratulating Richard on getting a place in their undergraduate four-year art program and being awarded a full scholarship and giving him the details about enrollment and accommodations in New York City. Chris felt his breath getting stuck in his lungs, he felt a stream of pain shot through his heart and went straight down into his stomach making him feel unsettled and panicky. He just sat there and fumed and thought about it. Was Richard not going to tell him about it? Was he going to just leave Chris?! He decided not to confront Richard for now and see if he'd tell him. But what if one of these days he wakes up and Richard is just gone?

Chris had lost track of time, until he heard the door to the apartment being opened. He quickly hid the letter. “Daddyyyy” Richard shouted with his childlike happiness and ran to him and was all over him. He was his usual self, nothing different or cold about his demeanor, except that he was literally cold. His clothes, his cheeks. “It's so cold out, daddy. Hold me.” He whined and clung harder to Chris. Chris kissed him and held him until he stopped shivering.

“Let's get you out of these clothes, baby. We can sit by the fireplace.” Chris said, and took him to the bedroom and undressed him. Then, put his spiderman shorts and tank top on him. Richard's mood was different by the time Chris had taken him to wash his face. He seemed introvert and absent-minded.

“Are you ok, little spider?” Chris asked. He wasn't really used to seeing Richard so quiet. He was always over the top.

“Can we talk?” He said in his adult tone. Chris hadn't heard him in his adult tone for a long while.

“Of course, sweetheart. Is there something wrong?” He replied and braced himself for a break-up. Chris knew he would go insane without Richard, but it was Richard's future.

“Can I be a big boy for this, daddy?” He asked.

“Yes, baby. You can.” Chris said as they sat by the fire.

“I've made a decision about my life.” He said. Chris just looked at him. Waiting. He knew he wasn't going to survive this break-up.

“I decided to drop out of college and get a job and have my own income.” He finally said.

Chris blinked up at him. Not really understanding what he just heard. “What?” He asked, puzzled.

“I can't let you pay for my education and all my other expenses anymore. I'm practically freeloading in your fancy apartment. You're crazy rich. You're my dominant, my… my daddy. But I don't want you to be my sugar daddy. It makes me feel terrible about myself. We see each other only in bed now and you only cuddle me and we go to sleep. You're working so hard, you work practically for two people. I know you said having your own company requires more work, but I can't live like this anymore. I love you and I want you to have time for me. I also want to carry my own weight, so that's why I made this decision.” He finished his words and looked intently at Chris. Chris was now just confused.

“Have you already done it? Dropped out?” Chris whispered.

“Of course not. I wanted to tell you first. I owe it to you.”

“And what kind of job can a twenty-year-old with a half ass education get to be able to pay for his own life in Berlin?” He asked. He knew he was being brutal, and judging by the look of hurt on Richard's face, he did too.

“I play three musical instruments professionally, I can write music, I can draw and paint. I have enough artworks to put in a gallery. I can dance and-”

“Yes, I've seen you dance.” Chris said and remembered Richard pole dancing in that God forsaken club while a bunch of geriatric viagroids groped him and put money in the waistband of his underwear.

“Not that kind of dance. I can do ballet, and contemporary dance. Why are you being so mean to me?” He asked. The hurt had reached his pretty round eyes.

“Those disgusting geriatrics who molested you… they wanted to be your sugar daddies. They would flash their dirty cash in your pretty face just to get you to sleep with them, cuz there was no way for them to get you to WANT to be with them. Is that what I've been doing? Have I been helping you with your finances just to get to fuck you? Have I EVER made you feel like you owe anything to me? Have I ever been anything but loving and attentive towards you? And to call me a sugar daddy…” Chris raised his voice and got to his feet and began pacing around the living room.

“I didn't mean that. I swear I didn't mean it like that.” Richard stood up and desperately explained. “You're nothing like them. I want to be with you. I would live on a blanket under a bridge with you. You have to know that. You haven't made me feel like I owe you. Not for one second. But the truth is that I do, there's no reason for you to support me to this level. I just-”

“No reason? What about the unimportant little reason that is me being madly in love with you and wanting what's best for you? You want to be independent and carry your own weight? Wait four more years. You'll get there. Why do you think I've been paying your tuition? Because you're extremely talented, because you deserve it.”

“Um… I get my bachelor degree in two years. What's four years?” Richard asked quietly.

“I told you I want what's best for you, even if it…” Chris trailed off and walked to the couch and got the mail. He handed the paper to Richard who read it with a frown. He was immobile for a minute.

“Where did you get it?” He asked. He looked numb.

“It was in the mails. I was going to wait and see if you'd tell me, but the letter says you have only three more weeks to enroll.” Chris did his best to keep the terrible feel of dejection out of his voice.

“You want me to go?” Richard asked. He looked dangerously pale now.

“It's NYU. It's the best art school in the world. You got a full scholarship. I couldn't be more proud of you.” Chris replied honestly. He really was proud.  
“That's not the answer to my question, Chris. Do you want me to go?” Richard's voice was trembling now. He hadn't called him Chris in… Chris couldn't even remember the last time Richard called him anything but daddy when they were alone. 

“This is your biggest dream. That's why you applied without telling me. I want to see all your dreams come true.” Chris said.

“You think this is my biggest dream? I applied without telling you because I didn't care if I got in. Professor Karl told me it was a great opportunity and I should apply, he said he's gonna send them my portfolio himself because he believed in me blah blah. They emailed me the same thing last week. I told them no. I told them I couldn't leave Berlin. I don't know why they sent the official letter. It was probably already on the way.” Richard shrugged.

“So you got into NYU and you're not going? This is absurd, Richard.” Now Chris was getting angry again.

“Is it?” Richard raised his voice. “I just said that I want to drop out of college to get a job so you can have more time for me. You think I'm gonna leave you for some other stupid college?” He shouted in Chris's face.

“Stupid college? You realize this is all every art student had ever dreamt of?” Chris shouted back.

“Do you want to get rid of me? Is that it? Are you trying to make me leave?” Tears welled in Richard's big blue eyes and his cheeks were wet instantly.

“I would quit my job and make you drop out, and lock both of us in this apartment just to be with you every second of every minute of every damn day, but screw what I want. For once, Richard, try and think like an adult for God's sake. This is your fuckin future.” Chris roared.

“YOU ARE MY FUCKIN FUTURE.” Richard screamed angrily at the top of his lungs and launched himself toward Chris pushing him on the couch and straddling him. Before Chris knew it, he was ravaging Richard's soft and clingy mouth. Richard whined into the kiss and tried to unbutton Chris's shirt and open his belt. Chris clutched to Richard's hips and pushed him down on his lap to get him to grind on him. They undressed each other quickly and efficiently, and before either one of them could take a breath, Richard had impaled his front hole on Chris's hard cock. Chris sucked in the air when he felt how extremely wet Richard was for him. Richard began bouncing madly on Chris while moaning and clawing Chris's shoulders because he was biting Richard's neck so hard. He was angry and wild, unlike anytime they had sex since two years ago. Richard was always passive and submissive, but right now, he seemed like he was trying to prove a point. He was proving his words. Chris squeezed Richard's ass is his hands and smacked him hard, then held him tight in place and began moving his own hips and fucking into Richard who now had his head in Chris's neck and was whimpering loudly. Chris felt Richard's wet hole tightening up around him and Richard's body went rigid as he came and was reduced to a quivering mess. Chris didn't stop, and fucked harder into him, and turned his head to get to Richard's lips and bite them hard. He was very close so he slammed into the smooth and tight little hole even harder and made it come again, and let himself go. Richard's hole was still throbbing around him, and they both were panting. Richard went limp in Chris's lap in the position of a dead frog and his head was tucked under Chris's chin. Chris held him tight and kissed the top of his head and his blonde hair.

“Please don't make me leave, daddy Chris. Please.” Richard begged in a hoarse voice and kissed Chris's chest. He was crying again. All signs of anger were gone. He was all need and submission again.

“Shhhh… don't cry, baby boy.” Chris soothed him and kissed his hair again. Richard lifted his head and looked up at him. Watery eyes red, rosy lips swollen and curled down, cheeks flushed, his blonde hair messed up in his face. “Baby girl, daddy.” He corrected Chris in a melancholic small voice. “There are no dreams without daddy. You're Reeshy’s only dream. Please, don't kick me out of your life, daddy. I'll be a better Reeshy. I promise, daddy.” He begged, and was back in his little space again. Chris looked down at him, and smiled while nuzzling his cheeks. “How can I kick you out of my life when you are my life? My baby girl, you're daddy's little princess. You're not going anywhere.” Chris whispered. He knew… he knew he couldn't let this happen. He knew he was unable to live without this small and perfect little human being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments on the first chapter really motivated me to keep this up, so thank you. As for let me break, I'm sure you guys know as much as I do, that that story takes a lot from me mentally, so I have to be super focused with an examless, projectless, paperless mind to be able to write it, so please be patient with me. Oh, btdubs, my professor actually kept us in class today to talk about our projects, and his first name is actually Karl. (yes, I'm that unoriginal)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the following chapters will be flashbacks.

Thursday, October 1st, 2015 - Berlin  
Richard got off the bus right in front of the university's main building where the welcoming ceremony was supposed to be held. He got lost in the public transportation and even Google map wasn't much help, Berlin’s public transportation system was just too messy for him to handle on his second day in the capital.  
He stared up at the huge architectural masterpiece. It looked like a castle from the Renaissance era, white and magnificent with built-in sculptures. The young boy sighed happily. This was going to be his bright artistic future. His biggest dream coming true. He had worked hard to get an admission into Berlin’s famous art school. He knew he had to work even harder to get where he wanted to go. He took a deep breath and stepped in.  
“Hallo, willkommen. Tell me your name and I'll give you the welcoming package.” A young girl with dark green hair and a nose piercing welcomed him.   
“Um… hello, thanks. I'm Richard zven Kruspe.” Richard replied politely.  
“K… k… k… Ohhh, found you. Here you go, and have fun.” The girl handed him a black and white backpack. It was pretty heavy. “Thanks.”  
Richard opened it, and was excited to see a bunch of stationary and some tickets, coupons, some beautiful printed artwork, a map of Berlin, a guidebook to the city's artistic sceneries, and a big bag of chocolate chip cookies. “Ooooh, cookies.” He shouted happily and squeaked before he could stop himself. He slapped his hand over his mouth and looked around, and was relieved to find no one was looking. He ripped through the package and began eating, and made his usual delighted noise he always made while eating something that had chocolate in it. Besides, he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday.  
He looked around while eating, and wondered if he would ever fit in here. All these students and their colorful hair, bold tattoos and makeups, and numerous piercings with absolute hipster looking outfits. Then there was Richard. Longish blonde hair messed up in his face and the sides of his head were partly shaved, his regular makeup (just mascara and eyeliner), black nail Polish. He was wearing a pair of white converse and ripped jeans that actually weren't supposed to be ripped. He had bought them as a regular pair of jeans two years ago. They had just been used a lot, hence, ripped. Plus a plaid red and black shirt with a white t-shirt. Richard tried not to think about it, and not ruin his good mood. He wasn't here to blend in or to make friends. He was here for the art. He told himself that, and walked to the auditorium where all the students were now being directed. Richard wanted to go and sit somewhere in the back, but the guy who was directing them to their places, just pointed at the front row, and Richard sighed. He was too shy and socially awkward to protest.  
He sat down and enjoyed speech after speech. Some of them boring, but Richard was simply too excited to get bored that day. Then the last speaker was introduced by the host. This guy named Christoph Schneider who apparently had something financial to do with the university's board. Richard ate the last cookie in the bag and his eyes turned round when Mr. Schneider walked to the stage. Richard had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life before. The guy was in a perfectly fitting black suit, white shirt, and black tie, and he seemed impossibly tall. He had short black hair, and his eyes were blue. He seemed to be in his late twenties. He looked hot and dreamy and serious. He turned and suddenly caught Richard's eyes, who was staring with a slightly opened mouth filled with cookie. The guy smirked, and Richard felt his ears burning, and knew he was as red as his favorite nail polish. He closed his mouth and quickly swallowed the chocolaty concrete while trying not to choke on it. He was so embarrassed, he wanted to curl up somewhere hugging his favorite stuffie and sob until the angel of death saves him. He didn't even hear the speech. He just kept staring at somewhere behind Mr. Schneider’s shoulder. The speech was finished after five minutes and everyone was invited to the open buffet for lunch. Richard slowly exited the auditorium along with the crowd, still flushed and embarrassed. He waited somewhere in the corner so the buffet would become less crowded, plus, he wasn't really hungry anymore. He just stood there miserably looking at his shoes for about half hour. There were a few people at the buffet when Richard decided to get some coffee. He got a cup and was pouring coffee in it when… “Want some more cookies?” A voice from behind him said, and made him jump, and spill the hot coffee on his white t-shirt near his belly button. “Ahhh…” Richard whined to the burning.  
“Oh, God. I'm sorry.” Mr. Schneider apologized. Richard left the cup on the table and quickly ran to find a bathroom. No signs! Great! Suddenly, he saw Mr. Schneider running toward him. “Come on. I know where the bathroom is.” He said and took Richard's wrist. Richard went with him. They entered the bathroom, and Mr Schneider took his jacket off and hung it. He held Richard by one arm and took him to the sink. He helped Richard take his shirt off. “I don't think you can get that stain out. Let me see if you have burns under there.” He ordered so bossy like ordering people was in his job description.  
Richard, speechless and eyes still round in shock, pulled his t-shirt slightly up. Mr. Schneider observed Richard's flat muscular stomach, then grabbed a lot of toilet papers wetting them with cold water, and then wringing them. “It's fine. Just hold them over your skin.” He ordered again and pressed the cold toilet papers on Richard's skin. Richard squeaked to the low temperature and finally moved one hand to take them from him.  
“And I thought you were mute.” Mr. Schneider smiled at him. “Do you have a name, squeaky?” He asked, still smiling. His smile reached his eyes and Richard was about to pass out. He saw himself in the mirror, and he was madly blushed.  
“Richard.” His voice didn't even come out.  
“Excuse me?”  
Richard cleared his throat and tried again. “Richard, sir.” WHAT THE FUCK? Where did “sir” come from? Richard scolded himself mentally.  
“That's better. I'm sorry I scared you, Richard, and I'm sorry about your t-shirt. I think you should take it off and just wear your shirt. I owe you a new t-shirt now.” He said kindly.  
“It was an old t-shirt.” Richard barely whispered.  
“Still. It would make me feel better if you let me make it up to you.”  
“Ok.” Was all Richard could respond with. “I-I should go change.”  
Mr. Schneider nodded, and Richard went into one of the stalls, took his t-shirt off and wore his plaid shirt and buttoned it and shoved the stained fabric in his bag and got out.  
“Let's go get you that coffee now.” Mr. Schneider smiled and held the door open for him. They walked back to the buffet and he poured a cup of coffee for Richard, and one for himself.  
“So, what are you going to study here, Richard?” He asked.  
“Fine arts, sir.” Richard replied quietly.  
“Interesting. I like art, but I don't think I have one artistic bone in my body.” He said.  
“Oh, you're body itself, is artistic.” Richard said, before realizing what Mr Schneider might think.  
“Is it?” He raised an eyebrow and half smiled.  
“NO. I mean, the human body is a work of art, and nature is the artist.” Nature is the artist? What in the damn hell, Richard? He scolded himself again.  
“Anyway, what do you do?” Richard tried to change the subject. He wasn't sure if he liked the smug smile on the guy's face.  
“I'm the CEO at Schneider Inc.” He said. Richard swallowed. He had read about that company only on the Internet.  
“What does Schneider Inc. Do?” He asked, and he knew he was sounding like a child. Mr. Schneider’s smile said the same thing.  
“Electronic manufacture and design.” He replied.  
“Woah, that sounds like a big deal.” Richard sipped on his coffee and tried to look casual, but he didn't know what to do with his free hand. He just kept moving it.  
“It is. But enough about that. Where are you from?”  
“Oh, I'm from Wittenberge. I moved to Berlin two days ago.” Richard said excitedly.  
“So welcome to my city. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself here. It's a paradise for artists. Where do you live?”  
“My dorm is twenty minutes from here. Number 34 Hardenberg street.”  
“That's-” Before Mr Schneider could speak, a lady approached them and cut the man's word off. “Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but just a little reminder. The meeting is in an hour.” She said.  
“Thank you, Francis. We'll leave in five minutes.” Mr. Schneider said calmly. Richard couldn't be that bossy and confident even in his wildest dreams. The lady nodded, gave a look at Richard and left them.  
“It was very nice meeting you, Richard. I'll see you around.” Mr. Schneider said, and it was to Richard's disappointment.  
“Thank you. It was nice to meet you, too.” Richard said, and gave the man a smile. They shook hands and he left.  
Richard sighed. He really enjoyed talking with Mr. Schneider. He seemed like a genuinely nice person, except for his occasional smug smiles. But at least, he hadn't treated Richard like a delicious piece of meat like most guys had. Richard sighed and looked around again. He tried to enjoy the rest of the day, and he really did. Everything felt like a dream come true. The ceremony finished at around 3 in the afternoon, and Richard went back to his dorm room.  
“Oh, hey.”  
Richard turned around to the voice. It was a short and skinny guy with a punk style blonde hair. “I'm Paul. Your new flatmate.”  
Richard lived in a two-person apartment dorm on the tenth floor of the building. From the looks of it, this guy was the one who had rented the other room.  
“Oh, hi. I'm Richard. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands.  
“You too. What do you study?” Paul asked.  
“Fine arts. You?”  
“Music. I play guitar and keyboard… and drums.” He replied.  
“Cool! Me, too.” Richard blushed and suppressed his excitement.  
“Awesome. We can play together some time.” Paul seemed just as excited and it made Richard feel better.  
Suddenly, there was a female voice coming out of Paul's room. “Paul Landers, I'm here to help you unpack, not do it for you. Get back in here.”  
“I'm saying hi to my roommate. Jeez.” Paul rolled his eyes, and the door to his room opened and a brunette girl walked out. She seemed to be their age.  
“Oh, hi.” She said to Richard.  
“Richard, this is Nikki. My girlfriend. Just ignore her. She's a drama student.” Paul said and made a theatrical gesture with his arms. Richard grinned and smiled at Nikki, who smiled back.  
“Richard studies fine arts.” Paul told her.  
“Nice to meet you, Richard. Just a heads up though. Paul doesn't put down the toilet seat, and he always leaves the milk bottle uncapped. My boyfriend has a problem with boundaries, I guess.” She said and made a fake thinking gesture. Richard burst out laughing. He liked this couple.  
“Shut up!” Paul nudged her.  
“It's nice to meet you, too, Nikki. It's ok, I lived with worse. I can handle toilet seats, and milk bottles.” Richard said, and the couple laughed.  
“Hey, we're going to a club tonight with a bunch of other friends. You know? Dance and drinks. Wanna join?” Paul asked Richard.  
“Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks for asking. But I have to go to work at midnight.” Richard replied. He found this job about four hours after arriving in Berlin, which wasn't much of a miracle. He was young, and pretty, and was good at mixing drinks and dancing and occasional flirting, unless the object of flirting would be a madly handsome man who worked in the electronics sector. In that case, Richard would go mute and… well, squeaky.  
“What kinda job is it that starts at midnight?” Nikki asked confused.  
“I'm a bartender at a club.” Richard said, and left out the /dancer part. He wasn't sure why, but he was still unfamiliar with these people, and he did have trust issues.  
“Shit, that's fucking cool. Maybe we should go to your club and make it our new headquarter.” Nikki said happily.  
“Oh, Umm… it's um… it's a gay club, Nikki.” Richard said. He guessed it was inevitable. They'd find out eventually that Richard was gay.  
“Cool. Ok, we won't go to your club then. But come hang out with us. You can leave whenever you like.” Nikki said, and Paul nodded in agreement.  
“Sure I will. Thanks.” Richard smiled.  
After arranging the leaving time, Richard went to his room to get some rest and think about the bossy handsome CEO he met today.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice weekend. ;) Let me know what you think, by the way.

About two weeks later, Richard was happier than ever. He had already met with all his professors, and attended all lectures and classes. His favorites by now, were drawing, sculpture, photography and acting. Of course, the most boring one was history of art. But even that, Richard liked. Everything was new and exciting, it was like starring in his own movie. He would walk down the streets of Berlin, with his headphones on as his movie's soundtrack, his heart three times big for his chest. Sometimes, he would just squeak happily for no good reason other than being there. He even enjoyed his job most of the time. He loved dancing, of course. What he didn't like, was people at the club basically molesting him sometimes. He had to remind them in a flirtatious way that touching was not allowed, and then they would buy a dance. The thing about private dances was that, it was great money. Just two nights ago, Richard had made two hundred euros off private dances, and around fifty from the tips he got while mixing drinks. The downside, of course, was strange men touching him with those creepy grins and leering at his body like he was a soulless object. The only thing that kept him happy, was the fact that not only he could put himself through college with this money, he could buy all the art equipment he needed. That night, when he came back to his dorm room at around 3am, he went straight to the new polychrome color pencils he had bought for himself with the money he was earning. He touched each pencil and sighed happily. “Worth it.” He smiled to himself and wore his tweety bird pajamas, and practically went unconscious in his bed while snuggling to his bear stuffie.

***  
“Richard? Wake up. Package for you.”  
Richard groaned when he heard Paul thumping on his door. He knocked again.  
“Whaaa..?” He mumbled and rolled over.  
“Richard, the kind mailman is waiting for you. Wake the fuck up.” Paul thumped again. Richard, annoyed, got up, still holding his stuffie, stumbled toward the door and opened it. He still couldn't see anything and his eyes felt like two painful slits.  
“WHAT?” He growled.  
“Wow, you reek, tweety.” Paul smirked and motioned to Richard's pajamas.  
Richard rolled his eyes, but figured Paul couldn't see it, cuz they weren't eyes, they were slits!  
“Are you Richard Kruspe?” Richard just noticed the stranger by the apartment's door. He nodded.   
“Package for you. Sign here and I'll be on my way.” The mailman said.  
“What package?” Richard asked while taking the pen from the man. He wished he hadn't spoken. His voice sounded like a wood chipper.  
“Don't know.” The man handed Richard a brown package and left. Richard turned it over to see the sender's name.  
“Who's it from?” Paul asked him.  
“Christoph Schneider.” Richard replied hesitantly, and opened it. It was a new white t-shirt from urban outfitters. “Oh my God.” Richard gasped.  
“Why does that name sound familiar?” Paul asked.  
“He was the guy who spoke last at the orientation day.” Richard replied absentmindedly. His eyes turned to circles when he saw a note. A very macho and inclined handwriting in black ink.

Dear Richard,   
I hope you have enjoyed your first two weeks of studies. This is the t-shirt I owed you. I still feel terrible about scaring you on your orientation day. I'd be honored if you let me take you out to dinner tonight and make it up to you. If you have other plans for tonight, let me know. If not, I will pick you up at 8 o'clock.  
Christoph

Richard turned the note over, and saw that it was the guy's visit card with his phone number, email and work address.  
“He's asking you out.” Paul said with disbelief from next to Richard.  
Richard's mouth was hanging open. He stared at the note, and back at Paul. “No, he's not.” He retorted.  
“Isn't he, like, super old?” Paul asked. Ignoring Richard's answer.  
“He's not SUPER old. Like thirty or something. Plus, it's all the more reason that he's not asking me out.” Richard said, and tried to sound convincing. “Plus, he didn't look gay.”  
“That's homophobic, Richard.” Paul looked at him with mock disappointment.  
“You know what I mean.” Richard rolled his eyes. “And it's not like I have a chance with HIM.”  
“That's bullshit. You're super pretty. You know what Ollie's girlfriend said about you? She said that you were the most beautiful person she's ever seen up close. And Nikki confirmed.” Paul didn't sound particularly happy when he said his last sentence. Richard grinned at him. He liked Paul and Nikki, also their two other friends, Ollie and Emma. He had told them that he was also a dancer at that club. They all thought that was pretty cool. Now the five of them, would hang out almost every night. Richard still hadn't told them about his other situation, because it seemed to be irrelevant. There was no topic of conversation in which Richard could just come out and say “oh by the way guys, I was assigned female at birth”  
“Thanks, but I still don't think it's a date.” Richard said.  
“That's because you're stupid, my dear weird stuffed-animal-owner friend.” Paul told him and went to the kitchen ,hopefully, to get some coffee. “Are you going?” Paul asked him from the kitchen.  
“Just to prove to you that it's not a date, yes, I'm going.” Richard said.  
“If it were six months ago, this guy was committing a felony asking out an underage kid.” Paul said and seemed delighted with his own joke.  
Richard shoved his face into his stuffie, and then looked back at Paul. “Mr. Bear asked me to ask you to shut up.” Richard made a face and said with his childish tone. Paul shook his head and handed him a mug of coffee. “Yeah, that dude is totally committing a felony.” Paul concluded.  
“Whatever.”  
That day, after coming back from the university, Richard who was starting to feel dangerously sleep deprived, went to take a shower and then a nap. But he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about tonight. Was it actually a date? Why would someone like Mr Schneider ask him out? Probably because he didn't know anything about Richard. Richard thought to himself and sighed. Even if this guy was gay, he would run for the hills if he knew about Richard. Richard had had sex in his life probably like three or four times. He didn't particularly enjoy having sex with a girl. He dated a lesbian in high school but only for about a month until he realized he really didn't like it. He once hooked up with a trans woman and that was pretty good, but it was during the holidays and the girl was just there to visit her family. He was always attracted to men. That much was clear to him even though he really had never been with a man. In the small city he was living in, the LGBTQ+ community wasn't that big. Almost non-existence as far as Richard knew. Now he was in Berlin for two weeks, and many men have been drooling over him, but Richard liked to think he had standards. The first one was not to sleep with anyone who groped him at the club and paid him for it. He liked to think he was a classy boy who wouldn't bend over for any guy who flashed his cash at him. Also, he needed someone who could understand him, and know him and his special needs. He sighed. Those were some damn high standards.  
“You're gonna die alone, Reesh.” He told his reflection in the mirror. He began going through the very limited items of clothing in his closet to find something to wear for tonight. After trying everything, he finally decided to wear a pair of black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt and his new black leather jacket. He put on his chest binder with difficulty, his tits were never that big but they still caused Richard great dysphoria. He had worked out madly to get them as muscular as possible and hoped that taking testosterone would help more until he could get a top surgery and be happy forever. He put some makeup on, and wore his favorite choker. It was a simple band with a metal O ring in the middle. He let his hair go wild across his face, cuz he liked it like that, then wore his converse and he was done. Not bad! He thought. He went out of his room and saw Paul in the kitchen getting some beer from the fridge. Paul wolf whistled. “Looking good for your not-date”  
Richard settled for rolling his eyes. Paul opened his mouth to talk again, when someone knocked on the door. “Fuck, he's here. Quick. Go to your room, Paul.” Richard whispered, panicked.  
“No fucking way. I wanna see him.” Paul grinned.  
“Fine. Just… don't embarrass me.” Richard said angrily, and went to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it. It took him some effort to stop himself from gasping with what he saw. Mr Schneider was wearing a dark grey suit and a white shirt. His short hair perfectly styled, and his blue eyes were as bright and clear as the fuckin ocean. He was smiling again. That irresistible half smile. Richard quickly got over himself and tried to greet him.  
“Mr Schneider, hi.”  
“Hello, Richard. How are you?” He asked politely.  
“Thanks, I'm good.” Richard said, and forgot what he should say next. Then he remembered. “Oh… how are you?”  
Mr Schneider chuckled. “I'm good, too. Thanks for asking. These are for you.” He gave Richard a small brown box with a red ribbon around it. Richard moved away from the door in a silent gesture of invitation and took the box.  
“Thank you, really. You didn't have to.” Richard smiled.  
“I wanted to.” He replied with his bossy tone.  
Richard opened the box, and blushed madly. He knew he was bright red. The box was filled with chocolate chip cookies.  
“I figured they're your favorite.” Mr Schneider said. Richard kept his head down to avoid showing his face to the guy.  
“The-they are. Thank you.” He said and before trying to come up with more stupid words, he heard Paul.  
“Hello.”  
“Oh, hello.” Mr Schneider said to Paul.  
“Um… this is Paul. My roommate.” Richard said. Paul walked forward and shook hands with the man. “Nice to meet you, sir.” Paul said with stress on the word sir. Richard could just kill him.  
“Nice to meet you, too, Paul. Are you studying fine arts, as well?”  
“Music, sir.” Paul grinned.  
“That's nice-”  
“Hello.” There was a voice from Paul's bedroom. Richard turned and saw Nikki in the door, and Ollie and Emma peeking at them with curiosity. Richard just wanted to die. Ollie and Emma just waved and stared.  
“That's my girlfriend Nikki. The tree is called Ollie, and she's his girlfriend Emma.” Paul introduced everyone.  
“Hello, guys.” Mr Schneider smiled and almost chuckled.  
“Are you ready to go, Richard?” He asked Richard.  
“Yes.” Richard said and moved quickly to avoid more embarrassment.  
“Oh, we were leaving, too.” Nikki said, and wore her jacket. Ollie and Emma walked out, as well.  
They all walked out of the apartment, and Richard experienced the most terrible elevator trip of all time. He glared at Paul who just grinned back at him.  
“My car is there.” Mr Schneider said, and motioned to the opposite direction. There was a shiny black sports Audi there.  
“Wow, she's sweet.” Ollie said.  
“Ok. Bye, guys.” Richard said and looked pleadingly at them. They finally took pity on him and said goodbye and left. Richard and Mr Schneider walked to his car in silence, and he opened the door for Richard. Richard blushed at the gesture and got in with a quiet thank you.  
“So how long have you guys been friends?” He asked Richard after starting the car.  
“Two weeks. I'm sorry about them.” Richard said apologetically.  
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He smiled sincerely, and turned the sound system on. “Do you like music, Richard?” He asked.  
“I love it.” Richard said, and smiled with a lighter heart.  
“What kind of music do you like?”  
“A little of everything, but mostly rock. I love the kiss.” Richard replied excitedly.  
Mr Schneider laughed softly and amused. “Aren't you too young for their music?”  
“Music doesn't know age.” Richard replied wisely and the man laughed again. Richard found himself loving his laughter. It was soft and throaty.  
“You have a witty reply for everything, don't you?” He asked.  
“Just speaking from the heart.”  
“That's the nature of every artist, I suppose.”  
“What about you?” Richard asked.  
“My nature, you mean?”  
Richard giggled. “No, what kind of music do you like?”  
Richard blushed at the look Mr Schneider gave him when he giggled. “I loved heavy metal when I was young. Black Sabbath, Metallica, Judas Priest. But, now I enjoy some relaxing classical music. Plus, I don't really have time for music anymore.” He said.  
“Oh, come on. You're still young.” Richard said. He was feeling a little more comfortable.  
Mr Schneider laughed again. “I'm thirty-one years old, Richard.”  
“Oh, that's-”  
“Old?” Mr Schneider completed his sentence with a smile.  
“I wasn't gonna say that.” Richard blushed again.  
“I know. I was kidding.” He said, and put on Richard's favorite song from Metallica. Nothing else matters. The rest of the drive was in silence, until he parked the car in a parking lot, and they walked a short distance to a restaurant. Richard felt so completely out of place and inappropriately dressed. It was a very fancy restaurant.  
A waiter came to them with a polite smile. “Good evening, sir. Welcome.”  
“Good evening. Schneider. Table for two.” He said efficiently and seriously without a smile. This guy wasn't messing around. The waiter guided them to their table. A small cozy table in the corner by the window to a beautiful view of a garden.  
“Here's our wine menu, sir.” He said and wanted to hand them the menus when Mr Schneider spoke.  
“No need.” Then he said the name of a drink in French that Richard couldn't even decipher the words. The waiter nodded and left. Richard couldn't stop looking around. It was the fanciest place he'd ever been in. He thought he might have a stroke. Unfortunately, he had a tiny bladder which at the moment was very nervous. Before he could come up with a sentence and go to the bathroom, he just blurted: “I need to pee.” His eyes snapped at his own stupid words. Who says that? He scolded himself. Mr Schneider was just smiling with amusement. “It's that way, I think.” He said and pointed at somewhere behind Richard. Richard got up and left the table. He could feel the guy's eyes on him. He was feeling so self-conscious he could die from it. He went to the men's room and sought shelter in one of the stalls and sat on the toilet to pee. He took his head in his hands and just cursed himself. After he washed his hand, he looked at himself in the mirror, and was still flushed. He took a couple of deep breaths and splashed some cold water on his face and left the bathroom. Mr Schneider put his iPhone away when Richard sat down. There was a bottle of wine and two glasses. Mr Schneider poured some wine into both their glasses and handed one to Richard.  
“Thank you.”  
“To your bright future.” Mr Schneider said with a smile and they clicked their glasses. Richard downed the whole glass in one go.  
“Why are you so nervous, Richard?” Mr Schneider asked, and leaned forward. Now, he looked concerned. Richard blushed again.  
“I-I've never been to a place like this before.” Richard admitted.  
“If you don't like it, we can leave. It's not a problem.” He said seriously and reassuringly.  
“No, no. It's ok. I'll be ok. May I have more wine, please?” He asked and looked into the guy's eyes directly for the first time that night. Mr Schneider gave him another look that made Richard warm all over. “Of course.” He smiled and poured more wine for Richard. Richard drank this one more slowly. It was really very delicious, he wanted to savor the taste. The waiter brought them two menus and left. Richard looked at the prices on the menu. They were crazy. The cheapest item cost more than what Richard would pay for food in a month. He looked at the salad menu, and spotted the cheapest one. The last thing he wanted was to seem like a gold digger which he was not.  
“Have you decided, Richard?” Mr Schneider asked kindly.  
“Yes, I'd like the garden salad.” He replied.  
Mr Schneider frowned. “Have you already had dinner?”  
“Um… No.”  
“Are you vegan? Because if you are, they have more interesting vegan choices.” He said.  
“No, I'm not vegan. Salad is fine. Really.” Richard said nervously.  
“Ok, if you're sure.” He said suspiciously, and Richard nodded. Mr Schneider signaled to the waiter, and ordered a lamb filet for himself and a salad for Richard.  
“So how's school?” He asked and caught Richard off guard.  
“It's great actually. I'm having so much fun.” He replied with a smile.  
“Anything special?”  
“Oh, everything is special. I'm learning so many new things. And I bought a set of 72 colored pencils for myself. I love it so much. I can't stop looking at it. It looks like the rainbow.” He blurted out happily before realizing he sounded like a child. Mr Schneider seemed very amused and interested.  
“That's great, Richard. What are your favorite subjects?” He asked.  
“Acting, drawing, photography, but I need a camera for that. I'm working hard to get one. Probably by next year.” He said with an excited grin. Their food arrived and they began eating.  
“You have a job?”  
“Um… yes. I'm a bartender.” Technically not a lie. Just half of the truth.  
“Oh, am I keeping you from your working hours?” He asked.  
“No, my shift starts at midnight.” Richard replied after swallowing the abundant amount of lettuce.  
Now Mr Schneider was frowning. “When does your shift end?”  
“Around 3.”  
“Where is this place? How do you go back home?” He seemed kind of angry now.  
“I take the bus. It's safe. Nothing really happens.” He dodged the question about the location of the club.  
“You think nothing happens at 3 in the morning in Berlin?” He asked rhetorically.  
“I can take care of myself, Mr Schneider.” That was a partial lie. Richard went to the gym regularly back at home, but he wasn't one for fighting someone off.  
“I hope so. And call me Chris.” He said. There was no sign of anger anymore. Richard stared back at him for a moment. What if it was a date?  
“What is this, Chris?” Richard suddenly asked before he could stop himself.  
“What is what, Richard?”  
“This…” He gestured to the space between them. “Paul kept telling me it was a date.” He added.  
“Would you want it to be a date?” Chris asked.  
Richard blushed. “Is it?” He whispered.  
“I was honest when I told you that I felt bad about scaring you the other day.”  
“So you take whoever you scare out to dinner?” Richard asked challengingly.  
“Well, I don't really walk around scaring people.” He replied, and Richard couldn't stop himself from giggling. Maybe it was the wine.  
“You are kind of intimidating.” Richard said. Yup, it was the wine.  
“Am I?” He asked and frowned. Richard nodded.  
“Are you afraid of me, Richard?” He asked seriously.  
“I don't know.” Richard shrugged without looking at the man. They ate in silence, and Richard was feeling terrible now. He felt like crawling in his bed and sobbing, and he didn't even know why. Mr Schneider asked for the check, and after he paid, they left the restaurant.  
“You didn't answer my question, Richard.” He suddenly said while they were walking. Richard was uncomfortable walking next to someone so much taller than himself.  
“What question?” He asked quietly.  
“Two of them, actually. But one matters right now. Did you want this to be a date?” He suddenly stopped in the middle of the parking area. Richard blushed and crossed his arms because he felt chilly. He swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to be straightforward. “I'm not your type.” He said.  
“What does that mean?” He asked like Richard just said the most stupid thing.  
Richard finally looked up at him. “I'm an art student/bartender/so many other complications you wouldn't want in your life.”  
He was surprised when Chris laughed. “Don't laugh at me.” Richard almost yelled angrily.  
Chris stopped laughing. “Keep your voice down, Richard. I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at how childish what you said sounds.” He said very seriously and intimidatingly.  
“Then there's your reason. I'm a stupid child, you shouldn't date me. Have a nice life, Mr Schneider.” Richard said with teary eyes and turned around to walk away. Chris took one of Richard's arms and very easily dragged him back.  
“If you want me to leave you alone, fine. But I'll leave you where I picked you up. Let's go.” He let go of Richard's arm when he was sure Richard wouldn't struggle or walk away. He opened the car door for Richard again. He started the car and didn't turn the music on this time.  
“I'm sorry I laughed.” Chris said.  
“I'm sorry I flipped out.” Richard whispered.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly.  
“Not really.” Richard stared out the window. Richard suddenly remembered something. “How did you find my address and my last name, by the way?”  
“I have friends on the university's board.” He replied shortly. Of course he did. He helped funding the school.  
“That's called stalking.” Richard said, annoyed, but kind of flattered.  
“Sue me.” He challenged. Richard rolled his eyes and sighed.  
They arrived at Richard's dorm and the car stopped. Chris suddenly reached and took Richard's hand in his. Richard jerked and gasped.  
“You're a mystery, little boy. If you ever decided I deserve your complications, let me know. I'm not gonna stop thinking about you.” He said softly. Richard stared at him in the dark, with his voice echoing in Richard's head. Richard dared to plant a small kiss on his cheek and whisper. “I'll let you know.”  
Chris tilted his head, and softly brushed his lips against Richard's. Richard breathed and his lips automatically opened. Chris kissed Richard's lips and gently sucked Richard's bottom lip into his mouth. Richard hummed, and to his protest, Chris suddenly pulled away. “Goodnight, little boy.” He whispered and kissed Richard's forehead. Richard swallowed his whine and tried to gather himself and not die over being called “little boy”.  
“Goodnight, Mr Schneider.” Richard breathed and left the car before he started crying. He went straight to his room and got undressed, didn't even bother with wearing pajamas. He had to go to work in a couple hours. He went to bed in his underwear and cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish the 18 yo Richard was my little brother so I could hug him all the time!  
> PS. I'd totally accept him as my little brother even now that he's 51. Age is just a number.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would it be too narcissistic if I said I love this story? :))))

Paul looked at him in disbelief and repeated what Richard had just told him. “I'm not your type? You actually said I'm not your type?”  
Richard dug the spoon into his big ice cream bowl and rolled his eyes.  
“That's the lamest excuse in the world. It sounds like those cheesy Hollywood movies. What were you thinking?”  
“That I wasn't his type.” Richard replied and took his fourth chocolate chip cookie crushing it into his ice cream. Paul stared at the bowl in disgust. “You're gonna get diabetes.” He commented.  
“Will it kill me? Cuz I'm cool with that.” Richard said quietly. It was one day after the doomed date and Richard was planning a few painless ways to end his own life.  
“What complications do you have that he might not want in his life?” Paul sighed and asked softly.  
Richard looked up at his roommate. Or his friend? Paul was being a really good friend since they met, and they were both in an age that trusting people was ridiculously easy. Richard hesitated thought. Could he trust Paul with this? He decided to give it a shot.  
“I've never been with a man.” Actually, this wasn't his problem, but he had no other ideas on how to explain the subject. Paul's eyes grew round. “But… you said-”  
“I said I was gay, because I don't have a better word for it and I don't like being with women.” He said.  
Paul blinked. “Yeah, I'm gonna need some elaboration on that.”  
“I'm transgender.” He finally said, and stared at the bottom of his ice cream bowl.  
“And?” Paul asked. Still confused, which made Richard confused.  
“Do you know what this term means?” Richard asked.  
Paul huffed and rolled his eyes. “I'm not a cave person, you know? I know what it means. I also knew that about you.”  
“What? How?” It was Richard's turn to blink in pure confusion.  
“I saw your intimate wash gel thing in the shower, and I saw tampons in your shopping bag once. So unless you have a girl imprisoned in your room, you bought them for yourself.” Paul said. Richard blushed madly and swallowed.  
“I didn't know you knew about wash gels, otherwise I wouldn't leave them in the shower.” Richard said quietly and didn't look up at him.  
“Well, I didn't, but Nikki did. She asked whose it was, and I said it was yours.” Paul replied.  
“Nikki knows, too?” Richard blushed darker.  
“What's the big deal, Richard? It's 2015. I don't think anyone cares what you have in your underwear.” Paul said as a matter of factly. “Wait… you rejected Schneider cuz you're trans?” Paul asked.  
“It would freak him out.” Richard said.  
“He's a sophisticated man. He didn't seem stupid enough to get freaked out by something like this.”  
“He's gay! Even if he wouldn't freak out, he still wouldn't want me if he finds out.”  
“I don't know what to tell you, Richard. You can't decide things for other people.”  
“You're straight. If Nikki had a penis, would you still wanna be with her?” Richard asked challengingly.  
“I fell in love with her before discovering what she had down there, you know? Not all of it is about the genitals.” Paul rolled his eyes. “Your issue is bigger than this guy, Richard. Your issue is with you, and how you still can't accept yourself. Do you consider yourself a man?” Paul asked.  
“Sometimes.” Richard replied.  
“What do you mean sometimes?” Paul asked, confused.  
“I'm gender fluid. So sometimes I feel like a girl.” Richard said.  
“You got a whole lotta rainbow in you, don't you?” Paul smiled at him. “Whatever. That guy seemed really into you. I mean the fact that he's so old, kinda creeps me out, but still.” Paul shrugged. Richard smiled pensively, but couldn't stop the good feeling of acceptance from Paul.

***

Three days later, Richard received some news that crumbled his world. The university sent him an email saying that he needed to pay the rest of his tuition before the midterm exams, otherwise according to the university's laws, he would get suspended. It meant that Richard needed to have the amount of 3 thousand euros by next month. He was freaking out. All his dreams were fading away. Even if he would double his shift at the club, he still wouldn't get this money. He left the university and wandered in the streets of Berlin, thinking and panicking and smoking. He couldn't seek refuge in his little space, because he knew he wouldn't be able to snap out of it, so he just stayed a young adult and tried the adult solution: Alcohol. He went to the club that night, already drunk. He had been struggling with his decision all day, but there seemed to be no other way around it.  
He was giving a guy a private lap dance, the usual, when he decided to put his plan in motion. He was too drunk to care where the guy was touching him. He ground on the guy with more intensity and threw his head back. He danced through the whole song, then got up. “Oops, song's over.” He shouted in his drunken haze. The guy put another fifty in the waistband of Richard's underwear and pulled him close. “Make it worth my while, twinkie.” The guy said.  
He seemed to be around fifty years old. Richard's stomach stirred threateningly, but he took a deep breath and began dancing for the guy again.  
“How do you feel about a more private session with me?” The guy said in Richard's ear while squeezing his pecs.  
“Depends.” Richard flirted.  
“On what?”  
“Can you make it worth MY while?” Richard said and could feel how hard the guy was for him.  
“Is this good enough?” He showed Richard two hundred euros and Richard gave him a smile, but then shuddered in disgust when the guy licked up his neck. Richard pushed him away and tried to keep his flirtatious smile on his face. “You'll have to wait until my shift is over.”  
“Oh, I will.” The guy said eagerly. After the song finished, Richard left him and wandered around, then the manager pointed at him, and then at the pole. Richard nodded and went to stand up on the table, and began dancing around the pole. He liked the pole. No one was allowed to touch him when he was up there and he would still get paid. He stayed up there for another thirty minutes and then got more drink, and someone offered him some weed. Richard had never done drugs before. But he figured tonight he might need to be as high as possible. He accepted the blunt and let the guy grope him in return.  
He had never felt this empty before, but deep down he knew his dreams were still there. So he had to do this if he wanted to stay in school.   
After his shift finished, he went to the employee area and got dressed. He was so high and drunk that he forgot to get his jacket. He figured the guy who he was supposed to leave with would have a car. The guy found him and wrapped one hand around Richard's hip and squeezed his ass. “You're gonna show me a good time, aren't you?” He cooed and sucked Richard's earlobe.  
Richard shuddered and didn't reply. So much for his first time with a man. So much for his standards. His heart burned and his stomach stirred again. He took a deep breath when the cold breeze of October brushed his face. Three more steps and the low temperature started to feel very uncomfortable, and made him shiver.  
Suddenly, a hand gripped his arm and dragged him back. “That's it. You're coming with me.” Richard turned around and saw Chris glaring at him! He was so shocked, his only reaction was to yank his arm out of the strong grip, but it was a useless attempt.  
“What do you think you're doing, buddy? He's mine.” The guy said, annoyed and gripped Richard's other arm.  
“Leave right now, or I'll call the cops and tell them you're seducing an underaged kid.” Chris growled.  
Richard used all the strength that the rush of adrenaline had provided him with, and yanked his arm out of Chris's grip. “I'm not underaged. You leave me alone. Let's go.” He said the last sentence to the guy and attempted to walk away. He heard a gasp from next to him and looked back. Chris had clutched the guy's shirt glaring at him threateningly. “Leave him alone, or I'll make you uglier than what you already are.”  
“Fine fine. But let me tell you something, buddy. Sluts like him… ain't worth it.” The guy said and was pushed away by Chris, turned around and left.  
Hearing that, was Richard's last straw. He felt dizzy, and tried to lean against the wall when he felt his guts flying out of his mouth. He dropped to his knees and began vomiting painfully. His stomach clenched and he heaved and heaved. Tears fell from his eyes, and the pressure was too much that his nose went runny. He felt a hand on his back, and one on his forehead. He barely opened his eyes and the sight of his own vomit, made him heave again, until he was a shaking and dizzy mess. He felt Chris's fingers running through his hair, and it felt so good he wanted to lean into him, but then remembered everything. The date, the tuition, the two hundred euros he wasn't gonna get now.  
“Leave me alone.” He said in a hoarse voice. He could smell the vomit in his mouth.  
“No. You're coming with me. Let's go.” He ordered and made Richard angrier.  
“You just cost me two hundred euros. Leave me the fuck alone.” Richard growled. He wasn't one for cursing or talking like that, but he was just losing it.  
He tried to pull away but Chris didn't let him. “Don't touch me.” He whispered, but was ignored again. “DON'T TOUCH ME.” This time he screamed and pushed Chris away. He finally let go, and Richard attempted to stand up but went dizzy again, and Chris held him before he fell to the ground face in his own vomit.  
“How am I supposed to stop you from falling if I'm not touching you?” Chris yelled angrily.  
“Nobody asked you to stop me.” Richard said stubbornly. Before he could fight any further, the fatigue and the sickness took over and he fell into Chris's arms.

Next thing he knew, was that he was being carried in Chris's arms in an elevator. The elevator stopped and Chris gently put him down. “Can you stand up? I need to open the door.” He asked softly, and Richard just groaned. He leaned against the wall and five seconds later, he was being carried again. It was a strange apartment and Richard couldn't notice the details in the condition he was in. Chris carried him into the bedroom and then a huge bathroom. He put Richard down on his feet again, and switched the water on into the giant bathtub. He began undressing Richard. “What're you doin’?” Richard asked lazily. His shirt was off him before he knew it and he wasn't wearing his binder and wanted to die with the thought of being outed to Chris like that.   
“I'm drawing you a bath. You reek of alcohol and vomit and… other men.” He whispered, and went on his knees to help take Richard's pants off. When he wanted to take Richard's underwear off, all of Richard became a hand and stopped him. “No.” His nervous voice echoed through the bathroom. He was lucky he at least had worn his packer that night, so his crotch wasn't looking flat even though his chest had already outed him.   
“I'm not gonna hurt you, Richard. I'm just gonna help you into the tub.” He said gently.  
“Leave my underwear be. Please.” Richard said nervously and clutched to his underwear.  
“Ok ok. Whatever you say. It's fine.” He replied soothingly and rose to his feet, and helped Richard into the tub. Richard wanted to stay in the hot water forever. It was so comforting and amazing. He heard movements and opened his eyes. Chris was taking his own shirt off. Richard looked up at him for a moment. Could another human being be any more attractive than this guy? Chris sat next to the tub and poured some body wash on a cloth and began gently washing Richard. Richard was so embarrassed, he just closed his eyes so he wouldn't accidentally catch the man's eyes. He was so ashamed of what happened, and with what Chris had witnessed. Before he could stop himself, he whispered. “I'm not a slut.”  
“I know you're not.” Chris whispered back.  
They both stayed quiet, and Richard kept his eyes closed and couldn't stop enjoying the sensation of being washed so tenderly. Chris also washed his hair and massaged his scalp. By the time he was done, Richard was purring like a cat.  
“Use the toilet if you need. I'll go get you some clothes and see if I have a spare toothbrush.” He said and left and shut the door behind himself. Richard was still dizzy, but he did his best to take off his dripping wet underwear and his packer, then sat on the toilet to pee. After he was done, Chris knocked and Richard quickly threw the packer out of sight and covered his crotch with the wet fabric, and slightly opened the door to take the stuff Chris wanted to hand him. A clean towel, a pair of grey sweatpants, fresh pair of boxers, and a grey t-shirt with a brand new toothbrush on top. Richard toweled himself and put the clothes on after placing his packer back. The clothes were too big for him, but also very comfy. He brushed his teeth and walked out of the bathroom on wobbly legs. Richard glanced across the bedroom. It looked… serious. Everything was silver-grey and fancy and uncomfortable in Richard's opinion. Chris was wearing only a pair of sweats. He pulled the blankets over and motioned towards the king-sized bed. “Get some sleep. I'll take the couch. We'll talk in the morning.” He ordered again and gave Richard a strange look. Richard was too worn out and tired and ashamed and shy to protest or get angry again. He just nodded and went and curled under the blanket. Chris shut off the overhead lights and left the room. Richard fell asleep before he knew it.

***

Richard opened his eyes and rolled on his back. He was in a strange room. “What the hell” He whispered to himself and looked around before noticing the pounding headache. It felt like his eyes were melting out of his ears. He remembered the events of last night. He had smoked weed and gotten drunk and went home with a stranger. He looked under the blanket, and was completely dressed with his packer in place. Then remembered again. He was in Schneider’s house. The guy had bathed him last night! “Shit.” Richard groaned.  
“Guten Morgen.” Richard jumped at the voice. He turned his head and saw the man himself with a tray in his hands. Richard just stared at him in shock.  
“What did you do to me?” Richard asked scared with an accusatory tone before he could stop himself.  
“Nothing. I gave you a bath and put you to bed. Don't you remember?” He asked and approached the bed and sat down.  
Richard did remember. He nodded and looked into the tray. Coffee, eggs and bacon, orange juice and two pills. “Here, take these, then you can eat something.” He said and held the pills out to Richard.  
“What is this?” Richard asked looking at the pills.  
“Aspirin, Richard. I have zero intentions on drugging you or hurting you.” He replied coldly and sounded hurt.  
Richard blushed and took the pills, downed them with some juice. “I know. I'm sorry.”  
“It's ok, I understand. Finish your juice. You need to hydrate.” He said, and Richard drank the whole glass of juice non-stop. He drank some coffee, and two pieces of bacon all without looking up. Chris took a napkin from the tray and wiped Richard's fingers. “Thank you.” Richard whispered.  
“How are you feeling?” He asked.  
Numb? Shy? Scared? Embarrassed? Hurt? Sad? Angry? “Terrible.” Was all Richard said.  
“Why did you want to go with that guy?” He asked quietly. Richard felt his face heat up.  
“I've never done anything like that before. I needed the money.” He replied with his head hanging low.  
“For a new camera?” He asked.  
Richard smiled bitterly. “Tuition.”  
“How much do you need?” He asked.  
Richard looked up at him. The guy sounded like he was about to write Richard a check. “I'm not telling you.” Richard said seriously.  
“You know I can find out right now with a quick call, right?” He asked rhetorically.  
“You know violation of people's privacy is a crime, right?” Richard asked in the exact same tone.  
“Why are you being so difficult?” He asked frustrated.  
“Why do you care?” Richard raised his voice and it caused his head to hurt more. He pressed his palm against his temples. “I have to go to the class.” He whispered.  
“It's Saturday.” Chris said. “And you're not going anywhere until we've settled this.”  
“Settled what?”  
“Let me help you with your tuition.” He said softly.  
“I'm not gonna be your good deed of the year, Mr Schneider. Keep your money to yourself. I can take care of myself.” Richard said stubbornly.  
“I've been watching you taking care of yourself for three nights now. How many lap dances does it take until you can afford your tuition?” He asked angrily.  
“You've been stalking me? What's your problem?” Richard shouted.  
“You are my problem. And I wasn't stalking you. I was invited there by a friend the night I took you out. I didn't even know you worked there.” He spat.  
“And why should I believe that?” It was a screaming match now.  
“Believe whatever the fuck you want, kid. I have no reason to lie to you. Unlike you, who's been-”  
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please stop yelling at me.” Richard broke down and began sobbing. He hated fights. He hated it when people would yell at him.  
The next thing he knew, was Mr Schneider holding him in his arms and letting him sob into his chest. “It's alright. No more yelling. You're safe, Richard. I promise.” He said soothingly.  
“I'm sorry I'm such a mess.” Richard whispered with a hitch in his voice, after minutes of crying.  
“Shhh… it's fine. You're alright, baby.” He whispered. Richard gasped at the pet name and clutched harder to the man's t-shirt which was wet with Richard's tears.  
“I'm trans.” Richard blurted into Chris's chest. If this perfect guy was gonna reject him, might as well be before calling him “baby” again.  
“What?” He asked, unsure of what he had heard. Richard pulled away from him, and looked up shyly. “I was assigned female at birth.” Richard took a deep breath and decided to just lay it all out. He slipped his hand into his underwear and pulled the packer out, and dropped it on the bed. “My parents named me Rose and raised me as a girl until I was thirteen.” He had never told his story to anyone before.  
He didn't have the guts to look up at Chris and see his reaction. Chris took Richard's chin between his thumb and index finger and made him look up. Chris looked into Richard's eyes, up to his hair and down to his lips, and whispered. “Rose… that sounds about right.” He smiled and tilted his head to plant a small kiss on Richard's lips. “What happened after you turned thirteen?” He asked.  
Richard couldn't believe it. He swallowed and nodded. “Most of the time, I hated being a girl. I would dress like a boy, and act like one and be all butch and stuff. Sometimes, I liked being a girl, though. I would get excited about cute dresses and angel wings for my Halloween costume. But I've always had a terrible body dysphoria. I hated being called and treated like a girl or to look like one or to sound like one, and I hated getting… getting periods every month. It was humiliating. Still is. It's like it's not supposed to happen to me. It's just not right.” Richard blushed deep at this point. “My mom took me to a therapist and after six months of therapy, they finally diagnosed me with gender dysphoria but said that I had to wait until I was eighteen and then I could start HRT, because apparently if you're underaged, you're not qualified to make such decisions. I didn't really want to go on testosterone. I liked my skin and the fact that I wasn't growing an excessive amount of facial hair, and other kinds of hair that people with testosterone grew, but I wanted to have everything else. The male voice, the male figure, Adam's apple, everything… all of it. So I decided to go on T. I spent five years in therapy. I'm gender fluid, so like, a tiny part of me sometimes feels and acts like a girl. I decided to do all the work out and different sports that I could to at least make the dysphoria go away a little bit. It was the shittiest time of my life but it was working. Finally, six months ago when I turned eighteen, I started taking T and two months ago, my therapist was convinced enough to give me the letter of recommendation so that I can change my documents.” Richard finished speaking and looked up at Chris with worry.  
“Did your family support you?” He asked. Richard did not expect such question.  
“My parents divorced when I was four. I used to see my dad every two months for one weekend. It stopped when he found out about all these things about me. It was just me, my mom and my older sister. My sister married her boyfriend and moved to Canada when I was twelve. My mom was very supportive. I was a kid, so I couldn't have done it without her. She got cancer when I was fifteen. She said she'd help me to have my true identity even if it was the last thing she'd do. She passed away when I was sixteen and in therapy. My mom was my guardian angel. I lived with my grandmother after that. She didn't really like me because I was trans. I guess she just let me stay with her because my mom made her promise, and I also had nowhere else to live until recently.” Richard finished with a shaky voice and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He had missed his mom so much.  
He was enveloped in Chris's arms again. He held on to the man and couldn't help but feel safe. “You've been through so much.” Chris whispered and squeezed Richard in his arms.  
Chris gently pulled away and looked down at him with a smile. “Was this the complication that you said I wouldn't want in my life?”  
Richard felt his heartbeat raising. “Some of it.” He replied.  
“What else?” Chris asked.  
Richard hesitated. “I've never been with a man before.”  
“What about women?” Chris asked. His expression didn't even change. Like it didn't really matter to him. Richard thought he could fly away in relief.  
“I dated a lesbian in high school. I didn't like it. And I hooked up with a trans woman when I was seventeen. I kinda liked that. But I still liked men better. I was always too afraid to do anything about it though.” He replied.  
“Why?”  
“I figured no one would wanna be with me. I'm a pretty messed up package.” He shrugged.  
“I didn't hear anything after “pretty”” Chris smiled and kissed Richard again. This time, it wasn't a small peck. He gently brushed his tongue over Richard's bottom lip, and Richard parted his lips in an invitation. Chris tentatively pushed his tongue into Richard's mouth and massaged Richard's tongue. Richard hummed when Chris ran his fingers through his hair and held his face in his hands. Chris pulled his tongue out and went back to small clinging kisses on Richard's parted lips and his cheeks and chin. Then, pulled away and looked down at Richard's flushed face. “I want all your complications.” He whispered, and Richard smiled broadly. This time, Richard initiated the kiss. He raised his arms and wrapped them around Chris's neck and connected their lips. Chris circled his arms around Richard's waist and practically picked him up in his lap. Richard hummed and went willingly. It was so comfortable and cozy on Chris's lap. “You smell like my shampoo and.... me.” Chris whispered with a smile and Richard blushed. They kissed again, and even when Chris had deepened the kiss, his mouth was still on Richard's so carefully and slowly like he was afraid Richard might break.  
“I'm not made of glass, you know?” Richard whispered, and their lips were now only brushing each other.  
“I don't want to hurt you.” He replied quietly and gently stroked Richard's back.  
“How can kissing me hurt me?” Richard asked, confused. Chris looked down at him and smiled while nuzzling his fingers to Richard's cheeks. He didn't reply and just kissed Richard again. A little firmer but it was still very tentative. A wave of stress suddenly surged through Richard and he broke the kiss.  
“What is it, baby?” Chris asked him and looked concerned. Richard shuddered over the pet name.  
“I don't know anything.” He blurted out nervously.  
“About what?”  
“About anything. About you, about th-this.” Richard gestured to the small space between them in a panicked haze.  
“What do you want to know about me?” Chris asked with a half smile, and ran his fingers through Richard's hair.  
Richard blinked at him, and thought about the question, then remembered. “What's your favorite color?”  
“That's what you want to know?” Chris asked with a big smile which turned into a chuckle. Richard nodded, seriously.  
“Um… ok, let's see.” Chris looked around his bedroom like he had never thought about his favorite color. “Grey, maybe.” He finally said.  
“Grey, maybe? What is your back up favorite color?” Richard asked in disbelief. This couldn't work.  
“I don't know. Silver?”  
“Ok, I'll take that. Favorite movies?” Richard asked.  
“The shining, inglorious bastards, memento.” He replied.  
“Favorite football team?” Richard raised an eyebrow.  
“I'm a Berliner. What do you think? Hertha, of course.” He replied like it was the most obvious thing.  
“Right. Oh, favorite food?”  
“Anything with red meat.” He replied and clashed his teeth together.  
Richard giggled. “You sound like a wolf.” Chris hooked an arm around Richard's waist and threw him on the bed, and was on top of him in a second. “How do you know I'm not one?” He said jokingly and shoved his face into Richard's neck and pretended to bite him with playful loud wolf growls and tickled him. Richard squeaked and giggled loudly and tried to push him.  
“Stop, stop, please.” Richard begged between giggles. Chris immediately stopped and looked down at him. He kissed Richard's forehead. Richard stared up at him nervously again.  
“Hey, don't worry. We'll take it at your pace, fast, slow. You choose. I'll tell you whatever you want to know.” Chris told him.  
“Thank you.” Richard whispered.  
“You're welcome, baby. For starters, what do you say I take you to dinner tonight?” He asked with a smile, and pushed Richard's hair off his face.  
“Yes, but can I choose the place, please? And it'll be my treat.” Richard said and smiled hopefully. He really didn't want to go to bed hungry again.  
“No way! You can choose the restaurant, but you're not paying for my dinner!” He said like Richard said the most offensive thing.  
“Ok, but I'll pay for my own dinner.” Richard pouted.  
“No, you won't. I'm asking you out which means it's my treat. You can play “split the check” with your friends.” He sounded kind of annoyed now.  
“You just said we'll take it at my pace.” Richard reminded him with pouty lips.  
“This has nothing to do with the pace. Don't argue with me over money, Richard. Choose wherever you like and text me the address.” He said authoritatively.  
Richard gave up. “Text you?” He asked. Was he being nicely kicked out?  
“Yes, baby. There's something work related I have to do today. I'll drive you back to your dorm. I'm sorry, sweetie.” He said apologetically and kissed Richard's forehead.  
“It's ok. I have homework to do anyway.” He replied. He really had a lot of work to do. Right now, he was trying to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest from the butterfly-feeling of those pet names.  
“Your clothes are in the dryer. I'll get’em for you.” Chris smiled and got off him after another forehead kiss. Richard sat up on the bed with a big grin on his face.  
After getting ready, Chris drove him back to his dorm and kissed him passionately before letting him go. Richard was grinning like an idiot when he opened the door to the apartment.  
“I was about to call you.” Paul said from the kitchen with his phone in one hand, and a spatula in the other.  
“I told him.” Richard announced happily and went to the kitchen.  
“Told what? To whom?” Paul's eyes grew round when Richard hugged him from behind.  
“That I'm trans. To Mr Schneider.”  
“You were with him last night? Weren't you at work?” Paul asked and turned around to face him. Richard stepped back and jumped to sit on the counter, and picked a cookie from his favorite box. “I was. Then I was gonna go back to this guy's place, and there he was. He made the guy run away and took me to his place and took care of me.” Richard replied with a mouth full of cookies.  
“What the fuck? What guy's place?” Paul yelled in surprise.  
“Yeah, about that. You work at Starbucks, can you ask them if they might need someone? I need another job. I can go full hours on weekends.” Richard said. The tuition issue was still there.  
“You already work every night. How much more hours can you possibly put in?” Paul asked, worriedly.  
“I need 3K in like a month. I have to pay my tuition. The club is not gonna be enough.” Richard replied.  
“Ok, I'll ask them. They always need someone on the weekends. Our branch is open on Sundays, so I think you'll get the job.” Paul promised.  
“Great. Thanks, Paulie.”  
“So… did you guys do it?” Paul asked.  
Richard blushed. “We just talked and made out for a while. We're going to dinner tonight. That reminds me. Do you know any good student affordable restaurants?”  
“Isn't he, like, crazy rich? Why do you need a student affordable place?” Paul asked.  
“Last time he took me to a restaurant that its cheapest dish was more expensive than my grocery in a month. I ended up hungry, cuz I didn't wanna seem like a gold digger.” Richard shrugged.  
“That makes sense, I guess. I know a pretty good Italian place in the city center. I'll send you the location.” Paul said.  
“Thanks.” Richard said, and took his phone out when it buzzed. He grinned at the screen when he saw it was from Mr Schneider. He was reading it when Paul appeared on his side to see who's making Richard grin like an idiot.  
Mr Schneider: Already missing you, baby. What did you have for lunch?  
“Look, you're his baby.” Paul snickered with a sarcastic tone.  
“And his sweetie, too.” Richard said wistfully and opened the thread to reply.  
“He's your boyfriend, and you saved his name Mr Schneider?” Paul asked and picked two plates for the Spaghetti.  
“I saved his number a few days ago, when he wasn't.” Richard still couldn't say the word boyfriend. It seemed too odd and made him just too happy, he didn't want to jinx it.  
He typed: Miss you, too. Paul's made spaghetti. What did you have?  
Mr Schneider: Nothing yet. I'm at the most boring place on earth.  
Richard: Aw. Where are you?  
Mr Schneider: At a goddamn golf club. One of our customer companies invited me and my partner to lunch at this place.  
Richard stared at the words “My partner” anxiously, and typed: I didn't know you had a partner, Mr Schneider.  
Mr Schneider: Working partners, baby. His name is Till. We've been friends since college.  
Richard sighed in relief, and typed: Oh, ok. I hope you have fun. I hear that golf is rich old men's favorite physical activity.  
Richard grinned at his own teasing.  
He blushed deep red when he read the next text. His eyes grew round. Mr Schneider: I'll tell you what this old man's favorite physical activity is later, little boy. Go eat your spaghetti, and don't stuff yourself on cookies. Do your homework, and don't forget to text me about the restaurant.  
Richard was feeling brave over the phone, so he decided to tease further and see what happens. He typed: Yes, daddy.  
Mr Schneider: Good boy.  
Richard squeaked loudly and pressed his phone against his chest.  
“What now?” Paul asked and got some beers from the fridge. Richard jumped off the counter and joined him at the small table. “Nothing.” He squeaked again.  
“Jesus.” Paul chuckled.  
Richard was so excited about tonight, he felt the butterflies in his stomach were smuggling all the spaghetti he consumed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zven is a pretty strange name. I'm really glad Richard decided to change it!
> 
> PS. Zven always reminds me of the character Sven on Disney's Frozen. :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who went overboard again :D  
> BTW, you guys have no idea how much your support of this story means to me. I can't express it. Please keep letting me know what you think.

Richard was in his room getting ready for their date that night. He put on a pair of blue jeans and the white t-shirt Chris had bought him and of course, his chest binder. He had already shaved, put his makeup on, and painted his nails. Then, he remembered he had left his leather jacket at the club last night. So he decided to check if he could borrow Paul's. He walked out of his room, left the door open and saw Paul and Nikki making dinner in the kitchen. “Paul, can I borrow your leather jacket? I left mine at work last night.”  
“Yeah, sure. It's hanging at the back of my door, but it might be a little tight for you.” Paul replied.  
“Dress to impress, I see. You look nice, Richard.” Nikki told him.  
“Really? You think so?” Richard asked self-consciously and looked down at himself.  
“Yeah, you do. You're probably gonna get lucky tonight.” Paul winked.  
Richard blushed. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't hoping for that. “Use protection.” Nikki said and pointed a spoon at Richard. “You never know where a hot rich thirty-one-year-old dude has been.” She added.  
“Thanks for the advice, Nikki.” Richard rolled his eyes and went to Paul's room to get his jacket. He went to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror. It was a bit too tight, and Richard couldn't zip it up, and the sleeves were slightly short, but he thought he looked hot in it. He heard the doorbell, and panicked. He looked around nervously and thought he should probably pee before leaving. He sat on the toilet a while longer to get his thoughts in line, then washed his hands and walked out. No one was in the living room but Paul and Nikki!  
“I heard the door.” Richard said.  
“Yup, he's in your room.” Paul said with a mouth full of sausage.  
“What?” Richard panicked. He certainly wasn't ready to show his messy room to Chris. It contained the most private part of his life.  
“Your door was open, and he asked if it was my room and I said it was yours. I told him he could wait for you in there if he liked. Shouldn't have I done that?” Paul asked with a worried look.  
“No, you poophead! You shouldn't have.” Richard said angrily.  
“Poophead?” Nikki asked as Richard walked by them and smacked Paul in the head.  
“Ow. Jeez. It's Richard's equivalent of fucktard.” Was the last thing Richard heard, before walking into his room.  
______________  
Chris entered Richard's room after Paul told him he could wait in there. He was shocked for a second with what he saw. It was a fairly large room, but very very messy. The bed was in the corner and the bed sheets… Chris stared at the bedding. It had a bunch of jungle animals presumably playing around on a light blue background, and the pillowcase had only a baby elephant hanging from a rope by its trunk. A very old brown stuffed bear was sitting on the pillow, and it seemed to be of importance because the rest of the stuffed animals were carelessly scattered around the room. The walls were covered with different photos and drawings. Photos of cartoon characters, Disney movies, some motivational quotes, photos of nature, a couple of bands, and some drawings that were signed by someone named “Reeshy” and some were signed by “Rosy”. Chris figured they were Richard's works. The ones signed by Rosy, had a more childish theme to them. They were probably from before his transition. They all had something in common: all were Brilliant and artistic and creative. Right in the middle of all the artworks and photos, was a huge photograph of a young and very beautiful woman who looked a lot like Richard. Chris stared at it. She was probably his mom. Chris felt a knot in his throat. Poor boy had been through a lot. Chris looked around. There were some toys scattered around, and a bunch of clothes as well. Chris saw some tweety bird pajamas on the chair behind the desk. The desk itself was a mess. Covered in colored pencils, papers, sketches, paint brushes, an old laptop, and then Chris saw something which made him gasp. He saw a drawing portrait of himself in the middle of the papers. It looked flawless, it was like someone had printed a black and white photo of Chris.  
“Hi.” Chris heard Richard's small voice from the door. He turned around and saw the boy. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful this kid was. He was wearing a leather jacket probably two sizes smaller than himself which made him crazy hot. Richard glanced at what Chris was holding, and his cheeks and neck went crimson.  
“I'm sorry, Richard. I shouldn't have just walked into your room.” Chris said. Richard's room, unlike Chris's room, seemed very personal and Chris couldn't help but feel like he just broke into someone's private fortress.  
“It's ok. You can leave if you like. I understand.” Richard said while toying with his fingers and not looking up.  
“What do you mean?” Chris asked, puzzled. He put the drawing down, and walked to Richard.  
“I was hoping you wouldn't find out this soon that I was a freak.” He replied quietly and shyly.  
Chris took Richard's chin and made him look up. God, he was beautiful, and he looked even more lovely when he was shy, which was almost always. A thread of his blond hair was in his forehead and Chris gently pushed it away.  
“It looks like a four-year-old’s room.” Richard whispered helplessly.  
“Is that the age you regress to? Four?” Chris asked softly. It wasn't difficult for him to put two and two together.  
Richard's mouth fell open, and his big blue eyes grew round. “H-how do you know that?”  
“That you're a little? I think it's quite obvious.” Chris smiled and gestured around.  
Richard went and sat on his bed, taking his head in his hands. Chris looked at him. Not sure of how to reassure him that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.  
“What's your bear’s name?” He asked.  
“Mr bear.” Richard mumbled without looking up.  
“That's original.” Chris smiled. Then Richard turned his head and picked up the bear. “I used to call him lady snuggles.” He said, and paused and suddenly seemed unsure but then added. “He transitioned with me.”  
“How long have you had him?” Chris asked. Richard was unbelievably adorable.  
“My mom got him for me when I was six.” He replied in a small tone.  
“Is that her?” Chris asked and pointed at the large photograph. Richard looked at where Chris was pointing, and nodded. “That's two years before she got sick. I did that painting after she was gone.”  
“That's a painting?” Chris asked, shocked. “I thought it was a photograph. You're extremely talented, Richard. Did you know that?” Richard seemed uncomfortable with the compliment.  
“When did you drew the one of me?” Chris asked.  
Richard looked up at him, already blushed. “The day I met you.”  
Chris went to him, and sat next to him on the bed. “Do you think that you're a freak?” He asked and took Richard's hand in his. Richard shrugged and nodded. “Would you think that I was a freak if I tell you that I like you even more now?” He asked. Richard's eyes snapped up. He blinked, gave Chris a fade smile and nodded. Chris chuckled in response. “Would you like us to be freaks together?”  
Richard looked into Chris's eyes, like he was scanning them. After a few moments, he nodded. “Ok, baby. Let's go.”  
“Where?” Richard asked with round eyes.  
“Dinner?” Chris chuckled. Richard furrowed in acknowledgment and got up. They walked out, and Chris opened his car’s door for Richard. He thought about the last couple nights and watching Richard doing all sorts of wrongs! Watching Richard at the club, it was obvious to Chris how much he hated giving private lap dances to those men. Chris saw him the first night when his friend invited him to a gay club after a long time. He didn't want to make a scene in front of his friend, so he didn't approach Richard. The night after that, he went there by himself and sat somewhere and watched Richard. Jealousy kept eating away at him, but he was more mature than to go and cut off the dance and make Richard leave with him. He figured it would look weird and way out of place, since he had no claim on Richard. He also couldn't help but get hot from watching Richard dancing around the pole like that. He seemed relaxed and even happy up there, unlike the times he was giving lap dances. The third night, when Chris walked into the club, he saw that Richard had just finished smoking a blunt. He seemed too tweaked out of his mind to care about his surroundings, so Chris kept a close distance just in case. He had decided to meddle in that night. When he saw Richard leaving the club with a guy who was old enough to be his grandfather, he just lost it and knew he had to put a stop to it. It wasn't about his feelings for Richard anymore, it was the matter of Richard's safety.  
Chris used to be a regular at places like that. The dancing area wasn't really his thing, he didn't like paying someone for a dance, or paying for any kind of sexual activity in general. He would usually go to the back room, find a one night stand and got out. It didn't really matter to him if he was with a man or a woman or a anyone of other genders. He knew he was bi since he was sixteen years old. He just liked the kind of rawness that existed only in gay clubs. He had had many sexual and romantic partners over the years, but he was always too busy to develop emotional attachments. The last time he had dated an eighteen-year-old, was when he, himself, was twenty and dated a freshman girl in college which of course, didn't go well. He knew he wasn't attracted to this kid because of his age. If he wanted to be honest with himself, this was the thing he kept trying to repulse himself with when he first met Richard. He kept telling himself that liking a person who was more than a decade younger than him, was simply just wrong. But somehow, it ceased to be important. He couldn't get the blonde shy kid out of his head, and he couldn't care less about Richard's age. The important thing was that Richard was legally an adult now.  
He turned his head and looked at Richard who had his head laid against the window. He took Richard's hand in his and laced their fingers together. “Penny for your thoughts.” He said when Richard turned his head to him.  
“Did you go to college?” Richard asked. That was out of the blue!  
“Yes, I did. Why?”  
“No reason. Which college?” He asked.  
“I got my Bachelor's in Berlin, and my master's in London, I worked in London for a year, then came back home.” He replied, and out of impulse, pressed the back of Richard's hand to his lips and kissed it. Richard's fingers tightened around his.  
“You've been to London?” He shouted and his mouth fell open in surprise. He sat straight in his seat to stare at Chris.  
“Yes, why?”  
“I LOVE London. Have you been to the London Eye? Or the London zoo? They have an entire family of elephants there. I love elephants. Oh, and London has an awesome Disney world. I heard that they give you a princess makeover and you can party with other princesses.” He yelled all that happily and his cheeks flushed with excitement. Chris thought there was no way one human being could get any more adorable than this.  
“Baby, I think they do that in all Disney worlds and Disney lands. And no, I haven't been to the London zoo, but I've been to the London Eye.” A vague plan for taking Richard to London formed in Chris's head.  
“What was it like?” He asked with twinkling eyes.  
“Extraordinary, actually. Did you know that you can buy a Viking helmet and wear it on the Ferris wheel?”  
“NOOOO! Woooow. Vikings were bad people, but I love their helmets.” He said. “What did you study there?” He asked.  
“Microelectronics.”  
“You're smart.” Richard commented.  
Chris smiled. “You're smart, too, baby.” Chris wasn't really one for those kinds of pet names, but with Richard “baby” seemed to be the most suitable term of endearment.  
“I've never had enough amount of smart in me for science.” Richard said, and Chris smiled affectionately at the way he put the words together.  
“And I've never had the incredible artistic nature you have. Everyone is different, sweetheart.” He said, and it made Richard smile.  
They arrived at the restaurant Richard had picked. It was a small and friendly Italian place. They sat at a table and a waitress brought them two menus. Chris hadn't been in that type of restaurant in years. It was a nice change of scenery. There were no obnoxious and snobby looking people around them. Chris ordered a Penne, and Richard wanted a pizza.  
“Drinks?” The waitress asked. Richard looked at the menu again, and asked. “Does your orange juice have pulp in it?”  
“Yes, it does. One orange juice?” The waitress began writing.  
“No, I don't like pulp. Can I get some apple juice, please?” He asked, and blinked up at the middle-aged woman.  
“Of course, honey. And for you, sir?” She smiled at Richard, and asked Chris, who was so charmed by Richard that he forgot what he wanted to order.  
“One glass of 2005 Nebbiolo.”  
“Coming right up.” She said and left.  
“You know a lot about drinks, don't you?” Richard asked, amused.  
“I like wine.” Chris replied with a smile. “Don't you?”  
Richard blushed before replying. “I had my first wine with you, actually.”  
Right! Richard had turned eighteen only months ago. “You weren't drinking before eighteen, then?” He asked.  
“I was, but mostly beer. It was difficult to find alcohol in my village if you weren't an adult. Everyone knew everyone else, so they would never sell alcohol to kids. My friend would steal beer from his dad sometimes. I've had whiskey once.” Richard added and scrunched his face in disgust.  
“You didn't like it?” Chris smiled at the cute face he made.  
“No, it was yucky. I'd press my nose between my fingers so I couldn't smell it, and I'd eat an orange slice before letting go of my nose.” He explained. Chris looked at him for a moment. It was difficult not to get up and hold Richard tight in his arms while kissing him for being so fucking adorable.  
“How old were you?” Chris asked.  
“Oh, it was yesterday.” Richard said and looked down.  
“And the weed?” Chris asked.  
“I… I was very upset last night. It was my first time doing drugs.” Richard said quietly and stared at his lap.  
“Can you promise me that it was also your last time?” Chris asked, seriously.  
“Yes.” He whispered.  
Chris leaned forward. “Look me in the eye and promise me that you won't do anything like that ever again.” He kept his tone serious and authoritative.  
Richard looked up at him. “I promise.”  
The food arrived and they began eating. “How was lunch at the golf club, by the way?” Richard asked after swallowing a mouthful of pizza.  
“Like I said. Boring. The food was pretty good though. I haven't had oysters in a while.” He replied.  
“How can you eat oysters?” Richard scrunched his face again. “They're… slippery. And they're alive when they go down your throat!” Richard said in disbelief and sipped on his apple juice.  
“So you don't like things that are slippery and alive when they go down your throat?” Chris teased. Richard looked at him for a second, unfathomed. Then got the joke, blushed madly and blinked. “I… I-” He stammered.  
“That was a joke, baby. A bad one, obviously. I'm sorry.” Chris smiled and took Richard's hand which was resting on the table. Richard's shoulders relaxed and his skin slowly returned to its original pale color.  
“Did you do your homework today?” He changed the subject.  
“Yes, I did. I was supposed to write one page about this poetry the professor talked about during the lecture.” He replied and seemed normal again.  
“Good. When is your first class tomorrow?”  
“At 11. I have sculpture on Mondays.” He said happily.  
They spent the rest of the night talking about other random things, and Chris was more and more smitten by this kid. He was smart, brilliant, funny, extremely sweet and polite and of course, impossibly gorgeous. After Chris paid for dinner, they walked to his car and got in. The first thing Chris did, was pulling Richard to himself and kissing him. Richard put both his hands on Chris's right leg and kissed him back. His mouth tasted like apple juice and his little noises were making Chris very hard. After a minute, Chris gently pulled away to allow both of them to breathe. Richard whined and leaned forward.  
“Do you want me to take you back to your dorm?” Chris asked quietly.  
Richard shook his head. “No.”  
“Where, then?” Chris wanted this to be Richard's decision.  
“Y-your place.” Richard panted.  
Chris looked into his eyes. They were glassy and needy. “Are you sure about this, Richard?”  
Richard nodded eagerly.  
____________  
Richard couldn't believe this was actually going to happen. He was about to burst out of his own skin. He had enjoyed the dinner very much, and getting to know Chris like that felt so great. He decided he really liked this man. He was so sophisticated and smart and he seemed to care about Richard. But the best thing, was the way he reacted to Richard's biggest secret.  
They arrived at Chris's apartment and made out the whole way up in the elevator. Chris wrapped his arms around Richard's hips and hoisted Richard up so easily and carried him into the bedroom. Richard had been in Chris's apartment two times and not once had he walked the distance from the elevator to Chris's bedroom. Chris put him down when they were in his bedroom, and held Richard's face in his hands. “I want you to tell me if at any point you felt it was becoming too much for you. I will stop immediately and we'll figure something out. There's no pressure on you here, baby. Tell me if you didn't like something. Do you understand me?” He whispered softly and kissed Richard's forehead. There were no signs of impatience in him. Richard nodded.  
“Answer me, sweetheart.” He demanded.  
“I understand, Mist-... I understand, Chris.” He corrected himself before calling him Mr Schneider again. Although calling him Chris felt kind of odd.  
“Good boy.” He smiled and began very softly kissing Richard again. He slowly took Paul's jacket off him and then gently pulled away from Richard's mouth. “Is it ok if I take your t-shirt off, baby?” He asked. Richard nodded. Chris gently took Richard's t-shirt off him and revealed his skin colored chest binder. Chris looked up at Richard again. “And this?” He asked.   
“I… I want to leave it on.” Richard replied. His chest was probably his biggest dysphoria and he certainly wasn't ready to reveal it to Chris. The man smiled, and kissed Richard's forehead and whispered. “Whatever you want, is fine, baby.” Then, knelt in front of Richard and undid his jeans and took them off as well along with his shoes and socks. Richard was wearing a red thong underneath. Chris held Richard's hips and kissed his flat stomach. Richard looked down at him, the man's eyes were closed and he was running his tongue across Richard's bellybutton. Richard ran his fingers through Chris's hair and hummed to the warm feeling. “Is it ok if I kiss you here?” Chris asked when his lips were against Richard's crotch. Richard nodded, bemused. Then, Chris kissed the fabric of Richard's thong and ran his tongue over it. Richard couldn't stop the small moan that left his lips.  
“Oh, poor baby. You're soaking wet for me.” Chris breathed and the words made Richard shudder. “Can I take this off you?” He asked, and Richard nodded again. He began gently pulling Richard's thong down. Richard lift his feet, in turn, to get out of them. Then, Chris stood up and kissed his mouth again, while guiding him to the bed and lying him down. Richard lay there with his hands on the sides of his head, and watched the man getting undressed. He took his jacket and tie off first. Then, unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it out of his pants taking that off, too. He unbuckled his belt and Richard could feel his heart jumping out, and his front hole leaking. Chris didn't once took his eyes off Richard's. He pulled his pants and boxers down together and his huge member sprung out. Richard gasped and stared at the large hard flesh with round eyes. He was beginning to worry about how he was supposed to accommodate that. Chris opened the nightstand and brought out a condom. He licked his palm and stroked his cock all while looking into Richard's eyes. He wore the condom and was finally on top of Richard gently kissing him. Richard's body was still tensed and rigid. He was afraid of being penetrated with that thing. The largest things that he had inside himself were one finger, and one very small penis of that transwoman that he had hooked up with.  
Chris was now kissing his neck and ears, but Richard still couldn't relax. “Baby boy, what's wrong? You're so tense.” He whispered softly and looked into Richard's eyes.  
“Y-you’re s-so big.” He blinked and knew he was crimson.  
“You'll stretch, sweetheart. I'll go very slow and I'll stop if you can't take it, ok?” He said kindly.  
Richard nodded. Chris smiled and went back to kissing Richard's neck while running his hands up and down Richard's torso. “My brave boy.” He whispered and kissed Richard's collarbone, and moved down ignoring Richard's bound chest to which Richard was very thankful for. Chris began kissing Richard's stomach and bellybutton. Richard let out a small sound to the very pleasant sensation. Chris went further down and kissed Richard's belly again. Richard gasped when Chris began kissing his pubic area. “Would it bother you if I touch and kiss you here, sweetheart?” He asked. Richard swallowed and tried to come up with words. “No. It… it's fine.”   
Chris kissed his pubic area again “Did you shave for me, baby?” Chris asked in a very amused tone, and Richard was so embarrassed that he stopped breathing for a second. “Aha” He breathed.  
“I need your words when I ask you a question, little boy.” He said softly and kissed Richard there again. Richard's legs jerked in response. “Yes.”  
“Yes, what?” He asked, and gently spread Richard's legs and licked the inside of his labia. “Yes, what?” He repeated. Richard thought he could die if Chris wouldn't lick him there again. “Yes, daddy.” He blurted out and hoped it was what Chris wanted to hear, and judging from what happened next, it was. Chris ran his tongue over Richard's labia, and Richard spread his legs helplessly. His stomach clenched in pleasure and all he was capable of, was making lewd and obscene noises.  
“So responsive. You're such a good little boy for daddy, baby.” He said and sucked Richard's clitoris which made Richard dig his nails into the sheets and arch his back while moaning in a high pitched voice. Suddenly, Chris stopped and climbed back up to tower over Richard and look into his eyes. “Baby? Are you ok with frontal penetration?” He asked softly. Richard knew he was crimson. He just stared up at the man, unable to reply. Chris kissed his forehead before speaking again. “It's all about you, sweetheart. I need you to be honest with me. If you think it might make you uncomfortable, there are plenty of other things we can do.”   
“I… I don't have bottom dysphoria during… during… this.” Richard stammered. He couldn't bring himself to say the word “sex” he was too shy and little for that. But it was the truth. He never had bottom dysphoria during sex. It was his pleasure source and he was fine with it. Chris smiled at him and kissed his forehead again where he whispered. “You can tell me if at any point you changed your mind, ok?” He asked, and Richard nodded. Chris went down on him again and Richard felt a finger at his entrance and Chris slowly pushed it inside while sucking his clit. Richard felt the pleasure shooting through his pelvis and spreading across his body. Chris didn't thrust his finger in and out, he just kept it inside Richard as deep as possible and brushed his fingertip against Richard's insides. Richard could feel the involuntary clench and he felt the overwhelming climax slowly seeping through him, and washing him down. He gasped and pulled at his own hair, and whimpered helplessly as he climaxed so hard that it actually took his breath away for a few moments. Chris kept sucking his clit through his orgasm and the pleasure felt never-ending. Chris finally let go, but his finger was still inside Richard. Richard was panting out of control and he let himself go on the bed, but kept his legs spread. “That was amazing, baby. Daddy's proud of you.” Chris whispered and very slowly pulled his finger out. Richard cried out at the loss. Chris was back on top of him looking down at him with a smile. Richard looked up from between his half-lidded eyes.  
“You're so sweet, baby. Do you want to taste yourself?” Chris smiled at him. His lips were wet from Richard. Richard nodded, and was being kissed in mere seconds. He could taste himself in Chris's mouth. It was something between sweet and salty, and it was hot and so dirty. Richard moaned and wrapped his legs around Chris's waist. Chris broke the kiss, and looked into Richard's eyes again. “Do you want more, my little rainbow?” He asked.  
Richard's heart skipped a beat at the pet name. He just nodded with his mouth fell open. “Do you want daddy inside you now, baby boy?” He asked again, and brushed a finger over Richard's wet lips.  
“Please, daddy. I do.” Richard mustered all his power to generate those words.  
“I can't say no to such beauty.” Chris murmured and kissed him again, then knelt up between Richard's legs. He held onto the back of Richard's thighs and bent Richard's knees up and spread them. “Can you hold your legs like this for me, pretty boy?”  
“Yes, daddy.” Richard whispered. He felt the head of Chris's cock at his entrance and clenched his stomach in anticipation. “Shhh… relax, baby. If it was too much, tell daddy, ok?”  
“Ok.” Richard said and didn't recognize his own voice.  
Chris pushed the head inside and Richard gasped. Chris stayed immobile for a second to get Richard acquainted with his size, then pushed a little bit more. Richard clawed the sheets. “Does it hurt, baby?” He asked. His voice was shaking, Richard looked up at him. He seemed very impatient, but his actions said otherwise. Richard shook his head and pushed his hips up to get more of Chris inside him. He surprised himself with a moan.  
“Oh, my brave boy.” Chris said proudly, and pushed in even more until they were completely joined. Richard tried to grind but it was difficult in this position.  
“Are you ok, baby?” Chris asked.  
“Yes, daddy.” Richard replied and felt himself falling further and further into his little space. Even the pitch of his voice was different now.  
“I'm going to move now.” Chris said, and began slowly stroking inside Richard. “Fuck, baby, you're tight.” He hissed and leaned forward and kissed Richard's neck while keeping up the slow rhythm of his thrusts. He picked up the pace after Richard was stretched open, and the pain was gone. Richard was beginning to feel another hard climax in his tummy aiming for his middle part. He was a panting moaning mess by now, and his hole tightened again. He heard Chris's groan and it turned him on even more. His legs were quivering and he wrapped his legs tighter around Chris's waist. One last stroke, and he was absolutely overwhelmed for the second time that night. He moaned loud and his entire body went into a heavy contraction as he came again. Chris's loud and sexy groan had told him that daddy was done, too. Richard went limp and motionless on the bed, while Chris gently kissed his neck and was still hard inside him.  
“Hmmm… daddy.” Richard purred. He let go of his last straw and let himself hit the bottom of submission in his little space. He had never felt something so strong like this before.  
“I'm here, baby. I'm so proud of you, my rainbow boy. You did amazing.” Chris praised and kissed him. Richard whined when he attempted to pull out. It slightly hurt. Chris rolled off Richard and Richard heard him taking off the condom, and discarding it somewhere on the floor. Then, he was cuddling Richard to his chest. Richard threw one leg between Chris's legs to be closer to him. “Are you ok, baby boy?”  
“Yes, daddy.” Richard whispered.  
“Wasn't it too much?” He asked while playing with Richard's hair.  
Richard pushed his head to Chris's chest. “Can we do this every day, daddy?”  
He heard Chris's chuckle. “Of course, we can, my sweet boy.”  
“Thank you, daddy.” He said in his most childish tone and cuddled closer to the man.  
“Anything for my little rainbow.” He said and kissed Richard's hair. “Baby, are you sure you want to sleep with the binder on? Doesn't it hurt you?” Chris asked, concerned. He was right, but Richard was too worn out to go through the ordeal of taking the binder off, but he knew that he should. He nodded and attempted to roll off the bed. He picked up his t-shirt from the floor to go to the bathroom. “Let me know if you needed help, baby.” Chris said. Richard said a quiet ok and shut the door behind him. When he took the damn thing off, he could finally breathe. He wore his t-shirt and felt ten pounds lighter. He got out of the bathroom and into the bed where Chris was waiting for him with open arms and a kind smile. Chris spooned him and kissed his neck. All Richard wanted, was for their skin to be in complete contact but he wasn't ready to let anyone see his chest yet. He fell asleep, exhausted, before thinking more about it.   
_________

Chris woke up with the sound of his alarm going off. It took him a second to realize where the noise was coming from. His phone was on the nightstand next to Richard so he had to lean over him and get it. Richard groaned and rolled on his stomach and shoved his head in the pillow. Chris turned off his alarm and saw Richard stretching his arm in the same direction like he was searching for something. Chris watched him and stayed still to see what he would do. Richard's head was turned away from him, so he couldn't see Chris even if his eyes were open. He kept searching and suddenly lifted his head up and after a few seconds, turned to face Chris. His sleepy eyes turned round like he had forgotten where he was. “Hi!” He said shyly.  
“Good morning, baby.” Chris smiled at him, and saw a pink blush tainting his cheeks. “What were you looking for?” He asked.  
“Thought I’s in ma bed. Lookin fo Mr bear.” He mumbled sweetly.  
“Sorry to disappoint, sweetheart.” Chris smiled at him. Richard shifted and curled to be close to Chris and purred. Chris gently pushed him on his back and showered his face and neck with small kisses. “How are you feeling?” He asked.  
“Alright.” He replied and looked up from between those long eyelashes.  
“Just alright? Let me see if I can make it better.” Chris said, and smiled at him. He leaned in and began kissing Richard. Richard kissed him back and wrapped his arms around Chris. Chris hadn't had a sexual encounter so intimate and sweet in years. In fact, he thought he had never experienced something like last night before. He had had very intense orgasms in the past, but nothing as personal as last night. It was a pleasure to pleasure someone as sweet and beautiful as this kid. Chris thought he could pleasure Richard every day and just have fun with his adorable little responses.  
Chris smiled when he brushed a finger over Richard's hole and it was already soaking wet. “Aw, baby wants more, doesn't he?” He couldn't help but comment. Richard bit his lips and spread his legs. Chris decided he liked hearing Richard call him daddy. No, actually he loved it and wouldn't mind hearing it on a daily basis. It was certainly better than Mr Schneider, and from the looks of it, calling him Chris was still uncomfortable for Richard.  
He kept rubbing and playing with Richard's clit until he had him squirming beautifully in need. Chris decided to take it a step further. “Don't come before daddy says you can.” He whispered and Richard whined from the back of his throat. Chris rubbed a thumb over Richard's clit and began massaging his labia. Richard moaned and arched his back. “Not yet, baby.” Richard whimpered. Chris kissed and sucked small bruises on his neck and throat and by the time he had marked Richard for the fifth time, Richard was a writhing pretty mess. Chris stretched his other arm to the nightstand drawer to get a condom. He ripped the package with his teeth, all the while massaging Richard's clit.  
“Do you want to come, baby?” He whispered in Richard's ear and pressed his thumb firmer on Richard's clit. Richard just whined lewdly and kept his bottom lip between his teeth. He was so lovely, Chris could just finger him all day and enjoy his whinings. “You don't?” Chris asked, and stopped the movements of his fingers. Richard thrust his hips up desperately and begged. “Please, please, daddy. I wanna come.” He looked like he was about to burst into tears. Chris smiled and rubbed his clit with three fingers. “Come for me, baby.” He said and Richard cried out loudly and curled his toes while trying to pull his hair out of his head, and came. Before Richard could get a chance to take a breath, Chris put the condom on, and surged his achingly hard cock inside him, and made him gasp. His hole was already contracting so hard from his orgasm, that Chris found it difficult to thrust. Richard lifted his legs up and spread them in the air. Chris leaned forward and laced his fingers with Richard's and placed their joined hands on the sides of Richard's head. He thrust with a steady rhythm and knew he wasn't going to take long. He kissed the corner of Richard's spit-wet mouth and wished their skin could touch without Richard's t-shirt, but whatever made the boy more comfortable, was more than fine with Chris.   
Finally, the delicate way Richard was moaning, finished him. He came hard into the condom and wished he could come inside Richard. He groaned and went still. After his orgasm passed and he was still hard, he thrust into Richard again, hard and fast, until Richard whined prettily while biting his lip and came and his insides went into contraction again. Chris lay next to him, removed the condom and took Richard in his arms.  
After a few minutes, Chris noticed that Richard was asleep in his arms again. He glanced at the clock. 7:15. It was ok. He figured he could be late for once. He let Richard sleep for another hour and then, woke him up with kisses. “Baby? Wake up, sweetheart. Don't you have sculpture today?”  
Richard hummed and opened his eyes. “Goo’mornin” He mumbled. Chris smiled at him and kissed him. “We'll shower and I'll make us some breakfast, then I'll drive you to school.” Chris told him.  
“All my stuff are at home.” He replied sleepily. Chris got up and helped Richard up.  
“Ok, I'll take you home to get your stuff first.” He said as he walked them to the master bathroom. He stood over the toilet to pee.  
“Do you need to pee, baby?” Chris asked and Richard nodded. Then, just stood there and looked down.  
“Well?” Chris asked as he turned the shower on.  
“Well what?” Richard blinked at him.  
“Just pee and get in the shower.” He said softly.  
“B-but you're here.”  
“So?” Chris asked confused.  
Richard looked at him like Chris was missing an obvious point. “I can't pee in front of you.” He said shyly.  
“Why not?” Chris frowned in puzzlement.  
Richard stared at him. “Fine, I'll get out.” Chris rolled his eyes and left the bathroom. He waited for a minute and Richard finally opened the door and told him he was done. Chris wasn't sure if Richard would wanna shower with him, he decided to ask and after blushing a lot, Richard told him that he'd prefer to shower alone.   
They brushed their teeth, and showered separately and after that, Richard was quiet the whole time, but he seemed relaxed and contented, so Chris didn't pressure him to speak.  
Chris wanted to dress Richard, but didn't want him to wear his last night's underwear since it was dirty. So he went to his closet to get Richard a new pair. “Do you wear boxers?” He asked Richard.  
“Not under my pants. It gets sticky and gives me a heat rash. I don't know why.” He said in a small tone. All Chris's underwears had pouches, so he searched until he found one with a tighter pouch.  
“It's ok. I can wear my own.” Richard said from the bedroom. Chris came back with the black pair of underwear and smiled at Richard before kneeling in front of him and holding the underwear for him.  
“Oh, no. Yours will stay right here.” Chris said in a dark tone and got to his feet to pull them up, then he saw Richard was madly blushed. He held Richard's face and kissed him.  
“You're so sweet, did you know that?”  
Richard just smiled shyly. “How are you feeling? Are you sore?” Chris asked him.  
“A little.” He replied.  
“I like it.” Chris said with a sharp grin and kissed Richard's ear.  
Chris suddenly heard his phone ringing and went to pick it up. “Till?” He said.  
“Chris, where are you?” Till asked urgently.  
“I'm at home. Running a little late, why?”  
“We're swamped here, man. I need you. There's been a major fuck up in the finance department and your good ol’ Charismatic authority is required.”  
“Just handle it and I'll be there in an hour.”  
“Alright. See you.” Till replied and hung up.  
"Is there something wrong?" Richard asked him  
“No, baby. Nothing unusual. I'll get us something to eat from Starbucks on the way.” He said and quickly helped Richard into his jeans. He was already wearing his t-shirt of course, and then Chris got dressed himself.   
They got in his car and he drove to the Starbucks near Richard's dorm. The place was packed and there was a long line. “Fuck.”  
“It's ok. Paul works here. I'll go in see if he can do something.” Richard said.  
“Alright. Thanks, baby.”  
“What should I get for you?” He asked.  
“Latte is ok.”  
“Be right back.” He said and got out of the car. Chris waited for about ten minutes, and then Richard came back with two to-go cups and a paper bag. “I got muffins.” He said happily and handed one of the cups to Chris.  
Chris looked at the cup, it said “Reeshy” on it. “You gave me the wrong cup, Reeshy.” Chris said and chuckled softly. He would like to call Richard that.  
“Oh, right. That's my hot cocoa. Here's your latte.” He said politely and grinned at Chris.  
Chris's cup said “Daddy” on it. Chris smiled. “You wrote these or did Paul?” He asked.  
“Paul wrote mine, then I snatched his pen and wrote yours. Gotta get good at writing names on coffee cups.” Richard said and took a bite of his muffin.  
“What do you mean?” Chris asked as he started the car while drinking his daddy latte.  
“I need another job, so yesterday, I asked Paul to see if they needed someone on weekends, and just now, turned out they did. I'll start on Saturday morning.” He said happily.  
“What?” Chris almost yelled, and it startled Richard. “What do you mean another job?” He raised his voice again.  
“My shift at the club won't be enough for my tuition, so I need another job. If I work a little harder I'll be fine for this semester.” Richard explained and still sounded startled by Chris's angry expression.  
“Richard, you're not going back to that club. Don't even think about it.” Chris said, hoping this would be the end of this discussion.  
“Of course I'm going back. It's my job.” Now he sounded stubborn.  
“You don't need that job. Your tuition is taken care of.” He said. Chris had called his assistant yesterday and told her to take care of Richard's tuition issue.  
“Taken care of how?” Richard asked quietly. Probably about to get angry. But what the hell?  
“Listen, baby. I told you I'd help you with it, didn't I? I don't want you to go through what you did the other night.” Chris said softly.  
Richard exploded. “How could you do this? I don't want your money, Mr Schneider. I don't need it. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You had no right to do what you did.”  
It was Chris's turn to yell again. “What part of "I'm trying to help you" don't you understand? I'm worried about you for fuck’s sake. I can't stop thinking about what would have happened to you if I wasn't there that night.”  
They arrived at Richard's dorm and Chris stopped the car.  
“I don't need your help. It's my job, it's my life, and it's my.... me” Richard screamed at him and there were tears in his eyes.  
Chris was so angry, he didn't even think before yelling at Richard. “Oh, Jesus. Stop acting like such a fuckin child, Richard.”  
Richard gasped and stared at him with wide teary eyes, and the tears began rolling on his flushed cheeks. He looked hurt and betrayed. Chris realized the meaning of what he had just said. “No, no. I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I-” Before he could say anything else, Richard got out of the car, slammed the door and walked away.  
“Fuck.” Chris sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish writing the paper I'm supposed to be writing was as easy as writing this story. :\


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be three chapters, but y'll know how I lose it while writing.

Chris drove to work to deal with the mess in his finance department. It wasn't as huge of an issue as Till had described it, but it was still quite a pickle and Chris had a difficult time concentrating on the problem at hand since all he could think about was how terrible what he had said to Richard was. But he definitely wasn't going to back down from helping the kid with his tuition. He was so busy that day that he couldn't find even one minute to himself therefore he couldn't text or call Richard. It was 7:30 and he was still in his office two hours after everybody had left. He stared at his laptop and knew he wasn't able to function anymore. He shut it down and sighed in frustration. He left his office and drove to Richard's place to talk to him. He knocked on the door and after a few moments, Paul opened it and when he saw Chris, he rolled his eyes.  
“Yes?” The kid said rudely with a raised eyebrow.  
So, Richard had probably told him what had happened. “Good evening, Mr. Landers.” Chris said politely.  
“How do you know my last name?” The kid's eyes grew round. “I don't think Richard knows my last name.” He added suspiciously. This kid clearly had no manners.  
“Lucky guess.” Chris narrowed his eyes. It obviously wasn't the truth. He had checked to see who Richard's roommate was the day he met Paul, just to make sure Richard was safe with his roommate. “Is Richard in his room?” He asked, dryly.  
Paul looked at him for a moment. “No. He's out with his friend.”  
“Do you know when's he coming back?”  
“No, he took her out to dinner and a movie or something.” Paul replied.  
Well, this was unsettling. “I thought you guys were his only friends.”  
“She's from his hometown. She's here to visit Richard, and she's staying here with us.” Paul said with a vague devilish smile like he was enjoying torturing Chris.  
Chris knew he had to leave before he'd beat the bitchiness out of this kid. “I see. I'll come back. Goodbye, Mr. Landers.”  
He said and wanted to walk away when the kid spoke again. “What did you do to him?” He asked in an accusatory tone.  
“Excuse me?” Chris cocked an eyebrow.  
“I came home from work today, and he was in his room crying. I went in and saw that he had broken a bunch of stuff and ruined some of his drawings. Did you hurt him? I'll call the cops on you if you did.” He said threateningly.  
Wow, teenagers! Chris thought. “I didn't hurt him, and even if I had, don't you think threatening me with the cops would put you in danger as well? I mean… you have no leverage here, do you?” Chris asked and enjoyed the fear in the kid's demeanor. He really needed to be taught a lesson! But this was too far, so he smiled at the kid. “We just had a fight. No need to get all worked up.”  
“Ok, but I'm watching you!” Paul pointed a finger at him and quickly closed the door in Chris's face, and Chris heard him locking it. He snorted and shook his head. Then he remembered Richard and his “she friend” out to dinner and movies. Richard had told him he had no interest in women but Chris still found it extremely annoying. He knew Richard was going to work at that damn club tonight, so maybe he could talk some sense into him before his shift and convince him to stop working at that place.  
He went home, took a shower and made something to eat and at around midnight, drove to the club. He waited outside for ten minutes and chain smoked until he saw Richard walking up to club. He was wearing a red sweater and jeans. He was looking at his shoes while walking, so he couldn't see Chris. Chris put his cigarette out and walked to him.  
“Richard.” He called and Richard looked up. His hair was nicely done, and he had makeup on around his innocent blue eyes. Chris realized how much he had missed him!  
“I went to your apartment and you weren't there.” He said softly.  
“I'm late for work.” Was all Richard mumbled and attempted to walk away. Chris held his shoulders and didn't let him move.  
“I need to talk to you, Richard.” He said in his kindest tone.  
“Let me go, Mr. Schneider. I'm already late for my shift.” He was probably trying to sound demanding, but instead, he sounded intimidated and hurt.  
“Richard, baby, I don't want you to work in this place.” He said softly and gently rubbed Richard's tensed shoulders.  
“And I didn't want you to pay my tuition. But I guess since I can't stop acting like a- like a darn child, my feelings don't matter.” He said angrily and tears welled his eyes. Chris definitely didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the street.  
“Of course your feelings matter, sweetheart! Let's go back to my place and talk about it, ok? We're in the middle of the street.” He tried to keep his voice down.  
“I have to go to work, Mr. Schneider. Goodbye.” He said and sniffled, then, wriggled himself out of Chris's grip and ran inside the club.  
Chris stood there for a moment, trying to get a hold of his anger but of course, was unsuccessful. He walked into the hell hole and went straight to the bar, ordered a neat whiskey and downed it. He was in the middle of ordering the second one, when he heard someone. “Can I get that for you?” He turned his head and saw a guy, he was almost as tall as Chris and was wearing a pink tank top. The guy gave him a hopeful smile.  
“No, I got it.” He said, seriously.  
“Oooh, somebody's having a bad night. Need some help making it better?” He said in a flirtatious tone and licked his lips while glancing at Chris's crotch.  
“Not interested.” He said shortly and downed his second shot in one go.  
“You're not interested in fucking men?” The guy asked sarcastically.  
“Not at the moment. Now scamper off.” He said after putting down his third shot. The guy rolled his eyes and left. Chris looked around to see if he could spot Richard. He felt his blood boiling when he saw him up on a table dancing around a pole wearing the same loose tanktop and a bunch of guys were putting money in his glittery underwear while trying to cup a feel. There was a big bulge in his costume and Chris knew he was wearing his packer. Richard looked so unbelievably hot up there like that. Chris didn't want anyone else but himself to see Richard in that way. Richard danced through the whole song and after it was finished, he glanced across the room and then his eyes were locked with Chris's. His smile faded and his arms fell to the sides of his body. Chris just looked back at him with an expressionless face. The next song started and Richard was still motionless. People down at the table cheered for him to start dancing again, but he just shook his head and climbed off the table and disappeared into the crowd. Chris got up to follow him and froze when he found Richard giving someone a lap dance. The man had a filthy disgusting grin on his face while he was squeezing Richard's body. That was it for Chris. He walked to them and gripped Richard's arm hauling him up. Richard tripped but Chris got him in time so he wouldn't fall.  
“What the fuck?” The guy shouted at Chris.  
Chris ignored him and turned to Richard who was trying to free himself. “You're coming with me.” He glared at Richard.  
“I'm working. Leave me alone.” Richard tried to squirm away.  
“Is there a problem, Richard?” Chris turned to see who just spoke. The guy who Richard was just with, had come back with the bouncer of the club.  
“No, it's fine. He was just leaving.” Richard said while stubbornly staring into Chris's eyes. Chris let go of him. He had forgotten the rule of “no touching the dancers” in the club. He glared at Richard one last time and left. Chris stayed in his car and decided to wait for him. He couldn't keep watching Richard like that with other men. He was feeling so possessive and protective of the boy that it was difficult for him to believe. It was startling. Chris was mostly annoyed by himself. He thought it was pathetic to be so hung up on someone. But Richard wasn't just a someone! He stayed in his car, smoked and fumed for about two hours then his eyelids became heavy and he fell asleep.  
***  
Chris was startled out of sleep by a loud knock on the passenger side window. It was Richard! Chris unlocked the door and Richard got in. He put a fistful of crumpled bills on the dashboard. “This is four hundred.” He said quietly. “I'll get you the rest in ten days.” He added.  
“Richard, I don't want your money.” Chris said exasperatedly.  
“It's not mine. You paid my tuition, I'm paying you back.” He said and attempted to open the door. Chris was faster. He locked the doors, then pulled down the driver's window and gathered the bills Richard had discarded on the dashboard and threw them out.  
“Why did you do that?” Richard shouted angrily.  
“It was my money, wasn't it?” Chris shrugged. Richard stared at him in disbelief, then turned away again and tried to open the door.  
“Unlock the door, Mr. Schneider.” Richard whispered without turning to face him. Chris ignored him, started the car and drove.  
“I said let me go.” Richard raised his voice. “I'll scream if you don't.” He added. Chris turned to face him with a raised eyebrow.  
“The windows are soundproof and tinted. You can try, baby. No one will hear you.” Chris said in a very relaxed tone.  
“What do you want from me?” Richard asked, scared.  
“I want to talk to you.” Chris replied.  
“I don't wanna listen.” He said stubbornly.  
“Clearly.” Chris said.  
“Then let me go.” Richard shouted.  
Chris pulled over and stopped the car, then turned to face Richard. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. Tell me you hate me and don't want to be with me. Say it, and I'll drive you to your dorm and you'll never see me again. I promise.” He said and watched as Richard's eyes turned wide. He was breathing through his nose while staring into Chris's eyes. Chris wanted to just drown in the deep blue of Richard's innocent eyes.  
After the longest minute of Chris's life had passed, Richard blinked at him, turned his face away, and laid his head against the window. Chris could still hear his breathing. He felt the tension slowly leaving his own body as he started driving again. At least Richard didn't hate him. Chris drove to his loft in silence and parked his car. The elevator ride was in silence as well. Chris opened the door and they walked in.  
“Would you like to go freshen up? You can take a shower if you want.” Chris offered softly. He figured Richard was all sweaty and uncomfortable, also call him selfish but he hated smelling other men on Richard.  
Richard nodded, his head bowed down.  
“Ok, I'll get you some comfy clothes.”  
Richard nodded and walked into Chris's bedroom. Chris heard the shower running after a few minutes, and went to his room to get Richard the same clothes he had worn last time. Chris hadn't laundered them, they smelled like Richard. He had just folded them, put them in a separate drawer right next to Richard's red little thong. Chris changed into his sweatpants and went into the kitchen, barefoot and shirtless. It was four in the morning and he was making coffee. What a messy life! He lit up a cigarette and sipped on his coffee.  
He heard a small sound of clearing throat and turned around. Chris's clothes were too big on Richard, and it made him look like a baby. His damp blonde hair was messed up in his face. His pale skin was glowing from the aftereffects of showering and his cheeks were dusted pink and he was looking at his feet. He looked so domestic, and beautiful, and small. All Chris wanted to do was to protect him.  
“Are you hungry?” Chris asked him softly. He shook his head.  
“Would you like some orange juice? They're pulp free.” Chris smiled. Richard blushed and nodded. “Have a seat.” He said and pointed at the dinner table in the kitchen. Chris picked up a glass and poured some orange juice in it and put it in front of Richard.  
“Thank you.” Richard whispered and sipped his juice. Chris put out his cigarette and lit another one.  
“C-can I have one?” Richard asked quietly.  
“You smoke?” Chris raised both eyebrows.  
“Sometimes. Helps me stay big.” He whispered shyly.  
“You don't have to stay big when you're with me. But have one if it makes you feel more comfortable.” Chris said in a low voice and pushed the pack of cigarettes towards Richard.  
“I'm not comfortable when I'm big.” He pouted and hid his face behind his glass.  
“Do you have any idea how sorry I am for saying that to you this morning?” Chris asked in a very regretful tone.  
Richard shook his head.  
Chris sighed. “Very sorry. I wanted to call you all day but everything was crazy at the office and honestly? I didn't know how to apologize.”  
“I wouldn't have picked up if you'd called.” Richard said.  
“Do you hate me, Richard?” Chris asked.  
“I think we've established that I don't.” Richard replied quietly.  
“Do you think you can give me a second chance?” Chris asked, hopefully.  
Richard looked up at him. His blue eyes pinning Chris. “If you stop trying to pay my tuition, or meddle in my job like you did tonight, yes.” He replied.  
“What if I make you a deal?” Chris asked. He was toying with this idea all day.  
Richard looked at him questioningly.  
“I lend you the money for your tuition. You can pay me back with interest after your education finishes and you got a real job. This way, I'm not paying for you, and you can stop working at the club.” Chris said. Of course, he wasn't planning on making Richard pay him back, he just had to say that, so Richard would agree. “It'll be like I'm the bank, and you're getting a loan.”  
“So the bank is gonna be my boyfriend?” Richard asked with raised eyebrows.  
This was interesting. “Do you want the bank to be your boyfriend?” Chris asked and was very amused when Richard blushed.  
“D-Does the bank want to be my boyfriend?” He asked in a very shy and small tone.  
“No.” Chris replied with a devilish smile. Richard's face fell and he bowed his head down. Chris pulled his chair back, got up and went to kneel by Richard's chair. Richard turned his face and looked down at Chris, hurt.  
“I want to be your daddy.” Chris whispered. Richard's eyes turned wide and his lips curled into a smile. “Richard Kruspe, will you be my little?” Chris asked, took Richard's hand in his and kissed it. Richard stared at him, then slipped off the chair, knocked Chris down flat on the floor with a forceful hug and lay on top of him. “Yes, yes yes.” He shouted happily. Chris laughed and held him in his arms. Richard lifted his head and glanced at Chris's mouth, and they began kissing passionately.  
“Just promise you won't call me Mr. Schneider again.” Chris said after minutes of kissing him.  
Now, Richard had his head in the crook of Chris's neck. “Promise, daddy.” Richard mumbled and squeaked for him. Chris held his squeaky baby tight in his arms and let out a relieved breath he didn't know he was holding for days now.  
“We still have a lot to talk about, baby. But right now, you're very tired. Let's take you to bed. We can still get couple hours of sleep.” Chris whispered and kissed Richard's damp hair. Richard hummed in Chris's neck and attempted to get up. They brushed their teeth and cuddled up in bed.  
“Daddy?” Richard called sleepily.  
“Yes, baby?” Chris kissed his forehead.  
“I'm still gonna work at Starbucks.” He mumbled.  
Chris chuckled and kissed him again. “Baby, as long as you stay away from that club, and have enough time for your studies, you can have any job you like. But if it ever became too much, or it hurt your grades, you'll quit. Now go to sleep, sweetheart.” He said softly. Richard sighed, curled closer to him and went to sleep.  
***  
Three hours later, Chris woke up with the sound of his alarm and was relieved to see Richard was still in his arms, and he wasn't dreaming. He woke Richard up with gentle kisses on his face and whispered to him. “Time to wake up, little rainbow.”  
Richard groaned adorably and curled closer to Chris. “Noooo.” He mumbled.  
“Don't you have classes today?” Chris asked and littered kisses on Richard's neck.  
“Acting at 8.” Richard whined and opened his sleepy eyes.  
“What else?” Chris asked between kisses.  
“Painting at 10, history at 3.” He whined again and sounded more conscious now.  
“So you're free for lunch. You wanna come to my office and have lunch with daddy, sweetheart?” Chris asked softly.   
Richard perked up. “Really, daddy?”  
“Of course, little boy.” Chris smiled at him.  
“I'll come. And would you like to have dinner with me and Sophia?” Richard asked, hopefully and in a childish tone.  
“Is she one of your stuffies?” Chris asked, smiling.  
Richard giggled. “No, daddy. She's human. She's my old friend. She's here to visit me and do some other things.”  
Chris remembered Paul mentioning this friend. “I'd be honored to meet my baby's friend.” Chris said and Richard beamed up at him happily.  
They got up, and Chris fixed them a quick breakfast and then, drove Richard to his dorm, waited for him in the car so he could get his school stuff, and then drove him to his class. Richard kissed him before leaving the car and it melted Chris's heart. He went to the office that day very energetic and happy. It was a regular day and everything went fine. He told his secretary to clear his schedule for two hours because he was having a guest for lunch in his room. Then, texted Richard to see what he liked to eat.  
Chris: How's your day going, baby boy?  
Richard replied after ten seconds.  
Reeshy: Fabulous, daddy. Wook.   
Richard had sent him a selfie of himself next to a canvas. It was a beautiful colorful minimal painting, and Richard himself was grinning happily and had his nose tinted with some blue paint. Chris's heart fluttered at the photo.  
Chris: Aww, my little rainbow. That's beautiful. Daddy's proud.  
Reeshy: Thanks, daddy. The prof wikes it, too. How's your day?  
Chris: Good. I cleared my schedule for my pretty boy. What would you like to eat for lunch, sweetheart? It has to be something daddy likes, cuz after you eat, daddy's gonna eat YOU.  
Richard didn't reply for another five minutes, but then…  
Reeshy: Can Reeshy eat daddy, too?  
Chris raised his eyebrows. This was interesting. Richard was way less shy in his texts.  
Chris: If Reeshy is a good boy, he can.  
Reeshy: Reeshy good. Reeshy pwomis.  
Chris didn't send any more texts. He called Franc and told her to order steaks from Chris's favorite steak house. Also, gave her Richard's name and told her to send him in when he arrived.  
__________________  
Richard's stomach had hundreds of butterflies in it all day. He couldn't forget the moment Chris had asked him to be his little. Richard thought this was the best thing that had ever happened to him after his legal transition. After his class was finished, he hopped on the bus to go to Chris's office. He followed the map and finally found the right stop after getting lost three times! He looked up at the huge silver-colored building in Berlin’s industrial district. It had a very large sign on it in. Schneider Incorporated. Richard walked into the intimidating building and looked around. It was huge! Everything was extremely clean and white and grey. Everyone was in suits and formal dresses. Richard felt so out of place with his makeup and black nail Polish, wearing his jeans, and plaid shirt and converse and a small black earing. His denim backpack had a bunch of patches and stickers and little doodlings on it. Richard had decorated his backpack himself and was very proud of it, but now it felt awkward.  
“Can I help you?” Richard turned his head to the pretty lady at the info table.  
“Um… I'm here to see Mr. Schneider.” He said and tried to sound as adult as possible.  
“Which Mr. Schneider?” She asked.  
“Mr. Christoph Schneider from Schneider incorporated?” Richard said, like it was so obvious. He just wanted to see his daddy. The lady chuckled, and Richard couldn't help but pout.  
“Do you have an appointment?” The lady asked with a chuckle, obviously mocking Richard.  
“He's expecting me.” Richard said, overwhelmed. He didn't like conversations with strangers, especially when they were mocking him.  
She laughed again. “Oh, I'm sure he does. What could he possibly want with a sissy little schoolboy?”  
Richard would totally shout ‘he's my daddy’ but the adult in him said it wasn't a good idea. He just stared at the lady wishing he had laser eyes.  
“Just get out before I call security, you weirdo.” She frowned at Richard.  
Richard turned around and reached for his phone to text Chris, but Chris was already calling him. Richard answered.  
“Baby, where are you?” Chris said, worriedly.  
“I'm at the front desk, Mr. Schneider. But they won't let me see you because I'm a sissy weirdo who doesn't have an appointment.” Richard said, and pouted. He knew telling on people was a very bad thing to do, but those exact two words were Richard's weak spots. He had been called sissy and weirdo enough in his life to not be able to handle it anymore.  
“Stay there.” Chris said and hung up.  
He turned to face the lady again. She was looking back at Richard with a frown and looked like she didn't know whether to believe him or not.  
“Nice try.” or not! Richard didn't reply and walked away from her desk and looked around for a few minutes.  
“Richard?” Chris put a hand on Richard's back. Daddy was there. Richard wanted to hug him but refrained.  
“Who called you those words?” Chris asked, angrily.  
“Nobody, daddy. It's ok now. You're here.” Richard said, because he had just looked over Chris's shoulder and saw the lady staring at him with a horrified expression, and Richard didn't want to get her in trouble.  
Chris looked back in Richard's eye direction. “Her?” He asked but he was already walking to her desk with his intimidating haze. Richard ran after him.  
“Who's your supervisor?” Chris asked the lady, angrily.  
“Sir, I'm sorry. I didn't have any appointments for you listed here for the next few hours so I thought-”  
“So you thought you call him names?” Chris asked, disgustedly. Then, he turned to Richard. “The elevator is there. Wait for me, and I'll join you in a minute.” Chris ordered Richard in a softer tone, but he still looked angry. Richard was too frightened to argue, he just walked to where Chris had pointed and waited by one of the giant elevators. Chris was out of his sight now, so Richard just scolded himself for telling on the lady. He stood in a corner and tried to make himself invisible, but the plaid red and black shirt wasn't any help when everyone else in that place was in dark colors. Finally, he saw Chris approaching him still angry. He hit the elevator button and they waited in silence. After a few seconds, they were alone in the giant cube going up to the 20th floor.  
“Daddy, what did you do?” Richard asked in a small voice.  
“I fired her.” Chris said without looking at Richard.  
Richard gasped. “No, no. Please, I shouldn't have told on her. Please don't fire people.” He pleaded, about to cry. Why did he always cause problems?  
“I've heard complaints about the front desk before. I don't want any fuckin Nazis in my company.” He said angrily. Richard took one step toward him and tentatively wrapped his arms around Chris's waist hoping he wouldn't get pushed away. When Chris enveloped him tightly in his arms, Richard relaxed and melted against him. “I sowy, daddy.”  
Chris kissed the top of Richard's head. “It wasn't your fault, baby boy. I'm sorry it happened to you.” He sounded kind again.  
“I dress normal next time. I pwomise, daddy.” He mumbled, and tucked his head under Chris's chin.  
Chris pulled away from him and frowned. “I don't want you to say that ever again, Richard. You will always wear whatever you feel like wearing. If people don't like it, that's their problem. Am I clear?” He said seriously. The elevator rang and stopped before Richard could say anything. They walked into an even more fancy office area and Richard saw another desk with another lady behind it. She stood up when she saw them. “Is everything ok, sir? They called me from HR regarding you firing someone.” She said with a neutral expression.  
“We'll talk about it later, Francis. This is Richard Kruspe. Richard, this is Francis Nehm, my personal assistant.” Chris introduced them.  
Richard blushed. He really was uncomfortable, but the lady smiled at him kindly and didn't give him any weird looks. “Hello, Mr. Kruspe. Nice meeting you.”  
“Hello, ma'am. Um… you, too.” Richard said. This was the best of his socializing abilities.  
She smiled at him again, and turned to Chris. “Sir, your lunch arrived. It's in your office.”  
“Thank you, Francis.” Chris said to her, and put a hand on Richard's back. “Let's go, sweetie.” Richard was sure he couldn't get redder than that. Chris lead him into another office. It was a gigantic room, and one of the walls was made of glass with a view of the entire city. A large couch and couple of armchairs, a big white desk, and a drink stand in the corner with fancy drinks and glasses on it. Richard looked around, mesmerized by the view of the city.  
“Come here.” Before Richard could register more, Chris was in front of him hoisting him up in his arms. Richard giggled and wrapped his legs around Chris's waist and then, they were kissing. Chris walked to the couch and carefully sat down with Richard straddling his lap. They kissed for a while and Richard hummed and moaned into daddy's mouth. Chris took Richard's backpack off him and gently pulled away. “Are you hungry, baby?” He asked.  
Richard leaned into him again. “For daddy.” He mumbled and attempted to kiss Chris again. He had been thinking about this since the time Chris ate him up. He hadn't really sucked a cock before, but after experiencing daddy inside him, he was very eager to try but was too shy to ask for it, and today while texting Chris, he finally built up the courage. He pulled his mouth away from Chris and carefully slipped himself off his lap and knelt on the floor between Chris's legs, and looked up.  
“Are you sure you want this, baby?” He asked and fondled Richard's face. Richard closed his eyes, tilted his head to the touch and nodded.  
“Have you ever done it, sweetheart?”  
Richard shook his head. Chris bent and kissed Richard's forehead. “Have you been a good boy today?” He asked.  
“Vewy good, daddy.” He said and blinked up.  
“Hmm… a good boy is wet for his daddy. Are you wet now, little rainbow?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow.  
Richard was tingly and needy all day. He blushed and nodded. “Show daddy.” Chris ordered. Richard swallowed, and unbuttoned his jeans, reached into his panties and touched himself. He was so wet it was embarrassing. His fingers against his needy clit felt so good that he had a hard time removing them. But he did, and showed daddy his wet sticky fingers. Chris took Richard's hand and leaned his head in, and took the tip of Richard's fingers in his mouth and lightly sucked them while keeping the eye contact. Richard stared at him, utterly embarrassed.  
“Well, you deserve a reward for being so delicious, don't you, little boy?” Chris asked and opened his buckle. Richard nodded, eyes wide and mouth open. He looked down at Chris's crotch and waited. Chris brought his cock out and it was a little hard. Richard stared at it. He had never been so close to it. Of course, it had been inside him, but seeing it up close was another story. Richard spread his knees involuntarily and let out a small squeak.  
“Here you go, baby. All yours to play with.” Chris whispered and fondled Richard's hair.  
“I…- How?” He asked, unsure.  
“No, no, sweetie. I won't tell you what to do. I want you to find your own way. Just don't use any teeth. That'll hurt daddy.” Chris told him.  
Richard stared at the large member, and embarrassingly enough, felt his mouth watering. “C-can I touch it, daddy?” He asked.  
“Do whatever you feel like doing, baby.” He replied kindly and played with Richard's hair. Richard swallowed and reached one finger and touched the side of it. Nothing happened. He nuzzled his fingertips to it. The skin was soft, so he dared and touched it with his palm. He slowly held it and suddenly it slightly twitched in his grip. Richard gasped and let go. He looked up at daddy with a fascinated expression. “Dijo do that, daddy?” He asked, and remembered feeling this twitch inside himself when daddy was in him.  
The expression on Chris's face was strange. He was smiling at Richard so kindly and broad. Richard liked that expression. “No, baby. I'm not doing anything.”  
Richard nodded and held it in his hand again. He fondled it and it twitched again and slightly hardened. Richard gasped but this time didn't let go. It was as if it was waking up in Richard's hand. Richard smiled and tightened his grip on it and moved his hand a little. It hardened even more, and enlarged. It was fascinating! And very fun. Plus, daddy's breathing was beginning to deepen. It twitched again, and Richard looked up at daddy. “It wikes me, daddy. Wook.” He said happily and repeated his action again.  
“Of course, it likes you, baby.” Chris smiled at him, but his eyes were glassy with lust. So, Richard decided to pleasure daddy. He leaned his head in and held the now very hard cock in his grip, and stuck his tongue out a little, and touched the head with his tongue. Daddy gasped. Richard repeated his action again intensified it. He gave the rest of the length small kitty cat licks and daddy's grip tightened in Richard's hair. Richard took a deep breath and opened his mouth to take the head in. It felt strange in his mouth. Hard, hot, but soft. Richard loved it! He covered his teeth and sucked the tip just like he would sometimes suck his own thumb. But a big thumb. A very thick thumb. Daddy was now breathing in and out and he hissed when Richard sucked the tip hard. Richard quickly let go and looked up with worry. “Hurt, daddy?”  
“No, baby. You're doing great.” Daddy told him in a hoarse voice. Richard smiled and took it into his mouth again. He remembered how girls at his high school talked about deep throating their boyfriends and how important of a skill it was for them. Richard opened his mouth wider and took more of it. It reached the start of his throat and daddy hissed again. Richard tried to bob his head and each time, taking a little bit more until it suddenly hit the back of his throat and made him gag. He let go and coughed. His saliva hung from his chin and wetted there. “Baby, are you ok? You don't have to take more now. It's your first time.” Chris said, worriedly while fondling Richard's hair.  
“I can, daddy.” He said and stubbornly went back to keep doing it. He did it again and realized he could control his throat. He could slightly tighten it and stop himself from gagging, and apparently, daddy liked it too, because he was panting now. Richard enjoyed making daddy pant, he felt powerful. He took the base in his hand and bobbed his head faster. “You're doing amazing, baby boy. Daddy's very proud of you.” Chris hissed and the praise sent a strong wave of pleasure down Richard's spine and made his guts clench. Richard moaned from the feeling and so desperately wanted to be touched, but he wanted to concentrate only on daddy. Daddy had been very patient with him. Richard bobbed his head faster and took more of daddy down his throat and it was so pleasurable that he couldn't stop whining and moaning around it. Then after a few minutes, it suddenly jerked in his mouth and he felt something hot ejaculated in his mouth and heard daddy's intense panting. He sucked harder and felt the liquid on his lips.  
“Baby, don't swallow it. Hold it in your mouth.” Daddy panted out, and Richard obeyed. He looked up and closed his mouth to keep the bittersweet liquid in there. He could feel some of it already smeared on his lips and chin.  
“Open your mouth.” Daddy ordered.  
Richard blinked and opened his mouth. Daddy looked into his mouth with a dark expression which made Richard's pussy twitch and clench. Chris reached with his hand and rubbed a thumb over Richard's dirty chin. “Swallow, baby.” Richard closed his mouth and swallowed then opened his lips again when daddy touched them with his thumb. He rubbed his thumb against Richard's tongue and Richard sucked it. Richard glanced at daddy's cock. It was still dirty with his cum. Richard leaned in and licked it clean. He decided he loved doing that. It was fun and exciting and it made daddy proud which made Richard tingly.  
Chris leaned in and began kissing Richard's mouth so eagerly. Richard touched Chris's cock again, and it slightly twitched. Richard giggled into the kiss. Chris pulled away and looked into his eyes. “What's funny, baby?”  
“Can I do that every day, daddy?” He asked and bit his lips with a shy smile.  
Chris made a face like he was considering it. “I don't know, rainbow. Your daily to-do list is getting pretty long.”  
________________  
Richard blushed. Of course, he would. His first response to everything was blushing and Chris loved it. Richard had somehow managed to take something as dirty and as hot as a blowjob and turn into the cutest activity in the world. A cute blowjob! Chris thought. The way Richard did it, just made it even hotter and gave Chris an amazing orgasm. Time to reward his baby. Chris helped Richard up and pulled his pants down before pulling him into his lap.  
“Stay on your knees, baby.” Chris ordered and reached between Richard's legs and touched him there. Richard hummed and a shudder ran through him.  
“So sweet” Chris whispered and began rubbing three fingers against Richard's clit. Richard leaned in and laid his forehead against Chris's. The poor thing was leaking. Chris rubbed his clit harder and faster and cupped him in his palm, pushing one finger inside him. He thrust his finger hard and fast while his palm slapped against Richard's clit. Richard pushed his hips forward and whined quietly. He panted and ground his hips. He moaned loud and Chris felt Richard's extremely hot insides tightening around his finger. Richard's whole body was shaking then, he dug his nails into Chris's shoulders and he came. Chris kept playing with his clit until Richard was a quivering mess. Chris removed his hand and helped Richard move his legs around until he was curled up in Chris's lap clutching to Chris's tie trying to get his breathing under control.  
“Daddy?” He whispered in Chris's chest.  
“What is it, rainbow?” Chris asked softly and held him closer.  
“I wuv you.” Richard mumbled in his chest. Chris's eyes snapped up in shock. He really didn't expect that. He felt his heartbeat raising up in his chest, about to explode. The thing about being in your thirties was that saying “I love you” wasn't that easy, because it meant something huge and committing. Chris wasn't sure if it was the same for Richard. He was only eighteen. How easy it was to say the L word when you're still in your teens? Of course, Chris hadn't really said that to anyone. He always loved his work, and the concept of loving a romantic partner as to being in love with them was kind of strange for him.  
Before Chris could come up with an answer, Richard moved and crawled off his lap. “What happened, baby?” Chris asked, in distress. What if Richard would leave him now for not getting a reply?  
“Tinkle, daddy.” Richard said in his normal childish tone, pulled his pants up and looked expectantly at Chris. “Where?” He asked.  
“Ah, the bathroom is over there, baby.” He said and pointed at the narrow hallway in the corner of his office. Richard walked away and when he shut the door behind himself, Chris let out a breath. He got up, zipped his pants back up and buckled his belt. Their lunch was on Chris's desk in closed containers. After Richard was back, they had lunch and Richard was being so chatty, it took the awkwardness away. He told Chris all about his day. The smallest details, and his own interpretation of them. All in his adorable little language. He was so imaginative, it was fascinating to listen to him. He could make up long and interesting stories about the most boring things. Chris laughed so hard at Richard's different impressions of his professors, that he thought he might choke on his food. At around 2:30, Richard said he had to get to his class and he gave Chris the address of the restaurant they were supposed to have dinner at with his friend. When Richard went to the bathroom to clean up, Chris's phone rang. “Francis?”  
“Sir, Mr. Lindemann wants to see you.”  
“Ok, send him in.”  
After five seconds, the door opened and Till entered. “Francis said you had a guest. And that you fired someone. What's happened?” Till asked.  
Before Chris could reply, Richard got out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks when he saw Till. Till raised an eyebrow and looked at Richard, his eyes fixated on the hickeys on Richard's neck, then at Chris. “Till, this is Richard Kruspe, Richard this is Till Lindemann. My partner and friend.” He introduced them and signaled at Till to be nice.  
“He-hello, sir.” Richard said with a scared expression, he didn't move. Just blushed.  
“Hello, young man. Nice to finally see you.” Till said and made a face at Chris. Chris had told Till he met someone, but nothing more.  
“You, too, sir. I-I have to go to school. Um… see you, Mr. Schneider.” Richard said in a quiet and shy voice and picked up his backpack.  
“SCHOOL?” Till almost shouted.  
“University, Till. Richard is an art freshman.” He rolled his eyes at Till. Then, faced Richard. “Baby, my driver will take you back to school. Francis is going to take you downstairs. I'll see you tonight, ok?” He said and walked to Richard who was flushed and looking down. Chris kissed his forehead, and took him out of the office to Francis. Then came back.  
“What the fuck you doing hanging around an underaged kid?” Till yelled the second Chris shut the door.  
“Oh, calm down, Till. I told you he's in university. He's eighteen.” Chris said calmly.  
“Whatever. You've never brought your boy toys in the office. What's gotten into you?”  
“He's not my boy toy, Till. For fucks sake. And I can bring whomever I want in my office.”  
“Is he, like, your boyfriend?” Till asked, hesitantly.  
“Something like that.” Chris shrugged.  
“Tell me, Chris. How old are you?” Till asked. Mock wondered.  
“Oh, fuck off.” Chris hissed at his best friend.  
“No, no. I have a point. Please tell me your age.” Till said in a comical tone.  
Chris snorted. “Thirty-one. What's your point?”  
“Now, please swap the numbers.” Till said.  
“Thirteen.” Chris rolled his eyes.  
“This is the age you were when this kid was born. You were already masturbating when he was born.” Till said in a mocking tone and just let go and laughed. He dodged when Chris threw a pen at him. “Fuck you, Lindemann.” He said and they both laughed. Till had supported Chris through some seriously wrong life choices. Chris hoped Richard wouldn't become one of them. But he knew he would have his best friend's support regardless of everything.  
Chris stayed in his office until six, then went back home to take a shower and get ready. Richard had called him and after apologizing three hundred times, told him he got stuck at Starbucks with Paul because the manager wanted to whip up a contract before he'd start working there on Saturday. He asked Chris to meet his friend at the restaurant and wait for him, and promised to be there ASAP. Chris agreed and assured Richard that it was alright with him.  
Chris arrived at the restaurant at 8 and looked for a table with an eighteen-year-old girl at it, but there was none. Before he could call Richard, someone called his name. “Mr. Schneider?” He turned around and saw a woman a few years older than himself. She was wearing a formal blue dress, and had shoulder length black hair.  
“Yes?”  
“Sophia Wagner. Nice to meet you.” She said and held out her hand.  
Surprised, Chris shook her hand. “Oh, are you Richard's… friend?”  
“He calls me his old friend. I'm his psychiatrist, actually.” She smiled.  
Chris suppressed his shocked expression and smiled politely. “Oh, it's very nice to meet you, Ms. Wagner.”  
“Sophia. Please. You too. I've heard a lot about you, I feel like I know you. Our table is over there. He sent me a photo of you so I could recognize you.” She said, and they walked to a table and sat down.  
“I hope you've heard good things.” Chris smiled.  
“Ah,,, yes, of course.” She said. They ordered drinks and Chris asked her. “So you were Richard's psychiatrist when he wanted to start his transition?”  
“Yes . We had sessions until two days before he left for Berlin. They're not sessions anymore, to be honest. I find it a privilege to listen to Richard. So in a sense, I'm not his psychiatrist anymore. Just a friend.” She replied.  
“It is a privilege to listen to Richard. He's a very bright boy.” Chris said.  
She smiled. “So he has charmed you, too, huh?”  
“Pretty much.” Chris chuckled.  
“Yes, he does that to the people around him. As long as he manages to actually communicate with them.” She said.  
“He's very shy.” Chris commented.  
“Yes, very. By the way, what is it that you do for a living? He said something that I didn't quite understand.” She asked.  
“My company produces microchips and other electronic pieces. We fabricate them, and sell them to companies who produce market products. Phones, TVs, computers.” He explained.  
“Ahhh, now it makes sense. He told me you and your friend build little electrons and sell them.” She said, and Chris burst out into laughter.  
“He asked me what I've studied. I told him microelectronics. That's probably where little electron is coming from.” Chris said, still laughing.  
“That must be interesting, and profiting. Given the fact that you are now paying for Richard's tuition.” She said.  
“I'm lending him the money. He wasn't making very good choices regarding ways to earn money.” Chris became serious.  
“Oh, don't get me wrong, Mr. Schneider. I have no complaints about him quitting that club. I also know that you're not lending him the money. You're giving it to him.” She smiled knowingly.  
Chris shrugged his chin. “Anything that'll keep him safe.”  
She smiled. “So what was Richard like when he was a kid?” Chris asked.  
“I met him when he was thirteen. I asked his late mother the same question only about when he was little, and I'll give you the same answer she gave me: Just like he is now.” She replied. “He's not one bit different than when I met him. I suppose the concept of growing up is lost in his vocabulary.” She smiled.  
“He's still very young. I'm sure he'll grow up when it's time.” Chris said.  
“Don't be so sure, Mr. Schneider. It's not a bad thing, necessarily. He has a very pure heart. Did you know he was a volunteer at our city's orphanage for five years? Little kids were in love with him. He taught them painting, and playing guitar, he played with them for hours, sang with them, told them made up stories. He would buy them presents with his lunch money.” She said and smiled affectionately.  
Chris's heart melted at the thought of a fifteen-year-old Richard singing to little kids. “I did not know that.” He replied in a voice full of emotions. “He's a good person.” Chris added.  
“Oh, he's an angel. Wait until he tells you about his bear. You'll die.” She laughed.  
“The one that transitioned with him?” Chris smiled.  
Sophia's eyes grew round and her smile fell. “He told you that?”  
“Yes, why?”  
“He has never told anyone about that before. He considers it to be his biggest secret. He didn't even tell about that to his mother!” She said. “Mr. Schneider, how serious are you about Richard?” She frowned.  
“What do you mean how serious?” Chris asked.  
“I don't want to scare you, Mr. Schneider. But Richard is a very special kid. I've never seen him this way with anyone. Of course, he's too inexperienced in the field of relationships, but still. He's completely enchanted by you. If you have any intentions of leaving him, please do so now that it's not still too late. That kid cannot afford another broken heart after his mother.” She said very seriously. Chris could see it in her eyes, she loved Richard like a son.  
“I have no intentions of leaving him, Ms. Wagner.” He replied. “I'm just getting to know him, and I deeply care about him.” He added. “I promise you, he's safe with me.”  
“I'm sure he is, Mr. Schneider.” She said. After that, she changed the topic. They had finished their second glass of wine when Richard arrived. His cheeks and nose were flushed with the cold, and he was shivering. “Hi.” He said. Chris got up and kissed him, and helped him take his jacket and scarf off.  
“Thanks, daddy. It's so cold.” He said, surprised like it wasn't supposed to be cold. Chris wasn't sure if Richard had just called him that out of habit or not, but Sophia's expression did not change.  
“Honey, it's almost November. Of course, it's cold.” Sophia said when Richard leaned and kissed her cheek.  
“You smell like coffee, Richard.” Chris told him with a smile.  
“Yeah, Paul tried to teach me some barista stuff. For now, it's gonna be a paid internship. They teach me everything and probably around next month, I'll be hired.” He explained happily.  
“That's great, Richard. Now at least you can get a decent sleep at night instead of getting groped.” Sophia said and sounded exasperated.  
Richard blushed, and looked at Sophia with a “why would you say that” expression. Sophia shrugged her eyebrows and Richard made a face at her. The waiter brought them menus and after ordering, they listened to Richard talk about his day. He skipped the part about the office sex, and just talked about having lunch with daddy in his office. Then, gave Chris a shy glance. Sophia, of course, didn't miss the glance but did not comment or showed any signs of understanding. After dinner, Chris drove Sophia to Richard's dorm and told Richard to go up and get his stuff for tomorrow. They said goodnight to Sophia and Chris drove them back to his apartment. When they were in the car, Richard giggled devilishly and told Chris that Sophia had had no idea that Richard would still get groped every night, but it'd be daddy groping him so it was alright.  
He was finally in bed with Richard who was wearing his t-shirt without the binder. He made sweet and slow love to Richard who was being extra little and clingy that night. After they were done, Chris removed the condom and took Richard in his arms. Richard clung to him and kept making quiet noises in Chris's neck.  
“Daddy wants to talk to you, rainbow.” Chris whispered and kissed Richard's hair.  
“Wif cuddles?” He mumbled.  
“Of course, sweetie. But I need you to answer some questions daddy has.” Chris held him tighter.  
“M’kay.”  
“Do you want me to be your daddy only when we're in bed, or do you want it this way all the time?” Chris asked softly.  
Richard lifted his head and looked into Chris's eyes with his innocent gaze. “Woways, daddy. You?”  
“Me, too, baby. Always.” Chris smiled at him and pinched his nose.  
“Ok, now that this one is settled, tell me something, baby. Would you like daddy to be inside you with nothing between us? No condoms.” He asked in a low voice.  
“But-but I get babies in me, daddy.” He said shyly.  
“I know that, sweetheart. I'm not gonna give you babies. Don't worry. You're the only little person I need.” Chris chuckled and kissed Richard's mouth.  
“Baby, do you know if you can take contraceptive pills?”  
“Dunno, daddy.” He replied. “Doctor knows.” He added.  
“Would you want to take them if the doctor says it's ok?” Chris asked softly. Richard nodded eagerly.  
“Ok, baby boy. Daddy will take you to a doctor as soon as possible.”  
“Daddy?” He called with a small voice.  
“Yes, baby?”  
“Can I be baby girl now?” He asked quietly.  
Chris pulled away from him to look into his eyes. He looked so vulnerable and open and beautiful. “Of course, you can, my pretty princess.” Chris replied softly and kissed his forehead. Richard suddenly climbed on top of Chris and lay on him. Their naked bodies lined up. Chris breathed him in and held him tight.  
“Is there any way daddy can know when you want to be his baby girl?” Chris asked. He really wanted to understand the depth of Richard's identity so he wouldn't accidentally say something or do something that could hurt his feelings. One time was enough!  
Richard lifted his head and looked down at Chris, and replied in a more adult tone, but his voice was still childlike and mumbly. “Sometimes, even I can't tell. I get frustrated and angry when I can't tell what's happening. B-but most months when Rosy gets sick, Reeshy stays away and it's all Rosy.”  
Chris frowned in confusion. “What do you mean when Rosy gets-.... Ah.” Chris stopped talking mid-sentence because he realized Richard was talking about his period. “Is my little Rosy sick now?” Chris asked but already knowing the answer.  
Richard shook his head sleepily. “There's still a few days left, daddy.”  
“Baby, isn't testosterone supposed to stop that from happening?” Chris asked softly.   
“Doctor said it will. But after about nine months. Now I still get them sometimes.” Richard mumbled.   
“Ok, baby girl, thanks for answering daddy's questions. What do you say we get some sleep now?”  
Richard nodded into Chris's neck. Chris rolled on his side still holding Richard to himself, and cuddled him close. “Goodnight, princess.”  
“Night night, daddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is totally appreciated since the topic is new.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy.

Richard was dreaming, or at least he thought he was because only a dream could feel this heavenly. He was a puddle of raw pleasure. He was in ecstasy. There was this mind-numbing wet feeling of getting blown away like a dandelion in the spring. The source of it was right there in his core seeping through the rest of his body. He tried to make a noise and share the pleasure with the world outside of him because it felt just too good and too real. Could a dream feel so real? He felt his insides clenching and his eyes snapped open as he was pushed over the edge and fell down into the depth of his little space. He thought he was in little’s heaven. He could finally feel the rest of his physical body zinging with pleasure. He was in bed on his back with his legs spread wide. He looked down and saw daddy between his legs eating him out. Daddy crawled on top of him and without saying a word began kissing him. He pushed his latex-covered flesh inside of Richard and Richard wished there was nothing between them. He didn't want anything between this man and himself. No barriers, no secrets, no unfamiliarity. Daddy held Richard's wrists and put them above Richard's head holding them there with a strong grip. Richard loved the feel of vulnerability and fragility that he had around this man. He wrapped his legs around him and gave in. Let loose. He had never been so loose around anyone in his life before. He just moaned and let the world around him know how good daddy could make him feel. He felt the man's wet lips on his neck marking him. He loved the marks. People could see them but only Richard and Chris knew how it felt when the bruises came up. Richard felt the familiar twitch of daddy's cock inside himself and knew another built of raw orgasm was close. He whimpered as daddy bit into his neck and went still inside him. They came together at the same time, and Richard had never been so nakedly connected to someone. He let his legs fall onto the bed and tried to breathe calmly and bear daddy's dead weight on top of him.   
“Good morning, baby.” Daddy whispered in his ear.  
“Ornin’, dada.” He mumbled.  
Daddy pulled out of him and made him whimper, then lay next to him and held him in his arms. “Sorry, baby. Did that hurt you, sweetheart?”  
Richard didn't know how to tell him that. He curled to daddy's side and quietly whined. “hurt whem you weave, dada.”  
“I'm sorry, little prince. I had to take the condom off. Once I don't have to wear it anymore, daddy will stay inside you for as long as you like.” Chris whispered to him and kissed his hair. Richard purred and curled closer to him. He had no idea what time it was but couldn't care less.  
“Baby, we have one hour until we have to leave. Let's go shower.” Chris said and helped Richard up.  
They showered separately again, which Richard absolutely hated but also couldn't handle letting Chris see his chest yet. After they were both showered and Richard was already in his chest binder, Chris began dressing him. Richard leaned into him.   
“You ok, sweetheart?” He asked quietly.  
“Hmm.”  
“Do you have free time today, baby? I texted Francis to find you a good gynecologist.”  
Richard jerked his head up anxiously. “She knows about me?”  
“I didn't tell her it was for you. But would it be a problem if I did?” Chris asked and buttoned Richard's jeans.   
“I dunno. I feel weird when people know about me. It's like they look at me differently.” He replied shyly.  
Chris made Richard look at him. “First of all, it's no one's business, baby. Secondly, Francis is not that kind of person. She's been working for me for three years now. I trust her. She's a good person.”  
“m’kay.”  
“Hey, look at me, Reeshy.” He whispered and took Richard's face in his hands. “Are you listening to daddy?” He asked seriously. Richard nodded. “What you have between your legs, does not define you. I want you to believe that. I know you've been through a lot because of it, but I won't let bad things happen to you anymore, sweetheart. I promise.” He said softly. Richard looked into his eyes and saw nothing but strong sincerity and care and… love? He had told Chris yesterday that he loved him but didn't hear anything back and that hurt a lot. But Chris's actions and words were full of care and acceptance, and Richard couldn't allow himself to ask for more.  
He nodded. “Thank you, daddy.”  
“Do your friends know?” He asked.  
“Only Paul and Nikki. When I told Paul, he said he and Nikki already knew.”  
“What about your friends back home?” Chris asked softly.  
Richard swallowed before replying. “I don't have friends back home. Just the kids at the orphanage that I used to be a volunteer at, but they were too little to care about my gender so we were cool.But people at my high school knew.”  
“How did they react?” Chris asked him with knotted eyebrows.  
Richard looked down. “I- I don't… it's just too dramatic. I don't want to ruin your day with it. Not important.” He said and tried to free himself from Chris's arms, but he held Richard's shoulders.  
“Hey… I want to know. I really do, but if you want to keep it a secret, that's fine, baby. It's your past, you don't have to share it with me if you don't want to.” He said softly.  
Richard's eyes snapped up. “I don't want any secrets between us.”  
“Neither do I, sweetheart.” He said.  
Richard sighed. “Before coming out, I had a hard time during gym classes. Girls were too uncomfortable around me because I looked like a boy. They all thought I was a lesbian so they told their parents and their parents told the gym teacher, and she didn't let me go swimming during pool days anymore. It sucked because I love swimming, and I'm good at it, too. It was a small city and people were just too uneducated about these things. And I was just a kid, and didn't really know that much about myself. I just knew that I wanted to be a boy. Other students kept making fun of me and giving me a hard time. Name calling, taking my stuff away, writing things on my locker. When I came out and Sophia diagnosed me with gender dysphoria, she spoke to my teachers, and told them they needed to start using male pronouns and my male name to address me. She explained everything to them and they agreed. Then I realized the hell I was gonna be put through. The students still recognized me as a girl, and treated me like a freak. All those bullying and name calling from before, just got more horrible. The other boys would take all my clothes away during showers after gym classes, so I had to wait in the locker naked with a towel until the teacher would make them give me my clothes back. I couldn't even tell my mama about it. She was too sick, and in 24/7 bed rest, but she was happy for me so I didn't burst her bubble. Every day after school, I just wanted to snuggle to my mama, but she was in so much pain and couldn't hold me like she always did. I tried my best to take care of her, but I had terrible depression and anxiety and couldn't stop crying when she wasn't looking. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was when I was little. Just me and mama.” Richard trailed off and tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it was impossible. His tears fell down his cheeks and he didn't want to look up at Chris, but he could hear his angry deep breathing. He gasped when Chris suddenly crushed him in his arms.Richard was stiff as a board and he stopped trying to hold back his tears.  
Chris gently pulled away from him and made Richard look up at him. Chris's eyes were red and he looked so angry that it scared Richard. “I will never… ever let anything like that happen to you under my watch. I promise you that I will protect you, Richard, but I need you to promise me something, as well.”  
Richard looked at him, Reassured.  
“I want you to tell me if anything like that ever happened when I wasn't around. This is not called telling on people, sweetheart. I'm asking you to tell me. I also want you to promise me that you will let me know whenever you had any kind of bad thoughts. I'm here for you, no matter what time it is, no matter what place we're at.” He said seriously. Richard stared back at him for a few seconds. His tears fell again as he pushed himself into Chris's chest and was hugged tightly. He had never felt so supported before. He knew his mom would support him if she knew what Richard was going through in school everyday, but he could never bring himself to tell her about any of that during her sickness. He relaxed against Chris and felt so small and little again. “Pwomise, daddy.” He mumbled.  
Chris was late again for work that morning, but he still insisted on driving Richard to class and told him he'd let him know about the doctor's appointment. Richard had music lessons that day. He loved playing his guitar. His mom bought it for him on their trip to Prague when Richard was fourteen. He also got to see Paul that day since their class was being held at the music department. He and Paul were becoming really good friends, and Richard liked Nikki so much. He also liked Ollie and Emma and it got him thinking that maybe it was time to come out to those two as well. They seemed very nice and were very kind and friendly towards Richard.  
Chris texted him and told him that he got him an appointment during Richard's free period that day. He said he'd pick Richard up at 11. Richard was finished with his class and walked out of the building and saw daddy waiting for him in his car.  
“How's my sweet boy?” He asked after kissing Richard.  
“Fine, daddy. How are you?”  
“A little hungry. We'll get lunch after your appointment. Do you want me to come in with you or do you prefer to go in there alone?” He asked kindly.  
“No, daddy. Not alone. I don't like doctor's offices.” He replied nervously.  
“Why not, sweetheart?”  
“I went to a gynecologist by myself at my city once before my transition, she kept calling me Miss, and I couldn't correct him. So I didn't go to a gyno anymore.” He replied quietly.  
Chris looked at him with a frown. “Are you telling me that you've never been tested after the first time you had sex? For anything?” Richard shook his head no.  
“Ok, we'll ask the doctor to examine you, just to be sure. Don't worry, baby.” He said kindly.  
“I'm not sick. I don't need tests.” Richard replied in a louder voice than he had intended.  
“Sweetheart, I didn't say you were sick. It's just a precaution. You've had sex before me, right? It's necessary to take some tests after the first time you've had sex. Have you heard of pap test?” He asked.  
Richard blushed madly. He nodded. “I can't take that test.” He said silently.  
“Why not? It's not a big de-”  
“My insurance doesn't cover it.” Richard cut into daddy's words.  
“All companies cover these kinds of tests.” Chris said, confused.  
“They don't when you're a man. I can take a free prostate exam. Problem is… that I don't have a prostate.” He said in a low voice and blushed while playing with his fingers.  
“That's bullshit!” Chris said angrily and Richard glanced at him. “I'm not lying to you, daddy.”  
Chris took Richard's hand, kissed it and laced their fingers together putting their joined hands on his thigh. “I know, baby. I didn't say you were. It doesn't matter though. You're taking that test anyway.”  
“But I told you. My insur-”  
“I don't care, baby. You'll take the test without your insurance.” He said seriously.  
Richard sighed, frustrated. “It costs a lot. I can't do it right now. Plus, I'm only eighteen. I'm sure I don't have cervical cancer.”  
“It's your health. I'm not risking it because you say you're sure, and it's not just for cancer. And stop worrying about the money. I'm asking you to do it, therefore I'll pay for it.” He said firmly.  
“What if I say I won't do it?” Richard asked, stubbornly.  
“It's not negotiable, Richard. Stop arguing.” He ordered in a stern tone.  
“You're already my bank. You wanna be my insurance company, too?” Richard asked, sarcastically.  
Chris looked at him with fiery eyes and replied in a tone that sent a shiver down Richard's spine and shut him up. “I want to be your everything. And watch your sarcastic tone with me, little boy.”  
Richard pulled his hand out of Chris's and looked away, laying his head against the window. Chris drove in silence and after a few minutes parked in a parking lot in front of the doctor's office. Richard heard him unfastening his own seat belt and then Richard's. He wrapped an arm around Richard's shoulders and held him in his embrace. “If you're a good boy, daddy will reward you, baby. Can you be a good boy for me?” He asked softly.  
“The test hurts, daddy.” He mumbled in Chris's chest.  
“I'll stay with you the whole time and hold your hand. I'll take care of my little sweetheart.” He whispered and kissed Richard's hair.  
“Daddy?”  
“Hm?”  
“Cou-could you also ask her a question?” Richard asked shyly.  
“What question, baby?” Chris wanted to pull away and look at him but Richard clutched harder to his shirt. He didn't want to look him in the eye when he was saying it.  
“If it's ok for you to… to play with me when Rosy gets sick.” He said from Chris's chest and clutched to him harder. “I mean if… if you don't get grossed out.”  
He heard Chris chuckling. “You dirty dirty little boy. I don't think it'd be a problem, but just to be sure, I'll ask her. And how can a sexy pretty little thing like you gross me out?” He kissed Richard's mouth, and then kissed the hickey he had given him that morning. Richard knew that he was probably crimson.  
____________________  
They got out of Chris's car and went to the doctor's office. Chris told Richard to sit down and went to the secretary's desk.  
“Hello, how can I help you?” The woman looked up from her papers.  
“Hello. We have an appointment under Schneider. My assistant called you this morning.” Chris replied, seriously.  
“Yes, I remember. She said it was urgent. Ok, I need to create a file for the patient. She needs to-”  
“He.” Chris corrected her.  
“Excuse me?” The secretary gave Chris an unfathomed look.  
“The appointment is for my boyfriend. I told my assistant to mention that to make sure that the doctor was trans-friendly.” Chris said, annoyed.  
“Uh… yes, she did. I'm sorry, I forgot. Please, come with me.” She said nervously and stood up from her seat, picking up a clipboard. Chris walked to Richard who was nervously biting his black-painted nails and looking down.  
“Come on, sweetie.” He held out a hand to him and Richard took it. They followed the secretary into another room with a bunch of medical equipment in it.  
“Sit down please.” She told Richard who was still looking down. The woman looked at Richard for a second, then at Chris. Chris knew there were sharp differences between Richard and himself in their appearances and people would usually give them the same look when he was kissing Richard in public. Chris would always try to make sure Richard wouldn't notice. But right now, it seemed impossible, because Richard blushed a dark red as he sat down. The lady measured his blood pressure while she asked his name, and then told him to go stand on the scale. Then measured his height and wrote everything down.  
“How old are you?” She asked without looking up from her clipboard.  
“Eighteen.”  
“Are you on hormone therapy?” She asked Richard.  
“Yes.” Richard replied quietly.  
“Dosage?”   
“150mg, weekly injections.” Richard replied. For a second, Chris felt so dumb for not knowing that or not ever have asked that to Richard.   
“When was your last shot?”   
“Um… two days ago.” He said and looked at Chris nervously. Chris smiled at him reassuringly.  
“Are you on any other medications at the moment?”  
“Um… no.”  
“Have you ever been diagnosed with a disease before?”  
The same answer. She wrote all of it down and then looked up. “Ok, I'm all set. I'll call your name in a couple minutes.”  
They walked out and went to to the waiting area. Richard was basically trembling with anxiety. Chris took his hand and whispered softly in his ear. “You did great, baby. There's nothing to worry about, ok? I'm here.”   
Chris had gotten very angry and also very sad when he heard Richard's story. He felt so protective of the boy that he wanted to stay with him and never let him leave his side. When he went to his office that morning, he told Francis to make sure that the doctor wouldn't be a transphobic asshole. Francis knew better than to ask him what this was about. She had just done her job, as always.  
“Mr. Kruspe, the doctor will see you now.” The secretary said, and they went into the doctor's office. She was already looking at Richard's file. She looked up at Richard and then at Chris.  
They said hello and Richard just said a quiet hi, before sitting down. “How can I help you, Mr. Kruspe?” She asked Richard who blushed and looked back at Chris.  
“He… um… he will tell you.” Richard mumbled under his breath and looked at Chris pleadingly. Chris gave him another reassuring smile and looked at the doctor. “He would like to go on contraceptive pills.”  
“I see. You're his partner, I'd assume?”  
“Yes.”  
“Have you made sure that you're negative?” She asked Chris.  
“Every six months. My latest results came in last week.” Chris replied.  
“Very well. Richard, I have some questions I need to ask YOU. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm your doctor and this is a safe environment. If you'd like us to be alone, that could be arranged.” She told Richard in a kind tone.  
Richard looked up and shook his head. “I… I want him here.” He said and bravely sneaked his hand and wrapped it tightly around Chris's index finger. Chris smiled at the little gesture.  
“Ok, whatever you want. Now, I'm gonna ask you the same question. Have you ever taken an HIV test?”  
“N-no.”  
“Have you had sexual intercourse with anyone other than your current partner?” She asked and pointed at Chris.  
“Yes.” Richard said and his grip tightened around Chris's finger. Chris took Richard's hand in his other one.  
“We strongly recommend everyone to take the test. Especially, now that you want to have unprotected intercourse. It's nothing major, and your insurance covers it. It's just a precaution.” She told Richard who nodded in response.  
“Now as for contraception, have you considered more permanent options? Many trans men are doing it and it's nothing dangerous.”  
“What options?” Richard asked, jerking his head up and frowned.  
“Ovaries and uterus removal surgery. You won't have to worry about periods and pregnancies, and it would definitely help you feel more masculine and comfortable.”  
Richard suddenly pulled his hand out of Chris's. He looked angry. “NO.” He said in a loud voice.  
“Sweetheart, calm down.” Chris said and wrapped an arm around Richard's shoulder. Then, gave the doctor a sharp look.  
“I'm not gonna slaughter my body just to fit your standards.” Richard almost yelled.  
“Mr. Kruspe, I think you misunderstood me, I'm very sorry. I didn't mean what you think I meant. I was just making sure that you are aware of all your options.” The doctor said calmly. Richard took a deep breath and obviously relaxed a little.  
“I know my options. I prefer the pills.” He said quietly and leaned into Chris.  
“Ok then. I recommend the mini pills. When is your next period?”  
“In two or three days.” He replied in a low voice.  
“I'll write you a prescription. You can start taking them today. Take them every day at the exact same time. But make sure you use condoms for 48 hours after you've started. Then it'll be completely safe.”  
Chris remembered Richard's question. “Is it ok for him to have sex during his period?”  
“As long as he's not in pain or does not bleed very much, yes it's ok.”  
Then Chris asked her about the pap test and she said Richard can take it after his period and he should refrain from having sex one day before doing the test. They set another appointment after Richard took his blood test, and walked back to Chris's car, Richard was clutching to Chris's arm the entire way and when they sat in the car, he latched onto Chris and began kissing him in a delightfully sloppy manner. Chris held him and kissed him. Richard opened his lips and Chris licked the inside of his mouth and bit his bottom lip. Richard moaned and broke the kiss. “Daddy.” He panted out in the most needy way and began kissing Chris's throat where he mumbled out of breath. “T-take me now, please.”  
Chris took his face and kissed him, matching Richard's aggressiveness. “Get in the back seat.” Chris ordered him. Richard immediately pulled away and slipped to the back seat. Chris opened the glove compartment hoping he still had a couple condoms there. Thankfully, he did. He grabbed one and joined Richard back there with difficulty because he was much taller than Richard. Richard was already trying to get rid of his pants. Chris helped him and threw the jeans on the driver's seat. He opened his belt and took his hard cock out of his boxers slipping on the condom. He looked down at Richard who was staring hungrily at Chris's cock. He was so wet it was leaking out of him. “Baby needs daddy so much, doesn't he?” Chris said with a sharp predatory smile as he moved into position.  
“Please, daddy. Please.” Richard whined in need and pushed his hips up. Chris shoved his cock inside him in one hard thrust and Richard gasped and clutched to the back of the front seat. He cried out when Chris began moving inside him hard and fast. He spread his legs as wide as the cramped space allowed him and Chris grunted at how tight Richard was. He clutched to Richard's hip and smacked him there.  
“Fffffuck.. “ Chris groaned when Richard's hole clenched around him. Richard wailed and moaned. “Please please… do that again. Hit me, daddy, please.”  
Chris was getting hornier by the second with the way Richard was so prettily begging him. He smacked Richard again and absolutely loved the effect it had on Richard. Chris was so close he knew he couldn't hold it any longer. He let himself go when Richard screamed and gasped and his insides tightened around Chris in deep hard waves as he came. Richard was now a panting little mess and Chris had a hard time not forcing his dead weight on the kid. He wanted to pull out and sit up when Richard whined. “No no no, please.”  
“Ok, ok, baby. I'll stay. Daddy's here.” Chris said soothingly and tried to hold his own weight. He had no idea what had gotten into Richard that made him so needy and blatant, but he loved it. He gently kissed Richard's already bruised neck.  
After a few moments, Richard shifted uncomfortably under him and Chris kissed his earlobe. “Can daddy sit up, baby? I don't wanna collapse on top of you. You're too little.” Chris smiled at his tiny little noise of agreement and slowly pulled out and sat up helping Richard to snuggle to his side. Richard's ass stuck to the leather seats and he hissed before getting up. He cuddled to Chris's side and held him tightly. Chris freed one hand to rid his spent cock out of the condom and before he could look for something to clean himself, Richard leaned his head down and licked Chris's cock clean while humming quietly. Chris looked down at the blonde mess in his lap and knew this kid was going to be the death of him.  
“So my naughty little baby likes it rough, huh?” Chris teased him with a smile and Richard squeaked in protest. It was a lovely little aspect of Richard's personality and Chris was very happy he found out about it. He was just curious about what had triggered it.  
“Are you ok, my little prince?” He asked softly and looked at the top of Richard's head and kissed his beautiful blonde fluffy hair.  
“I’onnu, daddy.” He mumbled. He sounded like he was about to pass out.  
“Sweetie, let's get some lunch in your tummy and then we'll talk. You just took a blood test and then this. You need your energy.” He said and held Richard away to look at him. He looked pale. He just nodded. Chris helped him pull his underwear and jeans back up and move back to the passenger seat. He fastened Richard's seat belt and drove.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I haven't been boring you guys with all the medical detail shit, but trans laws regarding insurance really really suck. I just wanted more people to be informed about it.


	9. Chapter 9

Chris watched as Richard practically went at his food like a little lion cub. Poor thing was so hungry and worn out. Chris smiled at him and took a napkin to wipe the ketchup off Richard's chin and fingers. Richard blushed and chewed his food in a calmer manner. “Sorry, daddy.” He mumbled.  
“It's ok, sweetheart. Don't be sorry.” He replied in his kindest tone wondering what this kid was doing to his empty lonely heart. Richard finished his Sprite and gave Chris a satisfied smile while rubbing his stomach. “Tummy’s storage is full, daddy.” He said in a robotic voice and made Chris laugh.  
“Ok, cutie. Daddy's gotta go back to work, and baby's got school. We should go.” Chris said and pushed Richard's hair off his face.  
Richard pouted. “Baby gonna mish dada.”  
“Tell you what, baby. I'll pick you up after I'm done at work, and then take you shopping. It'll be your reward for being good at the doctor's office. What do you say?”  
“Oooh, daddy, I love shopping.” He said excitedly and bounced in his seat.  
“I guessed so.” Chris chuckled. “Now, let's get going, little boy.” Richard smiled and his cheeks turned a tad pink  
Chris dropped Richard off at school and went back to work. He and Till had a meeting with a potential customer company from Japan which was quite important for them. The meeting went on for three hours and they finally agreed to each other's terms and conditions and said they would come back with their lawyers to whip up a contract. It was around 6 o'clock when Till and Chris left the meeting room, they both were incredibly tired.  
“I think I might sleep in my office. I'm fuckin beat, man.” Till informed him.  
“Call a cab if you don't wanna drive. You're not sleeping in your office, Till.” Chris rolled his eyes.  
“Wow. A nice friend would suggest to drive me home.” Till said sarcastically.  
“Sorry, gotta go pick Richard up. I'm taking him shopping.” Chris replied.  
“Uh… the pretty college boy. Shopping, huh? Is it getting serious?” Till asked teasingly.  
Chris shrugged. “We'll see.” He already knew the answer, but he wasn't in the mood to get teased by his best friend.  
“We'll see my ass. You're smitten, aren't you?” Till snorted.  
“Go fuck yourself, Tillchen. I'll call you a cab.” Chris chuckled and took his phone out.  
“Is the cab gonna take me to a place where I can fuck myself? No, thanks. I'm going out.”  
“Hot date?” Now it was Chris's turn to tease.  
“I guess. Maybe we could go on double dates with you and your boy toy.” Till teased.  
Chris sighed and rolled his eyes. “Don't call him that, firstly. Secondly, he barely talks to ME without blushing. I think it's too soon for double dates.” He said seriously.  
“I was just kidding, man. What do I have to say to an eighteen-year-old anyway? Hey, don't get any ideas on getting your teenage dick up my best friend. His bisexual ass doesn't bottom.” Till said, and laughed at himself. Chris looked at him and frowned before chuckling. He and Till knew everything about each other. That kind of happens when you're friends with someone for over a decade, but it wasn't about Chris this time and Richard had made it clear that morning that he still wasn't ready to let strangers around him know his gender identity. So, Chris refrained from correcting Till. “He's fine with me not bottoming.” Was all he said while putting his suit jacket on.  
“I guessed as much. He doesn't seem like a top to me.” Till shrugged.  
Chris snorted. “Yeah, like you would know. You tit loving shit.” Chris knew for a fact that Till was as straight as they came.  
“Hey, I've hung out in gay bars with you enough times to know what's what.” Till defended himself.  
Chris laughed. “Whatever, man. Go get your date. See you tomorrow.”  
They said goodbye and Chris drove to Richard's dorm to pick him up. Richard stumbled out of the building happily and sat in the car. “Hello, good daddy.” He said in a happy tone.  
Chris chuckled and kissed him. “Hello, good baby. Are you ready for your little adventure?”  
“Yes, sir.” He replied cheekily and raised his arms up when Chris was fastening his seat belt for him.  
They drove to the mall, and the first store that made Richard squeak was a toy store. Of course! Richard ran straight to the stuffed animal section and watched around with the most adorable childlike excitement. He wouldn't stop jumping up and down and it made Chris laugh so hard, he forgot how tired he was. Richard gasped when he saw all the colorful dinosaur stuffies on the top shelf.  
“Daddy, can I please have the green one with the purple blades?” He pointed at the green stuffie with large happy eyes and a big smile and a huge tail.  
“Baby boy, you can have whichever one you want.” Chris smiled at him.  
Richard squeaked and stretched his arm up to get the toy, but he was too short to be able to the get to the top shelf. He grunted and jumped up, but still couldn't get it. He pouted aggressively at Chris who was laughing hysterically at how cute Richard was. “‘o’nt waugh at me, dada.” He said with his bottom lip curled down.  
“I'm sorry, baby boy. You're just too cute. You want daddy to get it for you?” Chris asked and nuzzled to Richard's pouty lip with his thumb. Richard nodded, still pouting. Chris took the toy and handed it to Richard. “Here, baby. It's yours. Stop pouting.”  
Richard looked up at him. “It's not mine yet, daddy. I can't own a people before I sure they want me.” Chris bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling at the way Richard talked.  
“It's not a person, rainbow. It's a stuffie.” Chris told him.  
“That's discrimination against shtuffies, daddy.” He mumbled and looked at Chris with disappointed eyes.  
“You're right, baby, I'm sorry. How can we make sure that he wants you?” Chris became serious.  
“Maybe they not a he, daddy. I talk to them and let you know. I hope it goes well.” He replied, unsure and looked into the toy's eyes.  
“I'm sure it will, baby. You're such a sweet boy that any stuffie would be lucky to be yours.” Chris said. Richard smiled happily as they walked around the store. Richard was frantically whispering into the toy's big purple ear, and Chris couldn't hear him but the amount of adorable was killing him. After a few minutes of conversation, Richard finally announced that the stuffie was a boy and he wanted to go home with Richard. Richard also stopped at the storybook section and picked up a few of them so excitedly. “Daddy, will you read them to me at bedtime?” He asked politely, and batted his long eyelashes at Chris.  
“Of course, I will, baby.” Chris smiled at him. He hid his surprise. Richard was really a little. It wasn't an act. Not that Chris had ever thought it was, with seeing the kid's bedroom and all, but it seemed to be a lot of responsibility and Chris knew that he needed to be ready for that.  
Richard squealed again, and this time it was for the six colored box of oil pastels. Chris kissed his forehead and picked it up for him. “Thanks, daddy. I can also use it for school.” He said happily.  
“You're right, baby. Then what do you say we leave this one, go to the stationary store and buy you a bigger box? My little artist boy could certainly use it, hm?” Chris said kindly.  
Richard agreed, and they decided to leave the toy store but not before Richard got a pair of white and orange fox ears he laid eyes on. Chris bought Richard a 36 colored box of oil pastels from another store. But before they go to the cashier, Richard turned the box over and glanced anxiously at Chris.  
“Baby, what is it? You don't like it?”  
“I do, daddy, but… but I don't want it anymore. I ch-changed my mind.” He stuttered and walked away to put the box back on the shelf. Chris frowned, not really understanding what was happening. Chris followed him. “What happened, baby?” Chris asked attempting to take the box, but Richard didn't let him.  
“Nothing, daddy. Let's just go.” Richard said and tried to pull Chris away from the shelf. Suspiciously, Chris took the box and turned it over to see what Richard had seen. The price tag! He sighed and looked back at Richard.  
“I told you, baby. It's your reward for being good. It's a present. You're not supposed to look at the price tag!” Chris said.  
“But it's too expensive, daddy.” Richard said and bowed his head down. It was practically the amount of money that Chris would usually tip a waiter at a restaurant, but it was a lot for Richard, and Chris hated the fact that every time they had to have a discussion about Chris spending money on Richard. Even when he was in little space and Chris didn't want that kind of pressure on Richard.  
“I want to buy this for my baby. And my baby is going to accept it and not worry about it, otherwise, my baby is being a bad boy. And what do bad boys get?” Chris asked him seriously. He might have never been a daddy dom before, but he had been a dom and he knew quite a bit about disciplining his sub, or in this case, his little baby sub.  
Richard blinked up at him, unsure. Fuck, he was beautiful. Chris thought, and tried to keep a stern face. “Spankies.” Chris said, seriously. Richard blinked before blushing madly and biting his plush bottom lip.  
“I… I-” He trailed off.  
“We need to discuss rules, baby boy. I don't want you arguing with me every time I wanna buy you something. Now, get the box and tell daddy if you need anything else for school.” Chris told him in his most authoritative tone, and he could tell that it was working.  
Richard swallowed and looked down. “No, dada. Das all.” He mumbled.  
“Ok, then. Let's go, little boy.” They went to the cashier and Chris paid for the oil pastels and they left.  
Richard was walking next to him in silence while most of his shopping bags were being carried by Chris, and he was just holding onto his new dinosaur while biting his nails. Chris sighed and decided to get Richard out of his pouty mood.  
“Does baby like ice cream? I bet it's more delicious than your nails.” He tilted his head down and said into Richard's ear. Richard stopped biting his nails and looked up. He looked so sulky and innocent.  
“Daddy still wikes baby?” He asked and looked like he was about to cry.  
“Of course, I do. Baby is daddy's favorite little thing. Rainbow, I just want you to be happy.” He said and hugged Richard to his side as they were getting close to the ice cream stand.  
“Would some ice cream make baby feel better?” He asked. Richard's bottom lip was still curled down when he nodded shyly and held his dinosaur tighter. Chris smiled at him and let him choose whatever color of ice cream he wanted, they sat down on a bench at the mall and Chris watched Richard eating his ice cream and giving it small kitty cat licks just like he had done with Chris's cock. Chris felt inappropriately aroused. He just tried to cheer Richard up. He told him jokes and booped his pretty curled up nose and tickled his chin until Richard was a giggling little puppy again. Chris suggested that they'd go get some dinner, but Richard so politely and sweetly asked him if he wanted to spend the night at his dorm. He said he had enough ingredients for them to make some spaghetti and that they'd be alone because Paul was at a practice session. Chris was sure that Richard just wanted to get dinner at his place so Chris wouldn't pay for his food again. It made Chris both annoyed and proud. Richard may have been a little, but he was stubbornly holding onto his dignity and that made Chris like him even more. It was also a big gesture on Richard's side, inviting Chris to his cute little fortress of solitude. So he smiled and told him. “About time my baby invited me to his room. Will I get to meet your stuffies?”  
Richard smiled up at him. “They been asking to meet my dada.”  
“Aw, I'm so happy and honored.” Chris said honestly.  
They drove to Richard's dorm. They entered the apartment, and before Richard opened his room door, he turned to Chris. “Daddy, be quiet. They might be asleep.”  
Chris smiled and nodded. Richard opened the door and they walked in. It was as messy as Chris had remembered it. Richard put his dinosaur on his bed, and went around the room gathering his stuffies. There was four of them. A small bunny with giant pink ears, a penguin, a panda and a giraffe.  
“Ok, daddy, this is Miss bunbun. She loves the color pink and is a little mean, so be careful around her.” He said and gestured to the bunny. “That's pingoo, Miss bunbun’s boyfriend. She's way out of his league, as you can see.” He whispered after introducing the penguin. “That's ChiChi. She's from China. She misses her family but also doesn't like them very much. They tried to make her marry this bad guy so she ran away. She has depression and anxiety so we try to take good care of her.” He told Chris about the panda. “And that's Sir stretch. We try not to bother him so much. He's a busy man. He's an orchestra conductor.” He finished the introduction with the giraffe and turned to Chris. Chris walked to the line of stuffed animals, unsure of how to react. He crouched down in front of them and saw the encouraging smile on Richard's pretty face. He gently took each of their paws or hands, shook them, and said hi and introduced himself as daddy.  
Richard gave him another brilliant smile and took Chris's hand. “Come, daddy. Mr. Bear is waiting.”  
Chris got up and went with him to his bed. “Mr. Bear ran away from his bad father. He would beat him, but Mr. B survived because he's so brave.” Richard smiled proudly and picked up the toy from his bed. Chris was a little unsettled with the made-up background stories, but he went along with it and greeted the last one. Richard put the bear back on his bed and before he could say anything else, Chris just pulled him into his arms and held him tight. Richard sighed and melted against him. Chris's feelings were overwhelming him. It felt like a sudden current of a wild waterfall washing him away with… with something that Chris wasn't sure about. All he knew, was that he wanted to hold this kid in his arms and protect him from everyone and everything. The way Richard's warm body was fitting Chris's, and the way he was humming in Chris's chest was so calming and soothing. Chris breathed into the coconutty smell of Richard's blonde hair and felt an unfamiliar knot in his throat. He shut his eyes, held Richard tighter in his arms and tried to swallow it.  
“Dada?” Richard's muffled mumble came from Chris's chest.  
“Hm?”  
“Oxygen.”  
Chris chuckled and wiped his eyes before letting go of the kid. “Dada, you ok?” Richard's huge transparent eyes were boring into him worriedly. Chris kissed his forehead. “I'm perfect, baby boy. What do you say we go to the kitchen and make some dinner?”  
“I say yaaaay.” He cheered and added. “But can I change first, daddy? I not wike outside clothes. Not comfy.” He pouted.  
“Sure, sweetie. Daddy will go wash up, ok?” He said, smiling.  
“M’kay.”  
Chris went and found the bathroom. He took his tie and suit jacket off on the way and folded his sleeves up to his elbow, and opened his top two shirt buttons. He washed up and walked out. Richard was in the kitchen barefoot wearing a pair of shorts and a white tank top which was… “Baby, I think you wore your top from inside out.” Chris chuckled and walked to him, hoisting him up as he giggled. He put Richard on the kitchen counter and loved how easily he could carry him around.  
“I was in a hurry, daddy.” He said between giggles.  
“I think you're too little to dress yourself. You want daddy to fix that for you?” He said and kissed Richard's nose who nodded. Chris took Richard's top off him and gasped playfully. “Now I think you're too pretty to be dressed.”  
Richard blushed and crossed his arms to cover his bound chest. “I'm naked in the kitchen, daddy.” He said shyly. Chris smiled at the adorable little thing and kissed his neck. “Yes, you are.” He trailed kisses on Richard's collarbone and smiled when Richard's arms and legs were wrapped around him. The smell of his skin was intoxicating. Chris couldn't get enough of inhaling his scent. He just wished Richard could trust him and be comfortable enough to take his binder off in front of him.   
“You smell so good, baby doll.” He whispered and felt a shudder running through Richard. He looked into his eyes before beginning to kiss his mouth. He broke the kiss after a while and pressed their foreheads together. Richard ground against him when he felt Chris's arousal. “Is baby wet for daddy?” He breathed.  
“Aha.” Richard moaned and leaned into him.  
“Let's see.” Chris whispered, and gently slipped his hand into Richard's shorts. He was dripping wet and he whined when Chris touched him there. “Can you keep it wet for daddy until after dinner? Daddy's gonna want some dessert.”  
“Now, daddy. Please.” Richard moaned into Chris's neck.  
“Aww, needy baby greedy baby.” Chris smiled. He pulled away from Richard which made him whine. Then, put his tank top back on him and kissed him until he stopped pouting. “You just sit there and let daddy watch you while he cooks, alright, dolly?”  
Richard nodded. Chris asked him about the whereabouts of the ingredients, but other than that, they were both quiet.  
“Daddy, would you like to do something nice?” Richard suddenly asked him.  
“Like making my baby cum on the kitchen counter?” Chris asked shamelessly and Richard blushed madly. “Noooo.” He shouted in protest.  
“What then?” Chris chuckled while stirring the sauce in the pan.  
“Remember I told you that I used to volunteer at an orphanage?” He asked in a more big boy tone.  
“I do, baby. why?”  
“Well, I was talking to the manager lady today on the phone. She's a friend. She was telling me that they have three new infants and a couple of other new kids. They're really tight on money and funding. I try to help them every month ever since I've been having an income. But it's obviously not enough. I was thinking maybe you might like to help them a little bit. I didn't tell her about you so I wouldn't get her hopes up. Thought I should talk to you first.” He said all that in his biggest tone which was still childlike, but kind of serious.  
“How much do you help them?” Chris asked with knotted eyebrows. The kid barely had money to buy his own school essentials.  
“As much as I can. They're really poor. When I was there, at least I could teach them music and stuff.” He shrugged.  
Chris went to him and looked into his pure eyes, kissed his forehead and whispered to him. “You're an angel, baby. Did you know that?” He said proudly. This kid was something else. Richard blushed and looked down.  
“I'd be honored to help, sweetheart. I'll send someone over there to see what the place needs, and how much money they might need. Then, I'll arrange a monthly payment and buy them the things they need.” Chris said. He always took part in charities or fundraisings, but nothing this personal. Then, a thought crossed his mind. “Or better yet. What do you say we drive there this weekend? You can see your little friends and you can make me a list yourself. We'll make a little trip out of it.” Chris said. Richard's mouth fell open. “You'd do that? Really?” Richard said with disbelief and teary eyes.  
Chris smiled at him. “Is it so hard to believe that I might actually have a heart?”  
Richard blushed and smiled and his tears fell as he hugged Chris tightly. “No no. You have an amazing heart. You're the best, daddy. I love you.” Richard shouted happily into Chris's neck. Chris hugged him back and cursed himself. Fucking hell, why couldn't he just say it? Before Chris could scold himself more, he heard Richard again. “But daddy, I work on weekends.” He sounded pouty.  
Chris thought for a moment. “How many classes you got on Friday, baby?”  
“Two, daddy. I'm at school until 11:30.” He replied.  
“I'll take Friday off and pick you up right after school. We drive there, go see the place, spend the night, and I'll take you to work Saturday morning. It's a two-hour drive. You'll be on time, baby.” He suggested. Richard hugged him again. “That's a great idea, daddy.”  
Chris finished making dinner and put it into two plates. By the time they were at the table, Richard's happiness had worn off and turned into a sickly pale skin. “Baby, are you ok?” Chris asked, frowning. “Is it the food?”  
“No, daddy. I'll be right back.” Richard got up and went to the bathroom. Chris remembered that he had gotten Richard's pills. He went and got them from his jacket pocket and checked the time. When Richard came back, he still looked pale. “Sweetie, what's wrong?” Chris asked.  
“My tummy hurts a little, daddy. It'll go away.” He replied and gave Chris a forced smile.  
“Maybe you're hungry, rainbow. Can you eat something?” Chris took Richard's hand in his.  
Richard nodded, and began eating. Well, picking at his food mostly. “Here's your pills, baby. I'll also keep a bottle for you at my place. I'll remind you to take them every night at this exact time, ok?”  
“Thanks, daddy.” Richard said with a fainty expression and took the pill with some water. Richard didn't eat much and Chris kept an eye on him during dinner. He looked like he was about to pass out. After dinner, Chris cleaned the table and washed the dishes while Richard spent another five minutes in the bathroom.  
“Baby, do you want me to take you to a doctor? You've gone deathly pale, dolly.” Chris said worriedly. Richard shook his head. “It'll go away.”  
“How do you know that, baby?” Chris asked him in a kind tone.  
“Just leave it. Please.” Richard suddenly shouted and pulled away from him and walked to his bedroom. Chris followed him and then saw what was wrong. “Baby? You-”  
“Just please. I'll be fine.” Richard said, frustrated.  
“Sweetheart, you're bleeding.” Chris said softly. There was a red stain on the back of Richard's shorts. Richard's eyes grew round as he put one hand behind himself and looked at it. He would probably blush if he wasn't so sickly pale. He opened his closet and rummaged anxiously through it. He took some stuff that Chris couldn't see, then turned around and ran out of the bedroom. Chris heard the bathroom door slam shut. Chris sat on Richard's bed and waited. After ten minutes, he heard the bathroom door again, but didn't move so Richard could do what he wanted. He heard him slamming doors and drawers in the kitchen for a minute and then his frustrated grunt. “No no no.”  
That was it. Chris got up and went to the kitchen. Richard was wearing a pair of tweety bird pajamas and trembling all over. “Reeshy?” He called softly. Richard looked up at him. He looked even paler, and he was crying. “I thought I had some painkillers here.” He cried anxiously and sat cross-legged on the floor and clutched to his abdomen. "It wasn't supposed to happen until Thursday so I didn't check."  
“Baby, it's ok. I'll drive to the drug store and get you some right now. Is ibuprofen ok?” Chris asked in a low voice.  
Richard nodded and sniffled. Chris crouched down in front of him. “The floor is cold, sweetie. Come on. I'll take you to your bed, baby boy.”  
“I not baby boy.” Richard cried in pain. He was a small ball on the floor.  
Chris remembered that Richard had told him how he felt during his period. “I'm sorry, Princess. Let daddy carry you to your bed. And I'll go get you some pain pills. Ok, dolly?”  
Richard whined and nodded. Chris picked him up in his arms and took him to his bed, tucking him under his blanket. “Do you need anything else, baby? Pads? Tampons? What do you use?” Chris asked him softly and fondled Richard's hair. He curled into a ball and shoved his face into the pillow where he mumbled shyly. “Junior tampons.”  
“I'll be back soon, baby girl. I promise.” Chris kissed Richard's cold sweaty temple and quickly left after taking his wallet and Richard's keys.  
He was back after half hour, and found his poor baby moaning in pain. He brought him a glass of water. “Daddy's here, sweetheart. You'll be alright, baby doll. Here, take this.” Chris helped Richard sit up and gave him a pill. “Two.” Richard mumbled.  
“Princess, are you sure?” Chris asked worriedly.  
“Woways two.” He whined and looked up at Chris pleadingly. Chris nodded and gave him the second one. Richard took it and turned away to curl into a small fetus again. Chris lay behind him and held him in his arms. “Daddy will take care of you, baby girl. Tell me if you needed anything else.” Chris whispered into his ear. Richard let out a small sob and took Chris's hand that was resting on his waist, and put it under his top on his abdomen. His muscles were so tensed. “Press here, dada.” He mumbled. Chris pressed his warm hand against Richard's cold skin and slightly massaged him there.  
“Are you in this much pain every month, sweetheart?” Chris asked him in a low voice.  
“‘urts more whe I hony, dada.” He mumbled shyly and sounded so embarrassed.  
“Baby girl, I'm sorry I touched you like that before dinner.” Chris said apologetically. Maybe if he would've made Richard come, he'd be more comfortable now. Richard just whined in response and shifted a little bit. He sounded out of breath.   
“Baby? You can't go to sleep wearing your binder. It'll hurt you. Please take it off. I'll leave the room if you want me to.” Chris said with worry.   
Richard remained silent for a moment, then mumbled pleadingly. “Don't weave, Dada.”   
Chris kissed the side of Richard's face and slowly sat up helping Richard do the same. “Would you let me help you, sweetheart?” He asked and to his surprise, Richard nodded weakly, his eyes down. Chris gently took the top off him first. The binder looked dangerously tight, like it would hurt the ribcage if worn for long. Chris took the bottom part of it and tried very gently to take it off Richard. Richard panted and sighed and when it was finally off him, he breathed deeply and then balled his upper body. Chris could see the red trace of the binder on Richard's skin. He didn't say anything and just helped Richard back into his top. Richard didn't even look up at him, he just turned away and lay back in bed on his side. Chris joined and spooned him and thought of something. “Would you like daddy to read you one of your new storybooks, Princess?”  
Richard nodded frantically. Chris gently pulled away from him which made Richard sob quietly. Chris quickly got one of the small books from the shopping bags and lay back against Richard. He opened the book and began reading it to him in a low and calming voice. It was titled “Winnie the pooh’s secret garden” It was about the yellow bear’s adventure into an apple garden with his best friends while he looked for some honey trees. Richard wanted to see every picture on each page and Chris showed him while mimicking the character's voices.  
“... And then, Winnie and his friends shared all the honey under the beautiful tree. The end.” Chris finished reading and heard Richard's shallow breathing. At some point, the little thing had fallen asleep. Chris smiled at his innocent profile and left a light kiss on his temple. He seemed to be at peace now. Chris discarded the book somewhere on the floor and pulled the blanket only on Richard, since it was too small to cover the both of them. “Goodnight, my little angel.” He paused and watched Richard again. He was deep asleep. Chris whispered in his lowest voice.  
“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about to get pretty angsty.


	10. Chapter 10

“Dada?” Chris opened his eyes with Richard's in distress moans.  
“Hmm… baby?” He said sleepily and could feel a bitch of a headache crawling all over his brain.  
“Need… to go pee.” Richard mumbled and tried to move from under Chris's arm. Chris was now more conscious. He got up with a groan. He was hurting all over. Richard's bed was too small for the both of them and he had no room to move all night on the too uncomfortable mattress. He helped Richard up, but noticed that Richard was too dizzy to walk. He turned on the overhead light and Richard groaned and covered his eyes. “Come on, baby. I've got you.” He helped Richard out of bed and saw that his bed sheet was stained with his blood. When Richard saw it, he whined quietly and covered his face.  
“It's ok, baby. You need a shower. Come on.” He said softly, and checked the time on his phone. It was 5 in the morning. He helped Richard into the bathroom and had to hold him so he wouldn't fall. He was so dizzy and uncoordinated with blood loss that it made Chris very worried. Richard shut his eyes tightly when Chris turned on the bathroom lights. “Sit here, baby. I'll get the water running.” He said softly and sat Richard down on the toilet. There was no bathtub there, so the only option was a hot shower. Chris stripped off his clothes and turned the water on. Then, went back to Richard. “Baby, you can't shower alone right now. Is it ok if I take one with you?” He asked carefully.   
Richard held his face in his hands and nodded. Chris went and knelt in front of him and took his wrists gently and kissed his hands. Richard moved his hands from his face and he was crying. “Baby, it's ok. You're safe. I promise you. You can say no if you want.”

Richard shook his head and looked down. “I wanna.” He mumbled. Chris kissed his forehead. He wished he could do something to help Richard with this crippling feel of dysphoria. He took the hem of Richard's top and gently took it off. His chest area was very small and around it was very muscular. In Chris's opinion Richard didn't really need the chest binder. He was already so beautiful and masculine. Chris needed to somehow make him feel secure about that, but now wasn't the time. He helped Richard stand up to help strip him.His pajamas and his panties were a bloody mess. He had bled so much during the night, that at some point the tampon had stopped absorbing. Chris bent down and took the cotton string between his fingers and gently pulled it out. It was soaked red. Chris put it in the trash can and helped Richard into the shower. He was so pale, but his cheeks were still tinted pink from embarrassment. He was a shaking mess. “Shhh… it's ok, baby. Everything's gonna be fine.” He whispered and held Richard in his arms under the hot water. It was the first time he was pressed directly to Richard with no clothes between them. It felt so good and warm, Chris wouldn't mind staying like that forever. He pulled away and gently massaged Richard's tensed abdomen. “Baby, daddy needs you to relax. Can you do that for me?”  
Richard didn't say anything, he just relaxed a little bit and Chris felt some of the tension leaving him. “Good baby.”  
Chris began tenderly washing between Richard's legs, and then washed the rest of his body with some shower gel. Richard was leaning on him the entire time, obviously not able to stand on his own. Chris massaged Richard's temples and kissed his forehead, then turned off the water. He saw one white towel and one SpongeBob towel hanging off the wall and knew which one was Richard's! He wrapped the towel around Richard's shoulders and sat him down on the toilet again. “I'll be right back, baby. You can pee.” He went to get the tampons he had bought Richard last night, and checked the instructions on the package. He opened the box and took one out and looked at it. “Jesus Christ.” He whispered while inspecting the thing. He had never seen a tampon up close before! He was a trained engineer and that thing still seemed like rocket science to him, but the instructions seemed pretty clear. He walked into the bathroom and knelt in front of Richard who had his legs closed tight and was still slightly shaking. “Let daddy help you with this, baby.” He said and nuzzled to Richard's knee. Richard shook his head while looking down. Chris sighed. “Ok, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, sweetheart. Let me know when you're finished.” Chris said, gave Richard the tampon and left the bathroom. He stood behind the door and waited, and after a minute heard Richard's whining. “Daddy.” He went back in.  
“It fell.” Richard cried. “Into the toilet.” He added in his smallest voice. Chris knelt in front of him and wiped his face and cooed. “Baby girl, it's nothing to cry about. There's a whole box of’em right here. Will you let daddy help you this time? You're too little to do this on your own.” Richard nodded and sniffled. Still not looking at him. Chris took another tampon. “Open your legs, sweetie.” He ordered softly, and Richard complied. Chris reached between Richard's legs and under him, thankfully, he knew the anatomy of a vagina perfectly well! He gently pushed it into Richard's entrance just the way the instruction had said. Richard let out a small noise but other than that, remained relaxed. Chris removed the applicator and put it in the trash. Then, wiped Richard with a toilet paper just to be sure. “Done, baby.” He said and kissed Richard's pink cheek. He helped the kid back in his bedroom and dressed him into a pair of comfy shorts and a t-shirt, then removed the stained sheets and went back to the bathroom and put his clothes back on, and picked Richard's bloody clothes up putting them in a trash bag along with the sheets. He went to Richard's bedroom and saw him curling in his bed wide awake. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” He asked softly as he sat on the bed and fondled Richard's damp hair. Richard just shook his head and shoved his face into his pillow.  
“I'll make you something to eat. Do you have anything?”  
“PB and J.” He mumbled.  
“Ok, baby. I'll make you a sandwich.” He smiled.  
“C-Can you make it with the crust cut off, daddy?” He asked in a small voice.  
Chris leaned down and kissed his face. “Of course, I can, my sweet doll. Anything for you.”  
Chris went to the kitchen and made two sandwiches while yawning all the way. He really needed his morning coffee! The fridge was basically empty, looked like no one had gone shopping for a while. Chris looked into the cabinets and his eyes widened with what he saw in the glasses section. There was a green sippy cup with a blue lid, and it had a picture of a little monkey riding a baby elephant and they seemed so happy with the butterflies around them. Chris smiled fondly and couldn't decide whether to love Richard more, or get freaked out by the huge responsibility that came with this precious kid. He went back to Richard and sat on his bed, and slapped on his thigh. “Come here, sweetie.” Richard crawled in his lap and Chris began feeding him with small portions of the sandwich while eating some himself. He had never fed anyone in his life before, but he was really enjoying feeding this sweet little thing in his lap. Richard rested against him and they ate in silence.  
“Are you feeling better, baby?” He asked after the breakfast was done.  
“Much better, daddy.” He gave Chris a small heart-warming smile.  
“Good, I'm glad. Can you go to school, Princess?” He asked while combing Richard's hair with his fingers.  
Richard nodded. “Starts at 9, daddy. You should go to work.” He said in a small voice. “I'm sorry I woke you up so early.” He mumbled apologetically.  
Chris hugged him and kissed him. “I needed that shower with you, baby.” Richard was still too pale to blush, so he just looked down and crawled off Chris's lap. Chris decided not to push him any further, maybe he just needed some time alone. Richard was being shy all morning. Well… more shy than usual. He got up and got his tie and began tying it while standing in front of the mirror. Then, unfolded his sleeves back down, and wore his jacket. He thought he looked terrible with his yesterday's suit. He fastened his watch around his wrist, and glanced at it. He didn't have enough time to go back to his apartment and change. He suddenly caught Richard's eyes on him in the mirror and smiled at him. The kid looked extremely beautiful with tired half-lidded eyes. “Like what you see?” Chris teased him and chuckled when Richard hid his face in his elephant patterned pillowcase.  
“You call daddy if you need anything, ok?” Chris said in a serious tone.  
Richard nodded. “I'm sorry I didn't have coffee, daddy. I don't like coffee and Paul gets his at work.” Chris bent over the bed to kiss him. “It's ok. I'll get some on my way to work. I'll see you tonight, baby.” Chris looked into Richard's eyes for a moment and remembered what he had said to Richard last night when he was asleep. He paused, kissed Richard's forehead and left.  
___________________  
Richard let out a breath he did not know he was holding. This entire morning was probably the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. He played the scene where Chris changed his tampon over and over again in his head, and each time, he pressed his hands against his temples tighter and whined. “Oh my God.” He felt a painful twitch in his belly and got up to go get another painkiller before it kills him. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so embarrassed, and this was a lot coming from the kid who could win a trophy in a shyness contest. He thought he could crawl into a hole and die. Then, he remembered Chris feeding him. That was really nice. He was a little. Littles loved being fed, but again, as a little who had never had a caregiver before, this still made Richard so shy. He had no idea how he was gonna face Chris again. It wasn't that he hated being taken care of like that. He loved it, but he just felt too damn shy about it. There was also the fact that he had blurted out “I love you” last night, again. Chris clearly didn't love him. His actions were very heartwarming and caring, but he didn't love Richard. Richard curled in his bed with his phone and smiled when he remembered Chris had read him a bedtime story. That, Richard loved and wasn't shy about. Chris was a great storyteller, Richard remembered how he talked funny while mimicking the characters, and couldn't stop his giggles with the thought.  
Richard spent another hour in his bed with his beloved new dinosaur that daddy had gotten him while checking his social media apps and massaging his own belly until the leftover pain was gone and the only thing left, was an unsettling feeling of being so bloated. He got up and went to the bathroom and wondered where his dirty sheets and clothes were. They needed to be laundered thoroughly. Richard hoped he could get the blood stains off them, since he loved his sheets so much. But they were nowhere to be seen! Richard thought about texting Chris and asking him, but he felt too shy about it. So he didn't. He thought he couldn't even answer him if he would text. Richard slowly got dressed, got his backpack ready for the day. He glanced at the dinosaur, went to it and picked it up. “You need a name.” He told his stuffie and pouted. “Do you think I can fit you in ma backpack? We can think of a name together.” He suggested him, smiled and tried to fit it in his backpack. “Yaaaay.” He cheered when it had worked. Then looked at Mr. Bear sitting on his desk. “Don't worry, Mr. Bear. I still love you, but he needs a name and you know I need to get to know him before giving him one.” He smiled at his most favorite stuffie and went to kiss him. “Say hi to mama for me.” He hugged the bear for a moment and kissed him before putting him down. He somehow felt that there was a connection between the bear and his mother in heaven, so he always asked him to send Richard's messages to his mama.  
Richard was so sleepy and tired all day, and he spent the entire lunch hour sitting on the toilet seat with “Boyrex” in his arms. That was the name he had chosen for his dinosaur. Chris hadn't had texted him all day. Richard felt so lonely and anxious about it. He knew he could be extremely clingy and annoying so he tried his best not to text him or bother him. He just went through all his classes with depressing thoughts. His day at school was finished at six, and he went back to his dorm and saw Paul in the kitchen.  
“Your boyfriend sent someone over with a bunch of stuff.” Paul informed him.  
“What?” Richard asked, confused.  
“Here, look.” Paul opened the fridge and Richard went to see what he was talking about. His eyes turned wide when he saw the fridge full of groceries. Food, fruit, snacks, chocolate, juice boxes, and then Paul showed him a bunch of cookies on the counter and a couple of ice cream cups in the refrigerator.  
“Two guys came and said they were from his company. They also put some stuff in your room. What's going on?” Paul asked.  
“I don't know.” He replied honestly and shocked. He went to his room and saw a new mattress on his bed, new sheets with the same pattern as his old ones, a shopping bag with a bunch of new pajamas and panties and boxes of tampons in it, and a note on top.  
Baby,   
I would have taken you shopping but I'm going to be very busy until Friday and you have school, so I ordered them online and sent them over. You need more nutrition during this week and you're in no shape to go shopping, so I will not tolerate any argument about buying them for you. I miss you very much and will see you tonight at your place. Get some rest, Princess.   
Kisses from daddy.   
PS. If you don't like the clothes, let me know.  
“What does it say?” Paul asked with curiosity.  
“He… he's staying over again tonight.” Richard said, unsure of how to react.  
“Again? He was here last night?”  
Richard nodded.  
“What's your deal with this guy, Reesh?” Paul asked.  
Richard didn't like Paul's tone, and he was feeling insecure as it was, so he just blurted. “I didn't ask him to buy me stuff.”  
Paul blinked. “I know you didn't. I just asked what's your deal with him. I'm sorry I upset you.” He said, hurt.  
Richard sighed. “No, I… I'm sorry. He's um… he's my boyfriend. We kinda talked about it. It's just that… It feels weird when he buys me stuff.”  
“I think he really likes you, and it's his money, you can't tell him how to spend it.” Paul grinned. “Do you like him?”  
Richard blushed. “I… I told him that I loved him.”  
“Wow. You said it first? That takes guts, man.” Paul said, amazed. “So what did he say?”  
“Nothing. Both times.” Richard admitted quietly.  
“Aw, Richard.” Paul walked to him and hugged him.  
“He's so good to me. I can't stop myself from falling for him.” Richard whispered in Paul's shoulder and his tears fell. He felt overwhelmingly emotional.  
“Hey… don't cry. I'm sure he likes you a lot. Maybe it's hard for him to admit it.” Paul said soothingly. Richard pulled away from Paul and wiped his own tears. “What do you mean?” He asked.  
Paul sat on Richard's new mattress and explained. “My aunt once told me that as people get older, it gets harder for them to say “I love you” because they've had many failed relationships and they're afraid of saying it too soon.”  
Richard sat next to him and thought about it. “That kinda makes sense, I guess.”  
“Yeah, and he's, like, a super serious type of grown up. Maybe you won't hear the L word anytime soon, but it doesn't mean that it's not there.” He said wisely.  
“Thanks, Paulie. I really feel better.” Richard smiled at him.  
“So how's the sex?” Paul suddenly asked. Richard's eyes widened and he slapped Paul on the shoulder. “PAUL.” He could feel the heat rising up his neck.  
“You look like a strawberry when you blush.” Paul snickered and laughed. “Tell me how was it.” He insisted eagerly.  
Richard made a face at him before mumbling. “Dreamy.”  
“Ok, you look stupid now. Have fun with your sugar daddy tonight. I'll be in the next room.” Paul laughed and dodged when Richard threw a highlighter at him.  
After Paul left, Richard went to the shopping bag. There was three pair of pajamas with super cute cartoon characters pattern on them, and three pair of panties which made Richard's heart want to jump out of his chest. One, in particular, made him blush madly. It was baby pink, and on the front side of it was written: “Daddy kisses me here”. Richard didn't know whether to run for the hills or to grin like an idiot. His heart chose the latter of course. He felt a jolt of electricity running through him and it tingled his little-parts. He grabbed his phone and sat on his bed. He thought about texting Chris and thanking him, and maybe a little dirty comment, but it was already a failed attempt. He couldn't bring himself to send Chris a dirty text. He was a good little. He unlocked his phone and saw that Chris had already texted him.  
Mr. Schneider: Are you back home safe, baby girl? How are you feeling?  
Richard still hadn't edited Chris's name on his phone. He kind of liked the sound of Mr. Schneider. The text made him squeak though. He typed:  
“Yes, Mr. Schneider. Baby girl is safely home and feels much better. Thank you for the groceries and the lovely clothes and the perfect sheets and the mattress. Though baby girl is not happy about you spending so much money on him, he chooses not to argue with daddy as long as this was daddy's last time doing this.” Richard read the text twenty times before hitting send. He waited ten minutes while playing doodle jump on his phone. Finally, his phone buzzed.  
Mr. Schneider: You will get a talking to, Princess. Tonight. I'll be there at 9.  
The text sent a shudder through Richard. He wished he wasn't on his stupid period or at least wasn't bleeding so much, so daddy could have sex with him and they wouldn't have to talk about this money matter. He sighed and went to take a shower and wore one of his own pajamas. It had Pokémon on it. After that, he did some of his homework drawings and studied for a while. He was in the middle of introducing boyrex to the other members of his stuffie army when he heard the apartment buzzer. 9 sharp! Impressive. He got up and buzzed Chris in. There was a knock on the door and he opened it and his eyes widened. Chris was wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt and a brown leather motorcycle jacket. He had never seen Chris in anything other than designer suits. He looked extremely hot and at least three years younger. He was giving Richard his million dollar half smile. Richard moved to let him in. “Hi.” He said, still mesmerized.  
“Hello, pretty little Pokémon.” He bent and kissed Richard on the lips. Richard suppressed his needy whine when Chris pulled away, instead, he just hummed. “Hope you like Döner.” Chris said and held up a paper bag. Richard could smell the delicious kebab.  
“Oh, I have so many groceries. We could've cooked, daddy.” He said cheekily.  
Chris went to the kitchen and put the bag on the counter. “It's 9 o'clock, baby and I'm beat. I Just need my baby and a warm dinner with some wine. And I don't assume you have wine glasses here.”  
“Oh, we do. It's right next to our golden utensils and diamond plates. Oh wait… that was your place.” Richard grinned at him.  
Chris gave him a sharp look that melted away Richard's grin. Then he smirked at Richard's reaction. “I don't have golden utensils and diamond plates at my place. I'm not the king of ancient Egypt. I also don't keep glasses next to utensils at my place. Plus, I figured you'd be more comfortable here when little Rosy is sick. My place is not very baby-friendly as you know.”  
Richard smiled, went to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “You're baby-friendly enough, Mr. King daddy. I'd be comfortable with you anywhere. But thanks for coming here even though I know it's not in your taste.” Richard said sincerely.  
Chris held him and lifted him up putting him on the counter and made Richard giggle. He stood between Richard's legs and kissed his neck where he whispered. “But you are in my taste, princess baby.”  
Richard hummed, satisfied, and wrapped his arms and legs around Chris as they kissed. There was a sharp sound of clearing throat which made Richard jump and let go of Chris.  
“Hi, Mr. Schneider.” Paul said. Nikki was behind him. They both were grinning.  
“Hello, Mr. Landers. Nikki.” Chris nodded at Nikki and she blushed and smiled. “Hi, Mr. Schneider.” She said in a dreamy voice. Richard pouted at her. No one should have dared to look at Richard's daddy in that way.  
Paul saw the look on Nikki’s face, and nudged at her. Richard saw Chris shaking his head in amusement as he opened the cabinet to get plates. “We're gonna go get dinner with Emma at the place Ollie's working. Call if you need anything, Reesh.” Paul said as they were walking to the door.  
“Thanks. Say hi to them for me.” Richard said.  
“Oh, that reminds me. Emma said to give this back to you and thank you.” Nikki said and gave Richard a bottle of red nail polish. “Ok, see you.” She added.  
Paul yelled from the door. “Bye, Reesh. Bye Reesh’s boyfriend.” And the door was shut.  
Richard rolled his eyes. “They're embarrassing.”  
Chris chuckled. “They're fine.”  
“Oh, really? Did you like the way Nikki was looking at you, Mr. Schneider?” Richard mimicked Nikki’s voice.  
Chris burst into laughter and kissed Richard's cheek. “Is my baby jealous?” He asked, amused.  
Richard pouted aggressively. “You're MY daddy. No one is allowed to look at you that way.”  
Richard's eyes widened when he saw his sippy cup in Chris's hand. Chris put it on the counter and stood between Richard's legs again. “Only your daddy.” He whispered and kissed Richard. Then, pulled away and poured some juice in the sippy cup and handed it to Richard along with the anti-nini pill.  
“Where did you get the cup?” Richard asked quietly after swallowing his pill.  
“It was in the cabinet, sweetie. Why?” He said casually.  
“How did you know it was mine?”  
Chris gave him a look of “oh, please.” Which made Richard blush. Chris brought out the bottle of wine he had bought, put the cap on the edge of the counter, held onto the neck of the bottle and suddenly slammed down hard at the bottle and it opened. Richard jumped at the unexpected loud noise. “Sorry, baby.” He said apologetically and poured some wine into a regular glass.  
“Don't I get wine, daddy?” Richard pouted.  
“Not on your period.” He said firmly. “And I'm not gonna pour wine into your sippy cup, baby. Now let's go to your room. I'm starving.” He said and helped Richard off the counter. They made a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor just the way Richard loved. Richard wanted to be fed but Chris seemed too tired and hungry, so Richard, in his insecurity, didn't say anything. The kebab was indeed perfect and Richard ate all his food while they talked about their day. He excitedly told Chris about naming his dinosaur and how he had spent so much time with boyrex that day at lunchtime. Chris kissed him and told him that he loved the name. Richard was so calm and happy that it was so easy to slip right into little space, and the way Chris talked to him and made sure Richard ate and wiped Richard's mouth and fingers for him, made the process even easier.  
Richard was now being cradled in daddy's arms while drinking his juice. “Daddy?” He asked.  
“Hm?”  
“Have-have you ever had a little before?” He asked quietly. This question was eating away at him for a while now.  
“No, baby. You're my only little. Why do you ask?” He smiled down at Richard.  
“Well… you're so good at taking care of me.” Richard mumbled and avoided Chris's gaze.  
Chris took a minute before replying and it started worrying Richard, and sometimes when he got anxious while in little space, he'd slip right out. “I used to be into role-playing in my relationships. Only in bed though.”  
“Like… like bdsm and stuff?” Richard asked, and blushed when Chris raised both eyebrows at him. “You know about that?”  
“When you look up age regression online, that's like, the first thing that comes up.” Richard shrugged.  
“How do you feel about it?” Chris asked.  
Richard shrugged and felt heat rising up in his neck again. Chris leaned in and kissed his forehead. “You know, baby? At some point, you will have to talk to me about the things you like and dislike.”  
Richard swallowed. “I… I liked what you did to me in the backseat of your car, daddy.” He said in his lowest voice, barely auditable and bit his bottom lip.  
“I liked that, too, sweetheart.” Chris said with a sharp grin. Then he became more serious. “We can play whenever and however you liked, and anything you didn't like, you let me know and it will be absolutely off the table.”  
Richard thought of something. “Ok, then. There's something that I don't like. Will it be off the table?” Richard asked with too much excitement. This could be the solution.  
Chris looked at him skeptically. “What?”  
“You, spending so much money on me, daddy.” Richard replied heatedly.  
Chris suddenly made Richard sit up. “That's not negotiable. I spend money on you as I see fit. What is your problem with that, Richard?” He asked seriously.  
Richard crawled off his lap and sat in front of him. “I'm not with you because of your money. I don't want anyone to think that way.”  
“The fuck with what people think.” He said angrily. “Listen to me, Richard. People are gonna think that way no matter what, that's the hard truth. I don't give a shit what they think. It doesn't change anything between us. People spend money on their partners in every relationship. Why should ours be any different?” He was shouting now.  
“Because I don't have anything to give to you in return.” Richard screamed, and blinked as his tears of fear and anger fell down his eyes. He crawled away from Chris, hugged Mr. Bear and hid under his desk. He hated hated hated being yelled at like that.  
“Baby? Sweetheart, please get out of there. Let's talk. I'm sorry I yelled.” Chris was crouching down in front of him now. His eyes filled with regret. Richard hid his face in his knees and cried into Mr. Bear’s fluffy head. He suddenly felt Chris's arms around him. “You're so so wrong, my sweetheart. You're enough for me, you're more than enough for me. I don't want anything from you. I just want you. Hey, look at me, please.” He said so softly that Richard couldn't resist looking up at his unbelievably handsome face.  
“Making you happy is what I want. Last night at the mall, I was over the moon while watching you so happy. I know you don't want me for my money. Isn't the fact that I know that for sure, enough for you? Why do you care what others think when nothing you do is gonna change their corrupted minds?” He asked softly. Richard sniffled and hid his face in Chris's chest. Chris held him tight. None of them said anything until Richard was calmer and Chris's t-shirt was wet with Richard's tears. “Daddy?”  
“Yes, baby?” Chris asked with too much emotion.  
“At least promise me next time you will ask me before buying me something. And I promise to let you know if I needed anything that I couldn't afford. Please please, this would make me happy.” Richard pleaded.  
Chris sighed and looked down at him. “I will take you shopping from time to time, and whenever we're eating at a restaurant, I'll pay. And if I see something pretty that I want you to have, I'll get it for you as a present. We're gonna have to meet halfway, baby.” He said firmly.  
It was Richard's turn to sigh. This deal at least seemed better than to come home to new bedsheets and groceries and a new mattress that by the looks of it, had cost at least three times more than Richard's rent. “Deal, daddy.” He finally replied.  
“Good, now let's get out of here. My back is killing me.” Chris said and moved from under the table. Richard giggled while crawling out after him. “Daddy's an old man.” He teased.  
“And baby's got a big mouth, what should we do about that?” Chris asked teasingly.  
Richard knew exactly what he wanted to do about that, but wasn't sure how to ask for it. “D-daddy could use baby's mouth.” He said with a shy smile and bit his bottom lip.  
“Daddy would love that, but baby, I don't wanna hurt you. You told me it hurts you when you get horny while bleeding.” He said with concern and pulled Richard in his arms.  
Richard blushed. “It just… it just tingles, daddy. C-can I just do the thing I did in… in your office? I… I really need it.” He felt his breath hitching in his throat.  
Chris's amused smile wasn't much help. “And what did you do in my office?”  
Richard blinked up at him, and looked down again. “Y-you know.”  
Chris went and sat on Richard's bed. “We had lunch that day. Is that what you wanna do now?” He asked casually and took his watch off, put it on the nightstand.  
Richard stood in the middle of his room, helplessly staring at the floor. “Baby, you need to tell daddy exactly what you want and then you can have it.” Chris said.  
Richard swallowed and walked to him, he paused in front of Chris and slowly got down to his knees. Chris fondled Richard's hair and neck. “I… I want dada.” He mumbled without looking up.  
“You want daddy to do what, rainbow?” Chris cooed.  
Richard curled his bottom lip down and stared at Chris's crotch. “Gimme num-num.” He murmured in a bratty manner.  
“You want daddy's num-num?” Chris leaned close and whispered to Richard and gently kissed his temple. Richard nodded. “Ok, baby.” He cooed and began opening his jeans. Richard hummed happily when he saw daddy was slightly hard. He felt a slight twitch in his abdomen but ignored it. He rested his hands on daddy's thighs and leaned in to kiss the head and lick it. “Num num.” He mumbled happily and looked up at daddy and giggled when saw daddy's fond smile. Daddy started running his fingers through Richard's hair who leaned back in and began licking the hard flesh from the root to the tip and humming all the way. He took the head into his mouth and slowly tried to get it in a little at a time and loved the way it made daddy groan and moan. He gagged on it twice and the second time, pulled his head away to breath. Daddy bent his torso and kissed Richard's wet mouth and chin. “Are you ok, baby?”  
“Uhumm.” Richard nodded and took daddy in his mouth again. The perfectionist in him needed to become an expert in this. He took daddy down his throat and constricted it to avoid gagging and began bobbing his head. After a few minutes of enjoying his favorite new activity, he pulled away and began licking the sack which made daddy hiss. “Baby's got a filthy filthy mouth on him… look at you so perfect and cute all for daddy.” Richard hummed and looked up a second to smile at daddy, then got back to bobbing his head on daddy's hard cock. Daddy's fingers in his hair were giving him pleasant goosebumps all over. Richard whined with a full mouth and moved his head faster. Daddy hissed and gripped Richard's hair tighter. Richard felt precum in his mouth before daddy jerked and came. Richard sucked it until it was dry, then looked up at daddy and remembered that last time daddy wanted to see his mouth, so this time Richard went ahead and showed it to him. “Aw, so pretty with cummies in your mouth. Swallow it for me, baby.” Daddy crooned with a smile. Richard obeyed and hummed at daddy and smiled back. Daddy picked him up from the floor and brought him in bed laying him down on his back and began kissing him while his hands wandered around under Richard's Pokémon pajama top. He gently pressed his palm against Richard's tummy and kissed him with more passion. Now, Richard needed to be touched so badly, so he whined.  
“Baby, what? Does your tummy hurt?” Chris asked, worriedly after pulling away.  
“Touch me, dada.” He whined, almost cried.  
Chris kissed him again while slipping his hand slowly in Richard's panties. Richard moaned into the kiss when Chris touched his sensitive clit and began rubbing it. Richard spread his legs and pushed up his hips in a needy way. Chris trailed kisses down his chin and throat and Richard threw his head back as the movement of Chris's fingers became faster and more forceful. He felt a jolt of pain through his tummy but it just added to the sensation and made him whimper. Chris lifted his head and Richard heard his husky voice. “Look at me, baby.” Richard opened his eyes and looked into Chris's eyes. There was nothing but care and affection in them. Richard tightened all his muscles and knew he couldn't hold it any longer.  
“I love you, baby.” Chris whispered while looking deeply into Richard's eyes. Richard's eyes widened and he jerked violently. “I love you so much.” Chris repeated and rubbed Richard's clit faster. Richard gasped as the action and the words made his entire little world crumble. He felt tears pooling in his eyes. “I knew I loved you the first time when you said it to me.” Chris murmured and Richard let go of his tears and before he knew it, he was coming hard and it sent him into another universe. He cried out as more tears fell from his eyes landing on his pillow. Richard was now a shaking crying mess. He quietly sobbed and felt his entire body buzzing with pleasure. “Oh… baby. No.” Chris whispered softly, took his hand out of Richard's underwear and pulled the sobbing mess into his arms. “Y-you wuv me” Richard mumbled between sobs.  
“I do, baby. I do. I'm sorry I didn't say it back the first time. Please don't cry, my love.” Daddy cooed pleadingly.  
Richard, unable to comply, just sobbed harder and clutched to Chris's fully clothed body. “D-dada” He cried.  
“Daddy's here baby. Daddy loves you. It's no reason to cry.” Chris whispered with a smile in his emotional voice.  
“Y-you not know.” Richard sniffled in Chris's chest.  
“What don't I know, rainbow?” Chris asked and gently pulled away to look at Richard, and wiped his tears.  
“You… you not know what you doin’ t’me.” A small hitch left his throat.  
Chris looked at him worriedly. “What am I doing to you, baby?”  
“Olny mama shaid she wuv me. No one elshe.” Richard babbled.  
Chris looked at him with too much love in his deep eyes. At this point, Richard was so deep in little space that he forgot he even had a big side. The only person that had ever told him that she loved him, was his mama, and now Chris. It was such a big deal for Richard that he couldn't process it. Chris pulled him back in his arms and they held onto each other in silence. Richard could feel he was slowly drifting off into a peaceful oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typing baby talk is really difficult and I think I suck at it :))))


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***ANGST AND SMUT***

Friday was fast approaching and Chris was very busy at work with all the meetings and checking out the manufacturing lines of their new products that he and his team of engineers had designed. He had to stay late in his office to make up for the one day he was gonna take off and take Richard to his hometown. Richard on the other hand, was busy with his own school work and they could only talk to each other through texting and phone calls and the one lunch they had together on Wednesday. Chris had missed him terribly and was surprised at himself because there were times during meetings that his mind would just fly away to his pretty baby. Richard would send him photos of everything he was making at school. Paintings, graphic designs, etc. He'd send Chris cute selfies of himself with strange makeups during his acting practices and they would melt Chris's heart.  
On Friday morning, Chris packed a small bag and bought some snacks for the trip. He couldn't remember the last time he was this excited about a relationship. Chris had had a really interesting and fun life, but simple and with no major drama, to be honest. Good schools, good friends, good grades, good and rich parents, studying and working abroad, traveling to most of the world, getting laid, discovering his sexuality, and then there was Richard. Chris couldn't shake the feeling that the kid's life had been a major world of trauma and drama. He knew Richard had depression and anxiety. He hadn't witnessed any signs of depression, but Richard certainly did have anxiety judging by how extremely shy and socially awkward he was, and there was the fact that he'd seek refuge in his little space. Chris had spent hours reading up on that for the past two days and it just made him think that there was still a lot he didn't know about Richard. His reaction when Chris told him that he loved him, was a proof. It was really unsettling to Chris that Richard had only heard ‘I love you’ from his mother and no one else. He was the sweetest most good-hearted person Chris had ever met and he'd been through a lot for who he was. Taking care of Richard was a huge responsibility and Chris couldn't love it more. He had found himself needing to take care of the kid who needed to be taken care of. It was the best match and Chris had every intention of keeping it that way. It wasn't just role-playing, it was what they needed, what Richard needed and Chris loved giving it to him.  
He was smoking and waiting outside of the building that Richard was in. It was raining violently and Chris was worried Richard might catch a cold since he had a tendency to not wear warm jackets, so he had just gone ahead and bought him one online. It was a warm army winter jacket with a bunch of cute patches on it. Chris's favorite one was the rainbow patch on the left side of the chest. He had put it in a gift box and filled the gift box with a lot of m&m and colorful gummy bear packs. He was going to give it to Richard that night. Suddenly the passenger door opened and Richard along with a cold blow got in. “Cold cold cold cold.” He almost shouted. His hair and his spring leather jacket were soaking wet.  
“Aw, baby, let me help you with this.” Chris said with sympathy and helped Richard take his backpack and jacket off and threw them in the back seat. Poor boy was shivering. Chris turned the seat warmers on and hugged Richard, he was so cold. “Sweetheart, you'll get warm in a minute. Are you ok?”  
“C-cold, daddy.” He was shivering in Chris's arms. “Didn't think it'd get so cold.”  
“Baby, it's November, of course, it's cold.” Chris replied. Richard squeaked quietly and after a few minutes, stopping shivering.  
“Ok, now give daddy his kissies before we go.” Chris said and laughed when Richard launched himself at him and bombarded him with kisses.  
“Dada, I missed you.” He said after they parted.  
“I've missed you more, my little rainbow.” Chris replied with a smile and started driving. “Do you have everything you need, baby?”  
“Just Mr. Bear and dada. Don't need anything else.” Richard said and twisted in his seat belt, opened his backpack and sat back in his seat with his stuffie. Chris chuckled fondly and shook his head. “Toothbrush?” He asked.  
Richard blinked at him and replied in a quiet voice and pouted. “I not think it.”  
“Warm clothes?” Chris asked.  
Richard only pouted harder. Chris smiled. “How do you usually pack when you wanna travel?”  
“I-I olny travel one time. I was nine. Mama packed. I olny bring Mr. Bear.” He said. Still pouty.  
Now Chris was sorry he had asked that stupid question. “Where did you travel to, baby?” He tried to change the subject.  
Richard's face blossomed into a beautiful smile. “Prague. Mama saved money for months to take I and Lily.”  
“Lily is your sister? Were you both named after flowers? That's beautiful.” Chris smiled fondly. Richard slightly blushed and nodded.  
“Who came up with Richard?” He asked.  
“I ask mama to name me. It was like I was newborn.” He mumbled and shrugged shyly.  
“Aw, that explains a lot, baby. You're my pretty little baby boy.” Chris joked, and was happy to see that Richard was giggling.  
They drove while Richard spoke about everything he'd been doing for the past two days. He so excitedly told Chris that he had called his friend at the orphanage and told her he was coming with good news, he had also called Sophia and he was hoping he'd get to see her if they had time. He played with Mr. Bear for a while and sang some of his favorite children songs for Chris, and seemed so happy. They stopped for lunch on the road and after that, Richard yawned until he fell asleep. Everything about him was so adorable and cute that Chris couldn't wipe the affectionate smile off his face. After they arrived in the city, Chris used his car’s computer to find the directions to the orphanage so he wouldn't have to wake Richard up. He had booked a hotel but since they didn't have much time, he wanted to see the orphanage first.  
Chris parked the car and looked at Richard, he was so peacefully asleep and looked so damn adorable with his long eyelashes and a thread of his blonde hair in his forehead and his rosy lips parted. Chris unfastened his seat belt and leaned towards him. “Baby? We're here. Wake up, cutie.” He whispered and nuzzled gently to Richard's cheek. Richard hummed and opened his eyes after blinking a couple times. Chris kissed him and they got out of the car. The rain had stopped and the weather was slightly chilly. Chris helped Richard put his jacket on before they walked into the old building. The inside looked even older than the outside. The damp walls were slightly cracked here and there and the weak yellow light wasn't really helping the depressing place. They walked up the dangerously squeaky wooden stairs and entered a large hallway with some rooms, and some of the doors were open. There was sound of children singing and babies crying and people shouting different instructions at each other from different rooms. Chris had always thought that this kind of place was only in the movies but it was real and it was the most inappropriate environment for children!  
“Come, daddy. Mrs. Haug’s office is there.” Richard said and pointed at a room at the end of the hall. He knocked when they were there.  
“Come in.” They entered and Chris saw a woman in her forties sitting behind an old desk. “Richard. Oh, darling.” She smiled happily and got up and hugged Richard. “I wasn't expecting to see you so soon after you've left. How are you?” She asked after they parted. She seemed so delighted to see Richard.  
“I'm great, Mrs. Haug. Here let me introduce you to Mr. Schneider. Mr. Schneider? This is Mrs. Haug. The manager of the home.” Richard introduced them. Chris held out a hand and politely said. “Mrs. Haug? It's nice to meet you.”  
“Julia, please. It's nice to meet you too.” She glanced questioningly at Richard.  
“Oh, um… he's um...m-my boyfriend.” Richard stuttered and blushed.  
Mrs. Haug raised an eyebrow but then smiled. “I'm happy for you, darling.”  
“Thanks. I told him about the home and he agreed to help.” Richard smiled up shyly at Chris.  
“It'd be my pleasure. Would you mind showing me around, Julia?” Chris asked in his most formal tone.  
“Yes, of course. Although, I'm sure Richard could do a better job than me. He's spent a long time helping us here.” She smiled at Richard. “Do you want to see the kids, Richard? They don't shut up about you.” She laughed.  
Richard giggled. “Hell Yeah. I miss them a lot.”  
They all walked down the hall and stopped in front of a door. There was a frustrated female voice coming from the room asking them to listen to her. Mrs. Haug knocked and opened the door. “Sorry, Anna. Hey, guys. Look who's here to see you.” She said to the room and the children looked curiously at her, then she moved to let a happy Richard in. Chris's ears rang with the happy screams of at least ten kids. They ran to Richard and each of them clung to one part of him. Richard giggled and knelt on the floor to hug them. They didn't seem younger than seven. All of them in old worn out clothes. Chris thought it was one of the most beautiful scenes he'd witnessed in his entire life. He'd never seen Richard so happy. He hugged the kids one by one and kissed their faces. They all were excited to show Richard their drawings of him. Richard squeaked happily for each drawing and told them how good they've gotten. They asked Richard, practically begged him, to stay and tell them stories about Berlin and play with them. Richard sat cross-legged with the kids around him and started telling them the story of his first day in Berlin. He seemed to be in little space deeper than ever. He caught Chris's eyes for a moment. Chris swallowed the lump in his throat and they smiled at each other.  
“They love him.” Julia said from next to Chris. “No one can make them behave like Richard can. It's fascinating.” She smiled.  
“What was he doing here exactly?” Chris asked her.  
“Oh, a lot of things. When he started here, he was thirteen, so we couldn't let him supervise the kids. They were still babies. He would read to them, do coloring and painting with them. After a couple years, he started teaching them music. They made a drum set out of pans and pots and Richard had a guitar that his mom bought him. They would play children's songs. Their band was called the cuddle.” She laughed remembering the memory.  
“The cuddle?” Chris laughed loud. They were now walking down the hall.  
“Yeah, Richard liked this American band called the kiss, so it was inspired by them. They called their fans the cuddle army.” She said and they both laughed affectionately.  
“They had fans?” He asked.  
“Other kids and some dolls. Those days made me love my job, to be honest. Richard tried his best to help us financially but of course, it was difficult and we didn't expect him to. He didn't show up for a long while after Dahlia passed away.” She became more serious.  
“His mom?”  
“Yes, do you know about that?” She asked.  
“I do.”  
“I'm glad he's found you. He deserves happiness after everything he's been through.” She gave Chris a sad smile.  
“What do you mean?” Chris asked.  
“I'm not sure if he'd want me to tell you, Mr. Schneider, I'm sorry.” She replied apologetically. She was right and Chris would rather hear about Richard's past only from him.  
“You're right. He trusts you. Now if you're willing, we can talk business.” He suggested.  
“Of course.”  
“How many children do you house in here?” Chris asked and gestured around.  
“Around twenty. We've recently gotten three infants. They are a handful, and very expensive. Our budget is extremely limited and the money we get from the church is certainly not sufficient. I can show you all the paperwork.” She said.  
“It's not just the matter of money for taking care of the kids. This place doesn't seem appropriate for sheltering orphans.” Chris said straightforwardly.  
“Getting food and clothes and some blankets is my priority, to be honest. I can't think of renovating this place even in my wildest dreams.” She smiled pensively.  
Chris thought for a moment. “What if you could move in to a new place?”  
“I don't understand.”  
“This building is huge. It's worth renovating, and it'd be the perfect home for your kids. Would you be willing to stay in a smaller rental place while I renovate this place for you?” Chris asked.  
Julia's mouth fell open as she blinked at Chris in disbelief. “Y-you can do that?”  
“Of course. You find the appropriate place for rental and arrange a meeting with the landlord. I'll send my lawyer to take care of it, I'd love to do it myself but I'm very busy so forgive me. I already asked Richard to make me a list of everything you might need. I'll tell him to consult with you before giving me the final draft. I can hold a fundraising party, I know a lot of people who would be willing to help.” Chris finished explaining.  
She didn't say anything for a few moments. “When Richard said you want to help, I thought he meant buying the kids clothes and toys. I certainly didn't expect a dream come true. This is huge, Mr. Schneider. This is going to change these kids’ lives. I don't know how to thank you.” She said seriously.  
“No need to thank me. I'm glad I can help.” Chris replied. He was feeling slightly uncomfortable for the adoration in the woman's voice. He wasn't really doing anything special in his own opinion. He was making a lot of money, it only seemed reasonable to give some of it away to others who might need it.  
“Then at least I think the kids should know who to be grateful to. Would you like to meet them?” She said sincerely.  
“Mrs. Haug, I don't think that's necessary, and I'm not very good with kids so… I'd appreciate it if we could skip that part.” Chris said apologetically.   
“Of course. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable.”  
“Thank you. I'll give you my assistant’s contact info. You can let her know when you find a place.” Chris said and reached into his pocket to get his wallet and gave her Francis’s card.  
“I honestly don't know how to thank you. You're a good man.” She said.  
“What you're doing here is very humane. I'm just glad I met Richard and now I can have a little part in it.” Chris said sincerely. They spoke for a while more and walked around the place. They went back to the room Richard was in, and saw him playing Choo Choo train with the kids. Richard was flushed with happiness and Chris thought that Richard wouldn't notice if he just took off. He stood in the door frame leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest and watched Richard with a fond smile.   
Julia walked into the room facing the kids. “Ok, guys time for your afternoon nap.”  
Richard's shout of a pouty no was louder than all of them and it made Chris laugh. Richard looked at Chris pleadingly. “Please please, five more minutes.”  
“Baby, the kids need to rest. It's not the last you see each other. I promise.” Chris told him.  
“M’kay.” Richard mumbled and began saying goodbye to the kids and promised to visit as often as possible and promised to bring them presents next time. After they all hugged and kissed Richard one by one, their teacher took them to another room for their nap. Then, Julia and Richard said goodbye and they left.  
Chris wrapped an arm around a pouty Richard while they were walking down the stairs. “Baby, don't pout. I promise you'll see them more often. I'll take you whenever you like.”  
“Really, daddy?” He looked up with hopeful eyes.  
Chris kissed his forehead. “Really, baby.”  
“How did it go with Mrs. Haug, daddy?” He asked.  
Chris explained his plans after they got into his car and Richard stared at him with an open mouth. He leaned in and hugged Chris. “You're the best person, daddy. I love you so much.”  
Chris hugged him back. “No, you're the best, baby. And I love you more.”  
“I'm not the one giving them a new home.” Richard whispered.  
“That's just money, sweetheart. You give them happiness and I'm so incredibly proud of you and I'm glad you told me about this place.” Chris kissed Richard's temple. “Now what do you wanna do? We can go to the hotel and rest, or we can go sightseeing. Whatever you want.”  
Richard pulled away from him and started playing with his sleeves. “Actually… I want to go see mama if… if that's ok.”  
Chris smiled at him lovingly. “Of course, it's ok. Let's go.”  
Chris drove to the cemetery with the help of the map and Richard wanted to buy her mom some flowers. Chris stopped on the way and Richard got three roses and when Chris wanted to reach for his wallet, Richard begged him not to and said he needed to buy them with his own money. After they arrived at the cemetery, Richard took the flowers and his backpack along with Mr. Bear and Chris followed Richard to his mother's grave. It was a very small grey stone which only said “Dahlia Kruspe 1976-2013”  
“Hi, mama. Reeshy’s here.” Richard said, smiling. He sat cross-legged on the grassed ground. Chris thought it'd be best to give him some privacy. He stayed back and lit up a cigarette and watched Richard. He knew he was being nosy but he couldn't help but listen to what Richard was saying. The kid put his bear stuffie on the grave. “Mr. Bear wanted to see you, too.” Richard said. “And I brought you roses. I know you love rose pedals, mama.” He said and began pulling pedals off the flowers putting them on the stone. “I'm doing great at school. You would love Berlin, mama. It's so amazing.” Then he paused and Chris heard his broken voice. “I miss you, mama…. I hope you're having fun in heaven. I bet you're an angel now.” He sniffled. He was crying. Chris felt his heart getting torn apart. “I know you are, mama. Because I saw you in my dream the other night and you had big white wings. I know you'll always be Reeshy’s guardian angel.” He whispered in a broken voice and bent his torso to kiss the stone. Chris squeezed his eyes with his fingers and tried to swallow the heavy lump in his throat. “Let me show you my drawing. I drew an angel-mama.” He said and there was a smile in his voice. He reached for his backpack to…  
“Rosy?” Chris heard a man's voice from behind him and turned around. He had a long beard and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. The man walked unsteadily to Richard who had a horrified expression on his wet-with-tears face. “I missed you, Rosy. I was gonna come find you after I said hi to the ol’ lady.” Chris didn't like the situation. He walked fast to Richard who was glued to his spot.  
“Come give your old man a hug.” He shouted drunkenly. Richard's eyes were wide and he seemed paralyzed. The guy went down on his knees next to Richard who suddenly jerked. “P-please. N-no.” He stuttered, terrified.  
“Hey hey hey, get away from him.” Chris said and pulled Richard up on his feet. Richard went and hid behind him.  
“Who the fucka you to tell me to get away from my own daughter?” He shouted and zigzagged to get to Richard who mewled in fear. Chris clutched to the guy’s dirty shirt and knocked him on the ground. His bottle of whiskey flew and landed next to him.  
“Listen you shit, you don't look like the type who'd like the cops. Get lost and I won't call them.” Chris snarled.  
The guy tried to sit up. “Ain't no cop gonna tell me not to see my daughter.”  
“He's not your daughter. He's no one's ‘daughter’, now fuck off.” Chris hissed.  
“Who's this, Rosy, huh? Now everyone knows you're a fuckin freak? You disgusting shameful bi-” Chris kicked the guy square in the jaw before he could finish his sentence. He picked him up and yelled in the guy's bloody face. “WALK. THE FUCK. AWAY” He hissed in a low voice and pushed him again. “Before I tear you limb from limb.” He added in the same tone.  
He got up with difficulty and took several steps back from Chris and shouted while walking away. “I'll find you, Rosy. I'll fuckin fix you. You know I know how.”  
Chris went to Richard who was still glued to the spot with shocked wide eyes and looked dangerously pale. Chris took him in his arms. “It's over, baby. He's not coming back.” He whispered. Richard let out a quiet sob and his body began trembling with adrenaline. “Shhh… it's alright, baby. I've got you. You're safe. Let's go to the hotel and you can rest, ok?” Chris said softly. Richard was still shaking all over by the time Chris helped him to his car. He just stared into space with wide eyes filled with terror. Chris had one eye on him during the whole drive and by the time they checked in at the hotel, Richard wasn't looking any better. Chris left everything in his car and just took Richard to their room. He was clutching to his stuffie like his life depended on it. Chris laid Richard on the bed and took his shoes off and sat next to him. The kid looked like dead. Chris was seriously worried. “Sweetheart? Talk to me. Do you need anything?” He whispered in a low voice.  
“He'll come for me.” Richard said in a broken voice and his breath hitched. He was beginning to tremble again, his chest going madly up and down, cold sweat falling down from his temples. He whizzed and looked like he couldn't breathe. “No, no one's gonna hurt you, baby. Calm down, it's ok.” Chris knew he was babbling a bunch of meaningless words. Obviously, Richard was having a panic attack. He wheezed more and clutched to his heart. His pupils were blown wide with adrenaline.  
“Richard? It's ok. You're safe, baby. Breathe with me… look at me… look into my eyes and concentrate… breathe… in… out… in… out….” Chris kept the rhythm like that in a low voice without blinking until Richard was breathing in and out with fewer hitches. His pupils were slowly going back to normal. “Good baby. You're doing great.” Chris encouraged him and breathed with him again. The worst part seemed to be over but then Chris saw tears pooling in Richard's eyes and he began sobbing uncontrollably. Chris quickly lay next to him and took him into his arms and let the kid sob into his chest while Chris could only run his fingers through Richard's hair and tell him that he would protect him with everything he had. Richard sobbed until he was drained. They stayed like that for a long while. With the adrenaline gone, Richard seemed tired and worn out. Chris gently stroked his back and played with his hair until he fell asleep. Chris held him in his arms for another hour and tried to process everything. Richard's reaction to his father was so extreme that it scared Chris of the things he might have done to Richard in the past. All Chris knew, was that his parents divorced when he was four and that his father didn't like him very much after his transition. Those were Richard's exact words, but now they seemed like a small portion of the truth.  
After Richard's hands let go of Chris's shirt, he gently pulled away and rolled off the bed. He quietly tiptoed out of the room and quickly went to his car to get his duffle bag and Richard's backpack. When he was back, Richard was still sound asleep. Chris stood by the window to smoke while keeping an eye on him. After a few minutes, Richard stirred in his sleep and Chris rushed to his side. He opened his eyes and was looking at Chris expressionlessly.  
“How are you feeling, my love?” He whispered while pushing the hair off Richard's face.  
Richard only sighed.  
“Reeshy? Sweetheart, would you like to take a shower? I think it might help you, baby.” Chris suggested in his softest tone.  
Richard nodded.  
“Would you like to take one by yourself or with daddy?” Chris asked and kissed Richard's forehead.  
“No, don't weave me, daddy.” He quietly whined.  
“Of course, I won't, baby. Come on, let's get you in the shower.” He said with a smile and helped Richard into the bathroom. “Aw, look, baby. There's a tub. You want daddy to bathe you?”  
Richard nodded again. Chris smiled and switched the hot water on to fill the tub. He saw mini-sized bubble shampoos and poured one into the tub. He went back to Richard who was standing there looking lost and unprotected. Chris helped him take his jacket and t-shirt off, and then asked for Richard's permission to take his binder off, then knelt in front of him and unzipped his jeans. He smiled broadly when he saw that Richard was wearing the baby pink panties he'd gotten for him which had the writing on them. ‘daddy kisses me here.’ Chris leaned forward and left a small kiss on the fabric of the panties and looked up at Richard. He was blushed darkly. “Did you wear these for daddy?” He asked softly.  
Richard nodded and bit his lips in embarrassment. “Daddy misses kissing you here, baby.” He whispered and took them gently off Richard revealing his beautiful little parts. Of course, he wasn't planning on touching Richard in that way until Richard was ready. Chris gently pulled the cotton string of the tampon out of him and got up. After discarding it in the trash, he sat Richard down on the toilet. “Do you want me to go so you can pee, baby?” He asked. Richard shook his head frantically, afraid of being alone. Chris went and knelt in front of him again. “Can you do it while daddy's here?”  
Richard curled his bottom lip down and breathed through his nose while tears welled his pretty eyes again. Chris gently wrapped one arm around Richard's shoulder and the other arm, he wrapped around Richard's waist. The boy was rigid in his arms. “Daddy's here, rainbow. Daddy loves you. You're safe. You can let go, it's alright.” He whispered. Aware of how weird it could be to anyone outside of this relationship. Richard wrapped his arms around Chris and finally let go. Chris heard him peeing into the toilet and couldn't help but feel more intimate with Richard than ever. Richard quietly whined when he was done relieving himself. Chris kissed his temple and gently pulled away to take his own clothes off. First, he took Richard into the shower and washed between his legs from the blood, then took him into the tub. He sat in first and had Richard lay against his chest. He pressed his lips against Richard's temple and ran his hands up and down Richard's arms. “I'm here for you if you ever wanted to talk about it, sweetheart.”  
Richard didn't reply. They stayed like that for about half hour. “I thought he was still in prison.”  
Richard's sudden words startled Chris. He thought Richard had fallen asleep again. “He's probably out because of overcrowding. Happened before.” He added in the same quiet and pensive voice.  
“Baby? The water is getting cold. Let's wash up and get out and tell me the rest, ok? I want to hear everything.”  
Richard nodded.  
They washed up and Chris dried both of them, then helped Richard with a new tampon and when he wanted to put his panties back on him, Richard stopped him. “I… I don't want clothes now, daddy.” He mumbled shyly and looked away. Chris complied and took him into bed. Richard lay on his stomach and Chris lay next to him. His head was away from Chris when he started talking in a small voice again.  
“Mama and he got divorced because he was a drug dealer. He was also abusive at home, he would beat mama to get to Lily and me but mama always tried to protect us and sometimes failed. When I was eleven, one day he came and begged mama to let him take Lily and me out to have fun during the weekend. He cried so mama and I felt bad and I agreed to go. Lily was out of town with her boyfriend. He took me to his place and gave me presents and we had pizza for dinner and watched cartoons together and he said he was sorry for everything. I told him that I forgive him. The next morning, he asked me if I would help him with something. He said only I could save him from something very dangerous. I agreed to help. We drove off to somewhere outside the city and he stopped the car when he saw this black van. We got out and I asked him what was going on. A big man got out of the van with two other guys behind him. The guy asked my father about me. My father told the guy that his other daughter was out of town and he'll bring her later. I understood from their conversation that he owed the guy a lot of money and he was going to give me to the guy to even out his debts. Later, I found out that the guy was a drug lord and a rapist. I cried and begged father not to do this to me, I begged him but he just watched them taking me away. They threw me at the back of the van and drove. I was looking desperately for a way to save myself. I found out that I could open the van's trunk and jump out. I didn't even think about the other cars on the road or how fast the van was driving. The music in the car was loud enough for them not to hear me. I did it in five seconds. I jumped out and broke my arm. I was in the middle of nowhere and I was so cold. The road was deserted so I walked for hours until I found a gas station and passed out before getting to explain anything. I woke up in an emergency room. The gas station manager had taken me there. I gave them mama's number and she came and got me. Mama sued father and he was arrested for drug dealing and human trafficking and child abuse, couple days after that, the drug lord and his people were arrested. Father got out when I was fifteen and in the middle of my therapy. I didn't even know he was out until the day he showed up after school and kidnapped me. He locked me in his basement and said that I owed him money because of what I did. He said he went through a lot in prison because I got away four years ago. He also knew about my coming out. He said he was going to beat the freak out of me. He would beat me, then leave me for hours and beat me again. I was hungry, thirsty, terrified and in a lot of pain. It was dark in the basement and I've always been afraid of the dark. He kept me there for three or four days. The last thing I remember is him kicking me in my tummy until I passed out. When mama found out he was out of prison, she knew he had taken me. The cops broke into his house and arrested him. I woke up in a hospital after four days. I had three broken ribs, internal bleeding and a concussion. Mama was too sick to come to the hospital. Sophia and Julia took turns in staying with me at the hospital. Mama was gone four months after that. I was on meds for depression and anxiety from thirteen to sixteen. When mama was gone, I-I didn't want to live anymore. My depression and anxiety levels were the highest they'd ever been. I took the entire bottle of my antidepressant thinking it could help me get rid of depression all at once. It wasn't enough. I… I tried to slash my wrists but I was sick from the meds and couldn't cut deep enough. The doctors saved me and after that, Sophia helped me a lot. I'd still be suicidal if it weren't for her and later, I went back to the orphanage and those kids helped me get my life slightly back together. I aced the last year of high school even though I was working three different day jobs. Oma wasn't going to help me financially. Mama had left me some insurance and retirement money but I wanted to keep that for college. I only told Julia and Sophia about getting admitted to the university. I asked them not to tell anyone because I didn't want father to find out. I didn't even tell oma. I just said goodbye to her and took off.” Richard trailed off. Chris didn't know what to say or do. He had never heard such horrible life story. Richard didn't deserve any of it. Before Chris could think of a response, Richard spoke again. His face still away from Chris. “Then I met you… and you know everything after that. I… I fell so madly in love with you. But the thing is… I know I'm troubled and being with me is not a picnic. I'm mentally ill and I literally don't have anything to give to you. I get stuck in little space and my brain shuts down for days and I'm nothing but a helpless baby in that state. I get panic attacks and I have nightmares sometimes. I'm not mentally stable, Mr. Schneider. I could be bad for you. Now you know everything about me and If… if you leave right now, I'd feel better than if you regret me and leave me six months from now. Just leave right now.” He finished talking. Chris looked at the back of Richard's head and ran his eyes down the perfect naked figure. He got out of the bed and circled it to get to Richard's side. Richard rolled on his back and blinked up at Chris. Chris knelt between Richard's bent up knees, leaned forward, laced their fingers together on the sides of Richard's head. “Are you sure you're madly in love with me?” He whispered, towering over Richard who nodded.  
“You wanna know a secret?” Chris asked, smiling. Richard nodded.  
“I've never been happier than I've been since I met you. And I'm madly in love with you too, little boy. I ain't goin’ nowhere.” Chris assured him.  
“Daddy?” Richard whispered.  
“Yes, rainbow?”  
“Kiss me please.” He said pleadingly and Chris's heart had no choice but to comply happily. He began kissing his love and felt Richard's legs wrapping around his waist. Chris moved his arms and pinned Richard's above his head and trailed kisses on the soft skin of his neck and ear. Richard hummed and turned his head away to give him more access. Chris let go of Richard's wrists and whispered in his ear. “Keep them there for me, baby.” Richard moaned when Chris slowly went down and sucked small bruises on Richard's muscular stomach and kissed each of them after creating them. He deliberately ignored Richard's chest, even though, he really loved to kiss him and touch him there as well. But baby steps! He moved slowly down, leaving gentle kisses under Richard's bellybutton where he whispered. “Baby, does your tummy hurt?”  
“No, dada.” Richard replied in his mumbly little voice. Chris kissed Richard's soft and shaved pubic area and then his thighs, then moved back between his legs and gently sucked his clit. He softly pulled out the tampon and dropped it on the floor. He could smell the blood and knew that he would taste it and feel it soon. He licked up the wet slit and Richard squirmed under him. The irony taste of blood was driving Chris crazy. He licked and sucked his clit again and again and his ears were filled with Richard's pretty whines. Richard was so sensitive and needy at the moment that it didn't take him long to come. When he did, Chris kissed his way back up to give Richard time to get his breathing under control. He kissed Richard's mouth to share his heavenly taste with him and Richard whined and kissed back passionately and needily. Chris looked down at the pretty little hot mess he had made of Richard. “Baby? Are you ready for daddy to be inside you with nothing in between us?” Chris asked.  
Richard moaned at the words. “Please, daddy.”  
Chris kissed his cheek and pulled his own hips up, slipped his hand between them to grab his cock and gently enter Richard. It was incredibly hot and wet and Chris hissed at the pleasure while Richard moaned. He began moving through blood and wetness and held Richard's arms above his head as Richard's legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. Chris moved slowly in and out, wanting to savor the pleasure forever. He kissed Richard everywhere he could reach except for his chest, and enjoyed his small whines and moans. After god knows how long, he heard Richard. “Dada, pwease… pwease… “ He cried out quietly.  
Chris looked down at him. “Please what, baby?”  
“I-I need you… to… go harder. Pwease… “ He whined as his cheeks were being decorated with blushing.  
“Baby wants daddy to fuck him hard?” Chris asked with a teasing smile and stopped moving when he was buried deep inside Richard.  
Richard cried out loudly and his insides tightened around Chris. “Yes, dada. D-don’t stop pwease.”  
“Whatever baby wants, baby gets.” Chris said and knelt up between Richard's legs, clutched to his thighs and surged back in. He powered up his thrusts and was now madly fucking Richard. Richard was a moaning mess. He was the beauty itself squirming under Chris with his arms above his head and his legs spread wide open. The sight drove Chris out of his mind and the thought of coming inside his little angel along with how Richard's hole went into a heavy contraction as he came again, finished him. Richard went quiet and gasped when Chris filled him up and groaned. He waited until Richard's contractions finished and gently pulled out and lay next to him propped up on one elbow. Richard was still breathing hard when Chris snuck his hand between Richard's legs and began rubbing two fingers against his clit. Richard cried out to the touch. “You can come for daddy one more time, can't you, baby?” Chris whispered against Richard's lips and tapped on his clit and rubbed it harder. Richard spread his legs and whined.  
“I know you can. You're my pretty rainbow. You'll make daddy proud, won't you, baby?” Chris whispered and kissed Richard's throat. Richard groaned and threw his back as his hips were being pushed up. Chris looked down at Richard's sprawled out body. “Daddy loves your pretty little button. It makes my baby squirm and moan for me when I press it like this. But it won't be a button for long, baby boy. It's gonna be your beautiful little penis in a couple months and I'm gonna love it so much.” Chris whispered to him and tapped his fingers hard on Richard's clit and pressed against it. Richard gasped and moaned.  
“Dada… please please…” He cried out and scratched against the headboard.  
“Show daddy how much you love him, baby. Come for me, sweetheart.” Chris encouraged him and Richard breathed deeply as he went quiet and motionless again as he came. Richard's chest was heaving when Chris finally let go. His fingers were bloody and his cock was bloody as well, but luckily there were no stains on the sheets. Chris quickly got up and fetched Richard a new tampon and disposed the old one, before washing his cock and hands. He poured some water on a washcloth and cleaned between Richard's legs as well. The thought of his semen inside Richard gave him a pleasant twitch. He took his worn out baby in his arms and kissed him. “Daddy's proud of you, baby. For everything. I want you to know that.” Chris whispered and kissed him again. Richard hummed and clung to him.  
“You could use a nap, my little boy. I'll wake you up when it's time for dinner, ok?”  
“M’kay, dada. Wuv you.” He mumbled with his eyes already closed.  
“I love you more, rainbow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!

Chris felt a slight movement beside him and cracked his eyes open. Richard was quietly humming in his sleep and he slowly climbed on top of Chris burying his face in Chris's neck. Chris smiled and held him in his arms and kissed his neck. 

“Dada?” Richard mumbled in his ear. 

“Yes, baby?” Chris replied softly. 

“Please pat my head.” He pleaded. Chris smiled and ran his fingers through Richard's soft hair and occasionally patted his head. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” 

He mumbled something that Chris couldn't hear, so he just held him tighter and kissed his neck again. 

“Talk to me, baby.” Chris whispered softly. 

“C-can we go, daddy?” He said quietly. 

“Go where, little prince?” Chris asked. 

Richard lifted his head up and looked down into Chris's eyes. “If he finds me, he'll beat me again. Please let's go. Please, daddy.” He begged with tears in his blue eyes and looked scared again. 

Chris's heart skipped a beat at the terrified look in Richard's eyes. He looked like he was about to have another panic attack. Chris kissed him gently and of course, obliged to Richard's wish. “Sweetheart, of course we'll leave right now. Whatever you want, but baby, there's absolutely nothing he can do to you under my watch. Ok? You're safe.” He said softly. 

Richard stared down at him, a little reassured. He nodded. They got up and Chris gathered their clothes. He picked up Richard's chest binder and hesitated, not sure if he should say this to Richard. He was really worried about Richard's physical health in that dangerously tight piece of clothing. He turned to face Richard who was already looking at him and the binder. Richard blinked at him, waiting. 

“Let's get you dressed, little man.” He decided not to say anything. He helped Richard into his binder and then dressed him. 

After they both were dressed, Chris decided to give Richard the gift he'd gotten him, maybe that could cheer his little up which it did. Richard opened the box and squeaked for at least ten seconds and happily wore the army jacket and thanked Chris with so many sweet little kisses. He wanted to bring all the gummy bear and m&m packs with him in the car but Chris allowed him only one pack of each. He didn't need his baby high on sugar in a closed box which was his car! Richard seemed calmer and more composed when they were finally out of his city and on the road. He was hugging Mr. Bear while eating gummy bears and calling them “gum gums” because he didn't want to scare Mr. Bear into thinking that Richard would eat little bears. Chris could handle anything but the amount of cute in Richard was just too much! 

They were driving on the dark road when Richard suddenly gasped and sat upright and it nearly made Chris drive off the road. “What happened? Are you ok?” Chris almost shouted in panic. 

“I… I just remembered that it's Friday and Fridays are my shot days, daddy. All clinics are closed now. I have to go and get my shot in a hospital.” Richard said apologetically. 

Chris realized that Richard was talking about his testosterone shot. “Ok, do you have your prescription? We can go to the drug store and get them for you and I can give you your shot if it's ok with you.” 

“I already have them. I get four ampules and four syringes each month. Y-you know how to do it, daddy?” Richard asked, somewhat fascinated. 

Chris smiled and nodded. “I do, baby. We can go to your place and you get them, then we go back to my apartment. Only if you would like to spend the night with daddy.” 

“I want to spend all nights with daddy, but I have first day of work tomorrow and my dorm is closer to it.” Richard said in a quiet pouty tone. 

Chris took Richard's hand in his and kissed it. “I'll drive you to work tomorrow morning, sweetheart. Anything else?” 

Richard gave him a brilliant beautiful smile and shook his head. They drove until they were finally back in Berlin. Chris stopped by Richard's dorm and waited for him to go get his stuff for the night and for tomorrow. After that, Chris drove to his apartment and when they were finally there, he changed Richard into his shorts and tanktop. 

“Baby, I'm gonna make some dinner then I'll give you your shot. Do you want to watch a movie while I cook?” Chris asked him. Richard nodded happily. 

“Ok, what does baby want to watch?” Chris asked as he was turning his TV on and looked for the Amazon Fire TV remote control. 

“The good dinosaur, daddy. The dinosaur looks like boyrex. He's so pretty.” Richard said happily and sat cross-legged on the sofa with Mr. Bear in his lap. Chris chuckled at Richard's excited tone and searched for the asked movie and bought it online and played it. He went to the kitchen and cooked while watching Richard. The kid was a distracting sight. He was so cute getting all worked up over the movie. He would cheer and squeak and clap when the little boy and the dinosaur in the movie became friends. Chris had some ready to cook Spätzle which he made with cheese and after it was ready, they ate. In fact, Richard was staring at the TV with huge eyes and Chris was feeding him while eating his own food. After dinner, Richard snuggled to him and became very emotional and even cried a little during the ending of the movie. 

“Dada, I miss boyrex.” He sniffled and buried his face in Chris's chest. 

“Aw, baby. You'll see him tomorrow after work. It's ok.” Chris said soothingly. “Isn't it time for your shot, sweetheart?” He tried to distract him. 

Richard nodded, still pouting heavily. Chris kissed him and told him to go get his ampules and he, himself, went to get the first aid kit.

_________________

Richard sat nervously on the sofa waiting for daddy. He was still a little bit shook from the events of that day, but daddy sure knew how to handle him. Richard remembered them being completely naked in the bathtub and daddy not touching his chest at all. Richard was so incredibly thankful for that. But there was also a small part of him that needed to be touched there, but the rest of him was afraid and extremely dysphoric about that body part. Seeing father… brought everything back and Richard was so afraid that his core was still shaking, but daddy helped a lot. Richard didn't know what he would do without this man and it'd been only a few weeks. He couldn't stop thinking about that dark basement where he got beaten up for days. He knew those memories would haunt him forever. Before going further down, his mind decided to shove him into a deep little space where he felt a little bit safer. 

____________

Chris came back with the first aid kit. Richard was curled on one side of the couch holding Mr. Bear so tight like his life depended on it and sucking his thumb nervously. One ampule and a syringe were on the coffee table. Chris sat next to him and gently patted his head. Richard glanced at Chris and sucked his thumb with more aggression. “Are you ready, baby?” Chris asked him. He nodded. 

“Where do you get the injection?” Chris asked him. Richard stretched his right leg on the coffee table and put his finger on his thigh. 

“Daddy has a magic numbing agent that will make it absolutely painless.” Chris told him. Richard's eyes grew round in curiosity and he stopped sucking his thumb, and just kept it into his mouth. Chris smiled at him and picked up the syringe, ripped open the package and then broke the ampule, got it ready and put it on the table, then he opened the first aid box and coated a cotton ball with some medical alcohol. Richard was carefully watching him the whole time. The whole thing felt like it was a big deal. Chris knew it was a big deal to Richard because he was letting him into the most personal experience of his life. He slowly bent over Richard's lap and kissed the spot Richard had pointed at. Then came back up and looked into his beautiful eyes. “Daddy's kisses will make it better.” He said and smiled when Richard's eyes lit up. He gently pressed the cotton ball there and held the syringe and injected it into Richard's leg and slowly pushed it down and began emptying it into his muscle. “You're doing a great job, baby boy. Daddy's so proud of you.” He said. Richard didn't make any noises and just stared at Chris the whole time. Chris slowly pulled out the syringe and pressed the cotton ball on the spot just to be safe. But luckily there was no blood. “All done.” He announced with a smile. Richard quietly crawled in his lap and curled there with his stuffie tight in his arms and his thumb still in his mouth. Chris held him and kissed his hair before murmuring to him. “Do you know how much I'm proud of you for being so brave about everything?” 

Richard shook his head, so Chris continued. “You're so young and so little and yet you're a lot tougher and braver than half the adults I've ever met. I can't tell you how proud that makes me. I love you, baby boy.” He said with complete honesty. Everything Richard had gone through was very unsettling and rattling and yet there he was managing his life all on his own in a whole new city and a whole new life. It got Chris thinking, could he have ever done what Richard was doing? The answer was probably no, which was all the more reason for Chris to happily do everything in his power to make the rest of Richard's life at least a little bit easier. Don't get him wrong, it was not out of pity or anything like that. Richard may have been the little one in the relationship who needed taking care of, but Chris had to admit to himself that he, himself, was the one who needed this kid in his life. He inhaled the incredible scent of Richard's hair and kissed him again. Richard looked up at him. Innocent eyes wide and his cheeks dusted pink and his perfect rosy lips wrapped tightly around his thumb. He finally let go of his thumb and clung to Chris's shirt to snuggle closer to him. He planted a tentative and shy kiss on Chris's cheek. “I wuv daddy too.” Then he just batted his eyes at Chris with a smile. Chris, utterly smitten, chuckled and hugged Richard tightly. “What do you say we brush our teeth and go to bed, little boy? You have a big day tomorrow.” 

“I say yes, daddy.” He replied sleepily and with that, Chris cleaned up the table and got rid of the used syringe. They went to his bedroom and after peeing and brushing their teeth, they went to bed with Mr. Bear and Richard spooned in daddy's arms. 

____________

Richard woke up with excitement and of course, his thumb still in his mouth. It wasn't like him to wake up without an alarm going off, but that morning he was really excited about starting his new job. A job where he was completely dressed and no one would touch him inappropriately. He remembered daddy giving him his shot last night. Richard always hated needles so much and his weekly appointments at the clinic were a nightmare. The only thing motivating him into doing the shots were because without that magical substance, he would get extremely dysphoric and depressed. But the way daddy did it last night, felt so personal and important. Richard was still snuggled against Chris so he looked up at daddy's beautiful face and kissed his jaw. Daddy sighed in his sleep and wrapped his arms tighter around Richard. 

“Daddy?” He whispered quietly. Chris's eyelashes moved but he didn't. “Daddy, wake up. Reeshy has work.” Richard whispered a little louder. Chris groaned but didn't open his eyes. It was obvious that he was awake. Richard smiled mischievously. “Oh, daddy's asleep. I better go eat the rest of the gum gums and m&ms for breakfast.” He said and attempted to move from under Chris's arms, but Chris chuckled with his eyes closed and squeezed Richard in his arms. “That's not gonna happen.” He said in a hoarse voice and opened his eyes. “You're up early.” He said with a smile. 

“Reeshy happy, daddy. First day of work.” He said excitedly. Chris smiled and held Richard to himself and rolled on top of him to kiss his neck then, his earlobe. “Let's get you ready for your first day, baby.” 

They got up and Chris sent Richard to shower and told him he'll make breakfast. After that, they got ready and he drove Richard to work. He told Richard that he'll pick him up after work. Richard walked in and went behind the counter area and looked for the manager. He asked the first person he saw. 

“Hi! I'm Richard. The new barista. I'm looking for Andy.” He said and tried to sound as adult as possible. 

The guy wasn't that much older than Richard. He was lean and brunette and had a bunch of tattoos on his arms and a big round earing. He eyed Richard up and down with a raised eyebrow and smiled. “Hey, I'm Jake. Andy's my brother. He said we're having a new intern barista. I'm the manager on weekends.” They shook hands. 

“So why do you wanna work here?” Jake asked him. 

“I quit my last job and need a new one.” He replied. 

“Yeah? What was your last job?” He asked as they walked to the employee's locker area. 

“I was a bartender and a dancer at mutschmanns.” He replied. 

Jake turned to him with a bigger smile and now both eyebrows raised. “Mutschmanns, huh? Why did you quit? That was probably good money.” 

Richard blushed before answering. “I'm a student, so working at night was a bit of a problem. Plus, my boyfriend didn't really want me to work there.” He shrugged. 

“And you listened to him like a good boy?” He asked sarcastically. 

Richard frowned. “It was hurting my studies. That's why I quit.” He said coldly. 

Jake gave him a dark green apron and laughed. “Hey, I'm just kidding, man. I get it. I wouldn't want you to shake it in front of strangers if I were your boyfriend.” He said and looked shamelessly at Richard's body. “Here, let me help you with the apron.” He said and walked behind Richard and grabbed the laces of the apron wrapping it around Richard's waist and tied it up in the front. Richard stood still and felt extremely uncomfortable. Jake moved and smiled at Richard again. “Ok, come on. I'll give you a tour and then Amy teaches you how to work with the espresso machine.” He said in a more casual tone and proceeded to show Richard around. 

As the day went by, Richard felt better and his excitement was mostly back. He liked everyone and was learning fast. It was a couple hours after the lunch break when he was taking orders from the customers and writing names on the cups. 

“Medium Latte, with cream and my pretty boy on top, please.” Richard heard the next customer and looked up. It was Chris! 

“Daddy!” Richard whispered quietly and surprised. “What are you doing here?” He asked happily. 

Chris smiled as he proceeded to pay for his drink. “Till wanted to meet me, and I thought why not here where I can also see you.” He smiled and slipped a fifty on the counter. “But, please make that two drinks. Till is here.” 

Richard put the orders in and slipped the money back to Chris. “It's my treat, Mr. Schneider.” He said with a mischievous grin. “It's baby's territory. Daddy won't pay here.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Chris raised both eyebrows in amusement. Richard nodded and made a stupid face at Chris who chuckled. 

“Two lattes, ready.” Amy, the current barista shouted from the other end of the counter. Richard gave Chris the printed receipt. 

“When will I get my baby on top of the cream?” Chris asked, grinning. 

Richard blushed and looked around, making sure no one could hear them. Chris laughed again and took the receipt and his money. “Ok ok, I'm gone. We're over there, baby. Join us if you could take a break.” He said and pointed at a table across the room where Till was sitting. “Love you.” He whispered in a funny way and went to get their drinks. Richard felt three hundred percent more energized after seeing Chris, even though he had been working for eight hours straight. 

________________________

“Oh, so that's why you wanted to meet here. I knew you weren't a go-sit-in-the-Starbucks kinda guy.” Till said jokingly when Chris was back with their drinks. 

“Why did you wanna meet at all? It's fuckin Saturday, Till. Don't I deserve one day without seeing you?” Chris said teasingly. 

Till chuckled and sipped on his latte. “Well, you didn't see me yesterday, and I've got some news for you that needed to be said in person.” 

“Are you pregnant, Till? Ooh, am I the father?” Chris asked in a joking way and Till shook his head with amusement. 

“I'm not gonna have your baby, Chris. You know I'm not a settling down kinda girl.” Till said. They'd always teased each other this way, and it was still the same as it was ten years ago. “But it's good news. We got the Japan deal. They're kinda dying to work with us and they invited us to their headquarters in Tokyo for one week. We also need to check their manufacturing lines to be able to come up with our own modifications.” 

Chris frowned. “One week in Tokyo? When?” 

“We can go tomorrow and we'll be back by next Sunday. Look, we need to close the contract as soon as possible. And don't even think about ditching me, you're going as the head of the designing team, not the CEO.” Till added when he saw the trace of doubt in Chris's face. Chris glanced at Richard behind the counter talking to a customer. 

“I wasn't thinking about ditching you, Till. It's my company.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Ok, let's go tomorrow. It's really short noticed. I'll call Francis. I'm gonna need her with me there.” He said and reached for his phone. 

“No need. She already knows. The company is waiting for us in Tokyo to call them about our departure time. I'll tell Freddie to let them know and get tickets.” Till said and picked up his phone to text his assistant. Chris sighed and caught Richard's eyes on him. He smiled at him and thought about how to handle one week away from the boy. 

***

“But… but…” Richard's eyes fell and his bottom lip was stuck out in a very sad and heartbreaking way. Chris had picked him up after work that night and brought him back to his own apartment and after a light dinner and watching a cartoon with him, Chris had told Richard that he had to leave the next day. 

“Japan is like…” He stopped and began thinking, then continued. “Very far away.” He had tears in his pretty eyes. Chris sighed and pulled him close and Richard crawled into his lap. 

“I know, baby. I don't know how I'm gonna survive without my little doll. But you can be brave for daddy, can't you? It's only one week, sweetheart.” Chris said soothingly while cradling him in his arms. 

“Can I come wif you, dada? I'll be good, I promise.” He mumbled in a broken voice. 

“Baby boy, you've got school and daddy will have to work the whole time. But I promise you that we'll Skype every night.” Chris said and kissed his forehead and his pouty lip. 

“Whem do you have to go, dada?” He asked after sniffling. 

“I'll drop you at work tomorrow morning and then I'll go to the airport. Also, I'll move your pap appointment to next week when I'm back. Is that ok, baby?” Chris asked him. Richard moved and wiggled around in Chris's lap until he was straddling him, then wrapped his arms tightly around Chris's neck and laid his head there. “Everyfing is poopy wifout dada.” He mumbled. 

Chris had had cold feet about this trip since the second Till told him about it, and now that Richard was clinging to him like a little puppy, it seemed impossible to leave him like that but Chris could not allow himself to feel that way. This was his company and his job and it was only one week. He knew he had to suck it up and deal with how much being away from the boy was going to hurt him. 

“I'll tell you what, baby boy. If you're a good boy this week and you do everything that daddy tells you to, I'll reward you so much when I get back that you'll forget I was even gone. Can you do that?” He asked in a low voice while running his fingers through Richard's soft hair. 

Richard picked his head up and looked into Chris's eyes with his sulky doe ocean eyes. “Pwomise we talk every day?” He asked. 

“I promise.” Chris murmured before beginning to kiss him. “I have something for you.” He gently broke the kiss before saying that. Richard blinked and gave him a questioning look. Chris continued before Richard could protest. “Don't worry. It's not expensive.” 

Richard smiled. Chris reached into his pocket and brought out a small box. “I noticed that you sucked your pretty thumb a lot and I was worried you might bite it off one day.” He said with an affectionate smile which made Richard blush. “If you don't like it or don't want it, it's absolutely alright, sweetheart. I just want you to know that.” He gave the box to Richard and waited for him to open it. Richard looked curious. He opened the box and his eyes widened. Chris had gotten him a baby blue pacifier with a long plastic blue chain which could be worn around his neck. Richard blushed deep red before getting it out and staring at it. Chris was beginning to worry that Richard might be offended, but then his shocked face turned into a bashful one. “I… I wuv it, dada.” He said. “I have a purple one.” He mumbled shyly. It was Chris's turn to get a case of wide eyes. “How come I've never seen it then?” He asked. 

Richard looked down before mumbling. “I only u-use it when I feel very poopy. I-I was afraid you get freaked out if I use it im front of you.”

Chris smiled broadly. “Baby, nothing about you can freak me out. I want you to feel comfortable enough to be yourself around me.” 

Richard gave him a shy smile and with that Chris took the plastic chain and put it around Richard's neck. “Every baby needs a binky.” He murmured in a low voice. 

“Daddy, c-can we…” Richard trailed off and pressed his hips against Chris's lap in a small grinding motion. Chris was in no mood to make him actually say the words because he wanted the exact same thing. 

____________

Richard knew he wasn't a good kisser. It was no surprise to him. He didn't have much experience and he was too shy to let go and go at it anyway. Daddy was an excellent kisser, though. He was now kissing Richard like it was all he needed in life. The events of that evening had shoved Richard so deep in little space that it seemed like there was no space for anything else. Chris watching a cartoon with him while feeding him and then breaking the horrible news of him leaving for a week, and giving Richard the pretty blue binky that was around Richard's neck right now and they were kissing so deeply with Richard in Chris's lap. 

Chris gently broke the kiss and looked up at Richard. “Do you wanna be daddy's little cowboy, baby?” 

Richard looked at him, unfathomed and blinking. Chris smiled affectionately. “Would you like daddy to play with you like this? While you're on top?” 

Richard blushed and looked down then, shook his head. Being on top would make him extremely dysphoric since he could actually feel his tits bouncing up and down even though they were very small, but he didn't know how to say it. Also, being on top wasn't something he could do while in little space. Chris took his hand and kissed it. “It's ok, baby. I'll take you to bed. Come here.” He held onto Richard's hips and got up, a little unsteadily and took him into the bedroom lying him on his bed. He took his own clothes off and towered over Richard and began kissing him. Richard willingly opened his lips and hummed when Chris gently began playing with his tongue. He always loved that. Being kissed in that way. So soft and gentle, yet so possessive and firm. Chris broke the kiss after they made out for minutes and looked down at him with a loving smile. “How am I gonna be away from those lips for one week?” He murmured in a low voice and kissed Richard again before moving to his neck. Richard hummed and turned his head away to be kissed more easily. He stopped and looked into Richard's eyes again before smiling and reaching to the binky around Richard's neck putting it into Richard's already opened mouth. That gesture alone made Richard's brain shut down completely and fall obliviously into little space. Daddy gently moved and went down without touching Richard's t-shirt, he just took Richard's shorts off him. Luckily, testosterone had made his periods shorter in time and he wasn't bleeding anymore. Richard spread his legs and quietly whined. He thought about not getting to feel this way for an entire week and it made him want daddy to feel his entire skin. “Dada… I - “ He let go of his binky and mumbled. 

Chris stopped and was back on top of him in a second. “What is it, sweetheart?” He asked. 

“I… I… I want…” Richard whined, but couldn't finish his sentence. He just clutched to his t-shirt and pulled it slightly up to show daddy what he wanted. 

“Baby, are you sure this is what you want?” Chris asked and kissed Richard's cheeks. “J-just don't touch them.” He mumbled quietly. 

Chris smiled and slowly took Richard's t-shirt off him. “I promise, baby boy.” He began kissing down Richard's body and didn't touch or linger on his chest, just kissed between them and then his stomach. He sucked Richard's clit and gently blew air on it. Richard whined and arched his back in need. “Your pretty penis is growing up so fast. I love it so much.” He murmured and kept on sucking it. Richard moaned and pushed his hips up. He loved how Chris could make him feel like a boy and take all the dysphoria away. He stopped eating Richard out and knelt between his legs. He bent over Richard to reach for the nightstand drawer. Richard turned his head to look at what daddy was doing. He took a bottle of lube from the drawer and Richard stared at it, unfathomed. 

“You're a little dried out, baby. I don't wanna hurt you.” Daddy explained, smiling. Right! Testosterone was preventing him from getting wet like he used to. He would still get wet but not enough to make penetration easy. He watched as daddy poured some lube on his erection and stroked himself to coat all over his shaft. Then, he gently played with Richard's hole and pushed one slicked finger inside him and began massaging in there. “Ah, that's better.” Chris breathed out and pulled his finger out and aligned his cock with Richard's front hole and gently and slowly pushed in. Richard whined and crossed his arms over his face and moaned. He felt daddy kissing his forearm. “Let daddy see your pretty face, little boy.” He murmured, and Richard complied and looked up. “There's my sunny boy.” He was smiling and then, he began slowly moving and stroking in and out. Richard lifted his knees up and spread them. He looked up at daddy from between half-lidded eyes and thought about how good he was feeling at that moment. He grabbed his binky and put it into his mouth and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. His mind was so sad and dejected, but his body was being shattered by the numbing pleasure that Chris was giving him. He felt a tight knot in his tummy waiting to be untied. He stared up at daddy and couldn't stop his tears running from the corner of his eyes and onto the pillow. He blinked and sucked harder on his binky. He was so close. He could feel the pleasure in his tummy trying to burst him into little sparkles and he let it. He whined around his binky and threw his head back. He opened his mouth to moan as he came hard and felt his hole going into a heavy contraction and pulsating around daddy who was panting on top of Richard. He felt daddy's lips on his neck kissing him, then, felt the warm sprouts shooting inside him and turning him into a tiny little sparkle of fire. He let his arms and legs go onto the bed, and felt daddy gently going down on him. He jerked and gasped when he felt Chris's tongue at his entrance licking him clean. Chris came back up and gathered Richard into his arms and kissed the side of his face where it was wet with his tears. “Shhh… daddy's here, my little prince. Daddy loves you.” He whispered. 

Richard let out a quiet sob and clung to Chris. “I wi-wish I was smaller. Then you could fit me in your pocket and take me wif you.” He whined and mumbled shakily between his tears. 

“Aww… sweetheart, I wish I didn't have to go anywhere. I don't want to put you in my pocket, baby. I want you in my arms.” He said and kissed Richard's temple again. 

Richard just laid his head in the crook of Chris's neck and rubbed his face there. Daddy held him tight and cradled him in his arms until Richard lost track of everything and fell into a melancholic sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've missed updating so much.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels good to update!

On Sunday morning when Chris woke him up and told him they needed to get going, Richard tried his best not to whine and cry and make it harder for the both of them, but predictably, he failed. He cried and cried and daddy kissed his wet face and helped him blow his nose and told him they'd talk every day. He had packed the day before and he helped Richard get all his stuff before they leave his apartment. He dropped Richard off at work but not before kissing him and holding him. Richard just wanted to crawl into daddy's lap and shrink and hide in daddy's jacket which of course, was impossible so he just got off the car and watched the man he loved, drive away. 

The new job and the fact that he had too much to learn, kept him preoccupied all day. He was so exhausted when he finally got back to his dorm. He took a shower and curled in his bed with his new binky in his mouth and boyrex and Mr. Bear in his arms and his phone in his hand waiting for daddy to call as promised. He was so tired he fell asleep thinking about Chris. 

***  
Richard was startled out of sleep with the sound of his alarm going off, and it took him a couple of seconds to realize that it wasn't his alarm. His phone was ringing. His room was bright when he opened his eyes! He grabbed his phone sleepily and jumped when he saw it was Chris calling. He got so excited that his phone fell onto his face and made him whine and let go of his binky. 

“D-daddy?” He shouted excitedly into his phone. 

“Hey, rainbow. Did I wake you?” He heard Chris's energetic voice. 

“No… yes, but I don't care. I miss you so much.” He said in a sulky manner. “You didn't call last night.” He pouted. 

“I miss you more, cutie. I'm sorry. It was midnight in Berlin’s time when we arrived. I didn't wanna wake you.” 

Richard remained quiet and tried not to cry. “Reeshy, baby? Talk to me. What are you doing right now?” He asked quietly.   
Richard sniffled before replying. “I'mim bed wif boyrex and Mr. Bear.” He mumbled. 

“Daddy's so jealous of boyrex and Mr. Bear right now.” He said. There was silence. “Don't you have sculpture today?” He asked after a few moments. Richard nodded without a word. “Are you nodding, baby?” There was a hint of laughter in his voice. 

“Yes.” Richard said with a small smile. 

“Then get up, get breakfast and get dressed and go be a good boy for daddy. Do you think you can do that?” He asked. 

“Will we talk tonight, dada?” Richard asked. 

“Will you promise to be a good boy and not a sad boy today?” He asked. 

More silence. 

“Reeshy?” He sighed. 

“I try, daddy.” Richard muttered. 

“Good baby. I have to go, sweetheart. I'll call you tonight, ok? I love you.” He said somewhat hurriedly. 

“Wuvoo too, dada.” Richard mumbled and clutched harder to his phone after Chris hung up. He felt so rejected but tried to remind himself that daddy was there for work, the problem was that he was too deep in little space to be able to reason with himself. He got up and got dressed and put boyrex and his binky in his backpack before leaving for class. He was sulky and in a bad mood all day. Even his sculpture class wasn't much help. During lunchtime, he didn't have much of an appetite so he just went into the men's room and locked himself in one of the stalls, snuggled boyrex and sucked on his binky. 

_______________

Business wise, the trip was going extremely amazing and successful for them, but personally, Chris was a mess. He was missing Richard so much that it was actually hurting him. They'd been apart for three days now and Chris had actually considered taking off and going back to his little, but he could hide it pretty well, unlike Richard who was sulky every time they spoke on the phone. Chris was trying to video call him at least once a day and every time, Richard's big blue eyes had tears in them which made him look like one of those extremely beautiful androgynous anime characters. Chris just wanted to fly back home, hold him and feed him and love him and pamper him. He knew the kid was trying not to be his clingy self but they both knew that Richard was failing miserably. 

____________ 

On the fourth night at around midnight, Richard was in his bed waiting for daddy to call because he said he would and he had asked Richard to send him some selfies because “Daddy needs his daily dosage of baby rainbow” Richard had giggled at that text and sent him some selfies. He was cranky and annoyed all day. He was missing Chris so much that he actually started quietly weeping that day during his music theory class. Of course, he left the lecture hall immediately to go to his hiding spot which was the toilet, snuggled boyrex and kept crying. 

Now he was in bed sucking on his binky and staring at his phone and it finally started ringing. Richard hit the green button and just remained quiet. 

“Baby?” Chris gently called. 

Richard only sniffled into the phone. 

“I loved your cute selfies.” He said softly. “You're not eating anything, are you? You look like you've lost weight, baby.” He added worriedly. That, in fact, was true. Richard didn't have much of an appetite lately. 

“‘m not hungry.” He mumbled. 

“You know? When I get back, I'm gonna feed my little rainbow while he's in my lap. What would you like to eat first?” He asked encouragingly and tried to sound cheerful. 

“Can you just feed baby with some daddy? Tha’s all baby needs.” Richard mumbled in a pouty way.

“Only some daddy? How about all of him?” Chris's tone now had a flirty way to it. 

Richard nodded, knowing daddy couldn't see him right now. “What would you like to do if daddy was there with you right now?” Chris asked.

“Dunno,,, cuddles?” Richard shrugged. 

“Aw, baby, I wanna do more than that. A lot more.” He said with a low voice. 

Richard shifted in bed and swallowed. “L-like what?” He asked in a small voice. 

“I would kiss your beautiful mouth until we both need to breath… God, I miss your lips.” He breathed out. Richard felt the room getting a little hot. “I miss daddy's kisses.” He said shyly. “Wh-what else, dada?” He dared to ask and clutched harder to his phone. 

“Then I'd lay you in bed and take your clothes off you so I could breathe you in.” He said and took a deep breath. Richard hummed and moved his hips. He was now full-on horny and needy. 

“You wanna know what else I'd to my little doll?” Chris asked him. 

“uhumm…” Richard whined. 

“I would eat you out, baby. I miss your little parts so much.” He said with a hoarse voice. 

“I… I wanna be your cowboy, dada.” Richard said quietly and rolled on his back. 

“I can't wait to see my little cowboy sitting in my lap.” Chris said. “What else do you want to do when daddy's back?” He asked. 

Richard mumbled the first thing that came to his mind. “The fing you did in your car, daddy.” 

He heard Chris's chuckle, then his pleased tone. “You really like getting spanked, don't you? Kinky little devil.”

Richard squeaked in protest. He really did like getting spanked and fucked so hard like that. He heard daddy's low voice again. “I promise when I get back, I'll take you in my lap and spank your pretty little bum and make you come until you beg me to stop and when you're all done and worn out, I'll fuck you hard and fill you up.” 

Richard was glued to the spot. He'd never been the object of such dirty talk. His brain froze and all of him became need. He felt tingly all over. He breathed and it turned into a choked whine. 

“Baby, do you want daddy to play with you over the phone?” Chris asked. Richard didn't really understand what he meant but he hummed yes and waited. “Wet your fingers in your mouth for me, baby boy.” He ordered in a tone that sent shivers down Richard's spine. Richard swallowed and put two of his fingers in his mouth and coated them in his saliva. “M’kay.” He responded to Chris. 

“Now, I want you to spread your legs for me and slip your hand in your underwear.” He ordered in a murmuring manner. 

Richard felt his face heating up. He figured he was a bit too little for that. He had played with himself before, but taking instructions for it felt strange but definitely not in a bad way. He heard daddy again. “It's ok, baby. You can do it. I'll guide you through it.” 

Richard slowly reached into his underwear and touched his tiny penis with his wet fingers. “Hmmm…” He hummed quietly and bit his bottom lip. “D-daddy…” 

“Daddy's right here, my sweet boy. Now close your eyes and try to remember how my fingers feel when I play with your pretty penis.” He said. 

Richard closed his eyes and remembered when daddy was touching him and telling him for the first time that he loved him. He shifted in bed and felt his parts getting dried. He wetted his fingers again and touched himself. “Dada,,, it tingles.” He whined. 

“I know, baby. I can almost see your pretty face all flushed and needy for me.” Chris's deep voice in his ear was driving him crazy. He played with his grown out clit faster and felt a tingling and satisfying build in his tummy letting him know that he was almost there. He whined and moaned and at that point couldn't really hear what daddy was telling him to do, he just kept his eyes closed and pictured daddy playing with him and kissing him all over. He kept his lips tight between his teeth, arched his back and came hard while letting out tiny noises. After a few seconds, he melted into the mattress and realized that daddy wasn't actually there and he had just gave Richard instructions on how to touch himself. 

“D-daddy?” He called with a small voice. 

“Right here, baby.” He said with a smile in his voice. “Are you feeling better?” He asked. 

“I don't… I don't know!” He mumbled. He was feeling rather confused about what just happened. “Did… did it happen to you too, daddy?” He asked shyly. 

“Daddy's very tired and preoccupied right now, sweetheart. That's why it didn't happen to me.” Chris replied. 

Richard pouted. “I'm tired too, daddy. I was at school all day. But it still happened to me.” He argued with a bratty tone. 

He heard Chris's soft chuckle. “That's because you're a little boy. Daddy's an old man, remember? It's easier for you.” 

Richard remained quiet for a while. “Baby? Tell me about your day. I miss your little stories.” Daddy said with a sad tone. 

“I maked cookies this morning, daddy. 6 of them, and then poopy Paul ate 4 of them.” He said grumpy and pouted harder when daddy laughed. 

“I had no idea you could bake, baby. Were you careful with the oven?” He asked. 

“Reeshy woways careful, daddy. Reeshy wuv baking.” He said, smiling. 

“Will you make some for daddy some time?” He asked. 

“I will definitely of course no doubt.” Richard cheered. 

Daddy was laughing on the other side of the line. “What else did you do, baby?” 

“I practiced guitar with Paul a little and then went to buy some rainbow fabric for my new bag.” 

“You're making a bag?” Chris asked, surprised. 

“No, daddy. I got an ugly pattern less brown bag from euro shop and decided to make it pretty. Reeshy wuv DIY.” He said happily. 

“I bet. Reeshy just DIYed himself and I could tell he loved it.” He teased. 

Richard blushed deep and squeaked loud in protest, and nearly screamed when daddy laughed even louder. “Daddy meanie” He whined. 

“Awww, baby. Daddy loves you. My talented boy.” He whispered softly. Richard hummed in a small high pitched voice. 

“Ok, baby. It's time for you to sleep. Send me one more picture of you in bed. Will you? I wanna see my little angel.” He said with the same tone. 

“But you still haven't told me about your day, Dada.” Richard pouted. 

“Ah, nothing interesting here. Just business meetings all day. They threw us a party last night. I think they tried to make it as German as possible, but it sucked because I don't even like beer.” He said and the way he dramatically sighed, made Richard giggle. 

“Did you meet any pretty boys you like, daddy?” Richard asked casually. A party German style didn't sound that good. 

“Not really. But I met some very pretty girls.” Chris replied teasingly. 

Richard sighed in relief. Daddy didn't like girls. “But dada gayyyy.” Richard giggled. 

Chris laughed. “Actually, dada is bi.” 

Richard's face fell. “B-but… I mean I… didn't know that.” 

“I didn't think it mattered, baby. I'm with you now. I was just kidding about the pretty girls.” He said in a serious tone. 

Richard had been under the impression that Chris liked boys, and that's why they were together but now… this was making him feel self-conscious and very dysphoric. Would Chris still be with him if he was gay? He asked that question before he could think about it. 

“What kinda question is that, Richard? Of course, I'd be with you!” Chris sounded taken aback. 

“I thought you were with me because you were gay.” Richard mumbled.

“I'm with you because I love you. Why does my sexuality even matter?” Chris asked impatiently. 

“B-because…” Richard didn't know how to say this without making himself feel so horrible. “Because now you just don't mind my… my girl parts. You wouldn't want them if you were gay.” He said angrily. Richard knew this was an absolute shitty way to think. He, himself, never categorized people based on their genitals, but he was so insecure about his own body that he would still sometimes label himself in his own head. 

“Richard, where is this coming from? What the hell are you saying? You don't have any girl parts. Don't say that. Jesus.” He almost yelled in exasperation. “You're a boy and that makes your body a boy's body. Everything attached to you, is a male body part and that's the truth and that's how I view you. I may be bi, but I consider our relationship a gay one. Don't you?” He asked challengingly. 

Richard let go of his tears and would fly straight (no pun intended) to Chris and demand cuddles and snuggles for the rest of his life if he could. He had the best daddy in the world. 

“I wuv you, daddy. Pwease don't weave me.” He begged between quiet sobs. 

Chris sighed. “Baby boy, I love you too and I won't leave you. Just please, don't think that way. I'm trying my best to understand what you're going through and I'm in it with you, ok? Just talk to daddy every time you had bad thoughts like this. Alright?” He whispered soothingly. 

“M’right, dada.” Richard mumbled. 

“Good boy. Now go get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?” He said. 

“M'kay, daddy. Wuvoo.” 

“Love you too, puppy. Good night.” 

____________________

Chris hung up the phone and squeezed his eyes with his fingers. He was lying in the king size bed in the hotel room. He stretched out one arm to reach to his cigarettes and light one on. Richard was certainly a challenge! The kid was definitely a mess. Chris couldn't believe that Richard was so insecure that he took his sexuality, a source of dysphoria for himself. Chris was honest when he said all those things about Richard. He was a boy and that was exactly how Chris perceived it. But Chris could understand that it was difficult for Richard to be that secure about himself. In fact, it was no surprise. He was an eighteen-year-old kid fresh out of a high school in a village! He came straight to the big city and of course his entire life and his view of it would be so disturbed especially after everything he'd gone through. Chris knew that being with Richard could be difficult sometimes, but what relationship was easy? He couldn't bear to be without the boy. He had only been away from Richard for four days and felt like his heart wasn't in the right place! He wanted to go home and just watch the kid. He heard his phone buzzing, letting him know that he had received a text. He picked it up and opened the text. It was five selfies of Richard in five variations. He was in bed, wearing his Pokémon pajamas and his binky around his neck and his eyes drowsy and sleepy. Chris melted at each photo, then his phone buzzed again. This time it was a text:

Reeshy: Sorry I said poopy things about dada being bi. I know I'm very bad. :’( 

Chris smiled. He wasn't mad at Richard at all. He was just worried about him! He wrote: 

“Nothing to be sorry about, little rainbow. You're not bad. You're my good boy. The goodest boy.” 

Richard said goodnight to him and they stopped texting. Chris got up to go and take a shower. It was around 6 in the morning and they had to visit the fabrication lines that day to start implementing their products. He was half naked when there was a loud thump on his door. He furrowed and went to open it. It was Till! Obviously fucked out of his mind. He looked like shit. His shirt was open as well as his belt buckle and he had his arm around a very beautiful Japanese girl. 

“Zis is Aiko. Ain't she pretty?” He slurred in his heavily accented English. The girl giggled and played with Till’s chest hair. 

“Till, what the fuck are you doing?” Chris whispered angrily in German. This was highly irresponsible of Till. 

“We were playing a game, Chrissy. I thought you might wanna play with us. Ist called where's the hole.” Till giggled in his drunken haze. 

Chris tried to control his temper. “Till, get the fuck in here. You, how drunk are you?” He asked the girl after pulling Till in his room. He wanted to make sure if it was safe to send her away. 

“Drunk enough to know that I won't say no to the both of you.” She laughed. 

Chris reached into his pocket to get his wallet. “That's very drunk considering you don't know any of us. Take this, take a cab and a… coffee maybe.” He gave the girl the only Japanese money he had left in his wallet which was a 1000 yen bill. 

She stared up at Chris. “I'm not a hooker, asshole. We were just having fun.”

“I didn't say you were. There's also nothing wrong with being a hooker, my dear. It's six in the morning and you're drunk in a hotel with a stranger. I wanted to help you get home safe that's all.” Chris replied honestly. 

“Keep your money, Mr. I live three blocks away. Have a nice day.” She said a little bit more respectful, turned on her heels and left. Chris shut the door and went back inside. 

“You ruined my celebration, Schneider.” Till slurred while going through the mini fridge. Chris walked to him and took the small vodka bottle out of his hand. “You've had enough, tough guy. Come on. You need to sleep it off.” He said and grabbed Till helping him up. 

“But we have to celebrate now.” He argued. He sounded so funny that Chris really wanted to film him and show him later. 

“Celebrate what?” 

“We're richhhh… this was a three million dollar profit deal.” He said a little bit more sober. 

“Which means we've got more work to do. Come on, Tilly. We need to be professional. Get some sleep and then take a shower. I have to go to the fabrication site today.” Chris said seriously. 

“God, you're such a dad. All work and no fun? You weren't like this back in college.” Till said, annoyed. He hopped on the bed face first. 

“I didn't own a Goddamn company back in college. Sleep. Now.” Chris ordered sternly. 

“‘m jus gonna sleep cuz I wanna. Not cuz you said. Will kick your ass later.” He said and yawned and practically went unconscious. 

Chris snorted and shook his head. He took his intended shower, got dressed and took a cab to the industrial district of Tokyo. It was a very beautiful city. They had explored it shortly and Chris was sure Richard would love it considering how much into anime culture he was. Chris had found a huge and interesting sex shop there and went to it the other day. He bought a whole bunch of Kinky anime stuff for Richard that he was almost sure the kid would love, the kinky little thing he was.   
That day at the fabrication site was one of the most tiring days of Chris's life. He and his team stayed there until five in the afternoon and Chris had to do most of the work himself since he had designed the pieces, and their installation would be tricky for his team of engineers. It was a little after 6 when Chris was back in his hotel room. He discarded his briefcase on the floor and took his jacket off. 

“Oh, honey. You're home.” Chris heard Till’s voice and it made him clutch to his heart. “For fuck's sake. What the fuck are you still doing here?” 

Till was fresh out of the shower. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was standing by the bathroom’s door. 

“Oh, well I was waiting for you, mister. Or is it just pretty blond boys with doe eyes and no facial hair?” He snickered and dodged the pillow that Chris threw at him. 

“Fuck off. I'm tired.” Chris snorted and threw himself on the bed. He was one second away from going unconscious. 

“No way I'm letting you sleep like that, Mr. Boss.” Chris heard Till and felt his shoes and socks coming off. 

“What're you? Mother fuckin hen?” Chris yawned. 

“Shut up and remember to wash your feet after waking up, they're disgusting. Come on. Your jacket is next to go. Take it off. Don't be such a sass.” Till practically grabbed Chris's lapels and hauled him up, helping him take his jacket off. 

Chris chuckled sleepily. “Just like when we were in college.” They used to live in an apartment together and there were numerous nights when one of them would come back home in the morning all drunk and messed up and the other would have to take care of him. It was kind of a tradition by now. 

“Yeah, but this time instead of a pretty person, it was a Japanese company.” Till laughed and pushed Chris back. Chris rolled over before mumbling sleepily. “Ummm,,, kinky.” Was the last thing he said and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I understand if you guys find this kind of boring. I mostly write it cuz it's my outlet. I mean I'd be very happy to know that people are enjoying it but I also get it if they're not. Thanks :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm being super inconsistent and late! I'm sorry. I hope you guys are still enjoying this fic.

“Daddy, can you see you me?” Richard blinked at daddy's footage in his laptop.   
“Baby, you ask that every time and people think I'm the old man?” Daddy asked him with a big smile. He was supposed to fly back home the next day and they were skyping. 

Richard squeaked in protest. “Imma baby. I'm not good wif techy fings.”

“Aw, rainbow. I'll teach you. We're gonna have so much baby daddy time when I get back. I'm dying to see you.” Chris said and smiled through the camera. 

“Me too, Dada. Can I… um… is it ok if I come to the airport?” Richard asked shyly. Chris's flight was going to land Sunday night and Richard could go there right after work. He originally thought about surprising Chris at the airport but he thought maybe it'd be inappropriate. 

But daddy surprised him with a happy smile. “Of course you can. Why wouldn't it be ok?” 

“I thought may-maybe you don't want your friends to know about us.” Richard stared at the keyboard. 

“They're not my friends, sweetheart. They're my employees, except for Till who already knows you. And why wouldn't I want people to know? I'm proud to have such a sweet little boy.” Chris said. Richard could literally feel like he was about to fly with happiness and good feelings. He was smiling so hard that his jaw hurt. 

“Can I wear my rainbow flag like a cape? The rainbow Knight will come to the airport riding his rainbow unicorn.” He said in his little language and tried to sound as macho and heroic as possible while waving his hand like he was holding a sword. Daddy was dying with laughter. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye while still laughing. 

“My little rainbow prince. You can wear whatever you want and be the prettiest person in the room.” He said with affection. 

“Ok, daddy. I'll come pick you up after I get off work” He mused teasingly in his big boy tone. It was funny to act like daddy. 

Chris laughed loud. “Do you know how to drive?” He asked. Richard pouted and shook his head and looked down in shame. Most boys his age knew how to drive, but he didn't because his mom never owned a car. 

“Would you like daddy to teach you?” Chris asked encouragingly. Richard blinked at the screen and shook his head no. “I'm too gay to drive, dada.” Richard said and giggled when Chris burst out laughing again. 

“Oh god, you are!” He said while still laughing out loud. 

“I also don't wike to drive, daddy. I wike bikes better.” Richard said. 

“Have you ever had a bike?” Chris asked. 

“When Lily got big for her bike, she gave it to me. I had it until last year then it broke.” He shrugged. He loved that bike, and when it broke, Richard's heart broke with it. 

Chris gave him a sympathetic smile. “Now, you have daddy as your personal driver.” Richard giggled at that, but also thought about saving money and buying a bike. That would be so awesome. 

“Baby, I need to get some sleep. We'll fly out early tomorrow and we had our farewell party tonight.” He said and sounded kind of annoyed. 

“Daddy doesn't wike parties.” Richard said with a knowing smile. 

“I just never understood this amount of unnecessary socializing. Or maybe I'm just too old.” He shrugged. 

“Reeshy don't wike parties, either, daddy. They gib me anxiety.” Richard said before adding. “So you're not old.” And smiling. Chris smiled back at him. “Ok, dada. See you tomorrow. Dream of Prince rainbow. Night night.” Richard said. 

“I'm always dreaming of my prince rainbow. See you tomorrow, my love.” 

____________________

***PRESENT*** (December 2017)

Chris couldn't sleep, Richard was naked and half on top of him and deep asleep in his arms after that brutal fucking session when he told Chris he didn't want to go to New York. Chris's mind kept flash backing to two years ago when he first met Richard and when his trip to Japan happened, and God, did that trip made him realize what this kid meant to him. Then, he thought about one year ago when Richard's body dysphoria was at its peak and he would cry night after night when he finally told Chris that he was ready for top surgery. 

___________________

***February 2017***

It'd been two weeks since the last time they had sex. Richard was too depressed and anxious and way too deep in little space to be able to have sex. All he needed all the time was to be absolutely infantilized. He was basically a four-year-old child completely mentally shut down and Chris was absolutely fine with that. He knew what he had signed up for and he knew that Richard didn't owe him anything for any of it. He had finished his exams right before his depression hit and luckily his grades were fine, because Chris wouldn't stop motivating and pushing him to study and finish his projects. Also, because he was the smartest little in the world. 

It was nearly bedtime and Chris was still checking his emails while Richard was curled in a fetus position on the floor wearing a pink oversized dinosaur onesie and his binky around his neck and into his mouth. He was drawing random things in his little drawing notebook which had loads of different stickers on it and most of them were rainbows. He had been quiet for a while now and the only part of his face Chris was able to see, was his mouth hidden behind his purple binky. The rest of his face was covered under the dinosaur hoodie. 

“Baby boy? It's bedtime. Come, let's get your teeth brushed.” Chris said after closing his laptop. Richard clearly ignored him and didn't respond. Typical! Chris sighed and walked to him crouching down next to him. “Come on, little dinosaur. It's night night time.” He whispered and nuzzled to Richard's hoodie. Richard peeked up from under his hoodie and just shook his head. 

“Are you saying no to daddy?” Chris said with a more authoritative voice. 

Chris couldn't see his eyes but saw him shaking his head again as he went on his hands and knees and sat back on his heels waiting for Chris to pick him up and take him into the bedroom which Chris didn't do before making Richard tidying up his play space. After that, Richard clung to him by four limbs and Chris carried him into the bathroom. After peeing and brushing their teeth, Richard went and curled up in bed without taking off his onesie. He'd been sleeping fully clothed for the past two weeks now. Chris took his own clothes off and went to bed wearing only a pair of shorts. He wanted to spoon Richard when he turned around to face Chris. He looked up into Chris's eyes with his most innocent and pensive expression, then stuck out his bottom lip. 

“What is it, baby?” Chris whispered very quietly. Richard slightly pulled himself up and planted a shy kiss on Chris's lips. Chris smiled at him and leaned in and kissed his lips softly and looked down at him again. Richard took off his hoodie and kissed Chris's neck. 

“Little boy wants play time with daddy, or just kisses?” Chris asked him. Richard pressed his body against Chris's and quietly hummed. 

Chris began gently kissing him on the mouth while helping him take off his onesie. When he was naked, he closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest and closed himself off.   
“Baby boy, do you want to wear my t-shirt? Do you think you'd be comfier?” Chris asked. Richard nodded. Chris got up and brought his t-shirt back to bed and put it on Richard. He certainly looked more relieved now. 

“My beautiful little man. You're daddy's sweet boy, Reeshy.” Chris whispered to him while kissing him. Gendering him correctly in that way would always put him in a better state of mind. Richard hummed and wrapped his legs around Chris's waist and pushed his hips up. Chris was so horny, all he wanted was to pound Richard into the mattress as hard and fast as possible but he was restraining himself as best he could. Richard was already pushing himself too much with asking for sex. After kissing him for a while, Chris took the bottle of lube and poured some on his cock and on Richard's entrance. 

“Is my prince ready for me?” Chris asked him quietly and Richard hummed and nodded sweetly. Chris aligned their bodies and slowly entered him. Richard quietly whined and bit his lips in distress. He squeezed himself around Chris and it was obvious that it was a display of his discomfort. Chris pulled back a bit. “Reesh, are you ok?” He asked, concerned. 

He nodded and loosened up a bit and wrapped his arms around Chris's neck. Chris kissed him and began slowly moving. He took a deep breath to control his urges and not go at Richard. After about a minute of silence with gentle kisses on Richard's neck, he went stiff again and Chris could hear him cry. Before he could see what was wrong, it happened. “Please,,, please, stop. Please get out, I can't… I c-can’t.” Richard sobbed loudly and tried to push Chris away. Chris immediately complied and pulled out of him. 

“It's fine, baby. I'm out. It's ok, shhh…” He said soothingly and tried his best not to take it personally. He knew full well that it wasn't about him or Richard's desire for him who was still sobbing. Richard pushed himself into Chris's arms and continued sobbing while repeating nonstop “I'm sorry.” 

“Baby, there's nothing to be sorry about. Please, talk to me, sweetheart.” Chris held him tighter. 

Richard clutched to Chris and sobbed from his chest. “I feel s-so dysphoric, I want to die. I want to burn my body, I want to chop off my chest with a knife by myself and I want to live to see it flat or else… I… I don't want to live at all. It's not my body, Chris. It's the wrong body. I can't be in it… it's not me.I… I bled again today. Why would I bleed? I'm a boy… I'm a boy, I can't have that happen to me without a warning. I want to rip out my uterus. P-please, Imma… I'm gonna do it now.” He sobbed all that and suddenly pulled away from Chris and got out of the bed. Panicked, Chris ran after him into the kitchen. Richard had picked up the biggest kitchen knife they had. He took off the t-shirt and stood naked with a knife in his hand and horror in his eyes. He was clearly having a psychotic episode caused by two weeks of horrible depression and anxiety. He also had a history of committing suicide which was worrying Chris even more. 

“Richard, baby. Please, you don't need to do that. Just listen to me, ok?” Chris blurted out meaningless words, he had no idea what he was going to say. 

Richard screamed. “I NEED TO DO THIS.” He suddenly hit the palm of his other hand with the blade and it started bleeding badly, everywhere. He cried loudly in pain and shouted again. “What would you do if one day, you wake up with titts and a uterus in your gut that makes you bleed every time it feels like it? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?” 

Chris just stared at him for a second. He had never even thought about that! He had never put himself in Richard's shoes. He did understand him and sympathize with him, but never… 

Richard's blood was on the kitchen floor and on his body. He looked pale and was still bleeding. 

“I'd be devastated. I would.” Chris said. “Baby, there's a way to stop it. You know there is. I'll get you an appointment with your endocrinologist so you can go on hormone blockers immediately. That'll stop your bleeding, right? I know it will. I read about it. You told me about it. It'll work quickly, won't it?” Chris tried to keep his calm. “I'll find the best surgeon in the country and get your pre-op top surgery appointment ASAP, ok? Please, just give me three days, sweetheart. I'm not gonna abandon you. We'll get through this together, ok? You and me. Reeshy and daddy against the world, ok? Please let me do this for you.” 

Richard was now breathing hard through his nose. He held tighter onto the knife. His lips were quivering like he was seconds away from passing out. “I need at least 18 months of therapy, or the insurance won't pay for my surgery.” He said quietly. 

“Please don't worry about the money. Richard, give me the knife and I'll call an ambulance. Ok? You're not- Oh fffuck….” Before Chris could finish his sentence, Richard fell onto the floor and passed out and the knife, in sheer luck, did not land on him. Chris stood there for one second, not sure whether to run to his phone or to Richard! He chose the first option and called an ambulance then went back to Richard and found a towel in the kitchen and pressed it hard against Richard's injured hand. 

That night is still blurry to Chris. It was as if he was high on adrenaline and worrying. He remembered sitting in the ambulance holding Richard's hand and then taking him to the emergency room. After about one hour, he was sitting next to Richard's bed while the boy was unconscious and had an IV in his stitched up hand. Chris was so tired and mentally exhausted and still worried. He texted Francis and told her to make an appointment with Richard's endo tomorrow first thing in the morning. He didn't need to ask her to search for a surgeon for a mastectomy because Richard already had lots of information from his other queer and trans friends. 

“Dada” He heard Richard's weak voice.   
Chris jumped off his sit. “I'm here, baby. Everything is fine.” He whispered to him. Richard's eyes were barely open. Then his face slowly twisted as tears ran over it. “I'm sorry.” He sobbed in an unintelligible voice. “I'm so sorry I'm such a shit” He sobbed again. 

Chris held his hand and kissed it. “Hey… baby, you're not shit. Please don't say that. Everything is going to be alright, ok? I'll make sure of it. Daddy's always got your back. Just trust me. Can you do that, rainbow?” Chris asked him almost pleadingly. 

“I trust you.” Richard mumbled. “I would die wifout you, daddy.” He added with a broken voice. 

Chris smiled and kissed his forehead. “You've been more than strong enough during the first eighteen years of your life. You'd be fine without me, brave little boy.” 

Richard stared up at him with such sense of admiration in his eyes, like Chris was his God. Chris stared back at him. Like he was realizing this look in Richard's eyes for the first time. Richard actually worshiped him. In the past year, Richard had proven that he'd do anything for Chris, no questions asked. 

“I'm sorry for everything you go through because of me.” Richard whispered. Embarrassed, and looked down. 

Chris smiled and made him look up. “If the prize is your comfort and happiness, I'll go through the worst of the worst. You're my world. You have to know that.” He whispered seriously, while gently holding Richard's chin. “My sweet little boo-boo.” He added in a joking manner and chuckled when his little giggled. 

“Just promise me one thing, Richard.” He suddenly got serious, remembering how Richard tried to hurt himself in the kitchen. Richard's smile wore off as he looked up again. “Promise you won't do anything like that ever again. Promise you won't bottle up your depression until it gets to this point. Baby, I'd do anything for you, but I'm asking you to do this one thing for me, ok? Richard, I cannot imagine losing you. Promise me you won't try to hurt yourself ever again. Just talk to me, we figure it out together, my love, ok?” He said. No. He begged. 

Richard's lips quivered. Chris knew Richard had always had dangerous suicidal tendencies. Even though he was a happy little puppy most of the time, his severe depression and anxiety were always there, and after his first suicide attempt with his antidepressants, he refused to take anymore medication for it. Besides, it would mess with his hormones as well.   
He looked up at Chris through teary eyes. “You kn-know how I get. You know I can't promise that. When I'm having an episode, I lose all control. That's why I stopped the pills after the first time.” He paused to catch his breath because he was full-on crying now. “B-but… I can promise you one thing…. I'll talk more about it. Every time I feel down or like it's starting, I'll try not to let it bottle up. I'll ask for your help.” 

Chris considered him for a moment. “I'll keep a closer eye on you, ok? We'll check with each other every day. You don't want to see a therapist, that's fine. I respect your choice. But you WILL have to talk to me, Richard. Can you do that for me?” He said very seriously. He wasn't going to let this happen again. Richard looked away and nodded. 

“No, no. Not like this. You have to promise me. Words, baby. Come on.” He said and made Richard sit up. 

Richard sat up. He stared at his forearm which had the IV in it and sighed. “I promise I'll talk about my feelings every day. But don't… please don't force me out of little space. You know you can always read me easier and better when I'm in little space.” He mumbled quietly. 

Chris smiled and shifted to lay down in bed and then pulled Richard to his chest. The bed was too small for the both of them but Chris didn't care. “I would never do that, and you spend so much time in little space that it's just your natural state now. Only Sometimes you accidentally fall into an adult space.” Chris said with a smile in his voice. 

Richard giggled from Chris's chest and snuggled to him. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes and when the nurse came in, Richard was already asleep. “I will check his vitals, and then he can go home.” The nurse told Chris. Chris kissed Richard's forehead and gently woke him up and told him what the nurse had said then got out of his bed. After the nurse announced that everything was fine and told Richard to drink lots of fluid and vitamins and iron rich food, she cleared Richard for leaving. Richard was still dizzy so Chris helped him get dressed. “Daddy, fank you for bringing me clothes.” Richard mumbled with a fainty voice and held onto Chris's shoulders when he got down to his knees to help Richard wear pants. Chris stood up and helped him sit down on the bed. “No problem, sweetheart. Are you ready to go?” 

“Vewy weady, dada. ‘m sooo sleepy.” He yawned. Chris laughed and picked up his jacket putting it on Richard, because he forgot to bring a jacket for Richard. He was so panicky that he just grabbed pants and a t-shirt before the ambulance arrived. Chris had asked the nurse to call them a cab to take them home. Richard was snuggled up to his side the entire drive back home and when they arrived and were ready for bed, Richard asked Chris in his most shy tone if they could spoon naked. Richard needed intimacy more than anything else. Intense physical intimacy would always make him feel better. Of course, Chris complied to his sweetheart’s wish. 

“Baby, you scared the life out of me tonight.” Chris whispered to him when they were spooned up under Richard's favorite blankie. Chris was still feeling the adrenaline, he couldn't stop thinking about what if something serious would happen to Richard. The thought formed a giant painful lump in his throat. He had never felt this emotional before. “Richard, I can't lose you. Daddy cannot lose you, baby. Please don't do that again. I'd do anything…. anything for you.” Chris said with a shaky hoarse voice and his tears wetted Richard's shoulder. Richard suddenly moved and turned in Chris's arms to face him. He looked utterly shook and moved by Chris's reaction. He had literally never seen Chris cry. “Dada, no… no, please don't cry. Reeshy here. Reeshy wuv you.” He said and his tears ran over his angelic little face. They stared at each other for a minute and then, suddenly both laughed. 

“Dada, do you want Reeshy to sfoon you?” Richard sniffled and asked. His pure pretty eyes round and huge. Chris stared at him, smiling. 

“You want to spoon daddy?” He asked, amused. 

“Dada woways take care of Reeshy. Now Reeshy want to take care of dada Chris.” He mumbled shyly. 

They both needed to feel it at that moment. Chris needed to feel Richard wrapped around him and by the looks of it, Richard needed to feel like he was making Chris feel good by doing something positive. Chris smiled at him and turned around to be spooned by his little! There was a first for everything. Richard slightly pulled himself up to appear a bit taller than Chris so he could spoon him easier, but it still wasn't fitting. Richard was small and Chris was way broader than him, but the little boy somehow managed it. 

“You know? I've never been spooned before.” Chris said. It felt too good being held by his little love even though it was an absolute physical misfit, it still felt amazing. Richard squeezed him into his arms. “Never?” He asked, surprised. 

“Nope, you're taking daddy's virginity.” Chris joked. Richard giggled adorably. 

“Dada took all Reeshy’s virginities. Now it's Reeshy’s turn.” He said between giggles and made Chris laugh. “Reeshy never sfooned anyone, daddy. You're first.” He said. 

Chris took Richard's bandaged hand that was wrapped around him and kissed it. “I love being all your firsts, boo-boo.” It felt really nice being cared for that way. They were both so tired, they fell asleep. 

___________________

***December 2015***

Chris fastened his seat belt after the pilot made the usual speech in both English and Japanese. Till was sitting next to him already buried in a book. They were flying first class which was quite comfortable, but still Chris was very impatient to get home and see his little boy.

He did what he usually would do during long flights. He took a Xanax and fell right asleep. It wasn't healthy, but whatever. He needed the time to pass.

*----*

Richard hopped on the tram right after work and went to the airport. He had already groomed and made himself as handsome as possible for daddy. He had his black jeans on with a colorful boho style pashmina sweater and the jacket daddy had gotten him. He was having the usual amount of makeup on and his light blue nail Polish. He was planning on wearing his rainbow flag as a cape so daddy could quickly spot him. He already didn't like work. He didn't fancy working for Starbucks and contributing to their capitalism! He was seriously considering quitting and finding another job where he could actually learn something interesting and not ignore his morals all the time! He was a rebellious little! Yes, he was. 

After he arrived to the airport and found Chris's flight number and stood where he could see people coming out, he wore his flag and waited while playing on his phone. When the giant display announced that Chris's flight had landed, Richard was all eyes on the security counter. He was missing Chris so much and he was imagining seeing him in a few minutes and holding him. A lump of anticipation formed in his throat as he looked around with more intensity until… he finally saw daddy! They saw each other almost at the same time. Richard ran to him as fast as he could and then finally… daddy hoisted him up in his arms and Richard wrapped his legs around daddy's waist and they were holding each other so tight. Richard was practically high with happiness. He was crying and clutching to Chris hard. Richard lifted his head off daddy's shoulder and looked down at him and they kissed. Daddy's lips on his felt simply too good. 

“I wish I could get a welcoming ceremony that nice.” Richard heard a voice and the magic was gone. It was Chris's friend Till. Chris put Richard down and that was when Richard saw all the people around Chris. He already knew Francis and Mr. Lindemann. The rest were looking at Richard with a shocked amused expression which Richard didn't really like. He was sure that he was super blushed. Chris pulled him close and wrapped an arm around him. “Sweetheart, you already know Till and Francis. This is the rest of my team of engineers. Folks, Mr. Rainbow here is my boyfriend Richard.” Chris introduced them and Richard would just love to melt into a drop of water and be absorbed by the floor! Chris literally just introduced him as his boyfriend! He was internally screaming. Richard nodded shyly for them and said a quiet hi. After that, they all went to the parking area to get their cars and goodbyes were exchanged. Richard could see how impatiently Chris was driving while keep telling Richard how much he'd missed him. Everything felt like a faded memory. They got to Chris's apartment and Chris left his luggages in the car and just carried Richard into his apartment and the bedroom. 

“I wanna keep the flag on you.” Daddy whispered while he was basically ripping Richard's clothes off him. He kept the pride flag on Richard like a cape before laying him in bed and undress. “My little rainbow Knight.” He said with a smile and was on top of Richard with the bottle of lube in mere seconds and was kissing him all over. All Richard was capable of was moaning and opening his legs. 

“God, I've missed this. You… naked in my bed all the time. Baby, I want you more than anything.” He whispered harshly into Richard's ear before biting and sucking him there. Richard heard the bottle of lube being uncapped. He pushed his hips up and moaned. He gazed at Chris lubing his hard cock. He was kneeling between Richard's legs when he rubbed his luby fingers against Richard's extremely sensitive penis. Richard whimpered loudly and arched his back. Chris continued playing with Richard's tiny penis making him squirm in bed. Chris intensified the touch and was basically flicking Richard's penis now. Richard cried out in pleasure and felt his insides throbbing. He wanted Chris so bad! 

“Daddy, please please please…. Ahhhhh…” He nearly screamed. 

And Chris complied… Richard's cry turned into a pleasured sigh when daddy was finally inside him. Chris fucked him hard and fast like it was going to be the last time. Richard was just as impatient. He clutched to Chris while making contented noises and moaning. Chris slipped one hand onto Richard's hip, held on tight and slammed into him while vigorously kissing him. Richard whimpered into the kiss. He felt the sweet familiar built of a hard orgasm and before he could think of anything else, he was coming hard and throbbing around Chris. Chris grunted and slammed faster and fucked Richard harder. Richard whimpered loud when he felt daddy twitching inside him as he came. Chris hissed and slowed down and then, all Richard could feel was the satisfying feeling of being filled after daddy had come inside him. He had missed this so much that he never wanted this moment to end, he didn't want this bubble to burst, he… 

“Move in with me.” Richard suddenly heard daddy between short breathes. 

His eyes turned wide as he stared up and went motionless under Chris. Chris's eyes looked desperate. “I can't spend one more night without you. One week was enough. Come live with me, baby.” 

Richard swallowed and kept staring at Chris with his mouth fell open. A million thoughts in his head and no words in his mouth. Chris's expression turned into one of anxious regret. “I understand if it's too soon. I understand if you say no. But… please don't say no!” He practically begged. Richard read up on the regretful expression and tried to generate words. “NO!” He shouted in panic. He didn't want Chris to regret! 

Chris looked down at him, his eyes fell. Richard realized that what just happened. “No, I mean… I didn't mean no… I mean… it's complicated. I…” He trailed off. 

Chris got off him and lay next to him. “Why is it complicated, baby?” He asked, obviously trying to look calm. Richard was definitely not in little space now! 

“I'm too much trouble! You saw one glimpse of it last Friday. When I'm alone, at least I can pretend to be in my adult headspace. When I'm with you, I cannot pretend that therefore… I'll be too much! Plus… I can't afford to live here. There's no way I can afford half your rent.” He said with honesty. 

Chris smiled at him. “You were an adult the day I met you and instantly knew that I wanna see you again. But you were in little space when I fell in love with you. Richard, I love all sides of you. There's no such thing as too much Richard! I'll always need more of my little rainbow. As for your other issues. What rent? I bought this place. I don't pay rent. I know you're gonna turn the money thing into a pain in my ass! So, if you insist, you can pay 200€ per month for groceries. How about that?” 

Richard thought about it. It sounded fair. He couldn't deny how much he wanted to live with Chris. He wanted to spend every minute with that man. But there was still another problem… 

“But your apartment is so… adulty and serious.” He mumbled and pouted. 

“When you move in, it'll be our apartment. You can change the decoration however you like, baby. Your stuffies can have their own home in our bedroom. I want you to be comfortable.” He said, excited. Richard looked around and was already getting ideas, but more importantly… 

“I'd love to live with you.” He looked at Chris, his eyes bright. He snuggled to Chris and kissed his chest after Chris kissed his head. He held Richard tight in his arms. 

“I've never been happier, baby. Thank you.” Chris whispered to him genuinely and kissed him again. Richard felt so blessed he didn't know how to react. He just clutched to Chris and made small noises. 

“What's the first thing you wanna change?” Chris asked him. 

Richard looked around the room and then smiled up at Chris. “I want to hang my trans flag on the wall. And the rainbow flag, too. Cuz the gay has to be wif Reeshy at all times.” Richard said happily as he motioned towards the walls. Then he looked up at Chris. “We can buy a bisexual flag for daddy and hang that too.” He said shyly, trying to make up for acting so shitty about Chris's sexuality. 

Chris smiled and leaned in to kiss Richard's mouth. “These days… daddy's too gay for a bi flag, baby boy.” He whispered against Richard's lips making him giggle. 

“Puppy, we have a lot to do tomorrow. What do you say we get some sleep and then tomorrow after your school and my work, we start your moving process?” 

Richard yawned. “Hmm… I have to send an email to my landlord, daddy.” 

“Alright, sweetie. We'll do that tomorrow. Do you need anything before we go to sleep?” 

Richard blushed. “My pee-pee is a wittle sticky, daddy.” He mumbled very shyly. He could feel between his legs and around his hole were very sticky with Chris's release and it was a little uncomfortable to sleep like that. It was different when he'd go right to sleep after sex. 

“You're right, baby. Let's go wash your sweet pee-pee.” Chris said and got up helping Richard to get up too. Daddy gently washed between Richard's legs with the shower head and dried him with a soft towel. Then they were back to bed, snuggled up and ready to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dysphoria SUCKS.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love your comments and feedback, so please let me know what you think of this chapter.

Richard was back in that basement. The monster's basement. He had no idea how he'd gotten there. He was in a lot of pain. He was laying on the dirty floor of the dark room and could hear the disgusting noises of rats moving around. He had a horrible pain in his tummy and could feel blood trickling out of him into his underwear. He wasn't wearing any tampons or pads because as usual, his period was very inconsistent. He was a fifteen year old boy on his period kidnapped and imprisoned by his father. He moaned in pain and tried to get up, but went still when he heard footsteps from outside. 

“Hey, Rosy… Papa's here.” He heard that sick voice and it made him shiver. He heard chains rattling and locks being opened and then the monster entered. Richard curled in. 

He gasped in horror when he felt a rough grip in his hair. “Papa's here to help you, little missy.” He said in Richard's face. Richard was so horrified he couldn't even talk. 

“Your mama says you're a boy, Rosy. The cancer must've struck her brain, eh?” He laughed and it sounded like coughing. “By the time I'm done with you, you'll know who you are. Now tell Papa you're his girl.” He said and shook Richard's shoulders who muled in fear. The monster punched Richard in the stomach making him scream in pain. Richard tried to wriggle out of his grip but it was no help. 

“Say it, Rosy.” He shouted and punched Richard again. 

Richard could taste blood in his mouth. “Please p-please let me go.” He cried in panic and his voice was higher than ever. He was disgusted by his own female voice… 

“Not so fast. You owe me, Rosy. Remember? But first… let's prove you're a little girl.” He said with an evil tone and flattened Richard on his back and started taking Richard's pants off him. Richard tried to kick and scream but it was no use… he begged and cried… he begged so much but nothing… 

The monster cupped Richard's genitals and painfully pressed it. “Look at that… my girl is a grown woman now. She's bleeding…” He laughed out loud. 

“No no… stop… please, please stop, Papa. I'm not a girl… please don't touch me…” He cried and screamed but gasped and felt suffocated when he was punched right in his ribcage again  
****

Chris was startled out of sleep with Richard practically kicking him and shouting. It took him a second to realize what was happening. Richard was having a nightmare. Chris tried to hold him and wake him up, but the kid was all screams. “DON'T TOUCH ME, PAPA… NO…” Chris's heart torn at that. He gently shook Richard and called his name until the boy literally jumped out of the nightmare and began sobbing. “I'm not a girl… I'm not a girl… please… please don't hurt me.” He sobbed. It was devastating to witness and not being able to help him felt even worse. 

“You're not a girl, baby boy. It was just a nightmare. You're safe, Richard. You're safe, my love. Shhhh…” He tried to calm him down and it slightly worked. Richard stopped screaming and was now sobbing in Chris's chest. “That's it, my good boy… shhh… daddy's got you. You're home. You're safe.”

Richard suddenly stiffened in Chris's arms. “I'm bleeding.” He gasped, panicked and tore himself off Chris. Chris didn't know what to do! Richard moved around and turned the lights on. Chris shut his eyes tightly for a moment, then opened them. The sheets were clean. Richard stared at the sheets. 

“Sweetheart, it was a nightmare. You're not bleeding.” Chris said and got off the bed to go to Richard, but he ran straight to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Chris thought maybe he should give him a minute, and before he could decide what to do, Richard came out. He was shaking and was super pale. “I'm not bleeding.” He said quietly. Chris just sighed and pulled the boy into his arms. Richard's arms moved and wrapped around Chris's waist so hard that it slightly hurt! “You're safe, my sweet boy. No one can hurt you.” Chris whispered and kissed the top of Richard's head which was tucked under his chin. 

“The nightmares are real.” Richard said from Chris's chest and shivered. 

“What do you mean real?” Chris asked softly. 

Richard pulled away from him and crawled in bed. Chris followed him and held the boy into his arms. “They're like… flashbacks.” He said and clutched harder to Chris. 

“Do you want to tell me what exactly happened, sweetheart?” Chris asked carefully. 

Richard pulled away from him again and turned away from Chris. “The bleeding starts when he throws me in his basement. I'm in so much pain. I can hear rats everywhere. I hate rats. I'm so scared of them. He comes back in the basement to tell me that he's going to fix me. He says I'm a girl. I'm not. He says he's gonna prove it to me. He pulls my pants down… he… he… “ His voice broke and he sniffled. Chris was so horrified and disturbed that he had absolutely no idea how to react. He just wished he had seriously hurt that monster when he had the chance. What kinda father would do that to their own child? 

“He touches me… he says I'm a… a wo-woman now because I'm bleeding. He beats me and punches me until I say it… he makes me say it everyday but I don't… I can't… he beats me harder… he brings rats near me… every… single… day.” He trailed off and curled his body into a fetus form. Chris noticed that Richard would turn away every time while talking about his father, and his use of present tense was like it was constantly happening in his head. Chris shifted close and tentatively wrapped his arms around Richard. Richard let him, but he was very stiffened. 

“How long ago was it?” Chris asked softly, already knowing the answer but wanting to prove a point. 

“Three years ago.” Richard whispered. 

“Baby, you know it's over, don't you? He can't hurt you anymore. He doesn't even know where you are. I know how difficult it is to leave it behind, sweetheart, but for your own sake… we can try together. I know it's unforgettable. I'm not asking you to forget about it. I'm trying to assure you that you're safe. If you let it… let him… ruin the rest of your life, he'll win. You don't want him to win, do you? Richard… you're the strongest person I've ever met, and I've met some really strong people. You can talk about it, you can cry about it, all your emotions about it are absolutely valid. I'm here for you through everything, all of it. Now that we're moving in together, it's easier for me to protect you and be there for you. Ok, baby boy? You're absolutely safe. That's all I need you to understand.” Chris said all of that in a firm but soothing tone. 

Richard shifted around and turned to face Chris. His beautiful face was wet with tears but he wasn't crying anymore. Chris smiled at him. Richard didn't. He just stared at Chris with an unreadable expression. “Daddy, can I… can I touch you?” He whispered. 

Chris nodded. Richard put his hand on the side of Chris's face and very softly nuzzled down to his neck and stopped on his chest. Richard swallowed and opened his mouth to say something but then closed it with hesitation. Chris just waited patiently and allowed the boy to do whatever he felt like doing. 

Richard stared at Chris's chest and finally spoke. “Are… are you ok with me not letting you t-touch me here?” He asked quietly while his hand was still on Chris's chest. 

Chris took a deep breath before replying. “I want your pleasure and comfort, and my pleasure is in making you feel good and well… other things. Does that answer your question?” 

“What other things?” He asked, and this time, looked up at Chris. 

“When you move in… there will be rules. I'm your daddy, which means you obey the rules. We'll write them down together and hang them in the room so we're sure you wouldn't forget them.” Chris said. He believed that by using discipline, he could actually help Richard heal at least a little bit. Also, rules were kind of the essence to their daddy/little relationship. 

Richard looked up with huge eyes and an stuck out bottom lip. He looked like a tiny puppy like that! “What kinda wules?” He asked. 

“Rule number one would probably be no more being messy. I've seen your room, baby. This apartment will never look like that. Daddy's got a bit of an OCD.” He said jokingly but firmly. Richard grinned at him. 

“Wa happens if Reeshy be messy?” He asked. 

“He'll be punished.” Chris said, straight forward. 

“Spankies?” He grinned again. The little devil. 

“No. By the looks of it, spanking you equals rewarding you. Punishment would be something like daddy not touching you for a couple hours.” Chris said, and gave his little a winning smile.

Richard's eyes grew round, then he pouted aggressively. “Reeshy object!” 

“Objection denied.” Chris chuckled and pounded the imaginary gavel in the air. 

“I pumish daddy then. Reeshy sleep on the couch tonight.” He said in a pouty manner and pulled away from Chris and got out of bed. 

“Richard, get back in here.” Chris called. 

“No!” He left the room and shut the door. Chris sighed and before he could get up and go bring Richard back, the door opened and Richard ran fast to the bed and snuggled to Chris and pressed himself to Chris as close as possible. “Dark in the wiving room. So dark. Too dark.” He mumbled from Chris's chest. Chris chuckled and held him tight into his arms. “I pumish dada when sun is out.” He said. 

“Baby boy? Why do you want to punish daddy?” 

“Because daddy said he not touch Reeshy.” He squeezed Chris's shoulders in his grip probably to assert his littleness dominance. It made Chris smile affectionately. 

“Baby, I said I punish you if you don't listen to me and if you disobey the rules we write together. We'll get a piece of paper, we write the rules, if you're uncomfortable with any of them, you'll tell me, we reason and if you're still not convinced, we'll scrape it out. Do you need daddy to reason with you about not being messy?” Chris asked with a rhetorical tone. 

Richard looked up from Chris's embrace. He eyed around and then nodded with his usual stuck out bottom lip. Chris bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling. “We're humans who live in a home. It's not a jungle. That a good reason for Prince baby?” Chris said sarcastically. 

“I baby. I not hooman!” He mumbled. 

Ok, that was it. Chris pushed him flat on the bed and started tickling him all over while the boy giggled and wiggled like crazy under him. “Babies… are… human. You-are-daddy’s-little-human-puppy.” He said between tickles. Richard was screaming with laughter now. “Imma pee-pee, Dada. Stop stop… “ He begged, and when Chris stopped, he lay there out of breath. He rolled over to snuggle to Chris's chest. 

“I pwomise not be messy, dada Chris.” He mumbled and yawned. 

“Good baby. Let's get some sleep now. We have sooo much to do tomorrow.” Chris said. Richard didn't respond. Chris looked down and saw he was already asleep! He looked so peaceful and all trace of panic from his nightmare was gone. 

______________________________

“Are you seriously moving in with him?” Paul asked, shocked. 

It was Monday evening. That morning, Chris drove Richard to his dorm early and went to work. Richard emailed his landlord and informed him that he was moving out ASAP and asked for a deposit withdrawal. After that, he went to the university. He didn't see Paul until after he was back from school. 

“Yah! He asked me last night. I didn't want to at first, but then I did want to!” Richard said after pouring some orange juice into his sippy cup. Paul was used to Richard's baby stuff by now. Officially, he had no idea Richard was a little, but Richard was sure that his friend could put two and two together. He sat on the couch next to Paul. 

“I'm gonna miss you!” Paul pouted and looked at Richard, then wrapped one arm around him. Richard cuddled to his friend. It felt really nice. “Me too, Paulie. But we'll see each other all the time. Promise.” They'd been friends for only two months, but it felt like a lot longer than that. 

“Hey, what if I ask Nikki to move in? Do you think she'd agree?” He asked happily. 

Richard pulled away from Paul and took a sip. “Pretty sure she would. She loves ya.” 

“I love her too! I know we're, like, only eighteen or whatever… but I think when we're older, I really wanna marry her!” He shrugged. 

Richard cheered loudly and hugged him. “Paul, that's great! I'll be your wedding planner.” 

Paul laughed. “Dude, wedding planners are supposed to be super social people. You barely ask the prof when you have questions during a lecture!” 

Richard pouted. “You're right! You do the talking, I'll do the planning.” 

Before Paul could respond, the doorbell rang. Richard got up and walked to the door while drinking his juice. “It's probably Nikki.” He said before opening the door. It was Chris carrying a bunch of unassembled brown paper cartons under his arms. Richard squealed happily. He didn't expect Chris. 

“Hey, baby.” He smiled and walked in and kissed Richard briefly. 

“I didn't know you were coming.” Richard said happily and helped Chris with the cartons. 

“Brought these for you. Thought I could help you pack. Is that ok?” He asked. 

Richard wrapped his arms around Chris's neck and kissed him. “It's great. Thank you so much.” He smiled. 

“Hello, Paul. How are you?” He politely greeted Paul. 

“What's up, Mr. Schneider. I see you're stealing my roommate. He was my personal bakar.” Paul joked. 

“He's never baked for me. What's up with that, young man?” He asked Richard. 

Richard pouted. “I never got the chance. You always wanna eat out!” 

Chris chuckled. “Eat you out?” He whispered so Paul couldn't hear. 

Richard blushed deep and smacked daddy's shoulder. Chris laughed. “Have you two had dinner or do we need to order something?” Chris asked them. 

“I made grilled cheese and we ate them.” Paul replied. 

“Have you had dinner?” Richard asked Chris. It felt kind of strange to speak with Chris with a regular adult tone. He really wanted to be all over Chris and be his baby all the time. 

“I had a huge lunch with Till and the board. Don't think I'll get hungry anytime soon.” He said. “Wanna go pack? Or you want me to leave these here for you?” He asked. 

“Noooo, don't go!” Richard pleaded. 

Chris smiled and nodded in agreement. After Paul announced that he'll be in his room and left, Chris turned to Richard and nodded towards Richard's room. “You… in there.” He said with a smirk. 

“Yes, sir.” Richard said playfully and kangaroo-jumped to his room. 

“This room is giving me a heart attack.” Daddy said and clutched to his heart, then pretended to have a heart attack. He threw himself on Richard's bed. Richard giggled and straddled on top of him. “Noooo, daddy, don't attack your heart.” He shouted cheerfully and leaned down, holding Chris's hand. Daddy laughed and kissed him. 

“How are you this cute?” He asked, and kissed Richard before he could generate a reply. Richard lay on top of Chris in the position of a frog and hid his face in the crook of daddy's neck. Chris held onto Richard's hips and kissed his neck. “I was thinking maybe we could pack everything up tonight and tomorrow. Since you work during the weekend and I can't wait that long to have you all to myself.” He said. 

Richard hummed with a smile. “I wuv it, dada, but I'm finking of quitting my job.” He mumbled. 

Daddy shifted under him and turned his head to look at Richard seriously, with a hint of relief. “Why?” He asked. 

Richard sat up on his knees top of him and shrugged. “I don't wike chain stores. I wanna do somefing good. I also don't wike Jake.” 

“Why don't you like him, baby?” He asked softly while gently running his fingers over Richard's thighs. 

Richard looked down. “He flirts wif me, and stares at my… my bum-bum. I'm uncomfortable.” He mumbled shyly. This was half of Jake’s inappropriate actions. He had never touched Richard, of course. But the language he used and his words were very uncomfortable for Richard. 

Chris's eyes grew round and angry. He sat up on his elbows. “Seems to me like he's the one who needs to be removed.” 

“No, daddy. I don't wanna work there anymore. I wanna do somefing nice and good. Like… like a small business.” He said shyly. 

Chris raised both eyebrows and smiled proudly. ”What type of business?” 

Richard got off Chris and replied while walking to his closet. “I used to do it in my hometown. I still do it for myself. Why not make money off it? I can make pretty things. Bags, clothes, crafts, jewelry… even cookies. Look at this. I made it while you were away. Took me two hours.” He happily showed Chris the colorful bag he'd made for himself. Chris sat up and took the bag from Richard looking at it with a big smile. “I used to make like 200 per month. I can draw things too, and if I make more things, I can sell more.” He had thought about this a lot. 

“It's so beautiful, baby. Great job, sweetheart.” He smiled proudly and gave Richard the bag back. “But isn't it very time consuming? You have school and your assignments.” He said. 

Ugh, the grown up approach. Nothing is practical enough! Richard slightly rolled his eyes which earned a nasty look from daddy. “I can do it! It'll be like having a part time job. I'll work for like five hours a day.” 

“Ok, but if it hurt your studies, you'll stop! I'm serious, Richard. Roll your eyes as much as you want, but school is the most important thing for you right now. Actually, no. Eye rolling is not allowed!” He said seriously. 

Richard grinned and knelt between daddy's legs. “Yes, king daddy.” He said devilishly. 

Chris narrowed his eyes at him, and smiled. He chuckled while speaking. “No, don't gimme that sexy little look. You're not getting any before packing. Come on, little guy.” 

Richard whined and pouted. “You need discipline, little boy.” Daddy said seriously. 

“I neeeeed daddy.” Richard whined stubbornly. 

“You need daddy to discipline you. Do you want daddy's num-num? Hmm?” He asked with a hoarse voice and fondled Richard's neck. Richard nodded. Suddenly, Chris gripped Richard's shoulders pulling him up. “Then get to packing.” He smirked. 

“Daddy, are you using your num-num to get Reeshy to do fings?” Richard asked in a pouty manner. This was totally unfair! 

“I am. You got a problem with that?” He raised both eyebrows, and was obviously masking his laugh. There was no arguing! Richard pouted and shook his head and went to his closet and they got to packing Richard's stuff. It really was a mess! Clothes, underwear, stationery, stuffies and legos, sewing kits, colorful fabrics, canvases and brushes, nail Polish, makeups, an extremely huge amount of anime related things and DIY stuff which went into their own separate box. After half hour, Richard ended up playing with his stuffies in the corner of his room while daddy was packing, which, for some reason was unacceptable for daddy! He took a hold of Richard's arm and dragged him back in the middle of the messy room and gave him packing chores to get done. Ugh! 

Daddy was folding Richard's t-shirts putting them into the luggage while Richard was supposed to pack his pens and pastels and brushes. He was humming a song under his breath. It was hallelujah melody stuck in his head, so he picked up his electric guitar and started playing it and singing his own lyrics. 

“Well I've heard there was a secret chord  
That baby played and it pleased Dada,  
But you don't really care for Reeshy, do you?  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth, the fifth, Mr. Bear and Chichi lift  
The baffled baby composing Hallelujah… “ He hummed the rest cuz he had no more lyric to match with it. He giggled when he saw daddy looking at him with his facepalm expression. 

“The baffled baby?” Chris asked with a comical expression. 

“It's almost Christmas, daddy.” He said happily and stopped playing. 

“I've never seen you play. That was pretty good, baby.” He smiled proudly. 

Richard blushed and smiled and put his electric guitar in its case. “I love playing guitar.” 

They didn't get to pack Richard's stuff from the kitchen that night, but his bedroom was almost finished. Three cartons and one huge luggage and one duffle bag. They carried that stuff to Chris's car. It was too late to do anything else so they drove back to Chris's apartment. No! It was their apartment now. Richard thought. He was so tired and sleepy. When daddy was helping him take his clothes off, Richard started unbuttoning his shirt. “Now be a good dada and gib baby num-num.” He said and pouted because his authoritative tone failed. 

“Baby, I'm gonna pretend you did not just say that. Sit down. It's time to write the rules.” Chris replied and didn't let Richard finish unbuttoning his shirt.Richard stared at him stubbornly but pleadingly. 

______

“How is one tiny human so horny all the time?” Chris chuckled while he was getting a notepad. Richard squeaked in protest an thumped his right foot on the floor. Chris dropped the notepad and the pen on the bed. Then, went to his little brat and basically snatched him off the floor onto his shoulder. Richard giggled and squealed loudly. Chris sat down on the bed and slipped Richard off his shoulder and settled him over his knees. “You want spankies?” He asked playfully. 

Richard wiggled his ass in Chris's lap and squealed happily. Chris laughed and took Richard's jeans down to his mid thighs and began playfully spanking him. Nothing that could hurt him, or resemble a scene. The boy was laughing and giggling and gradually, his giggles turned into satisfied little noises. “Is this what you want?” Chris asked. 

“Uhuuuh…” He raised his ass slightly up. 

Chris stopped and spat on his fingers and reached between Richard's legs and began playing with him. His tiny penis was slightly hard, and Chris couldn't stop himself from commenting. It was the first time he was feeling it hard! It felt… heavenly. 

“Baby, you're hard for me.” He said with a hint of surprise. He had no idea that erections were possible for trans men with clitoral growth. 

Richard only hummed, probably thinking Chris was just dirty talking. “Richard, your penis is actually hard. Let me look at it.” He said and made Richard sit up.

“What?” Richard sat back. His eyes resembling shock.

“Stand up, baby. Let me see it.” Chris said and helped Richard stand up, then took his pants and underwear completely off him. Richard excitedly looked down at himself. 

“My pee-pee is hard, daddy.” He shouted excitedly. He had tears in his eyes. Chris could understand how much this meant to him. Chris gently pulled his labia apart. Yes. It was definitely hard, and so beautiful. Chris looked up at him. “My little man.” He whispered and slipped off the bed and knelt in front of Richard, holding onto the boy's hips and looked up at him. “Daddy wants to give you a blow job, baby.” He said and gently took the tiny growth into his mouth. It was about four centimeters long now. Chris knew how much having someone on their knees and sucking you could be masculinizing and amazing. He tried bobbing his head as best as he could to make Richard feel as good as possible. He licked underneath it and looked up at Richard. His reaction at that moment worth a million dollar. He looked horny, shocked, excited, happy and impossibly beautiful. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open while he was breathing short and fast. The muscles of his stomach were dancing frantically. He clutched to Chris's hair and stared at where his flesh was inside Chris's mouth. Chris sucked him and licked his penis until Richard was basically shaking while pulling Chris's hair out of his scalp. It hurt so sweet! Chris sucked him harder, it literally felt like sucking on a candy! Richard's rugged breathing told him that the boy was close. He wouldn't have any edaculation so Chris could only feel the contractions and hear Richard's noises to know when he was done, and when he was… he gasped and clutched to Chris and made tiny noises of orgasm. Chris let go and looked up at his face. He smiled at Richard and licked his lips then stood up. Richard was still shaking. Chris took him into his arms and the boy melted. After a few seconds, Chris remembered that Richard was still wearing his binder! Before he could say anything, Richard pulled away and for the first time, began undressing Chris. He wasn't in little space. He wasn't even in his generic adult space. He looked confident and serious and so hot! Chris let him take charge and see what would happen. When he was undressed and Richard was still wearing his t-shirt and binder, he gently pushed into Chris's shoulders like he was silently asking him to lay down. Chris complied and lay on his back. He was hard. Richard opened the nightstand and got the lube. Chris smiled at that. The boy was already lived in! 

Chris was still worried about the binder and the fact that in five minutes, Richard would be short of oxygen supply! “Sweetheart, you can't breathe easily… your binder-”

“No, please. Don't.” Richard pleaded with quite a raised voice. Chris nodded.  
Richard looked down at Chris's cock and then the lube. Probably not sure how to do it. Chris decided not to say anything and just observe. Richard uncapped the bottle and poured an excessive amount on Chris's cock, then, took a deep breath and held it in his hand and slowly stroked it to coat it with the lube. Chris sighed and tried his best not to move. Richard's soft hand on his hard flesh felt amazing. Richard breathed and moved into position and straddled Chris. He sat up right and reached between his legs and very slowly sat on Chris's cock and bit his lips while letting out a small moan. Chris quietly hissed to the hot tight feeling wrapping around him. Richard leaned forward and laced their fingers together putting them on the sides of Chris's head. Richard started off slow and softly built up to it. Chris intently looked at Richard's beautiful face. He looked so positively demanding. He was using Chris's body to make himself feel good and Chris found himself absolutely enjoying that feeling. Richard picked up his pace as his moans and grunts turned louder and he had his face in the crook of Chris's neck now. The sound of slapping flesh on flesh and Richard's delicious noises in his ear and his hot and wet insides, were driving Chris mad. After a long time of that, Richard was quite out of breath and he obviously had difficulty keeping up balance because his knees were probably hurting but he just continued… one… two… three… and a few more and right at the emotional climax, Chris heard Richard's special “orgasm” noises and felt his insides squeeze around him and it practically pushed Chris over the edge. He came hard and shot inside Richard and had no idea which pulsating belonged to which of them. Richard let go of Chris's hands and went motionless on top him with Chris's cock still flexing inside him. Chris wrapped his arms around the boy and kissed the side of his head. It was the first time they had sex without kissing, and yet it was probably the most emotional. 

They just lay there in silence until Richard tried to move. He was too worn out to move, so Chris helped him and laid him on his back and just lay next to him and looked at his utter beauty. Richard suddenly sat up and began inspecting his genitals. He looked back at Chris, pouting. “Not hard anymore.” 

Chris smiled and looked down at himself. “Me too, baby.” Then he sat up and looked between Richard's legs and kissed his inner thighs. “How are you feeling?” He asked and laid his head in his little’s lap. Richard looked down at him and began playing with his curls. 

“I can harden my pee-pee now. Daddy better watch out.” He said comically, and was almost back to his little language. 

Chris laughed loud. “But daddy's not a bottom, my little hardy boy.” Of course, Richard's penis was too small for it to penetrate easily, but they were not going to mention that. 

Richard smiled at him. “It's ok, dada. Reeshy not a top.” 

Chris chuckled. “No, you're daddy's little cowboy.” Richard giggled and it was literally the most beautiful sound. Chris reached with his hand and gently tickled Richard's chin. “You know I love you, right?” He asked earnestly.Richard locked eyes with him for a few seconds before nodding. 

Chris got up and spoke. “Ok, let's get you out of that binder and get your big boy pee-pee washed. We'll unpack and write the rules tomorrow. Don't think I've forgotten.” Chris said and picked up the notepad from the bed shaking it in front of a pouty Richard. He eventually agreed to take his binder off and after a quick shower, they were happily snuggled up in bed. Richard clung to him and hummed his way into a cute slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait for the day I move to Berlin!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff and psychology for your weekend.

It was four days later when they finally found time to settle Richard in and start unpacking his boxes. Before everything, they sat together and wrote the rules. Richard pouted a lot, but finally agreed to all of it. They also wrote punishments and agreed on a safe word. Richard wanted his safe word to be Pikachu! And that reminded Chris of the souvenirs he had brought Richard from Tokyo. He kept some of the stuff hidden away to give them to the boy as special presents since they were mostly vintage anime stuff, or kinky toys which were for the both of them, but Chris wasn't planning on using them anytime soon. For now, just light spanking was enough for Richard. He didn't want to hurt the boy’s psyche.

Chris's loft was quite spacious so they had no problem fitting Richard's stuff. Chris thought now that the boy wanted to start his own little business, it'd be cool to redecorate the extra empty room and call it Richard's workshop, but he decided to keep it a secret for now and work on it later. The first thing Richard did after officially moving in, was installing his rainbow flag over the bed. It gave the bedroom some sort of personality which Chris really liked. It brought the room to life. They were in the gigantic closet in the bedroom now and Richard was going through the drawers and putting his stuff there and Chris was clearing some more space for him in the bathroom when he heard Richard's voice from behind him. “Daddy, wook what Reeshy found.” 

Chris turned around and saw one of his old photo albums in the boy's hand. “I didn't wook at anyfing, but am I allowed to? I won't if it personal.” 

“Let me see which one is it.” Chris smiled and took the album from him and opened it. “Ahhh… this is my entire four years of bachelor degree summed up. Haven't seen this in years. Of course you can look at it. Here, let's do it together.” They sat on the bed and Chris told him about each photo. He had always been fascinated with analog photography that's why he had most of his life in actual photos. Richard listened with fascination to the stories. It was all Chris's travels and backpacking and parties and exam days,,, and Till was in all of them! 

“Daddy, you wook so happy here.” Richard giggled and put his finger on a photo, then asked. “Who are the others?” 

“This is after we graduated and went to southern France for vacation. We made some friends there. I can't believe it's been nine years.” He said remembering those days with a giant smile. 

“Who's this, daddy?” Richard put his finger on the guy in the photo whom Chris's arm was wrapped around, and their heads were leaned towards each other. 

“That's Enzo. We met on a beach party during that vacation. That trip was when I got to be with a man for the first time. He… was that man.” He replied with a smile. 

“Did you wuv him?” Richard asked with his disarmingly huge eyes. 

Chris smiled broadly at him. “I was 22, and he was the first guy I've been with and we only hooked up during that vacation and then said goodbye. I didn't love him. I was excited by the idea of him.” 

“So he wasn't your boo-boo?” He asked, obviously more relieved. 

Chris chuckled and pulled the boy close. “You're my one and only boo-boo. He's just a one-decade-ago French memory.”

Richard looked up. There was something resembling worry in his eyes. “How-how many people have you been wif?”

Chris sighed. “I have never counted them.” 

Richard gave him a look of “don't bullshit me”

“No, Richard. Don't give me that look. It's not a fair question, baby. I'm thirteen years older than you, of course I've been with lots of people.” He said heartedly. 

“This means I have all those lots of people to compete with.” Richard mumbled and looked down. 

“It's not a competition! I've never been so head over heels in love before! This is a first for me. I've had partners whom I liked a lot, but never in love. I've never lived with a partner before. Richard, you have nothing to be jealous of or insecure about. This… us… is as new to me as it is to you.” He said seriously while standing up in front of Richard. 

“It's not true.” Richard almost shouted and he had tears in his eyes. “You don't get it.” He pulled his knees into his embrace. 

“Enlighten me then!” Chris said, frustrated. His little boy definitely had a temper. He'd always get upset with one tiny snap and then it was shouts and tears. 

“You never have to wonder if you're… if you're…” He blushed and looked down. Chris frowned in curiosity. He went and sat next to Richard on the bed and murmured to him. “If I'm what, baby? Tell me. What it is that you're so worried about?” 

“When you… I… when you're playing wif me. I woways fink that… that I not good enough. Because I don't know how to do fings, but you're so good at it.” He mumbled and Chris could see his blood rushing to his ears. 

“You think you're not good in bed?” Chris asked. He finally got to the bottom of Richard's insecurity with Chris's past. The boy nodded. 

“Ok, let me tell you something so you know how ridiculous it is to think that way…. Richard, I'm a thirty-one year old busy man and you're so incredibly sexy that it makes me fuck you at least twice a day! Before you, I couldn't remember the last time I was physically able to orgasm two times a day. That's how good you are. I have dirty fantasies about you while I'm at work! That's how good you are. You literally have nothing to worry about in that area, or any other areas.” Chris said with honesty. The fact that Richard didn't believe how hot he was, was making him even hotter. Richard looked up at him with his stuck out bottom lip and crawled into Chris's lap and cuddled to him and laid his head on Chris's shoulder. He was so small and yet so squishy and soft and perfect for cuddling! Chris smiled and held the warm body tight into his arms. “Dada?” He quietly called. 

“Hm?” 

“You have to tell Reeshy those fantasies.” He whispered and giggled when Chris laughed. 

“How about I show him later?” Chris asked when Richard looked down at him. The boy made a devilish little face and nodded frantically. 

“Oh, before I forget… I have a surprise for you. It's your invitation.” Chris said. 

“What invitation?” Richard blinked. 

Chris got up and put Richard down, and went to his closet and fished out an envelope from his jacket pocket. 

____________

Richard waited for daddy, curious to see the surprise. Daddy handed him an envelope and it had Richard's name at the back of it with a fancy handwriting. ‘Mr. Richard Kruspe’ Richard opened it. It was an invitation card to a charity event for the…. Richard squealed happily. It was the fundraising party for the orphanage in Richard's hometown. It was supposed to be held in a hotel in Berlin that weekend. 

“I invited all the people from the orphanage as well, along with Sophia. I thought you'd be more comfortable if we hold it here instead of there. They'll stay in this hotel for the night and I invited everyone I knew who would cooperate.” Daddy told him. Richard was in tears! He went and hugged Chris tightly. This man was an angel. “Daddy, you're amazing. Thank you. Oh my God, I can't believe this. I love you so much.” 

“Wait a minute… you can't believe you love me?” Daddy asked with a fake hurt tone. 

“Noooo.” Richard giggled and jumped up and wrapped his limbs around daddy who grunted and held onto Richard's hips. “It's umpossible to wuv someone this much.” He said. 

“Umpossible?” Daddy repeated. Richard nodded and giggled. “By the way, Saturday morning, I'm taking you shopping for a suit.” He said. 

“A suit? F-for what?” Richard asked. 

“For the event, baby. You need a suit. Or do you have one?” He asked. 

“I-I've never worn a suit before!” He said, scared. 

“Ok then, we'll go to my usual shop and get you one, sweetheart.” Daddy said and looked excited. Richard nodded. 

Then he remembered,,, he was gathering all his courage to talk to Chris about this and now seemed like a good time. “Daddy? Reeshy need to talk to you about somefing.” He said, and slowly unwrapped his legs and daddy put him down. 

“OK? Let's sit down.” He said with a curios frown and sat down on the bed. Richard didn't. He didn't want to look Chris in the eye while talking about this! He sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor. 

“I… I read somefings.” He mumbled while looking down and playing with his fingers. “About… um… d-do you remember whem… we talked about…” He trailed off and took a deep breath. 

“It's ok, baby. You can tell me anything.” Daddy said with a soft tone. 

Richard took another deep breath. If he wanted something, he needed to ask for it! “I… I want you to… to um… to do fings to me.” He said without looking up. 

“What do you mean do things to you, baby?” Chris asked, confused. 

“L-like we talked about. B-um… when I asked if you ever had a wittle before and yo-you said you were into role playing.” He mumbled. He was so nervous, he thought he was just babbling which he definitely was! 

“Baby, were you gonna say bdsm?” Daddy asked. 

Richard was sure he was crimson. He nodded and started scratching on his nail Polish. He heard daddy moving and saw that he was sitting right in front of him now. “Come here, sweetheart.” He said and held his arms out to Richard. Richard crawled to him and was seated in daddy's lap now. He was still looking down. “Look at me, baby.” He said and took Richard's chin making him look up. Richard looked into those striking blue eyes. 

“You know daddy loves you a lot, right?” He asked. Richard nodded shyly. 

“I know I said that we're gonna play and do some kinky things together, but I changed my mind… for now at least.” He said seriously. 

Richard swallowed and felt his gut clenching. For some reason, he felt humiliated. “Wh-why not?” He managed to ask with a hoarse voice. It was probably because he wasn't good enough for that. Of course! 

“I… no, we both need more time to get to know each other better. There's a lot I need to learn about you before I can engage in that sort of thing with you. I don't want to accidentally trigger you or do something that reminds you of your past. And since I know how you are in your little space, I know that you're far too deep in it to be able to protest properly.” He said. Richard just wanted to curl into a ball and die! “Sweetheart, I just want to be honest with you. I don't wanna give you some lame excuse.” He added. 

“You said you're into it. You said you done it wif other people. You knew all of them so well?” He asked almost challengingly. 

Chris sighed. “I…” He sighed again. “I've never been with someone who's been through even half the things you've been through. And none of them were little, and there wasn't this much emotions involved. Richard, I love you too much to be able to handle the idea of hurting you in anyway. If we ever gonna do something like that, it's not gonna be anytime soon. I need you to understand this, and not take it as a reason to feel insecure.” He said seriously. But of course, Richard would take it as a reason to feel insecure. He just got rejected by his daddy! And the reason was that he was too fucked up to be able to do certain things and have the sex life he wanted. Daddy's words, not Richard's! 

“I'm too messed up, aren't I?” He asked rhetorically and quietly. Of course he was. He was always aware of that, but he thought engaging in bdsm could help him, and daddy was denying him. Chris just sighed and held Richard into his arms. 

“Rule number one in bdsm is mutual consent, and right now, I can't consent to this, sweetheart. I have my own issues to work through as well, can you give daddy some time?” Chris said almost pleadingly. Richard wrapped his arms around daddy's neck and nodded against his neck. “Reeshy is here for daddy.” He said and he meant it. He wanted to be there for Chris, but sometimes it was as though, Chris considered him to be too little to open up to. “I know I wittle, dada. But Reeshy listens anytime dada want to talk about his issues.” He mumbled shyly. 

“Aww, baby boy. I know you would. You're my sweet little man. But I need to figure them out before being able to talk about them, ok? I'll tell you when I know.” He said proudly and kissed Richard's face several times. 

_________________

On Friday during lunch, Chris had to tell Richard that he had a lunch meeting and couldn't have him in his office for lunch. Because by now, Richard coming to Chris's office for lunch at least twice a week, had become a ritual. But Chris didn't exactly have a business meeting that day. He was having lunch with Sophia, Richard's former psychiatrist and current friend, in his office. The party was on Saturday night and initially, Chris was planning on talking to Sophia there, but with what Richard had asked him a few days ago about engaging in bdsm, Chris had become very aware of the need to talk to Sophia in a more private environment. 

“Sir, Ms. Wagner is here.” Francis knocked and announced when she opened the door. Chris got up and went to the door. 

“Sophia, thank you so much for coming.” He briefly kissed her on the cheek. Francis had already left the room. 

“Thank you for inviting me, and I have to say, it's amazing what you're doing.” She said and they sat down at the dining table in Chris's confess room where the lunch was. 

“If that place saved Richard from more self-destruction, I'll do anything in my power to save it from being destroyed.” He said with honesty. 

“I'm really glad he's opening up to you quite well. On a Richard scale, I think he's handling this relationship pretty well.” She said with a smile as they started to eat. 

“How do you know he's opening up to me?” Chris asked. 

“Well, what you just said implied that he's talked about his self-destructive tendencies with you. Also, because he told me.” She replied. 

“I see. So he talks with you as well?” This was interesting!

“He calls me, like, once a week. When you were in Japan, it was once a day.” She smiled. 

“Does this mean you're still his therapist?” 

“Not officially, but I still consider what he tells me as confidential.” She said seriously. 

“Oh, don't get me wrong. I wasn't going to ask about what he tells you. I was just wondering if it was ok for me to talk with you about some specific aspects of our relationship.” Chris stated. 

“As a friend or as a therapist?” She asked. 

“Definitely as a professional. I want your honest and impersonal opinion and I want a promise of one hundred percent confidentiality. This is why I decided to pay for this session with you. So that it's not personal at all.” He said. 

Sophia considered him for a moment. “Why not go to another professional?” 

“Richard's case is very specific and I prefer to get advice from his therapist. Just better help, and I won't have to repeat Richard's stories for you cuz you already know.” He replied. 

She nodded. “Ok, how can I help you?” 

Chris took a deep breath. “I think it's safe to assume that you're aware of the nature of our relationship.” 

“You mean the nature in which he calls you daddy and considers you his ultimate protector in every way?” She asked. 

Chris raised both eyebrows. He had never thought of it like that. “Yes, that one… the person who has hurt him the most in his life was his father. Pure mental and physical torture which is still haunting him. The fact that he calls me that, has been bothering me lately. I'm worried he's associating me with his father somewhere in his mind, and deep down, has the same fears of me. At the very beginning of our relationship, it really did look like he was scared of me.” Chris finally admitted that. 

“The important thing to understand here, is that Richard's past regarding his parents is defining his personality. As it does with everyone. But his was very scarring. His age regression is the result of an involuntary need to be a baby that is unaware of his surroundings and requires only love and attention. Because the second he stopped being a baby and realized in what sort of environment he was living, all the mental and physical abuses started. That was around his fourth year of living when his father would beat him and then his parents got a divorce but the beating didn't stop, so his mind chose to stay in the the state of peace which was before he turned four. This is a defense mechanism. It's actually quite rare, but it exists. As for what you said… he associates you with A father, not HIS father. He never got the fatherly love he needed from his father, he got quite the opposite. As I know he's told you, his father almost sold him as a sex toy when he was only eleven. This is not something you easily forget, Mr. Schneider.” 

“He considers me his father and has sex with me at the same time. When I think about this… it's a bit unsettling to me. I most definitely don't consider him my son!” Chris said. 

She remained quiet for a few seconds. “It's a little hard to explain this… but I'll try. When I say father, I don't mean the type of father who caused your birth. I mean a parental figure. Someone who protects you, raises you, helps you, feeds you, cleans you even, dresses you or takes care of you in any way. Whatever that a parent is supposed to do for their infant. The sex is… not only a physical need for him. This is just my theory, but I'm almost sure Richard could never have satisfying sex with someone he doesn't get any guardian type protection from. For all of us, sex is also an emotional need, but for Richard, this type of need for sex, in this case sex with you, comes from a very deeper place. His mentality needs it a lot more than his body does. It's something extremely sacred and special to him, because he gets attached to you in a literal way. It's in no way in association with his father. In fact, the closer he gets to you, the more his mind is able to re-write some things. Because it's like it's swapping. In long term, this could help him heal, especially since he says he never wants to take any meds for any of his mental disorders.” She explained. 

Chris stared at his plate for a few minutes. He, then, got up and lit up a cigarette. “Does he need medication?” He asked. 

“At this point, meds would only have a worse effect, because they trigger him and remind him too much of when he committed suicide and the mental state he was in back then, and then the loss of his mother constantly gets renewed in his head. We don't want that.” 

“He asked me to engage in bdsm with him. And most of the time, during sex, he basically begs me to smack him or to go very rough on him. I refused his bdsm request because I figured it could be very triggering to him, and also because I can't stop thinking about how fucked up it'd be for me to tie down an eighteen year old and put him through pain for fun when he's already been through the real deal type of pain inflicted by his father.” Chris said. 

“This could actually be good for him. It's controlled pain. I've read about therapeutic bdsm. He'll know exactly what's gonna happen and in reality, the power of stopping it will be in his hands, but virtually, he'll have zero control over it, just like he had zero control with his father. But… the difference would be in the pleasure given to him by you. Again, the process of rewriting memories in his mind. He'll replace at least some of it. Of course, I strongly urge you to do your complete research before engaging in anything of that sort if you don't have any experiences. But… if the thought of engaging in bandage bothers you personally, then don't do it. You have to put your own feelings above anyone else.” She said straight forward. 

“The only thing bothering me, is the idea of him imagining his father everytime we're having sex or engage in kink.” Chris said. 

“Oh, no. That's never the case.” 

Before Chris could say anything else, his phone rang. “Sorry, I have to take this. It's Richard.” He said. 

“Of course.” She smiled. 

“Hey, baby.” 

“Hiiiii, dada. I sent selfies. You didn't write back, so Reeshy got sad and called.” 

“I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm in the middle of a meeting. I didn't hear my phone.” 

Richard gasped and said hurriedly. “Sowy, dada. Just wanted to ask you if I could write my rules on another paper and draw around it and make it pretty. This one is ugly and I can't obey them because they ugly!” He complained in a bratty tone. 

Chris chuckled. “You can do that, but don't change any words. I'll check it when I'm home, ok?” 

“Yessir. Wuvo, sir daddy. Biiiii.” He said quickly and hung up the phone. 

The room was very quiet and Richard was practically shouting, and judging by Sophia's smile, she'd heard the conversation. “The bottom line, Mr. Schneider… is that he's insanely in love with you. Not entirely because of your parental role, but because you're you to him. You're the one who saved him from working in that bar which he absolutely dreaded. You're the one who took him to Wittenberge to see his friends and visit his mother's grave, you're the one who literally fought off his father when he wanted to hurt him again. No one ever was there to fight off his father. He watched it happen with you. Even if Richard doesn't consciously understand it, but this is very important to his mind and psyche. The monster CAN and WILL be defeated, and you did that. You are basically his Knight. He loves you regardless of the sex, the kink, or the parental figure.” She said. 

Chris sipped on his wine. He had never thought about it that way, but it made so much sense. “He's too young to be this brave. I just hope I deserve him. It might not look like it, but… he's my rock. He's my peace.” It was probably the wine, but pouring his heart out like that in front of a stranger, didn't feel as dreadful as he thought it would. 

The rest of the lunch went with random conversations and when they were done, Chris gave Sophia an envelope containing a generous amount of money for her services. After he went home that night, Richard showed him the new “Prince baby's rules”. It was an artwork! Around it was filled with tiny little drawings and lots and lots of rainbows and the trans flag colors (blue, pink, white, pink, blue), and the rules were written in a pretty cute handwriting. Chris told Richard how much he loved it and how proud he was. The rest of the evening went on quietly with Richard doing his homework assignments and Chris reading some of the recent scientific papers that his teams of researchers had written. It was around eleven when a very enthusiastic Richard quietly crawled in his lap and politely asked for playtime and said something along the lines of “If daddy has time and energy”. Chris smiled at that. Richard was just so polite! Kids his age were usually demanding little punks. Chris took him to bed, and remembered everything Sophia had told him that day. He noticed Richard's reactions very specifically that night, and realized that they were not only physical reactions. It was definitely on a mind related level. Chris pinned Richard's arms above his head while they were having sex, and just softly kissed and praised him. This looked like it was Richard's favorite position and it made Chris smile affectionately. 

“Baby really loves it when I pin his hands above his head, doesn't he?” He asked with a smile after they were cuddling in peace. Richard hummed and nodded. “Baby wuvs whatever dada do wif him.” Then, he looked up with something resembling remorse in his eyes. “And… and I sowy I tried to push that kink fing. I maked it about me, and it wasn't vewy nice.” He mumbled apologetically. 

Chris was so proud of his polite little boy that he felt butterflies in his stomach. “It's ok, baby. I just want you to know that it's definitely something that I wanna do with you as well, ok? But we need more time to talk about it. You said you read some stuff, right? Keep doing that so you can learn more by yourself, then we'll talk about playing together.” Chris told him. 

Richard snuggled closer to him and squeezed Chris's shoulders in his arms as much as his after sex lethargy allowed him. “Yes, daddy. Thank you.” He mumbled sleepily. 

“Let's get some sleep now, little man. Tomorrow is a big day.” He said and kissed Richard's temple.


	17. Chapter 17

“Daddy, the fridge is empty! What do you usually eat?” Richard asked as he was standing in front of the basically empty fridge. “It's just cheese and cold cuts.” He added. 

It was Saturday early in the morning. They were going to get breakfast and then go shopping. “I get breakfast and lunch at the office, and I usually pick up dinner after work or after gym.” Chris replied. “I don't really have time for grocery shopping!” He added. 

Richard rolled his pretty eyes at him. “Daddy Chris, that's an excuse. You can have groceries delivered. I love cooking and baking! I can't live off take outs.” He said stubbornly. “And daddy can't too. You should eat healthier…. You're old!” He said devilishly and squeaked loudly and ran away when Chris ran to get him. Chris got him from behind and began tickling him. Richard was all screams and giggles. “I'm old, huh? Say that again, little punk.” Chris shouted while laughing and tickling the boy. 

Richard squirmed like crazy. “Ok ok you're not old, I'm sowy sowy.” Chris finally let go of him and they agreed to order the groceries online. They did and the website said everything would be shipped to their apartment that afternoon. Richard insisted on paying for it, and even though, Chris wasn't happy about it, he let the boy pay. He could understand how important it was to Richard to feel financially included in the household. 

Chris had already spoken to the shop he was taking Richard to, and had told them to choose their perfect collection of suites that would match Richard's size and age. This could make the process easier. When they entered the shop, Chris saw Richard looking around shocked and nervous. “This looks like a castle, daddy.” Richard whispered to him. Chris smiled. He saw the shop owner walking towards them. Chris and Till both were well-known costumers at that shop. 

“Ahhh, Herr Schneider, and this young man must be Herr Kruspe. Guten Morgen. I am Herr Weller, at your service.” He shook hands first with Richard and then, Chris. 

“Guten Morgen, sir.” Richard said quietly to the middle aged man in a perfectly tailored suit. 

_______________

Richard was astonished by that shop. He was mesmerized and super uncomfortable at the same time. This definitely was not his scene! Herr Weller guided them towards the lounge area where there was a set of couches and a coffee table with a wide selection of traditional German breakfast choices on it. An extremely beautiful lady walked to them. She was wearing a navy blue dress down to her knees and a pair of painful looking high heels. Richard didn't really have a thing for women, but she was extremely hot that Richard had a difficult time with stopping himself from staring, unlike daddy who was looking directly at Richard with an amused glance. “Can I get you gentlemen any drinks?” 

“Coffee, black. Danke sehr.” Chris said.   
“And for you, Herr?” Richard's eyes grew round for a moment. He'd never been called sir before! 

“Um… eemm… J-juice. From an orange.” Was the best he could manage, and he literally felt blood rushing to his face. 

“Orange juice with no pulp for him, please. Thank you.” Richard heard daddy. 

“Coming right up.” She said with a smile and left. 

Then Mr. Weller started speaking again. “As requested, we have prepared a collection of eight perfect suits for you, Mr. Kruspe and now seeing you, I'm sure they would all look amazing. You are indeed a very dashing young man.” 

“Can I please talk to you for a minute?” Richard pleaded to Chris. Chris's smile fell. “Yes, sweetheart. Of course. Could you give us some privacy, please?” He told Mr. Weller. 

“Definitely. Let me know when you're ready. I'll be in the probieren lounge.” He said with a smile and left. 

“Baby boy, what is it?” Daddy asked him worriedly. 

“I can't let you buy me a suit from this place. It's gonna cost more than my entire life! Literally! I'll probably only wear it this one time. I'm not really a suit person, daddy. Please. I can't let you spend that much money on two pieces of clothing for me!” He blurted out all of that. 

“Richard, we've talked about me buying you things before. You promised me you wouldn't argue. It's an important event for you, isn't it, baby? You need to dress for the occasion.” Chris said softly but seriously. 

“We talked about you buying me stuffies and toys and occasionally casual clothes. I never agreed to let you pay a million euros for a suit!” Richard whispered frantically. 

Suddenly, daddy chuckled. “You think these suits are one million euros each? Baby, they're not made of diamonds. It's, like, 3 or 4 grand tops.” 

“To me, 3 grand equals one million! I'm a small town boy. I haven't done anything to earn this type of thing. I practically grew up in that orphanage with those kids. I can't wear a 3 grand worth suit while I'm trying to raise money for them. I'm a part of them. Nothing about me has changed. I wasn't an expensive-suit-wearing boy then, and I'm not gonna become one now, unless I earn it all by myself. Please understand. You've earned your perfect life. Let me earn mine.” He whispered all that with watery eyes. 

Daddy stared at him with an strange look in his eyes for a long minute. “Is it possible to be proud of you anymore than I already am?” He asked, before adding. “I'll go tell him something came up and we're leaving. Then we'll go shopping somewhere else.” He kissed Richard's forehead and walked away to find Mr. Weller. 

They managed to find Richard a suit, a shirt and a bow tie at a very affordable price and Richard paid for it himself and didn't let Chris see it on him because he wanted it to be a surprise for that night. After that, daddy took him to a beauty salon and they both got grooming services and Richard also got the root of his hair bleached and cut it a little bit. Then they got some lunch and went back home. 

_____________

The groceries arrived at around 6 o'clock and Richard helped Chris arrange everything in the cabinet or the fridge. After they took a quick shower together, because that day Richard was a bit too clingy to take one by himself, Chris told him to get dressed because he insisted on surprising Chris with his suit. Richard stumbled happily towards the closet while Chris was in the bathroom handling his own hair. He was still thinking about the things Richard had told him that morning about why he didn't want Chris to buy him the handmade suit. This kid was extraordinary! Chris thought he's been living his own life as half a human being and not very decent at that half! Of course, he'd never crossed any lines or let his business hurt others with less power and money, but this boy was something else and if-

Suddenly he heard a sound of clearing throat and turned around only to lay eyes on his little boy. Richard was wearing a perfectly slim fitting grey suit with a bluish shade and a white shirt along with a navy blue bow tie which was tied in a very sloppy manner. “Tadaaa” Richard said and grinned at Chris's astonished eyes. It was difficult not to fuss over his boy. “Oh my God… look at you!” Chris said and approached him. “Oh my sweet little gentleman…. God, you're so beautiful.” He said amazed and circled around Richard. 

“Really? You really think so, daddy?” Richard asked happily. 

“You should wear suits all the time! But you should let daddy help you with your bow tie, baby.” Chris stood in front of him with a grin.

“The guy at the store taught me, but I forgot. It's so complicated!” He complained and pouted. 

Chris began fixing it for him, and didn't miss Richard staring at him doing so. After he was done, he kissed his boy’s forehead where he whispered. “You're perfect, my love.” 

Richard squealed happily and raised on his tiptoes and kissed Chris on the cheek. After that, Chris got dressed in one of his tuxedos which caused Richard to say in a theatrical way: “You should introduce yourself as James Bond… daddy James Bond.” And Chris burst out laughing. 

When they were in the car, Richard seemed a bit nervous about being in a room full of grown ups. “Daddy, what if I forget I have to stay big?” He asked nervously. 

“Don't worry, Reeshy. I'll remind you, sweetheart.” He took Richard's hand and lightly kissed it. “And you'll tell me immediately if anything was too much for you, or you needed a short break from the party, ok?” 

Richard nodded. 

“How comfortable are you with calling me Chris?” He asked. 

“Zero comfortable, how about Mr. Schneider?” He mumbled. 

Chris smiled. “My employees call me that, baby. It's not very boyfriendy, and I want to introduce you as my boyfriend, just like I did at the airport.” 

“I guess sir is not very boyfriendy too, right?” Richard asked. 

Chris laughed. “You're more comfortable with calling me sir than my name?” He stopped the car behind a red light. 

Richard blushed and slightly nodded. Chris kissed his hand again. “Baby boy, I'm proud to be your daddy, but this is one part of our lives that is only for us. It's personal, and no one else needs to know it. That's why I'm gonna need you to be very brave for daddy tonight and call him Chris, and then… when we get home, I'm gonna treat you and reward you just the way you like.” Chris told him, hoping this could help his little. 

“What's my reward?” He asked and pouted. 

Chris grabbed Richard's jaw and looked him in the eye. “I'll tie you down to the bed so you can't move, then I'll eat you and suck your hard little-parts and slap your sweet ass and make you beg for each orgasm and then fuck you so hard you pass out…” He said in his most dirty tone, then smiled sweetly. “Do we have a deal now, baby boy?” Richard's face at that moment was the most amusing sight in the world. The poor boy looked like he was having an internal stroke. He was crimson and his huge eyes had turned a dark shade and his breath slightly hitched out of his open mouth. Chris could say that this was exactly what Richard wanted, and then… “Yes, sir… I-I mean, yes, Chris.” He said with a weak voice. Chris gave him another smile and started driving at the green light. “Good boy.” 

Richard made a tiny noise and stared out the window. Chris was so smitten with Richard's cute reaction to his dirty talk that he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Now he was so curious to see his reaction when it was actually happening. He smirked and kept driving. 

After a few minutes they arrived, and they got out of the car. Chris gave his car keys to the valley and walked to Richard and sorted the boy's jacket and bow tie. “So pretty. Maybe I keep the bow tie on you tonight. All you gotta do is behave. Can you be a good boy for daddy in there?” He asked and motioned towards the hotel with his head. Richard stared up at him with his huge innocent eyes. Then slightly nodded. “Was that a ‘yes sir’? I didn't hear you.” He asked with more command in his voice. 

“Yessir.” Richard mumbled. 

“And if anything of any sort bothered you, you tell me immediately, do you understand?” 

“Yes, daddy… sir,,, Chris.” He corrected himself until he got it right. Chris smiled and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. “Good boy. I love you. Now, let's go.” 

And they walked in. It was a gigantic room with tables and chairs and paintings on the walls and golden chandeliers. Waiters with trays of food and drinks every where. Chris at Richard. The boy looked like a nervous wreck. Before he could try to soothe him, they saw Sophia approaching. “The hosts are late!” She said with a smile and then Richard went to her and they hugged tightly. “Awww, Richard, you look so handsome, honey. I've never seen you in a suit before.” When they parted, Richard looked calmer. “Thanks. Sophia, it's so good to see you. I'm happy you could make it.” 

“Oh, honey, I would never miss it. I'm so proud of you.” She said. Chris shook his head to her. Richard had no idea about the surprise, but he was probably so nervous, he didn't notice it. 

“God, you're finally here.” Chris recognized Till’s voice. They hugged. 

“Hello, Richard. It's nice to see you again.” Till smiled at Richard. 

“You, too, sir. Thank you.” Richard said politely and they shook hands. 

“Till, this is Sophia Wagner, an old friend of Richard. Sophia, this is my best friend and working partner, Till Lindemann.” Chris introduced them. 

Till and Sophia shook hands and Till slightly bent and kissed her hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Wagner.” 

Sophia slightly blushed. “Pleasure is mine, Mr. Lindemann.” 

“Please, call me Till. Fancy a drink? There's an open bar.” Till said. 

“I'd love to.” She said.

Till smiled and offered his arm which Sophia wrapped hers around and they left together. Chris and Richard gave each other a look of “what the hell just happened?” and then Richard giggled. 

“Fancy a drink? There's an open bar.” Chris asked Richard while imitating Till, and the boy giggled again. Maybe some alcohol could help the kid. 

“Is there anything alcoholic that doesn't taste yucky?” He asked. 

“We can try margaritas, or gin and tonic. Let's go.” He smiled and took Richard's arm wrapping it around his own elbow. They were in the middle of their second drink when they were already approached by tons of people including Mrs. Haugk from the orphanage. Richard seemed a lot more at ease and comfortable. Then, Chris saw one of their partner companies representative approaching them. This compony was from the UK, so Chris had to switch to English. 

“Mr. Schneider, I'm glad our company could participate in this positive event. Mr. Alan sands his best regards and is sorry he wasn't able to attend.” The British man said very politely. 

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Anderson. It's always nice to have you have you in Berlin. Let me introduce you to my boyfriend.” Then he started translating the conversation to German for Richard and told him about the guy. Richard had a tiny smile on his face the whole time. He looked a tad tipsy! He looked at Mr. Anderson and offered his hand. “It's nice to meet you, Mr. Anderson. I'm Richard. Thank you for coming.” He said in flawless English! Chris tried his best to stop his eyes from growing round. After some more pleasantries were exchanged, the man left them. Chris looked at Richard, amused. “Can you learn a new language so flawlessly when you're drunk?” 

Richard stuck his tongue out with a grin. Then he shrugged and replied in english. “Y’know?”

“I'm so gonna eat you up tonight.” Chris whispered. He could feel a hot flash running through him. 

“And I'll speak English all… night… long.” Richard whispered back in the most seductive way. 

They spend another hour speaking to individuals about the orphanage and Chris told them about the things he had planned. Julia and her colleagues were doing the same thing and after about one hour, there were lots of donations and big checks, an architecture company that had designed Chris's company, offered to renovate the orphanage for only 10 percent of the price. Richard seemed so happy with everything and since he was a bit drunk, he was uncharacteristically social and friendly. The boy was so charming in his suit and his blond hair and well-taught manners, that lots of people were donating a lot of money just because of the charming handsome eighteen year old boy. 

It was time for speeches. Julia gave a short and warming speech and thanked Chris and then said that “Mr. Schneider has an announcement to make.” That was Chris's cue. Everyone began clapping for him and he got up after gently kissing Richard, and then went up there. 

“Two months ago, I met a young man and my life changed forever. He's from a small town, but he… was the one who showed me how big the world can be. He has the biggest and purest heart I've ever seen. He told me about this orphanage that he practically grew up in. He was there since he was thirteen, everyday. Teaching children everything he knew, music, drawing, painting, making beautiful arts, telling them stories and occasionally, buying them things with his lunch money… he was the one who one day told me about this orphanage and I decided to do everything within my power to protect it from falling apart, because these children are our brighter tomorrow. Because children who come from broken homes… deserve a lot more than the world is giving them, and tonight with your help, we will turn that orphanage into a home.” He stopped speaking when everyone began clapping again, and Richard was in tears. “As for my announcement… Ms. Julia Haugk asked me to announce this, and I could not agree more… Richard, my love, all this would not be possible if it wasn't for you and your pure heart, and because everything you've been through as a result of who you are, the orphanage has decided to name their new home after you and add another group to it… Richard Kruspe’s home for children and LGBT+ youth. To the day that no child suffers because of who they are or because of their parents.” He raised his glass to the crowd and looked Richard in the eye. He was crying a river now while covering his face. Chris stretched an arm towards him so everyone could see him. The boy walked a bit unsteadily and walked up to the scene. Chris hugged him with one arm and whispered to him. “I'm proud of you, sweetheart.” 

Richard sobbed and laughed at the same time and the crowd was still clapping. Chris took out his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and gave it to Richard. “C-can I speak, please, Chris?” Richard asked. 

Chris's eyes grew round. “Of course you can.” Chris walked down the scene to give Richard all the space. Richard stood behind the mic facing the now quiet crowd. He adjusted the mic to his height. “I'm not that tall.” He said in english and sniffled with a smile. The crowd laughed. Richard was definitely drunk. 

“I'm just gonna speak English because there are non-germans here.” He said. “I… I'm probably doing this because I'm too drunk right now. On a regular basis, I can't really even hold a five minute conversation with a grown up…. I mean other people… I'm eighteen, totally legal, don't worry.” He said and winked at Chris. Chris couldn't hide his chuckle, the crowd laughed as well. 

“As you all may have noticed my relationship status, I'm the G part in the LGBT+ abbreviation. But the thing that only three people in this room know is that…” Richard stopped and swallowed. “I'm also the T part. I was assigned female at birth and I suffered my whole life because of it. When I came out as a transgender man, aside from my late mother, the only other people who accepted me completely, were Julia and her orphans and her colleagues. They were my family… that place turned into the most important part of my life after I lost my mother. It saved my life and I'm forever thankful. And now them naming themselves after me and adding the rest of my LGBT community… I don't know how else to be grateful…. I… I don't know you people, but if one day… you saw a queer kid in need of protection, please help them. They are prone to dangers and domestic assaults more than other children, just like I was, and I'd be God knows where if it wasn't for… for my partner. Christoph, I love you and I owe you every breath I take. Words are meaningless to how much you mean to me and how much I'm grateful to you. Thank you.” Richard finished speaking and gave Chris a whole-hearted smile. Chris's heart was knocked out! Richard jumped off the scene while everyone stood up clapping, then he hugged Chris. “I love you, Mr. King daddy sir Chris.” He said in Chris's ear. Chris squeezed him and laughed between tears. 

The party was slowly coming to an end when Till approached him while Richard went to pee. “So… he can't top you even if you'd allow it.” He said comically. 

Chris punched his shoulder. “Fuck off.” And said jokingly. “And there are always strap-ones. It's not just dicks and vaginas, Tilly.” He said as a matter of factly. 

Till smirked. “Are you really that happy with… Richard?” He asked seriously. 

Chris nodded. “I've never been happier.” 

“Bitch, we went to Vegas together.” Till yelled jokingly. 

Chris laughed. “Nothing rivals this… he… makes me want to be a better person. I like myself around him.” He replied with honesty. 

Till smiled. “I'm happy for you, brother.” He tapped Chris on both arms. 

“Don't distract me, Lindemann. What's with you and Sophia? You've been mooing around her all night.” Chris smirked. 

Till shrugged. “She's interesting. I asked her to lunch tomorrow.” 

“Ahhh, I see. An older woman.” Chris teased. 

“It's, like, four years older, it's not like I was born when she was already in her jacking off age.” Till teased back and earned himself another punch to the shoulder. He looked around and there was still no sign of Richard so he excused himself and went to the bathroom to look for him. No one was in there but Chris heard a tiny cheering noise from one of the stalls. “Richard, is that you?” He knocked on it softly. 

He heard the door being unlocked and opened it. Richard was sitting on the floor covered in toilet paper and both stashes of toilet paper rolls were finished. “Wook, dada, I'm the toilet pacer pee-pee… what? No… toilet paper prince.” He slurred and giggled. 

Chris crouched down next to him, stifling his laughter. “Baby, I think you're drunk. Let's take you home.” 

“B-but this is my castle and I need to sit on my throne and rule the world.” He pouted. 

“Baby, this is a toilet. Let's get you home and comfy. Hm? Do you still wanna play?” He asked with a cocked eyebrow. 

Richard looked up at him with doe eyes. Then nodded. Of course, Chris wasn't going to play with him when the kid was this drunk, but he was sure Richard would be sound asleep by the time they'd gotten home. “OK then, let's get you cleaned up and then leave. Have you already peed, baby?” Richard nodded again. 

Chris took all the toilet paper off him and discovered that his suit pants were still open. He helped him up and closed his pants, then untied his bow tie and the two buttons of his shirt so the boy could breathe, then took him to the sink and helped him wash his face. His eyes were hazy and blood-shot. Chris took him out and managed to sneak out without being seen by many people. When the valley brought him his car back, he put his boy in the passenger seat and buckled him in, tipped the valley generously, and drove home. Richard fell asleep in the car and Chris had to carry him up to the apartment. He lay Richard down on the bed and went to get a glass of water while shedding his own clothes. 

The boy was snoring softly and adorably when Chris was back. “Baby? Get up and drink this for daddy. Then I'll help you with your clothes and them you can go back to sleep.” He said softly and gently shook the boy until he woke up with groans and protests and drank the water. Then, Chris got him completely out of his clothes and his binder as well and heard him actually breathe easier. Then Richard clutched to his abdomen and moaned in pain. He got up and staggered hurriedly towards the bathroom and heaved into the toilet. Chris followed him fast and sat behind him holding his head and gently massaging him. “It's ok, baby. Let it out. The poison is coming out, it's good.” He said and Richard threw up again. He whimpered and let out a soft cry. Chris flushed the toilet and helped his boy sit on it. “Do you need to pee-” Before Chris could finish his sentence, Richard was already going. Chris smiled and waited for him to finish peeing. Then, took him to the shower and ran some cool water on the kid's extremely heated skin and washed his face too. But not his hair. Then, Chris dried him gently and helped him brush his teeth and drink some more water. Richard was hazy and clingy the whole time. Chris took Richard back to bed. “Dada, wuvoo. I sowy.” He mumbled. Chris pulled the blanket over him and kissed his temple. “I love you too, my handsome little man. You were perfect tonight. Go to sleep.” And Richard obeyed within seconds! He was out cold. Chris slowly got up when he was sure Richard was deep asleep, then gathered their clothes from around the apartment and tidied up a little bit, then went to the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth and was back to bed and spooned his perfect little boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be super smutty.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Super duper uber smutty***** I warned you.

His head was pounding when he finally forced himself to open his eyes. He rolled over and bumped into Mr. Bear and happily snuggled him, but discovered that going back to sleep wasn't that easy. Especially since daddy wasn't in bed. He made a tiny pouty noise and looked around the room. No signs of daddy. He groaned and rolled out of bed naked. He clutched to Mr. Bear and looked for his binky. It was usually around his neck when they were home. He found it in the nightstand drawer, put it on and into his mouth and walked out. He really didn't want to walk but he had to look for daddy. He heard noises from the kitchen and could smell coffee and food. His stomach growled and he sucked his binky harder. Daddy was in the kitchen barefoot and shirtless and was cooking. He saw Richard and gave him a head-to-toe look and smiled and walked to Richard. “My little sunshine.” He said and hoisted Richard up in his arms when Richard clung to him. He wrapped his arms and legs around daddy and laid his head on his shoulder and hummed around his binky. Daddy sat him down on the cabinet table and stood between his legs. Richard was still clinging to him like a spider to a wall! 

“Baby, I was making you breakfast in bed.” Richard hummed again. He was way too deep in little space and too hungover and having that warm skin to skin contact was simply too good for him to actually want to let go of his binky and talk. 

Daddy gently kissed his shoulder before telling him. “Let's get you back to bed and then I'll bring you breakfast, baby boy.” Richard clung to him again as daddy picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. “You wanna tinkle first, puppy?” Richard nodded, and daddy took him to the bathroom and took care of him, then put him to bed and told him he'll be back soon. 

Daddy was back with a big tray and put it on the nightstand and sat next to Richard. Richard immediately moved and rubbed his face to daddy's chest and hummed. “Baby, I got your orange juice. Here. You need to drink lots of fluid today.” Daddy said while ruffling Richard's hair, then handed him his sippy cup. Richard began drinking his juice and looked into the tray. Cereal oats and chocolate yogurt. 

“How are you feeling, boo-boo?” Daddy asked while fondling Richard's hair. 

“Tiny headache, daddy.” He said between two sips of juice. Daddy began feeding him the cereal. 

“It'll go away, baby. Do you remember last night?” He asked with an amused smile. 

Richard nodded. He wasn't really blacked out drunk. “I weally talk im fromt of people?” He asked, embarrassed. 

“You made the most beautiful speech in flawless English. Everyone was so impressed. Julia texted me this morning. We raised seven hundred thousand euros and an architecture company offered to renovate the place for only ten percent of the price, and Till and I each are going to donate 5 percent of our personal monthly income to them for the rest of our lives. It'll cover them hopefully forever.” Daddy said. 

Richard's smile was so big it hurt his jaw. He felt tears in his eyes again and just snuggled to Chris and squeezed him hard. “Awww… baby.” Daddy laughed softly and kissed Richard's hair. Richard suddenly looked up at daddy's lips. Daddy gave him his priceless crooked smile and softly kissed his lips. 

“Dada, did… did we play last night?” He asked. 

“Baby, if you have to ask, the answer is no.” Daddy said with a smug smile. 

“But you promised!” He pouted. 

“Dude, you were practically unconscious!” Daddy protested in a comical tone. 

Richard giggled loudly and repeated. “Dude!” It was funny when daddy called him that. 

“Yeah, my little dude. So what do you wanna do today?” 

“Be dada’s wittle puppy.” He said and kissed Chris's chest with his chocolatey lips. 

Daddy smiled and kissed Richard's temple and fed him the rest of the cereal. “Interesting piece of news, Till asked Sophia to lunch today.” Daddy told him when he was wiping Richard's mouth. 

Richard's eyes grew round. “Are they gonna be… l-like us?” He asked. 

“You mean if one of them is gonna be the other's little?” Daddy smirked.

Richard pouted and blushed. “I mean like relationship fings.” 

“I know what you mean, baby boy. I was kidding. I don't know. Till hasn't had a girlfriend since the love of his life dumped him. He's been all about one night stands.” Daddy said. 

“Why she bump him, dada?” Richard blinked up with a curled down bottom lip. He suddenly felt so sad for Mr. Lindemann. 

Daddy held him tighter. “Because she was an undeserving bitch! When Till asked her to marry him, she laughed in his face. They were together for two years and she pretended to be in love with him, she stole so much from him, and then left.” 

This was so sad! “Is this why Mr. Lindemann not wike me, daddy? He finks I pitend to wuv you?” It all made sense now! 

Daddy looked down at him and frowned. “Who says Till doesn't like you?” 

Richard shrugged. “I heard he call me boy toy wem I was in your office. I… I sowy I heard that. I was in the bafroom.” 

Daddy pulled him up and into his lap where he kissed him. “He shouldn't have said that, but he didn't know you back then. I told him last night that you're making me the happiest I've ever been. He does like you, baby boy. You're so sweet everyone likes you. Sweet and tiny and mini.” He added affectionately and booped Richard's nose which made Richard shut and squeeze his eyes and re-open them. Daddy laughed and booped his nose again, and Richard shut his eyes and squeaked. Daddy repeated the nose booping until Richard squeaked louder. “Your nose is your face-button. Oh my God, I can turn you on and off.” Daddy laughed and did it again. Richard pouted aggressively and crawled away. 

“I not robot toy.” He mumbled into the pillow where his face was hidden and the rest of him was laid on the bed. 

He yelped when daddy spanked his bum and draped over him. “You're daddy's little boy toy.” He whispered into Richard's ear and it sent a shiver down his spine. 

Richard was still a little hangover and achy, so he wasn't really tingly, but he had more questions for daddy. “How did you come out to Mr. Lindemann?” He asked. 

Daddy got off him and lay on his side. “I didn't… it kinda… happened, I guess.” 

Richard gave him a questioning look. 

“He saw me with Enzo on the beach, and didn't really mention it. After that, I invited him to a gay club with me, and he said he'd be my wingman. But you really don't need a wingman in a gay club.” He laughed. 

Trying his best not to let ‘Enzo the first ever French lover’ bother him, he asked another question. “Whatbout your mama and papa?” 

“Hm… good question. They don't know. It was kinda irrelevant and I never had a serious enough boyfriend to introduce to them, so it just never came up.” He replied. 

“I told my mama when I… I did fings wif Maddie!” Richard pouted. He used to tell mama everything. One of his biggest griefs when he lost her was that he also lost his best friend. 

“Maddie the lesbian?” Daddy grinned. Richard pouted, but then giggled and nodded. 

“I love my parents, but we weren't really that close, besides I was too old to tell them about my sex life. I wasn't even living with them anymore.” Daddy said. 

“D-do you still see them?” He asked. 

“On special occasions. Birthdays, holidays,,, last time was my niece’s fifth birthday in September.” 

“You have a niece?” Richard's eyes grew round. “Uncle daddy?” Richard giggled loud at his own dumb joke. Daddy laughed too. 

“Her name is Amy. She's my sister's daughter. She's the most fussy and obnoxious and annoying kid ever! Speaking of my family… “ Daddy trailed off, and Richard looked up with a questioning look. 

“We have a family dinner every year at Christmas eve. My parents, my sister, her husband and my niece, my brother and his new fiance and… me. I've never brought anyone home to meet my parents. I would love for them to meet you if… and only if you are one hundred percent comfortable with that. I also want to spend Christmas eve with you, so if you say no, we'll have our own dinner together. That is if… you don't have other plans for that night.” 

Richard blinked. Shocked. Not really sure how to respond. He had only seen on TV that meeting a partner’s parents was a super big and serious deal. Meeting Chris's family sounded very scary. What if they didn't like him? What if they would judge their relationship because of the huge age gap? What if they were homophobes and worse than that… transphobes? What if Richard would get a panic attack?

“Hey…. Reeshy… don't overthink it, baby. You don't have to. Just think about it. I'll tell them about you anyway. But if you're not ready to meet them, it's alright.” Daddy brought him back to reality with a gentle nudge. 

“Wh-what will you tell them about me?” 

Daddy looked at him for a few seconds, and then pushed Richard gently and rolled him on his back and towered over him lacing their fingers together. “Once upon a time, I saw this little boy in the hallway when he was going through a complimentary bag. He squeaked when he found the box of cookies and slapped his own mouth afraid that someone might have seen him squeaking. What he didn't know, was that I saw him and I melted at his cuteness. I was speaking at his university and this little boy in the front row was staring at me with his big beautiful innocent eyes and his pretty mouth fell open full of chocolate chip cookies. He made concentrating hard for me.” He said while gently leaving small kisses on Richard's face. “After the ceremony, I knew that I needed to talk to him… so I did, and it scared him and he spilled coffee on his white t-shirt. I helped him clean up in the bathroom… and… and I haven't stopped loving him ever since.” He murmured against Richard's ear and kissed him there. Then he looked into Richard's eyes. “My family will like my sweet little baby boy, and even if they don't, which is impossible since you're the loveliest little baby bird ever, I don't care. I do love you and nothing… absolutely nothing changes that.” He lightly kissed Richard's nose. 

Richard felt a clan of butterflies eating away at his stomach. He was so happy with this man, it was impossible to be this happy. “I have no plans for Christmas.” He said shyly.

Daddy smiled proudly at him. “It means a lot to daddy, thank you, baby.” 

“But if they tell me somefing about you that I don't know? I seen it happened in movies.” Richard asked. 

“Hm… well, there's something my brother likes to tease me about every year which makes him give me a box full of condoms as a Christmas present.” He said. 

Richard's eyes grew big. “What?” 

“I once got a girl pregnant.” Daddy said and twitched his face as he lay down next to Richard again. 

Richard was shocked for some reason. “H-how?” 

“Well… it usually happens when two people with a penis and a vagina have unprotected frontal penetrative sex.” He said as a matter of factly. 

Richard squeaked in protest. “I knowwww… wat happened?” 

Daddy sighed. “It was four years ago. You could say that it was kind of a long term relationship. One night, we were both drunk and very… well, horny. That did it. I freaked out when she told me. She was freaking out too, but she was all like let's get married and it's a good sign blabla. I didn't want to get married or to have a child. I told her that if she wants to keep the baby, I will financially support them but nothing more. She took it pretty hard and told me that I put the baby in there, I'll have to be there until the end. That was bullshit to me. It took two consenting adults to make that baby! I didn't force her into it, besides, I was thinking about breaking up for weeks and then that happened and my life was becoming a real mess. I tried talking to her, get her to be realistic. She was a model, a successful one, so pregnancy would mess with her too. She finally saw that I was right and got an abortion and then we broke up, because we decided we wanted different things.” 

Richard remained quiet. But then thought of something. “You still don't want a baby?” 

Daddy smiled. “I do. That's why you're my baby.” Then he saw Richard's face and sighed again. “Do you want babies?” 

Richard decided to scare daddy a little bit. “I… I do. That's why I skipped my nini pills while you were gone.” 

He watched as daddy literally went pale. He sat up. “You did what?” and almost yelled. 

Richard shrugged. Daddy got off the bed and stood in front of Richard. “You lied to me every night when I reminded you to take your pill? What were you thinking, Richard?” 

“I… I thought we could have a baby.” Richard mumbled. He was probably taking the joke too far now. Daddy looked so angry that telling him the truth seemed scarier. Richard thought he might actually try and get pregnant and avoid telling Chris the truth! 

Daddy sat on the bed again. “Baby, I love you, and we're gonna have a long life together, but you're only eighteen! And we've never discussed this and you never told me that you even wanted to carry a child.” 

“I don't!” Richard said and stifled his evil grin. 

“What?” 

“Reeshy will never want to carry other babies. Reeshy is baby! Babies can't carry each other, daddy. It's irresponsible!” He said and finally flashed an evil grin. 

“Then why did you skip your pills?” He asked, confused. 

Richard got up and while jumping on the bed shouted happily. “I messed wif you, silly daddy.”

Before he knew it, daddy hooked both arms around his waist and pulled him down and threw him on his stomach pinning his arms above his head. “You messed with daddy?” 

He said with a playful growl and kept Richard's hands pinned down with one hand and draped over him. Richard giggled out of breath. He had no leverage in that position. “You wanna know what happens when you mess with daddy?” 

“Wat Wat?” Richard giggled and shouted playfully. 

“Daddy will mess you up.” Daddy said and began smacking his bum. Richard's giggles turned into quiet hums, and suddenly daddy stopped. Richard made a pouty noise and wiggled his bum for daddy. 

“Are you ready for your reward my cute kinky little puppy?” Daddy asked against his ear. Richard nodded eagerly. “Stay. I'll be back.” Daddy ordered with a strange dominant tone and left for the closet. Richard shivered in anticipation. He thought about all the things that daddy would do to him. 

He heard the man walking back to the room after a few minutes and turned his head to look at him but daddy only had a bag in his hands. He draped over Richard again and flipped him on his back. “We're going to play now, baby. Just like you wanted. I promise that I'll stop at any moment you use your safe word. I'll constantly check with you, and at any point if for any reason you couldn't speak, you make a fist with one or both your hands and I'll stop. Show daddy your fist now.” He said all that in a soft voice. Richard obeyed and blinked up at daddy. Daddy smiled and kissed his fist. “What's your safe word?” 

“Pikachu, daddy.” Richard replied. 

“You will not hesitate to use it, ok? If anything becomes too much, you are ordered to let me know. Are we clear on that, baby?” 

“Yes, sir daddy sir.” Richard grinned. 

Daddy smiled shortly. 

“I… have a question.” He said shyly. 

Daddy looked down questioningly. 

“Are… are you just doing it because of me, or do you want to?” He asked, feeling insecure. 

Daddy smiled for a few seconds. “I want to, baby. With all my heart.” 

Richard nodded happily. 

“Oh, one more thing.” Daddy said. Richard looked up. “You will let me know every time you were about to come. Clear?” Daddy ordered. Richard felt his face heat up, and he knew he was blushed. He stared at a point on daddy's shoulder and slightly nodded. 

“Say it.” Daddy said with a devilish grin.   
Richard blinked up at him, super embarrassed. “I… I tell dada wem I… I was gonna… cummie.” He mumbled very shyly and knew he was red! Daddy smiled and kissed Richard's crimson cheek. 

“Now… I'm gonna need you on your tummy. I'll put a pillow under you.” Daddy said and helped him sit up, then put a pillow in the middle of the bed so it would be under Richard's midsection. Richard lay down and the pillow made his bum raised up. Then he heard daddy going through his bag and sitting next to Richard's head on his right with four big roles of red rope. Richard stared at them and then glanced up at daddy with round eyes and his bottom lip stuck out. Daddy smiled at him and fondled his hair. 

“I'm going to tie you to the bed. Just as promised. But before I do it, is there anything that's absolutely off the table or is triggering to you?” He asked. 

“I… I heard some people like humiliation, b-but I don't.” He said shyly with half his face into the pillow. 

Daddy gently kissed his temple. “This was off the table anyway. What else, sweetheart?” 

“Please don't beat me too hard, and don't… don't hit me on my sides or my tummy or my…. my chest.” Getting beaten on his sides and tummy was too triggering because it would remind him of the monster. 

“I put you on your tummy for the same reason, baby boy. And I don't want you to even think about your chest. This is gonna be all about pleasure and us bonding together more. I'm not going to beat you in the sense of actually beating you. Anything else, my sweet prince?” 

Richard felt a knot in his throat. Daddy knew him so well. “Wuv me.” He mumbled. 

Daddy kissed the side of his mouth and his cheek and temple. “I love you more than anything and anyone.” 

Richard hummed and smiled and watched as daddy opened the role of rope and wrapped the bite around Richard's wrist and twisting and doing some other things until it was a beautiful knot on Richard's wrist, then he put two fingers under it probably too check the tightness, then stretched Richard's arm to the side of the bed with still enough room for Richard to slightly bend his arm, and wrapped the other end of the loop to a hoop by the bed that Richard had never noticed before. “How does it feel?” He asked softly. 

“It's a pretty knot, dada.” Richard said. 

Daddy smiled and circled around the bed. “You're not the only artist around here.” 

He did the same thing with Richard's other arm. Then he went on the foot of the bed. “Spread your pretty legs for daddy.” 

Richard was all jittery and tingly. He spread his legs and felt like it would take him one tiny touch from daddy to come! He suddenly felt daddy's fingers gently flicking his pee-pee, he hissed and slightly jumped, not really expecting it. But it felt so good. 

“I can touch your pretty penis from here. Perfect.” Daddy said with a pleased tone. 

After Richard's legs were restrained, he imagined his body probably looked like an X from above. He felt so vulnerable in that position. He, then, felt daddy straddling his back and draping over him and he began gently kissing Richard's visible half of the face while running a gentle hand on Richard's arms and back. “We're just gonna have fun, baby. Relax… yes, just like that. Look at all your beautiful muscles relaxing to my voice. I love your body, baby. You're such a beautiful muscular little man.” It was like daddy knew all the right things to say, he knew exactly how to make Richard feel good. The way he was murmuring and saying all those words and calling Richard a beautiful little man… they were all the right buttons to push. Richard relaxed entirely to the lovely voice and the kissing. Daddy was kissing every inch of Richard's back. 

“I'm gonna have so much fun playing with you… my sweet sweet boy.” He kissed the small of Richard's back and then kissed his bum! Richard slightly jerked in pleasure and squeezed his insides. Daddy held his hips and pulled him up a little bit. “Are you comfortable like this, little prince?” 

“Hmm… yes, daddy.” 

He felt daddy's tongue on his front hole gently kissing him there and going back and forth between his bum, legs and front hole. Richard was just humming and moaning so quietly in pleasure. He heard the sound of a bottle being uncapped and felt daddy's lubed up fingers playing with his pee-pee. “Ah… just as hard as I want it to be.” Daddy whispered and kept playing with Richard's penis until Richard was a moaning mess, but the intensity of the touch wasn't enough to make him come. He felt daddy moving and then he was lined with Richard's body where he whispered in his ear. “I'm gonna open you up real good and make you count your cummies for me, and if I hear a number I like, then I'm gonna fuck you, my little boy, and when you take daddy's cummies inside your pretty little boy parts, I'll suck it out of you and kiss you.” He murmured all that while rubbing his fingers against Richard's front hole. Richard felt hot flashes all over his body. He was on fire, literally. 

“Would my kinky little prince like that?” Daddy asked, and Richard could just moan in response. He heard daddy's chuckle and then sensed him going back down between Richard's legs. Richard felt one slick finger going inside him and just gently massaging. It was an amazing sensation and when it was mixed with daddy's other hand rubbing and groping his bum, it was a whole other thing. Daddy added his second digit and the slick lube was making his hole so much hotter and wetter, then daddy started playing with his pee-pee again and Richard involuntarily raised his bum a bit more and contracted his hole. “Shhh… relax, baby. Don't move, don't squeeze your little hole. Ok?” 

Richard moaned in response and naturally, forgot his promise five seconds later and squeezed again because it felt too good! Daddy suddenly stopped touching him and withdrew his fingers which made Richard whimper and whine. 

“Do what you're told, little boy. Everytime you squeeze, I'll stop touching you. Just relax and it'll feel even better. Can you be daddy's good boy?” Daddy said in such a dominant way that sent shivers all over Richard. He had never heard this voice before! 

“Words!” Daddy ordered again and slapped his bum pretty hard. Richard whimpered. “Yes, dada.” Richard was in a strange head space. It felt as though it was the deepest level of his little space. His „big boy brain” was completely shut down and he was raw pleasure with an abundant need to be a good boy for daddy. He really needed to be a good boy. He tried to relax his hole again when daddy entered the first and second finger and kept playing with his erect pee-pee. When daddy entered the third finger and slowly pushed all three together to the root, Richard felt so stretched open and it felt so good that he contracted again and… he nearly screamed in frustration when daddy stopped touching him completely. He was about to cry! He whined with his mouth closed and pulled on the ropes around his wrists. He felt daddy above him again and he gently massaged Richard's shoulders. “Are you ok, rainbow?” Daddy whispered and kissed his cheek. 

“Pwease, touch me, dada… pwease.” He begged. 

“With pleasure, my sweet boy. You have to relax though, baby. Ok? Or I'll have to stop again.” He whispered. 

“No no, no stop.” Richard mumbled pleadingly. 

Daddy kissed him again and began the process… again. Richard managed to stay relaxed and keep loose and now daddy had four fingers inside him. He's never been stretched this way. He moaned to the raw pleasure of his penis being subjected to a rougher touch and couldn't squeeze his hole without pain anymore so he remained relaxed and it intensified the pleasure. Daddy kept slowly moving his finger in a very slow thrusting manner. Richard was so close to coming but having to stay relaxed was making him take longer. 

“You're doing great, baby. I'm just gonna pour some more lube on my hand, ok? I'll have to leave your pretty penis for a moment.” After he announced that, he gently let go of Richard's growth and he was back in a few seconds later and he entered his fifth finger inside Richard and it stretched him so open because his hand now felt like it was in a cone shape. Richard whined loudly to the feeling of being so full and he was so ready to come when daddy flicked and rubbed his pee-pee with more intensity. “My good boy, you're doing great. Do you like daddy's hand inside you?” He said and slightly tugged on Richard's penis. Richard just whimpered so loudly in response and tried to say yes. 

“You're taking up to my wrist, baby boy. I'm so proud of you.” Daddy said and the realization hit Richard. He had daddy's whole hand in his hole. He felt so impossibly vulnerable and defenseless and… for some reason protected. He felt so good about belonging to this amazing and kind man who had his fist up Richard's vagina now that he couldn't possibly feel better than that. All those thoughts gave him a sweet fiery feeling in his tummy and it slowly slipped down into his little parts and his moans and whimpers turned louder and louder. 

“Da… -y… ‘m…” He tried to announce that he was coming but words wouldn't come out! 

“Come for me, baby. Let me hear you.” Richard whimpered louder, and since he was too full to contract his insides willingly, the orgasm got more intense and when his body went into contraction, it slightly hurt and added to the pleasure. Daddy kept his cone-shaped hand completely still inside Richard and touched his pee-pee until Richard rode his orgasm. Richard went motionless on the bed and let the pleasure of his hole throbbing around daddy's hand overwhelm him. 

“Baby, I'm going to pull my hand out of you. I need you to be very still and relax, ok? Just remain loose and it won't hurt.” Daddy said. 

Richard just hummed and tried to let more loose. He felt daddy very slowly, agonizingly slowly, pull out his fist. It was a strange sensation. It wasn't just pain, it was a type of pain/pleasure that you wouldn't want it to end. Richard realized how much he didn't want daddy's gentle hand to leave him. The thought formed a lump in his throat and he whined quietly. Suddenly daddy stopped moving his hand. “Does it hurt, baby?” He asked, concerned. 

Richard felt an annoying tear falling from his eye onto the pillow. “Don't weave, dada.” He quietly sobbed. 

“Baby, I'm here, I'm not leaving.” Daddy said soothingly and gently fondled Richard's bum and back. 

“Your hand…” Richard's breath hitched during his quiet sobbing session and he felt so embarrassed about it. He was crying because he wanted to be fisted more! He felt kinda gross but still couldn't help wanting what he wanted. 

“Rainbow, it's not very safe to keep my whole hand inside you for longer than this considering it's your first time. One step at a time, ok? I don't want to hurt my little boy.” Daddy said soothingly. 

Richard sniffled and nodded. “M’kay.” He knew he wasn't very sexy at the moment! But he just couldn't help it. Daddy softly resumed pulling out and when it was done, Richard felt so annoyingly empty and loose. He heard daddy fumbling around and then he moved and faced Richard and kissed him and wiped his tears with an affectionate smile. “Awww… my sweetheart. You must be feeling so loose and empty now, am I right?” 

Richard nodded and cast his eyes down. He was too embarrassed to look into daddy's eyes. “I've got something that could help.” Daddy smiled and kissed his wet face again. Richard peeked up curiously. Daddy showed him a… Richard blushed madly. It was a cream color silicon dildo. It was about the size of daddy himself. 

“I'm gonna put this inside you, is that ok with you, puppy?” He asked softly. Richard bit his bottom lip and nodded. 

“Tell me how many cummies have you had so far?” Daddy asked. 

Richard blinked. “One, dada.” He mumbled shyly. 

“Good boy.” Daddy gave him a smile and went back down. Richard heard him pouring lube, presumably, on the dildo. Then daddy held one of his bum cheeks and Richard felt the dildo slowly entering him. It was so pleasantly soft and it filled him so good that the looseness just went away. 

Richard suddenly gasped and jerked violently when he felt the dildo starting to vibrate inside him. The whole thing was vibrating and Richard could just moan and whimper, it was heavenly. “Surprise!” He heard daddy and his chuckle. 

“So, little boy likes to be spanked, huh?” Daddy said and before Richard could react any further, daddy smacked his bum. It added to the vibration inside him and the tingly feeling made everything ten times better. Richard moaned and struggled in his restraints out of sheer pleasure. Daddy smacked him again and again, intensifying the power with each hit. Richard had a bunch of different feelings at that moment. He cried out in pleasure and pain and felt another knot in his throat… this time he didn't even try to stop. He just started sobbing while rambling on words… he felt so out of himself and out of his life suddenly. “Daddy…. Pwease pwease don't stop…” He had to say that because at the back of his head, he knew if daddy would hear him cry, he'd stop. Richard sobbed louder and the smacks intensified along with the vibration. Richard nearly screamed in pleasure and also pain of it. He was a mess. He felt like he was split in half. One was sobbing to the overwhelming mental feeling, and the other was moaning in pleasure. He had no idea which one was the little Richard, but at this point, he was all little space. 

He felt the second seed of pleasure blooming in his tummy begging to slip out. He begged daddy for something he didn't even know! He tried to let him know that he was close. He could hear daddy praising him from afar. He let go and his climax was shattering… he literally felt like a mirror shattered into pieces and each broken piece was one broken part of Richard. Before he could ride his orgasm, he felt another vibrating device on his penis and the dildo inside him vibrated more violently and daddy was spanking his other cheek even harder. Richard was so confused he felt like he was falling off a cliff! This time he had no time to think… he came again and the vibration made his contractions more intense. At this point he couldn't stop orgasming anymore. He just cried out loud and screamed into the pillow. His entire body was spasming, then…. The spanking stopped and after that the vibration around his penis stopped and the dildo was the last thing. Before he could even try to realize what was happening, the dildo softly left him and he felt daddy on top of him again. Ahhh… this was the best thing. Daddy finally entered him and at this point Richard's hole was extremely sensitive. Daddy began thrusting in and out of him with deep, slow, demanding thrusts. He would pull back slowly and shove back in hard and slamming. Daddy leaned down and kissed Richard's shoulders. “Ah, baby. This is the best place I could possibly be in. You're hot and wet inside. I made a beautiful mess out of you, didn't I?” Richard hummed. His entire body was buzzing and still in pleasure and his skin was numb and his face wet. Daddy sped up his thrust and was full on fucking Richard now. Then, he slipped his hand between Richard's legs and gently tugged and pulled on his pee-pee. 

Richard tried to open his legs further but he was as spread out as possible. He heard daddy's grunts and sexy moans and his hot breath ghosting over Richard's ear and he was ready to come again. He tried to let daddy know that he was coming again. 

“I… know, baby. I can feel you. Hold it until I tell you.” Daddy ordered and fucked him harder. Richard let out small hoarse grunts with each powered up thrust, but couldn't hold it in any longer. He was too little to be able to do that! He tried to let daddy know that he couldn't hold it, but before he could, daddy told him to come and fucked him harder. Richard lost it and let go when he felt daddy's precum and his insides went into another contraction and he felt daddy giving him his cummies and he loved it. Richard was literally worn out. He felt like a car with an empty gas tank! Daddy slowly pulled out and Richard moaned. He didn't even have enough energy to try and squeeze around daddy anymore. He felt daddy's mouth on his hole and he was sucking him there. Richard felt daddy's release trickling out of him and it slightly tickled. He saw daddy's face next to his and turned his face to him as best as he could. Daddy cupped Richard's jaw and made him open his lips, then, opened his own and the sticky white fluid was poured into Richard's mouth and then daddy began kissing him ever so softly. Richard ended up swallowing what daddy gave him. Daddy smiled at that. “Sharing is caring, baby.” 

“Dada mine.” Richard mumbled. Feeling like a feather. 

Daddy laughed softly. “Daddy's yours.” Then, he began untying all the ropes and when he was done, he slowly massaged Richard's arms and legs. Richard just hummed and was out of this world. 

“I'm gonna go draw us a bath, baby boy. Ok? I'll be back.” He whispered. 

“Sleep, Dada.” Richard mumbled. 

“Baby, you're all wet and sticky and sore. We both need some hot water. Don't sleep.” Daddy said softly and left. Richard shivered when the warmth left him. He thought he had fallen asleep for a few minutes when daddy gently moved him and rolled him on his back and picked him up in his arms. They entered the bathroom and the tub was filled with the most beautiful fluffy-looking light blue and pink water. It was Richard's favorite bath bomb. Daddy slowly put him into the tub and joined him and sat behind him and enveloped Richard with his long arms and legs and gently kissed his temple a few times. “Baby boy, you were amazing. I'm so proud of you.” He murmured while softly massaging Richard's arms into the hot water. Richard's head was laid against daddy's shoulder and he could not be in more peace. 

“Baby, why were you crying? I wanted to stop, but you begged me not to.” He asked. 

“Dunno.” Was all he mumbled. But then suddenly remembered how he felt and he acted about the semi-fisting thing. He felt so heated up and embarrassed again and closed in on himself without having any control over it. He stared at daddy's hand resting on his arm and before he could stop himself, he took it in his own hands like an open book and stared at it. Daddy held him closer with his other arm and leaned over Richard's shoulder. “Reeshy?” He called softly. Daddy's hands were so big compared to Richard's! Thank you so much, genetically female small hands and feet and small everything!!! 

Richard felt his insides slightly tingle to the thought of that hand being fully inside him. “I'm bad.” He mumbled and felt tears in his eyes again. 

“What? Baby… oh, baby. Come here.” Daddy pulled him close and cuddled him tightly. “Why would you say that, sweetheart?” 

Richard sniffled. “You… you must fink I'm a bad wittle.” 

“You're a perfect little. Why would I think you're bad?” Daddy asked soothingly. 

“Cuz… c-cuz I… I wike bad fings. You fink I dirty and bad.” He rambled. 

“Baby?” Daddy whispered so lowly. “I don't think you're bad! I do, however, believe you're a sweet little dirty boy. But I love that about you. It's not bad at all.” Daddy said with a smile in his voice. Richard blushed and felt horrible about not being able to communicate correctly. 

“Is this about me fisting you, sweetheart? Do you feel bad and dirty because you cried and asked me not to pull my hand out?” Daddy asked so straightforward that it made Richard want to drown himself right there in that tub. He nodded and stared at the pretty colorful water. 

“Do you think a good boy is a boy who pretends like he has no sexual need and lies to his daddy about what he needs and likes? Do you think it would make that daddy or that little boy feel good?” He asked and it made total sense.

“I… I… “ He didn't know how to say it! 

“I embarrassed.” He finally mumbled. 

“Embarrassed of what, baby? Of liking what you like?” Daddy asked. 

“Needing dada more than dada needs Reeshy.” He mumbled as fast as he could. 

He heard daddy's soft laughter. “Wait a second… you think you need me more than I need you? Oh man.” 

“Don't waugh at me.” Richard protested. 

“I'm laughing because you don't know how wrong you are. Oh, my innocent boy. Do you know how many nights I dreamt about messing you up like this when I was away? I had to jerk off twice a day when we were away! Like a horned out teenager.” Daddy said in a comical tone. 

Richard was confused. “But… but why? I mean… what… what's in it for you?” He managed to ask. 

“What do you mean, baby?” 

“I… all the good feelings were mine! Dada just got cummies once!” He pouted. 

“I got to tie a pretty little boy such as yourself and fist him and spank him and control his orgasms and play with him how I liked and then fuck him to the point of him passing out. You think all the good feelings were yours?” Daddy asked sarcastically and laughed softly. 

“But… but how's that fun for you?” Richard was really confused. 

“Taking control is fun for me… I'm controlling your sexual needs and that's fun for me… actually with you, it's more than fun. It's a need.” He's said and sighed. “Anyway… you have nothing to be embarrassed about, baby boy. In fact… in order to get you more comfy with your own needs, from now on, every Friday, you will tell daddy one sexual activity that you want us to do together. You can write it to me if you're too shy to say it, but after a couple weeks, you'll tell me with words. If the activity was safe for both of us, we'll do it. It can be whatever. From a simple position you think you might wanna try to a certain kink. What ever.” 

“Wike homework?” Richard blinked up. 

Daddy laughed. “Yes, baby. It'd be your homework.” 

Richard stuck out his bottom lip. “M’kay.” 

“Dada, can I play wif my rubber duckies for a while pwease?” He asked politely. 

Daddy smiled and kissed him. “Of course.” 

Richard cheered and slid himself forward to reach for his rubber duckies at the other side of the tub, then he settled back in daddy's embrace and began playing with them and making noises instead of them. Daddy watched him play for another ten minutes while laughing at Richard's scenarios. 

“You're a bundle of energy, aren't you, baby? You need to rest a bit and drink something.” Daddy said. 

“Five more minutes!” Richard pleaded. 

“How about no more minutes? Come on, baby. You look exhausted.” After that, daddy made him get up and cleaned him in the shower after making him pee and then, they brushed their teeth. Richard had stopped pouting after long and passionate kisses that he got from daddy. When the shower was finished and daddy was drying him up, Richard began feeling the soreness in his front hole. He slightly grunted to the feeling. “What is it, rainbow?” Daddy asked. 

“My pee-pee hurts a wittle, dada.” He said. 

Daddy frowned with concern. “Inside or outside?” 

“Inside.” 

“Let's get you to bed and have a look. Come on, I'll carry you.” Daddy carried him back to bed. The pillow that Richard was laid on before was a bit dirty, and daddy threw it on the floor and he went through the nightstand drawer where he brought out a flashlight. “Baby, I'm gonna need you to lay in a way that your bum is on the edge of the bed, so I can kneel down and take a look.” Daddy said and Richard felt slightly anxious. “It's definitely nothing, sweetie. Just normal soreness. We'll look just to be sure, ok?” 

“Mkay.” Richard mumbled and lay as instructed. Daddy knelt on the floor. “Baby, open your legs as wide as you can.” 

Richard obeyed and saw the light of the flashlight on the ceiling and shut his eyes tightly. He felt daddy's fingers very gently at his hole and pulling his labia away. “Yup, no scars or anything. Looks totally normal and I've never seen it in so much light.” Daddy laughed and closed Richard's legs and came onto the bed pulling Richard to himself. “Your boy parts are so pretty, baby.” He kissed Richard's temple. “If your pain increased, we'll go to the doctor but it's probably just normal soreness. I didn't go that deep with my hand.” Daddy told him. 

“Will… will you go deeper next time?” Richard asked, shyly. 

“We'll see. Let's get some rest, Mr. Mini man.” Daddy smiled at him. Richard grabbed his binky from around his neck and put it into his mouth and was happily snuggled up to daddy. He really was so tired! He went to sleep while daddy played with his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, let me know in the comments. I really appreciate your feedback. Positive or negative. And if anyone has any questions regarding Richard's gender identity, I'd be more than happy to answer them.


	19. Chapter 19

Chris couldn't sleep. He watched Richard going out like a light and after about one hour of snuggling him, Richard rolled away from him and snuggled to Mr. Bear instead. Ouch! He looked at Richard's figure so calmly going up and down while breathing. His beautiful body seemed so at peace. Chris remembered his cries and screams. Richard was so purely honest about whatever he wanted. And ironically, he felt bad for wanting them. This was the first time Chris had scened the boy and it was extra extra special. It was more of a sexual scene than something like SM stuff which Chris wasn't really into. The most intense thing he liked, was whipping his partner or maybe deep fisting. He figured he'd probably never whip Richard, or use things like nipple clamps on him because it'd be way too triggering for the boy, and Chris knew that Richard needed pleasure and affection and attention more than receiving pain, and it wasn't like Chris seriously needed to inflict pain. It was just a bedroom spice, and with Richard… well, the boy was spicy enough! What Richard seemed to be needing was being in a constant state of aftercare, and Chris was very happy with that. Handling the kid was a sweet pleasure. Chris suddenly heard his phone vibrating on the nightstand. He hurriedly snatched it and walked out of the room and quietly shut the door behind him. It was Till. 

“Hey, Tilly.” 

“Hey, Chris. Were you asleep? It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, man.” 

“No, I wasn't asleep. Richard was, and I had to get out of the bedroom. What's up?” 

“Yeah, I just dropped Sophia off at her hotel. She's leaving tomorrow morning and said that she'd like to hang out with Richard tonight and I suggested dinner at my place, the four of us. What do you say?” Till said hopefully. Chris figured his friend sounded like he liked Sophia. 

“I take it the lunch date went good?” Chris chuckled. 

“Went great actually. She's so smart and beautiful.” Till said. 

Chris frowned. “Till, you know she lives in another city, right?” 

“She said she's been thinking about moving to Berlin and the reason she hasn't done it years ago, were a couple of her patients who needed serious help.” Till replied with victory in his voice. 

“Just don't „Till” the whole situation, ok? Take it slow.” Chris sighed. 

“I'll be sure not to ask her to move in with me after two months of dating!” Till said sarcastically referring to Richard. 

“Richard is different. I'm different. I'm not a hopeless romantic-”

“Ok, whatever. Are you coming tonight or not?” Till cut into Chris's words. Annoyed. 

Chris sighed. “I'm ok with it, but I have to see if Richard is ok too. He's a bit awkward around you since he thinks you hate his guts.” 

“What? No, I don't!” 

“He heard you calling him my boy toy at my office. Listen, Till. I'll try to get him to agree on going tonight but you have to promise me that you'll make nice with him. It's important to me. I'm pretty serious about him.” 

“I don't hate the kid. He's alright. I'm worried you're moving too fast, but hey, you know better. You're not a hopeless romantic like me. See you tonight at 8. Bring some nice wine.” Till said and hung up. 

Chris sighed. They had arguments like this all the time so Chris wasn't really worried about it. He went back to the bedroom and smiled when saw Richard was sprawled out on the bed and was snoring so softly around his binky loose into his mouth. God, he was adorable! There was no room for Chris on the bed anyway so he put on some sweatpants and grabbed the breakfast tray and left the room. He refilled Richard's sippy cup and set it back on the nightstand and cleaned up the kitchen. He was so hungry so he ate some toast and cheese and made some coffee and went to his laptop to check his emails. It took him one full hour! And after that, he flipped through TV for a while and went back to work. He had a lot of reading to do so he got to it while having the laptop on the coffee table and sitting on the edge of the sofa. He lost track of time until he heard some noise and the bedroom door opened and a sleepy Richard walked out. He was wearing one of Chris's t-shirts and it was so huge on him that made him look even smaller. Not to mention the blue binky into his mouth and Mr. Bear dangling from his hand. He stood in front of Chris and let go of his binky and pouted at Chris. Chris smiled and pulled him to his lap. 

“How did you sleep, little angel?” Chris asked him. He snuggled his head against Chris's neck and hummed. 

“You left.” He mumbled. 

“I couldn't sleep, baby. Besides, you rolled over first! You snuggled to Mr. Bear instead of daddy.” Chris said with a fake hurt tone. 

“Are you jelly of Mr. Bear, dada?” Richard giggled sleepily. 

Chris chuckled. “I'm jealous of whoever else you even talk to, much less snuggle to.” 

“Aw, but dada is Reeshy’s one true wuv.” He mumbled and gave Chris a beautiful little smile. 

Chris held him tight into his arms. Completely smitten. “And baby is daddy's entire world…. Did you sleep well?” Richard nodded against Chris's neck. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” 

Richard lifted his head up and looked into Chris's eyes. “So vewy good.” 

“How's your pee-pee?” Chris asked. 

“He says hi.” Richard scrunched his nose with a little giggle. Chris laughed at the cuteness. 

“I mean the pain.” 

“It's better, daddy.” 

“Good, check and see if you can sit down easily, baby.” Chris told him. 

Richard slid off his lap and sat on the couch and wiggled around a bit. “All good, daddy.” 

Chris sighed with relief and picked him up in his lap again. “Till called when you were asleep.” Then proceeded to tell Richard about the invitation. 

Richard looked a bit dismayed and anxious. So Chris added. “We won't go if you don't want to, sweetheart.” 

“I want to see Sophia before she leaves, but… but Mr. Lindemann doesn't like me.” He looked down and bit his bottom lip. 

Damn Till! “Baby, he does. Can you please give him another chance? He's my best friend. I know you're always nice and polite to people.” This was absolutely true. 

Richard finally nodded. “M’kay, dada. I want to make you happy.” 

Chris gave his big considerate boy a smile and kissed him. 

They spent a few more hours cuddling and talking to each other and eating something until it was time to go. Chris helped Richard choose some clothes to wear and he ended up with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that said I (heart) dinosaurs and had some doodles of tiny dinosaurs and his army jacket over it. Chris wore his casual jeans and navy blue slim fit shirt and a leather jacket. He had a giant cabinet section in his closet filled with his favorite fancy wines and other drinks. He picked out a classy bottle of wine that he knew Till would like and Richard said he wanted to get some flowers for Sophia. They got some orchids on their way to Till’s place and arrived there about ten minutes later. Richard looked extremely anxious, Chris felt bad for making his boy do that. He took Richard into his arms when they were in the elevator. “It's gonna be alright, baby boy. We're just gonna have fun, ok? If anything bothered you, let me know and we'll immediately leave.” Richard just nodded. 

____________

Richard was very anxious about that night. If it was up to him, he'd want them to stay home and cuddle all day, but he thought to himself that this was the one thing daddy asked him to do and was important to him and Richard really wanted to be a good boyfriend as much as he needed to be a good little so he agreed to this. He was just hoping that Mr. Lindemann could like him. 

The elevator stopped and they stepped out. Mr. Lindemann was standing by the door with a smile to greet them. “Heeey, you guys made it.” He said with a happy laughter. He was a huge man! Compared to him, Richard was an actual child! He had kind of an intimidating aura around him, maybe it was his deep green eyes or his pitch black hair. Richard wasn't sure. He watched when he and daddy hugged. “Brought you this.” Daddy told him and gave him the bottle of wine. Richard was just standing awkwardly behind daddy waiting for them to notice him. 

“And the guest of honor… how are you, Richard?” Mr. Lindemann put a heavy hand on Richard's shoulder. 

“Thank you, sir. How are you?” Richard said and tried to stop his voice from trembling. 

“No need to call me sir, Richard. It's Till. I see you brought flowers for me. That's so sweet of you.” He smiled and Richard blushed. He definitely didn't have the guts to tell him that the flowers weren't for him. He just let go of the flowers when Mr. Lindemann took them from him. Richard looked down and breathed. 

“Till, they're for Sophia.” Daddy suddenly said with laughter. “Richard is too nice to tell you that.” Richard blushed again. 

“Oh, I'm so sorry. She arrived ten minutes ago. Here's your flowers, Richard. Come on in, guys.” Till laughed and said awkwardly, and then moved from the door to let them in. It was a giant apartment with walls filled with weird paintings. The first thing that caught Richard's eyes, was the big beautiful piano. Then, Sophia. He basically ran to her happily and they hugged. “I couldn't talk to you last night. I was so sad about it.” Richard pouted. But then gave her the flowers. “For you.” 

“Aw, darling. I love orchids, thank you. You were so busy being amazing last night. I'm so proud of you. Julia was so happy.” Sophia said with a big smile. 

“I know! Da--Chris told me.” Richard corrected himself before letting it slip out. 

Daddy and Sophia hugged and said hi too, and then they sat down. Mr. Lindemann announced that he's gonna get glasses for the wine, when he came back, he poured it into four glasses and distributed them. 

“To friends!” Mr. Lindemann raised his glass and they all clicked their glasses. It tasted so heavenly! 

“Hmm… this tastes so good!” Sophia said. 

“Yeah, this guy's a wine specialist.” Mr. Lindemann motioned towards daddy. 

“Unlike this guy.” Sophia motioned towards Richard. “I think last night was the only time I saw you kinda drunk. You were so social!” She added. 

Richard blushed before saying quietly. “I don't really like alcohol.” 

“So what do you do when you hang out with your friends?” Mr. Lindemann asked him. 

Richard slightly blushed. “Um… well… I didn't really have friends growing up, I just hung out with children at the orphanage.” 

“What about now? I mean you're still growing up, but you're probably more independent now.” Mr. Lindemann gave him a smile which Richard thought was sarcastic. 

“I'm really good friends wif… with my last roommate and his girlfriend. We hang out at the University a lot.” He replied. 

Suddenly Sophia saved him. “Richard, is that the t-shirt you made yourself? You still have it?” 

Richard smiled and nodded happily. “Wait, you made this?” Daddy asked. 

“Yeah, we used to buy super cheap patternless t-shirts and some fabric dye and other stuff and made clothes for ourselves at the orphanage. We did it like once a month. The kids loved it when I taught them how to make their old clothes pretty. Mama had an old sewing machine and she taught me how to work with it.” He explained happily and blushed deeper when everyone complimented him. 

After a while, Mr. Lindemann announced that dinner was ready and they went to the dining area and sat at the table. Richard quickly sat right next to daddy and daddy realized and smiled at him and kissed his temple in front of everyone which turned Richard crimson. Dinner was honey garlic roasted pork and baked potatoes with three different salads. Mr. Lindemann cut the pork and filled everyone's plates. Then poured them wine, and they began eating while the three grown-ups were talking and Richard was basically zoned out. The conversation was too boring for him! He suddenly jumped when daddy gently shook his shoulder. “Baby? Till asked you a question.” 

Richard's eyes grew round and he looked at Mr. Lindemann. “Sorry, sir. I didn't hear you.” 

“It's ok. I asked about what you do aside from going to the university?” He asked in a really friendly manner. 

“I… I worked at Starbucks for two weeks but I quit last week.” He said. He wasn't really comfortable telling him about working at the bar. 

“Oh? I guess working for money wasn't fun anymore?” He asked. Richard blushed at that comment. 

“Till!” Daddy said with a warning tone. 

“What? I'm just asking. It's a perfect set up that you guys have. I totally support it, really. Nothing beats living in an all-expense paid loft with a built-in sugar daddy.” 

Richard felt his face burning and his skin zinging with embarrassment. Before he could stop himself and his adrenaline rush, he was standing up while crying and trying to speak. “I'm gonna do something else for a job because I hated Starbucks, because the manager knew I was trans and he got abusive and tried to touch me once. Mr. Lindemann, I'm sorry someone broke your heart and used you for your money and left you, but… I love him. He saved my life, literally. And I'm gonna pay him back for my tuition and… and I swear to my mama's grave that I love him.” Richard repeated again, and trailed off. His breath hitched in his throat and he walked away from the table and out of the dining room and couldn't find the exit door, instead, he ran to the giant balcony and locked the glass door behind himself and tried to hide behind the curtain so no one would bother him. He regretted it instantly. It was extremely cold! He shivered while sobbing. He knew this would happen. He knew people would think that! He was sure of it since the first day. If this was Chris's best friend reaction, what would his family say? 

He suddenly heard a knock on the glass door. It was daddy. He was holding Richard's army jacket which he had gotten him. Richard sniffled and shook his head no. He looked away and the cold wind on his wet face, felt like an ice dagger was running across his cheeks. 

“Baby, please open the door. It's just me.” Daddy pleaded. 

Richard stood there for another few moments and then unlocked the door and let him in. “Here, baby. Wear your jacket, you're shivering.” He tried to help Richard wear it, but Richard scooted away. “It's not mine. You bought it. It's yours.” 

Daddy sighed and grabbed Richard's arm and pulled him close and just held him into his arms. Richard started sobbing again and clutched to him. Daddy wrapped the jacket around his back and held him tight. “Daddy Chris, I swear to God that I love you. I love you. I don't want money, or presents or clothes. I just want you.” He sobbed. 

“I know, baby. I don't doubt you and your pure love for me, not for one second.” He kissed Richard's hair. Then, out of habit and need, Richard clung to him and basically climbed up and daddy held onto his hips so Richard could wrap his arms and legs around him. Richard felt daddy moving and he sat down on a bench on the balcony. They cuddled tightly in silence for minutes. 

“Puppy? What's this about someone touching you at work? Why didn't you tell me sooner? I asked you if anyone bothered you there.” Daddy murmured to him. 

Richard clung to him harder and sniffled. “He just tried to, dada. Amy walked in and he stopped. I quit the next day on the phone.” He mumbled. 

“How did he know you were trans?” He asked. 

Richard breathed. “He walked into the staff room when I was changing my t-shirt and asked about my binder. Then he asked if this meant I… I had a… a-” 

“I get it, baby. What happened next?” Daddy squeezed him into his arms protectively. 

“At first, I just thought it was common ignorance and he didn't mean to be disrespectful. I said this is not the kind of question you can just ask people… and he said I was not people, and he said I was the… the hottest freak of nature and that it'd be hot to… to rape me.” He shivered remembering that day. He never told anyone. He just ran out after Amy, without knowing it, saved his life. 

Daddy suddenly made him lift his head up and looked at him in the dim light of the balcony. “I'm gonna shut that place down. I'll make sure that piece of shit can never get a job ever again.” He growled in a way that actually scared Richard and made him stiffen his entire body with an involuntary response. 

Daddy sighed and held him into his arms again. “I'm sorry, baby boy. I didn't mean to scare you. Shhh… it's ok. Daddy's sorry. Daddy loves his little sweetheart so much. I just-” Daddy suddenly trailed off. Richard sniffled and lifted his head up again. “Dada Chris? Baby wuv you too… wat-” Richard saw daddy staring at somewhere behind him and turned his head to see what it was. 

It was Mr. Lindemann. 

Richard froze! Before he could think of a reaction, daddy very gently helped him get off his lap and then stood up with one arm around Richard. “We're leaving.” He announced with a stern tone. 

“Wait…” Mr. Lindemann said. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I came here to talk to Richard.” He said in a soft tone. 

“And offend him even more than you already have? I won't allow it. Let's go, sweetheart.” 

Mr. Lindemann stepped closer. “No, Chris. Come on, man. He's right… you're right, Richard. My own horrible experience has lead me to believe that the same thing applies to you and I was just trying to look after my best friend. I just wanna talk now. Can you and I talk? Man to man?” Mr. Lindemann looked intently into Richard's eyes. 

Richard dared to look back into those honest green eyes, and slightly nodded, and looked up at daddy. “It's ok.” He said. 

Daddy sighed. “I'll wait inside. You raise your voice at him or give one sarcastic comment, Till, that'll be it. We're out of here.” He said seriously. 

The other man nodded. Daddy looked back at Richard and softly told him. “If at any point you wanted to leave, you just say the word and daddy will get you outta here, ok?” 

Apparently, daddy believed that cat was out of the bag anyway, but it still made Richard blush. He nodded and watched as daddy left the balcony. Richard wore his jacket to feel warmer. 

"He's not my sugar daddy." Richard blurted out.

"I believe you." He said.

Richard nodded.

“I should have known better, Richard.” He said and Richard remained quiet. 

“What I'm about to say is honestly not meant to be sarcastic, but I should have known better than to be so mean to a kid. Hell, if I'd gotten my first girlfriend pregnant, you'd be my kid's age now. I'm… four years older than Chris by the way. I went to college late.” He said jokingly. 

Richard didn't say anything. The man sighed. “Listen, Richard. You have no obligation here to forgive me. Just try to understand me. That woman shattered my heart into pieces. Chris probably didn't tell you the whole story and I'm not going to either. Just know that… the trauma is still with me and I can't help but try to at least protect those close to me from the same thing. The thing is… Chris is smart. Too smart in fact. If he loves and trusts you to this degree… then I can give you the benefit of the doubt. You're a sweet kid. That much is obvious. I really hope you can forgive me and we can start over and try to be friends.” He said. 

Richard remained quiet for a while. He wasn't really one for holding grudges and it was obvious that this man really loved Chris too. 

“I saw a piano in your living room.” He said. 

“What?” Mr. Lindemann asked, confused. 

“Can I please play it, Mr. T?” He asked politely and tried to sound as friendly as possible. 

The man smiled. “Sure, be my guest.” Then he added. “How did you learn?” 

“Oma had an old one in her house and I taught myself when I was around nine.” He replied and they walked out of the balcony where daddy was waiting for them. He grabbed Richard, kissed his forehead and hugged him. “You alright, baby?” 

“Yes, da-Chris.... Mr. T is gonna let me play his piano.” Richard blushed because he almost slipped again. 

“Don't stop yourself on my account, Richard. You can call him whatever you like. I'll go get my other guest whom you rudely abandoned, Chris.” Mr. T said and left the room. 

Richard looked up at daddy, and grinned. “Daddy daddy daddy daddy.” He said happily and raised on his tiptoes and kissed daddy's cheeks, jaw and lips noisily. Daddy laughed. 

“What was that for?” 

“All the daddies I didn't get to call you tonight.” He replied and ran over to the piano and sat behind it. Till and Sophia walked into the room when Richard started playing his favorite new song from the movie frozen, but didn't sing with it because he was too shy to sing in public and also he couldn't correctly remember the English lyrics. The rest of the evening was really fun. Richard didn't drink any more wine but the other three did. Till asked Richard to play a few famous German songs and Till sang to them and his voice was so deep and amazing that it fascinated Richard. 

It was around midnight and Richard was so tired and they all had things the next day and daddy looked fairly drunk when he announced that they should be leaving. 

“Daddy, you're drunk. Please don't drive now!” Richard whispered to him. He had never seen Chris drunk. 

“You're right, boo-boo. Till, can you call us a cab?” 

“Yeah, sure.” He took his phone out to call.

Sophia sat next to Richard. “Reesh, how are you?” She asked. 

Richard smiled at her. “Really good.” He said and glanced at daddy who was sitting on the other couch with his eyes closed. 

“How are you handling everything?” She asked. 

“It's just that I get very dysphoric sometimes, but… but he really helps me with it. Acts like my chest doesn't exist, which I can't be more thankful for.” He said. 

“It's good to hear that. I absolutely understand your outburst tonight. But, Richard, we've talked about your temper. Do you still get angry so fast? I'm not talking about tonight. You had everything to get angry tonight.” One of Richard's problems had always been that he would always choose shouting and crying over sitting down and talking. It was just how his brain worked. His anxiety levels never really left any space for rational thoughts. 

“I can't control it. You know I can't. But I've been fine lately. I haven't had any anxiety episodes since last week when I had a nightmare.” He told her. Of course, Sophia knew about it. She wasn't Richard's official therapist anymore but they'd still talk every week. 

“What does he say about it?” She asked. 

“He helps me calm down. It's like he can do magic.” He smiled. 

“Does he know we talk every week?” 

“No, but I've been meaning to tell him. It's not really a big deal. I probably need to find an official therapist though. I need another letter for top surgery.” 

“It's absolutely your decision. You can always talk to me. I'm seriously considering moving to Berlin, Richard. I've been wanting that since years ago. I just had a couple of patients with special needs.” She said. 

Richard perked up. “Really? Oh my God. That's so awesome. You'll be my therapist again.” He said happily. “When?” He asked. 

“I'm working on finding a place for my office and doing all the paperwork takes time. Till says he can help.” She said and smiled. 

Richard gasped jokingly. “Do you like him? Was today a date?” 

Sophia smiled back at Richard. “I don't know, Richard. We'll see what happens. I got really mad at the way he acted earlier tonight towards you, but he explained it to me.” 

“He was really just looking out for his best friend.” Richard said. 

Sophia gave him a strange look for a moment. “Honey, I'm so happy for you and Chris. It's so great to see you this happy. Studying in a great university, having a committed loving relationship… being so brave about your identity. Dahlia would be so proud of you, you know that, right?” She said with too much emotion in her voice. Richard's eyes and throat were burning and he squeezed his eyes to stop himself from crying when he heard his mother's name. 

“I miss her, Soph. I can't stop thinking about how sick she was during her last days. How useless I was.” He finally let go of his tears. 

Sophia had tears in her eyes too. “Oh… honey. Come here.” She pulled Richard into her embrace and gently patted his back. “I'm pretty sure she'd want you to remember her as beautiful as she really was. As the most amazing mother in the world. You weren't useless, darling. You were a child. You did your best, ok? Nothing is on you.” She said soothingly. Richard suddenly felt another hand on the small of his back and another on his leg. Sophia gently let him go and basically handed him to daddy who was kneeling in front of Richard on the floor. His eyes were bloodshot, but he still seemed loving and concerned. Richard touched his hair and smiled through tears. “Please take me home.” He pleaded. 

Daddy kissed his hand and smiled up at him. “As my little prince commands.” They got up. Richard blushed when he saw Till was watching the whole thing. 

“Your cab is here.” He gave Richard a kind smile. 

Richard wiped his tears, and took a few steps towards Till. “Mr. T, thank you for tonight. I promise I will never break your best friend's heart. I'll look after it because I love it as my own.” He was definitely drunk on being too sleepy. He would never get so serious. 

“I know you would.” He said and hugged Richard for a good three seconds and let him go. 

They said their goodbyes and settled in the back of the cab. Richard felt like he should be the one taking care of daddy that night. The man seemed so out of it. He had one of Richard's hands in his lap and his head was laid against the window. Richard gently pulled his hand away and whispered to him. “Daddy? You wanna lay in Reeshy’s lap?” 

Daddy smiled with his eyes closed and nodded. Richard scooted away to give his tall daddy some space. He began playing with daddy's curls when his head was in his lap. “My sweet big boy.” Daddy slurred and smiled with his eyes closed.   
When they got to the apartment and daddy paid for the drive, they got into the elevator. “Are you ok, baby?”

Even in his out-of-mind state, he was still thinking of Richard. Richard smiled. “I'm good, daddy. Let's put you to bed.” He said when they got to the highest floor and he helped daddy get out. “Dada Chris, I can't carry you like you do me, please stand up here so I can open the door.” He said and helped daddy lay against the wall. He unlocked the door and they entered the apartment. Richard helped daddy into the bedroom. “Daddy, do you need to tinkle?” He asked. Daddy went and sat down on the edge of the bed and lay his upper body down. 

Daddy had a constant smile on his face, and he nodded. “Ok, Reeshy helps wif clothes and then tinkle.” Richard sat next to him and began unbuttoning the man's shirt, and then his belt and pants. Daddy pulled his hips up to help Richard take his pants and underwear off. “Ok, dada. Can you get up? I'll help.” He said and tried to pull daddy up, but he was heavy and he wasn't really cooperating. 

“Not without kisses.” Daddy said with his eyes closed. Richard giggled and kissed him noisily and so hard on his face and neck and chest until daddy was laughing too. He finally got up and Richard had to help him because he was very imbalanced. Richard stumbled trying to hold daddy's weight but finally managed to get him into the bathroom. “Ok, daddy. Tinkle time.” He said. 

Daddy chuckled and it sounded so throaty. He held one hand against the wall and reached for his cock and started peeing. Richard stared at it and for some reason was hypnotized. He'd always wanted to be able to tinkle standing up. He would even try sometimes in the shower. He knew it was disgusting to tinkle in the shower because his anatomy never allowed him to aim! 

He suddenly caught daddy's eyes on him and realized how creepy it was to stare at someone's genitals while they were peeing. He looked away quickly and went crimson. “I'm… I'm sorry, daddy.” 

Daddy flushed the toilet and began washing his hands. “As long as mine is the only one you stare at, it's ok.” He said with a crooked smile. 

Richard blushed further. “I swear I don't look at other people in the bathroom. I'm not a pervert.” He mumbled and began preparing daddy's toothbrush and handed it to him. He was too shy to make eye contact with people, much less eye-to-peepee contact in bathrooms. Besides, every time he'd go to the men's room, he would just run straight to the cubicle with his head down. 

They finished brushing their teeth and daddy still hadn't responded to Richard and it was beginning to worry him. “You're not a pervert if you stare at daddy's cock, baby. Ok? It's yours anyway. And I know you don't look at other people in the bathroom. Now, take daddy to bed and give him his stuffie to cuddle.” 

Richard giggled while helping daddy back to bed. “Daddy doesn't have a stuffie.” 

Daddy threw himself on the bed. “He does. It's called Reeshy.” 

Richard squeaked and started taking off his own clothes. “Daddy, your stuffie has to tinkle.” 

“Can I stare?” He said devilishly and Richard squeaked loudly and threw his t-shirt at him. Daddy snuggled to Richard's t-shirt and breathed into it. “God, how do you smell so damn good? Go tinkle and get your pretty bum in bed.” 

Richard happily obeyed and after a few minutes was settled into daddy's arms. “I haven't been drunk since forever!” Daddy slurred. 

“Are you gonna remember tonight?” 

“The night baby took care of daddy? We'll see.” He said sleepily. 

Richard shuffled around and stretched his body forward to open the nightstand drawer and get his purple binky. He was back in daddy's arms with his binky around his neck. 

Richard kissed daddy's chin. “Goodnight, daddy Chris. I love you.” He said and put his binky into his mouth. 

“I love you too, puppy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedbacks are absolutely appreciated.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***personal note*** I did the genetic blood test today and I'll start testosterone on October 9th!!! Last year this time, I was dying for my visa to come so I could move to Germany, and this year... I'm so happy. I can't wait to see my future! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

____________________

Richard was startled out of sleep with daddy's alarm going off. He jumped up and his binky fell off his mouth. He managed to turn off daddy's alarm and saw that the man was fast asleep and looked like not even a bomb could wake him up. Richard sat up on the bed rubbing his eyes and glanced at daddy. This was probably the first time Richard had woken up before daddy. He had no idea what to do! Tinkle seemed like a good idea so he got off the bed and went to the bathroom. He had a class in two hours and the university was pretty far from daddy's apartment which was fine because daddy always drove him there in the mornings. Richard figured he should continue taking care of daddy, and one thing he knew was to never wake up a person who fell asleep drunk. He decided to make some breakfast for daddy, leave a note and leave. He couldn't skip his morning class that day because he had to hand in his homework assignment. He made some toast and jam for himself and made coffee and boiled eggs for daddy, poured the coffee in a flask to keep it warm and put some jam and fresh toast on the plate with the eggs as well. He had made a mess in the kitchen and tried to clean it as quickly as possible. Then he ran back to the bedroom and wore the first clothes he saw! He was in the middle of writing a note to daddy when daddy's phone rang again. Richard snatched it and ran out of the room. It was Francis Nehm. Daddy's assistant. Richard thought he should probably answer it and tell her daddy was not available. God, he was too awkward for this. He took a deep breath, hit the green and answered. 

“Mr. Schneider’s phone. Richard speaking.” He blurted out. 

“Oh… hello, Richard. Good morning. Can I speak with Mr. Schneider?” 

“Sorry. He's… um… unavailable. He's not feeling well.” Was that a lie? Probably! 

“Oh, is everything ok? Do I need to send a doctor?” 

“Uh… no no. He's sleeping now. Can I take a message?” He asked politely. 

“Well, he has a meeting in fifteen minutes which I should probably cancel now. It's ok, I'll reschedule.” 

Richard got worried for a second. What if daddy would get mad at him for not waking him up? “Is it very important? Should I wake him up and tell him?” 

“No no. It's the weekly meeting with the legal department. Nothing urgent.” 

“Ok, I'll let him know. Thank you.” 

“Thank you, Richard. Ah… also. Your speech at the fundraising event was very inspiring. You are very brave. I'm glad I got the opportunity to tell you that.” She said. 

Richard blushed, but couldn't stop his smile. “Thank you.” Was all he could manage. After that, they said goodbye and hung up. Richard finished the note for daddy and quickly left the apartment. 

_____________________

Dear (probably) hangover daddy  
Hi!   
I didn't wake you so you could get some more rest. I wanted to skip class and take care of you, but I had to hand in my homework and today was the deadline. I'm so sorry I didn't stay. I made you breakfast though. ^_^  
Your assistant called when you were asleep and said she'd reschedule your legal meeting or something. I told her you weren't feeling well and were asleep.   
Drink lots of water today!   
See you tonight.   
Kisses and cuddles,   
Your nini

Chris saw Richard's note when he woke up with a banging headache. The first time he read it, he didn't really get it because his head was pounding. He just realized that Richard was at university. He went and took a shower and then came back and read Richard's note one more time. He couldn't stop smiling at his beautiful handwriting and the fact that he had signed it “your nini” and more importantly, all the cute little doodles around the piece of paper. He ate the breakfast that his precious nini had made him, took an aspirin and got a bottle of water to drink on the way, got dressed and called a cab to go to Till’s apartment and get his car. 

He texted Richard when he was in the cab. “My sweet nini, thank you for the delicious breakfast and for answering my phone. I'm on my way to work now. I feel much better. See you tonight, my love.” 

Throughout the day, Chris was busy with work and had a bottle of water with him the whole time because he was still feeling hungover and had a headache. Richard hadn't texted him all day which was unusual. He had a meeting with a journalist from a magazine for their article on his company and young leadership. It was around 3 o'clock when the interview finished and Chris walked out of his office to see the journalist out when he saw Richard sitting on the bench in the hallway with his backpack on and he was hugging his knees and looked absolutely miserable. “Richard?” 

Chris called with a hint of surprise in his voice. 

“Hi!” Richard said in the saddest voice possible and looked so relieved and got up and basically ran to Chris but noticed the woman next to Chris, and blushed, and stopped in his tracks. The woman looked at Richard and seemed curious. 

“Baby, what's wrong?” Chris asked and walked to Richard and hugged him. His boy looked like he could use a hug. “Are you ok?” Richard clung to him for a moment and reluctantly let go. 

“I left my keys at the apartment, and my phone died this morning and I couldn't call anyone and I went to Paul's first but he wasn't home so I had to come here to get your keys. I'm so sorry.” He explained in a panicked haze and looked like he's been through more than what he just described. 

“It's ok, sweetheart. Go to my office and I'll be with you in a minute.” He said calmly and kindly. Richard just nodded and glanced at the curious woman and walked away. 

“I'm very curious who that young man was. I don't assume your son.” She said. 

“What? No! He's my boyfriend.” Chris replied as they began walking towards the elevator. Who in their right mind would think Richard was his son! 

“Really? That's great. Would you mind if I take a picture of you both? For the article.” She asked hopefully. 

“Our time is up, Ms. Meyer. I'm sorry. Besides, my boyfriend doesn't like his picture taken.” He replied and pressed the elevator button. 

“Sure, I understand. It was nice interviewing you, Mr. Schneider and thank you for your time. Good luck.” She said as she entered the elevator. 

“Thank you, and you too. Have a nice day.” And the doors slid close. 

Chris walked to Francis’s desk and saw her deep in work. She looked up when Chris stopped by her desk.

“Sir?” 

“Why didn't you tell me Richard was here? When did he arrive?” He asked. 

“Oh, he got here about half hour ago. I wanted to let you know but he said not to bother you and that he'll wait. He seemed pretty panicky.” She said, and that suddenly reminded Chris. 

“Thanks. By the way, Can you call Lorenz and tell him I might want him in my office later?” 

“Absolutely.” 

Chris thanked her and went back to his office. Richard was standing by the glass wall behind Chris's desk and was facing outside probably looking at the city. Chris shut the door and walked to Richard and wrapped his arms around the kid. “You know I love it when you come here, rainbow.” 

Richard just turned around and buried himself in Chris's embrace. “It's been a long day, daddy. I just wanted to go home and be away from the world and wait for you.” He mumbled with a shaky voice. 

“Baby boy, is everything ok? What else happened besides your keys and your phone?” 

Richard looked up and he had tears in his impossibly pretty eyes. “This morning on the tram, someone called me “miss”. And then the whole day was ruined and then everything became too much and I'd missed you because we didn't have any time together this morning. And then I had to come here, and I'm so sorry and I just wanna lay down and close my eyes and… and…” He was full on crying now. 

“Shhhh…” Chris held him into his arms. Richard was in a place in his transition journey that it would take an absolutely dumb person to mistake him for a girl! Granted, he had zero facial hair and his skin was smooth but his jawline was quite masculine. He was small but still lean and muscular and he did have arm hair. 

“Baby, it's ok. It's over now, my sweet boy. Ok? You're just tired. Daddy's here now.” He whispered soothingly. Chris understood that Richard was just emotionally drained and he was feeling very anxious. Chris wished he could take him home right away and take care of him but he still had work to do and couldn't just take off. 

Richard remained quiet for a while. 

Chris kissed him gently and smiled when Richard climbed up and clung to him by four limbs. He loved holding Richard like this. He gently kissed Richard's neck and felt a small shudder running through his pretty boy as he tightened his arms around Chris. 

“Take me home and bathe me and cuddle me and play wif me, daddy. I need you so much.” He mumbled. 

Chris sighed and gently put him down. “Baby boy, I still have some work to do. What do you say I send you home with a driver and you can relax a little bit and I promise I'll be home at 6. It's only three hours.” 

Richard nodded, but was obviously uneasy with this plan. 

“We'll do whatever my nini wants when I get home. Does that sound good to you?” He said. Richard looked a little more hopeful and nodded, more at ease now. 

“Ok, puppy, let me give you my keys.” He gently pulled away from Richard, and went to get his keys. He detached his car keys from the apartment keys and handed them to Richard, then called Francis. 

“Yes, sir?” 

“Francis, call Fred, please. Tell him to take Richard home.” 

“Yes, sir. Right away.” She hung up. 

“Thank you, sir daddy.” Richard said a little bit happier. Chris smiled and kissed him. “No problem, sir nini.” 

Richard giggled. Chris just had to kiss him every time he'd make that giggle noise. “Just watch out for the buzzer. I don't have keys now. And text me when you get home, ok? I'll get dinner on my way back.” 

“No, no please. I'll cook. It always makes me feel good. Just please don't be late, daddy, ok?” 

“Ok, baby. I promise. Just try to relax a little bit, and before you know it, I'll be home and I'll bathe you. And you're not allowed to stress over anything. Do some coloring, ok? You've got a new coloring book.” 

Richard stuck out his bottom lip. “Can I do the one wif snow white and the dwarfs? Boyrex and Mr. Bear will help too.” He asked. 

“Ok, baby boy. Do that one. I'll check them when I'm home.” He said and kissed Richard's curled up nose. 

The phone on Chris's desk rang. Chris pushed the button and Francis told him that the driver was ready. Chris told her to take Richard outside and put him in the car. After that, he kissed his baby again and sent him on his way. 

***

A few minutes later, Francis called and said that Lorenz was ready to see Chris. Christian Lorenz was the head of the company's legal department. He was a very well educated and professional lawyer who was also Chris's and Till’s personal lawyer. 

There was a knock on the door and a man almost as tall as Chris entered. He was very skinny and always had his black frame glasses on. He was wearing a dark suit and as always looked extremely serious. Just like Chris preferred his employees to be. 

“You wanted to talk to me?” He asked. 

“Yes. I have an important question for you.” 

The man gave him a questioning look. 

“Has there ever been any reports of sexual harassment in this company? Verbal or physical or whatever.” He asked. 

Lorenz frowned in concentration. “There was one case last year. Male employee attempted physical harassment to a female intern. She reported it and she had proof so we fired the guy.” He replied. 

“And if she didn't have proof?”

“We'd try to get to the bottom of it, but it usually gets complicated and no one gets fired because what if it didn't happen? The victim might decide to hire their own lawyer. We try to prevent that as much as possible.” 

“Ok, from now on, if there was ever such case, I want it to come directly to me before anyone makes any decisions. We'll have mandatory seminars and teach whatever that needs to be taught.”

“Of course. I will let the HR know, they'll pull up the documents and plan the program. Is that all?” He asked. 

“No…” Chris took a deep breath. “I want someone out of a job. For a long time.” 

Lorenz raised his eyebrows. 

“My boyfriend worked at Starbucks for two weeks. He quit last week because his manager was verbally harassing him and when he was about to get physical, someone entered the room and he stopped. Richard ran out of the place and quit over the phone. I want that guy out of that job or any other jobs, and I don't want Richard involved in any of it.” He said firmly. 

“We're gonna need him to file the complaint and then talk in front of a judge!” 

“No. I don't want him in any court or anywhere near that asshole. Get it done, Lorenz.” Chris got up and went to the door and opened it. “I don't care how, but get it done. This is a very important and personal matter to me.” He ordered seriously. 

Lorenz got up, nodded with a frown and walked towards the door. “Send me a name and an address.” He said and left Chris's office. 

***

Richard buzzed him in literally two seconds after he pressed the bell button. It was as though he was waiting by the door and when Chris finally got to their floor he saw that the boy actually was sitting by the door. He had his coloring book and all his color pencils along with his stuffies right behind the apartment door under the buzzer. 

“Baby, why were you sitting by the door?” Chris asked after kissing him briefly. 

“I wanted to watch out for the buzzer. Sowy, daddy. I'll clean up right now.” He said innocently, and knelt on the floor, but Chris had other plans. He took Richard's arms and helped him get up. “Not now, baby. Daddy needs his little prince now.” Richard smiled at him, relieved. Chris took his jacket off and told Richard with a grin. “Hop up, puppy.” He stood with his back to Richard and slightly bent his torso. The kid giggled, put his hands on Chris's shoulders and jumped up. Chris held onto the crook of Richard's knees and walked to the bedroom. Richard giggled and shouted happily all the way and Chris thought that his giggles were therapeutic! He put the kid down when they were in the bathroom and switched the water on to fill the tub. 

“What bath bomb does Prince nini want today?” He asked, knowing how much the kid loved colorful water. 

Richard went through their bath bomb stash and cheered loudly for some reason. “We still have the unicorn, daddy.” He came back with a cone shaped bomb which was rainbow colored and had tiny stars around it. He dropped it into the tub and happily shouted “Kaboom.” 

Chris laughed at that and began undressing both of them. A couple minutes later, Richard was laid against him in the rainbow water and was quietly playing with the water. 

“How are you feeling, puppy?” Chris asked and kissed his hair. 

“Better wem dada’s home.” He mumbled. Chris smiled and kissed him again. “How was work, daddy?” He asked while holding Chris's hand and putting it on his stomach. For some reason he loved it when Chris would rub his tummy. 

“I want to start a new program, like a mandatory seminar on sexual harassment. Aside from telling them about the consequences, everyone should know that they can feel comfortable enough to tell their supervisor or me, if something happens to them, and it will be dealt with. Whether it's verbal harassment, or physical.” He said. 

Richard remained quiet, and after a minute he spoke quietly. “That's good. I hope nothing ever happens.” 

“I hope so too, puppy.” He said and kissed Richard's temple. 

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you.” He mumbled. Chris gently kissed the top of his bleached hair. “It was the night I was coming to the airport for you… it happened when my shift was finished… I… didn't want to spoil our night together and after that… you asked me to come live with you and I forgot all about it.” He explained quietly and suddenly turned slightly into Chris's arms and looked up at him. “Daddy… I… I don't wanna be the messed up kid you always have to take care of. I keep trying to be ok. I keep trying to be your… your partner, not your responsibility, but things just keep happening to me! Dysphoria, bad people harassing me or name calling me, or misgender me and then… my head goes cuckoo.” He said and looked absolutely embarrassed. 

Chris smiled at him. At his beautiful face. “You're not the messed up kid I have to take care of. You're the tiny little love of my life that I get to take care of. I hate the fact that things happen to you and I do everything I can to protect you, and if some inevitable thing such as some blind jerk misgendering you happens, I'll be right here for you to help you through it and to tell you that you're such a handsome and pure hearted young boy and how proud I am to have you as my little partner. I love our dynamic, baby. I love the way you are and I will support you through whatever you need to do to feel better and more comfortable. I'm just asking you to tell me every time you were feeling down. That's in your prince rules, isn't it? You're required to tell me everything that goes through that smart and beautiful brain of yours.” He said softly while playing with Richard's hair. Richard just snuggled his head in the crook of Chris's neck and remained silent. He was slowly melting against Chris and his breathing was becoming shallower. Chris looked down and smiled. The boy had drifted off to sleep. The water was getting colder and Richard's skin had gotten goosebumps so Chris decided to gently wake him up. “Baby, let's rinse off and get out. It's getting a little chilli.” 

Richard hummed and moved forward. Chris took off the shower drain and helped Richard out of the tub and into the shower and washed him and then, himself. He wrapped Richard's SpongeBob towel around him and then toweled himself. Richard walked out of the bathroom, and after a few seconds, Chris heard a small noise that sounded like a baby sneezing, then Richard ran back into the bathroom. He sniffled. “Cold inside.” He mumbled and sneezed again and looked confused after that. Chris thought that that tiny sneeze was just cuteness overload. It was the first time he was hearing that noise. It was just plain adorable. 

“Do you always sneeze like this?” He asked with a grin. 

“I… I fink so?” 

Chris walked to him with a bigger grin. “Is there anyway to make you sneeze?” 

Richard pouted. Chris chuckled and kissed his forehead before walking past him. “I'll go turn up the heat.” 

When that was taken care of, Richard was standing naked in the middle of the bedroom looking lost. Chris went to him. “See, baby? You are my responsibility. You call me daddy for a reason, don't you? In a way, you're responsible for me, too. Cuz we're partners and partners are responsible towards each other.” He said with a smile. 

“How am I responsible?” Richard asked. Looking like he was feeling better. 

“You came to Till’s place when I asked you to. I could say you didn't want to. You did it for me, didn't you? You felt responsible towards my feelings.” He explained. 

Richard stared up at him like he was digesting what Chris had just said. Then he just leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Chris's waist and snuggled to him. Chris smiled affectionately and held him like that. “What do you say we go to the kitchen and make dinner? I vote for naked cooking.” He said with a smile. 

Richard pulled away from him. He seemed hesitant all of the sudden. He looked down and toyed with his fingers.   
“Baby, what is it?” 

Richard reached and held Chris's hand. “C-can you sit down, daddy?” He said with a small voice. 

Chris frowned in confusion and complied and sat down naked on the made bed. Richard suddenly knelt by his feet and was now staring at Chris's cock just like he was last night. Chris might have been drunk but he could remember that. He remained silent to see what the boy needed. 

“How… how does it feel to have that?” He asked in a strange tone, he sounded cold and distant. He reached and softly grazed his fingers over Chris's soft length. 

Chris literally had no reply for that! “I've never had any other parts, so I can't tell you, baby.” He said. “How does yours feel?” That was a wrong question and Chris realized that from Richard's answer. 

“Wrong…. Sometimes… ” He replied quietly in a melancholic tone and wrapped his palm around Chris's cock. “I… I love that you have it.” He said hesitantly. 

“I… I can pretend it's mine.” He said and suddenly blushed. He got up. “No, no I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry. I'm not some weirdo. I promise.” He said, about to cry. Chris held his hands and pulled him close. 

“You're not a weirdo, baby boy. Ok? No need to panic. You can tell me what you feel and want.” He said calmly and kissed Richard's hands. Richard knelt between Chris's legs again. “How do you pretend it's yours?” He asked trying to get Richard to open up. 

“I… “ He looked down. “When…” He gaped and had tears in his eyes. Chris just let him generate his words in peace. 

“When it's in… my mouth or… or in me… I can pretend it's a part of me and it's mine and I don't want that moment to end because when it does… I'm… I'm left empty and with the wrong body parts.” His tears fell down in his lap. He quietly wept. “I'm disgusting.” He sobbed. Chris stared at the small figure kneeling on the floor in front of him and felt like his heart was being ripped apart. He leaned down and pulled Richard up and snuggled him tightly to his stomach. “You're not disgusting. You're precious, you're more precious that you know, my Reeshy. Baby, you don't have to pretend. I am yours, my love. Daddy completely belongs to you. My soul, my heart, my body… all yours. It's not attached to you all day but it doesn't mean that it's not yours…. Hey, look at me, sweetheart… look at daddy.” He said softly. Richard looked up. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was wet.

“A cock is not what makes you a boy. There are girls who have cocks. Would you call them boys?” He asked, knowing how Richard was all against gender norms. 

The boy shook his head frantically. “No, daddy, they're girls if they identify as girls.” 

“And you're a boy, because you identify as a boy. Your body is a boy's body because you are one. Haven't I told you that already, baby?” 

Richard nodded. He wasn't weeping anymore. He's been reading a lot about the topic and watching lots of videos made by trans people ever since Richard told him he was trans. He wanted to have all the necessary information so he wouldn't say anything problematic and wrong out of ignorance. 

“I understand your dysphoria. Not literally, but I do get that you feel like you need to modify your body to be like the image you have of yourself in your head. And you're doing it, aren't you? You're taking hormones and pretty soon you can have your top surgery. Do you want any other surgeries?” He asked. They had never talked about that before. 

“May-maybe a hysterectomy, but… but nofing else. I… I don't hate my pee-pee. It… it can make me feel good.” He hesitated. 

“If it's any help…” Chris said with a joking tone. “I don't hate your pee-pee either, in fact I love it… especially when it's all hard and needy just for me.” He laughed when Richard blushed and squeaked, and snuggled to his stomach. 

They stayed like that for about a minute when Richard looked up with a grin. “I can hear daddy's tum-tum. It says feed me.” He said and giggled. 

Chris chuckled. “He's got a point, baby. Daddy's very hungry. I didn't have time for lunch today.” 

Richard's eyes grew round and he shot up to his feet. “Why didn't you tell me, daddy? I've been chewing your head off! Oh my God, I'll go get dinner ready. You just rest, ok? You're tired.” He said and hastily picked up Chris's t-shirt from the floor and ran out of the bedroom while trying to wear it. Two seconds later before Chris could move, Richard ran back into the bedroom with Chris's t-shirt like a dress on him, and gave a sloppy kiss to Chris on the corner of his mouth and ran back out. Chris laughed at the cute gesture, got up, wore his sweatpants and went into the kitchen. Richard was searching into the fridge, then he bent over and Chris wolf whistled at the sight of his cute perky ass and his little parts between them and his perfectly shaped and muscled legs. Richard stood back up with the block of Gouda in his hand and pulled the t-shirt down and pouted. “Not polite, daddy Chris.” 

Chris chuckled and snatched an apple and sat down at the table. “Hey, you flash those pretty little parts at me, I'm gonna look! It's just daddy's nature.” 

Richard just scrunched his nose and got to cooking. He made some tomato sauce in a pan and put it between layers of lasagna with lots of cheese and put the big container in the oven. Chris watched him the whole time and just enjoyed the view. The sweetest boy in the world was in his kitchen wearing his t-shirt and making both of them dinner all while being unbelievably cute and adorable with every movement. Richard stood in front of him and looked at him with doe eyes. “Can I please sit in your lap, sir daddy?” 

Chris smiled at him. “All yours, sir nini.” Richard giggled and sat happily in his lap and wrapped his arms around Chris's shoulders. Chris couldn't stop touching his thighs and hips. He was so perfectly squishy!

“Dinner in fifteen minutes.” Richard announced happily. 

“Well, my dinner is sitting in my lap. All juicy and fresh.” He said jokingly, and playfully bit Richard's shoulder and squeezed his legs. 

“That's desert, daddy Chris.” Richard said in a comically seductive way which made Chris laugh. 

“Wow, baby. Your seduction game is on point.” He said sarcastically. 

Richard pouted and smacked Chris on the shoulder. “Bad daddy.” 

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding… you don't really need a seduction game. Your existence alone gets daddy going.” Chris said with a chuckle. 

Richard snuggled to him, and after a few minutes lifted his head and looked at Chris. “I'll go shopping for my crafting business tomorrow, daddy. Paul will come wif me.” He said. 

“Oh? What are you gonna buy?” 

“I'm gonna check out some places and see what ideas I get, but mostly fabrics and sewing essentials, bags and t-shirts and stuff.” He replied. 

“Don't you need a sewing machine?” 

“It would make everything easier but I can also do without one. Maybe when I made some money off it, then I'll get one. One of my classmates texted me yesterday about the art I posted on my social media, and said she needs me to draw her something and is willing to pay for it. It also got me thinking. I can draw and sketch and get commissions.” He said happily. 

“That's great, baby. I'm proud of you. Do you have money for your shopping tomorrow?” 

“I still have around 2 thousand left. It should be fine for the next three months and hopefully, I start making money soon.” 

“And can I ask where this money is?” Chris asked cautiously. 

Richard sighed. “It's in a bank, daddy Chris.” 

Chris had this idea since the day Richard moved in with him. “What do you say we move both our money into one joined bank account?” 

Richard rolled his eyes. “Daddy, you make a fortune! Please don't trick me into giving me money. I might be a kid, but I'm not stupid.” He looked rather upset now. He tried to pull away from Chris, but Chris didn't let him. 

“I don't wanna trick you, sweetheart. Just hear me out. I didn't mean all my income. I have four different bank accounts, one of them is a joined one with Till. I divide my income, and now I think it's a good idea to put one portion of it in a joined account with my boyfriend. It's a smart thing to do. You'll never know what's gonna happen in business. It's also in my benefit to have an account with you. If any of us suddenly needs money, we can use that.” 

Richard looked at him suspiciously. “You're not lying to me, are you?” 

Chris looked offended. “Why would I lie to you?” 

Richard got off his lap and sat up on the table in front of him. “I… I didn't mean to offend you, I'm sorry. I just hate it when you lie to me about financial stuff. I'm trying to make my own way and you've already helped a lot, and I hate to think that my entire life is funded by you!” He looked down and looked embarrassed. 

Chris put a hand on Richard's leg. “Your life is not funded by me, baby. You're gonna pay me back for your tuition and that's the only thing I'm paying for!” 

Richard stuck out his bottom lip. “You gave me a fifty last week.” 

Chris sighed in annoyance and got up from the chair. “Because you needed cash and there was no ATM machine around, you put a fifty in my wallet after that without telling me! You think I didn't notice? Richard, stop obsessing over this. I'm seriously sick of it.” He almost shouted. He glanced at Richard. He was hugging his knees and looked anxious for being shouted at. Chris cursed himself and spoke with a soft voice. “Baby boy, this is a relationship. We're committed to each other, which means we're committed to each other's problems as well. Sometimes you have financial problems that I can solve, and sometimes I have problems that you can solve. It's always a two way road.” 

“You never have problems!” He mumbled. 

Chris smiled. “Everyone has things to deal with. Do you want to help me with something important?” 

Richard looked up with suspicious eyes. “What?” 

“My HR department is going to plan out this sexual harassment seminar thing. I know it's gonna be something very routine because they probably don't know how to approach the topic. and I don't want that. Would you like to plan it and then show it to me? This is very important to me. Prepare a proposal for me and we'll discuss it officially and in my office. You'll be my personal consultant.” He said. It actually made so much sense to ask Richard to do that. 

The kid's eyes glinted. “Are you serious? Daddy, do you really mean that?” 

“Of course I do. You're creative and you're the best candidate to design this program. If you were feeling comfortable enough, you'll pitch it to me with the HR team in the room, if not, you'll just pitch it to me and then… I get to fuck my personal consultant right on my desk.” He said jokingly. 

Richard looked up at him with a delinquent sparkle in his pretty eyes. “What if you fist your personal consultant in your office?” 

Chris chuckled delightfully and stood between Richard's legs and kissed his neck where he whispered. “Is that a yes?”

Richard hummed. “It's always yes to fisting.” He giggled when Chris looked him in the eye with mock disappointment. 

“You dirty little thing. You've got two weeks to pitch your proposal.” He said and pulled away from Richard making him whine. “Now get daddy his dinner, so he can have his desert.” 

“Yes, sir.” Richard saluted comically and got off the table and got the dinner ready. Chris had to admit. The kid really knew how to cook. It was such a delicious lasagna. After they were done with dinner, Chris said he'd wash the dishes since Richard did the cooking, and he didn't want to use the washing machine because it was basically two plates and a container! Richard sat on the countertop next to the sink and talked to Chris about his day and the interesting things he'd learned that day while eating minty gummy bears and occasionally giving Chris some of his gum-gums, and Chris literally watched as Richard slowly slipped into little space and everything about his demeanor changed. 

“... And then Reeshy got 1+ for his homework.” He finished happily. Chris dried his hands with a towel and stood between Richard's legs and kissed his forehead. 

“Let's see how Reeshy’s gonna do in the hard pee pee contest.” 

Richard blushed and made a pouty noise and hid his face in the crook of Chris's neck. He, then, slowly wrapped his arms and legs around Chris and melted against him. Chris smiled and picked him up and walked him to the living room and sat down on the couch with Richard straddling his lap. Richard slowly ground on him and Chris felt a slight shudder running through the boy. Chris held onto Richard's hips and pressed him down to his crotch. Richard quietly whined and Chris felt the boy's hot breath over his neck. It smelled like the minty sweets he had just eaten. Richard kept grinding on Chris while making tiny noises. Chris groped and squeezed his perky ass cheeks and it got small moans out of the boy. Richard grinding on Chris's fully clothed crotch was so incredibly hot that Chris thought he couldn't get enough of his baby's pleasure. After a few minutes, Richard's grindings turned more aggressive and his noises sounded painful and frustrated. “Baby? Baby, look at me, what is it?” 

Richard lifted his head. His pretty face was completely flushed and he had tears in his eyes. “Hurts, dada.” He said and stopped grinding. Of course it would hurt! “Baby boy, you're all dried out and you're grinding on my pants. Of course it hurts. You can't come this way. Come here, let daddy help.” Chris said and gently laid Richard on the couch and hung one of his legs over the couch so he could kneel and be between his legs. Richard's little parts were all red and when Chris licked him from his hole up to his tiny penis, Richard hissed and his whole body jerked. He was extremely sensitive from grinding on Chris's pants. Chris smiled and licked him again. “That'll teach you not to dry hump daddy's pants, little boy.” Richard moaned and Chris blew air on him which made the boy jerk again. His little dick was standing so hard and cute that Chris couldn't resist sucking it. He gently sucked it and played with it into his mouth and enjoyed Richard's whines and moans. “That's my favorite gummy bear.” He said and began sucking him again. Richard arched his back and whined and squeezed his whole body. Chris really loved how easy it was to make the boy come so fast and so repetitive. It was so adorable and sexy and also a big confident booster for Chris as well! Chris sucked the growth into his mouth mercilessly and with no pause until Richard gasped and after a few seconds, cried out in pleasure as he came. Chris ate him out through his orgasm and slowly let go. Richard's parts were still flushed, but now they were so wet and sloppy with spit. He heard Richard struggling to catch his breath. Chris picked him up from the couch and held him in his lap. The kid was practically out. “Next time just tell daddy you need him, ok, baby? It'll hurt your little boy parts if you grind them when they're dry.” 

Richard hummed quietly. “I need dada.” He mumbled. 

Chris smiled. “Ok, baby. Let's take you to bed and I'll give you more cummies, hm?” 

“Nönö.” He mumbled and slipped off Chris's lap between his legs and looked up at him pleadingly with those hazy and needy eyes. He nuzzled his cheeks to Chris's crotch and kissed the big bulge there. He was used to Chris getting his cock out for him. It was part of his very polite attitude where he wouldn't touch Chris without permission, unless it was about grinding on him! Chris smiled. He gently fondled Richard's soft hair. “Do you want daddy to get it out for you?” 

Richard nodded. Chris smiled and reached into his pants and underwear. He was already hard from eating out his boy. Chris gently gripped the hair at the back of Richard's head with one hand and held his cock in another. 

“Open your pretty lips, little prince.” He ordered softly. 

Richard hummed happily and opened his mouth. Chris brought his cock near those lips and before Richard could take it in, Chris pulled it back and laughed when Richard pouted and looked up. “Here, little puppy.” He smiled and rubbed the head against Richard's lips and when the boy was about to close his mouth around him again, Chris pulled back. Richard whined and stared up at him, pouting aggressively and desperately. 

Chris leaned down and thoroughly kissed the boy’s mouth and enjoyed how it relaxed Richard's shoulders. Then he pulled away and softly pushed Richard's head down on his cock. “Here you go, little boy. All yours.” He whispered and let go of Richard's head to allow him to do it however he liked. He stimulated the head by giving it tiny licks and driving Chris crazy. He could probably never understand how good he was making Chris feel. He left open mouth kisses on the side of Chris's cock and licked his balls. Chris hissed and began playing with the blond hair in his lap. Richard's hands were resting against Chris's legs. He rarely used his hands while blowing Chris. He liked playing with it and making a sloppy mess in the process. He took Chris's cock into his mouth and pushed his head down until his nose was pressed against Chris's abdomen. Chris groaned to the hot silky hole taking him in to the root. “That's it, baby. Good boy. You're doing great.” He murmured to him with a hoarse voice. Richard moaned around the cock in his mouth and deep throated Chris a few more times before pulling away and coughing aggressively. His face and neck were flushed and around his mouth was wet with spit. 

“Aw,,, my messy little boy. You choked yourself.” Chris said before softly grabbing Richard's throat and kissing his wet mouth. Richard moaned into the kiss and held onto Chris's wrist. Richard forcefully pulled away from Chris and put his mouth back on his cock. Chris wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock for further stimulation. He felt how Richard constricted his throat and let Chris's cock hit the back of his throat. The sheer size difference between them, was another thing that Chris really loved and found sexy. Richard was the perfect mini size, but he was still very muscular! He'd fit perfectly kneeling between Chris's legs and in his lap. 

“You're so cute while sucking daddy.” Chris murmured. Richard looked up at him, his eyes hazy and teary, his cheeks so adorably flushed and wet, his mouth stuffed with Chris's flesh. The sight made Chris's cock twitch in pleasure. Richard hummed and got back to licking the shaft. “There you go, my little puppy. You're making daddy feel so good.” Richard whined and put his mouth back on Chris and deep throated him and this time, kept bobbing his head. He pushed his ass back and moaned around Chris. Words had a huge impact on Richard. Dirty talk would get him going like nothing else. Well, almost everything could make the boy horny. He was young and literally hormonal and at the peak of his sexual awakening. 

Chris took Richard's hand and put it in his mouth wetting the boy’s fingers. “Touch yourself for daddy, baby. I want you to play with your boy parts.” 

Richard looked up for a second and blinked up at Chris. He looked hesitant, but then moved his hand between his legs and began playing with himself while continuing to bob his head. Richard's moans turned louder and a bit frustrated while most of his concentration was still on Chris. Chris was so lost in pleasure that at first, he didn't realize Richard had let go of his own penis and his hand was on Chris's cock now. He pulled his mouth away to catch his breath and it made Chris hiss at the lost pleasure. 

“Sowy, dada.” He mumbled, embarrassed. 

Chris leaned down and kissed his mouth. “It's ok, puppy. Do you want to stop?” Chris hoped with all his being that Richard didn't want to stop. 

“No… no. I… I wamt… “ He blushed and looked down. 

“Whatever you need, baby. Just tell daddy.” Chris said against Richard's forehead. 

Richard climbed up Chris and straddled his lap. “Bedroom, pwease. Daddy.” Was all he said. 

Chris smiled and picked him up and walked to the bedroom. He put Richard down on the bed. Richard crawled off the bed and knelt in front of him and looked up. “M-may I, daddy?” He asked quietly. 

Chris smiled at his polite boy. “Of course You may, my royal prince. Whatever you need.” 

Richard slowly pulled down Chris's pants and underwear off and Chris stepped out of them. Chris still had an erection which basically hit Richard in the face when it sprung out. Richard pouted, but then kissed the shaft. He crawled back on the bed still wearing Chris's t-shirt and held his hands out to Chris. He joined his baby on the bed. “Dada, can… can Reeshy… um… t-top?” He was staring at the sheets when he asked that. 

Chris tried to keep calm. This was the first time Richard was asking for something like this and Chris knew exactly how he felt about it. “Baby, that's daddy's hard limit. I don't like anything up my ass. I'm really so-” 

“EW! Daddy, no!” Richard almost shouted, then went crimson. 

“I mean on top… like on top of you! I don't wanna do that to daddy. I'm too little for that. Ewww!” He said disgustedly. 

Now Chris was laughing. “You said you wanted to top. That means you wanna do… THAT, baby. It's different than being on top of me. You don't need permission to be on top of daddy.” Richard pouted and nodded his head. Chris lay down on the bed and was curious to see what the boy wanted to do. 

Richard glanced at the nightstand and reached to it and got the lube out. Chris crossed his arms under his head and watched with amusement. Richard had never touched the lube before. He gave Chris another look and turned away from him and straddled his hips. All Chris could see now was Richard's back. He heard the bottle being uncapped and after a few seconds felt Richard's slick hand around his cock.

__________

Richard took a deep breath and poured some lube onto his palm. He looked down and tried to push his own legs back and cover his boy parts with the t-shirt. He was straddling daddy in a way which made it look like daddy's cock was actually attached to Richard. He rubbed his palms together to lube up both hands and then reached between his own legs with one hand and gripped daddy's cock with the other and began gently playing with his pee-pee and stroking daddy at the same time. He stared at daddy's cock and slowly started to zone out and feeling like it actually belonged to himself. He gave both their parts the same stimulation and felt like daddy's cock was actually his. He could hear daddy's breathing but he didn't touch Richard as if he knew what Richard was trying to do. Richard concentrated on the feeling inside him and the cock in his grip. He imagined what it would be like to have that between his legs all the time. To be born that way… the right way. He felt a burning lump in his throat and felt so guilty for feeling that way. He needed… needed so much to have that hard flesh inside him and feel it. He poured more lube on daddy and raised onto his knees and started slowly sinking down on daddy. He grunted to the feeling and felt how it was stretching him open so perfectly. He whined quietly when he was completely sitting on it. He leaned forward, put his palms on the sides of daddy's legs for leverage and began slowly moving his hips up and down. He moaned as he moved and was basically fucking himself. It felt so incredibly good that he forgot every negative thought in his head. He pushed the dysphoria out of his brain with each pump as he fucked himself harder on top of daddy. He could hear daddy's sexy groans and it calmed him down. He was making daddy feel good too. They were actually one! Daddy was right. Richard didn't need a cis man's dick in order to be a boy. He was a boy! He was born a boy with different body parts. The thought made him want to move faster and he did. He cried out in pleasure and let out a noise which he couldn't tell if it was a sob or a laughter. He had so many mixed feelings, it was overwhelming. He heard daddy's grunt and saw him curling his toes and felt his cock twitch inside him. Richard leaned further down because his knees were giving out as he moved faster and whimpered. He felt daddy's precum and the knot in his tummy slipped down as he felt his entire body going into a contraction. He groaned loudly. He couldn't move anymore but he gathered all his leftover energy and his pelvic went into another involuntary contraction as he came hard and at the same time, felt daddy shooting inside him and hissed as he relaxed his legs. Richard finally let go and melted over daddy's legs without even trying to pull his hips off daddy. Because he liked the way it was pulsating inside him. He tried to catch his breath. His arms and knees were slightly hurting and his hole still felt like it was buzzing. He sensed as daddy slowly went limp inside him and basically fell out of his hole and he felt like something was leaking out of him and it kinda tickled. He tried to tighten his hole so the semen wouldn't drip on the sheets, but he was literally drained off energy. Before he could whine for daddy, he sensed him sitting up behind him. “Baby? Let daddy clean you. Can you roll over, rainbow?” 

Richard groaned and slowly rolled over and wasn't on daddy's legs anymore, instead his head was hanging over the bed. He was seeing upside down and it was funny! He saw daddy walking to the bathroom and came back with a washcloth and sat between Richard's legs and very gently wiped his pee-pee. “You made daddy shoot buckets, my sexy little boy.” Daddy said with a smile in his voice and left a small kiss on Richard's pubic area which made Richard gasp in embarrassment. 

“Daddy's got a giant cuddle right here for a tiny little puppy boy. Who's it gonna be?” Daddy asked playfully. Richard squeaked. Of course he was the tiny little puppy boy. He moved and sat up. “Me, daddy.” He said happily. 

“Wait, are you sure?” Daddy asked with a small frown and closed his arms.

Richard pouted and nodded his head. 

“Hmm… no. But maybe you've seen my puppy. He's the cutest tiniest boy in the world. Do you know him?” He asked. 

Richard pouted harder. He didn't like this game! “I your puppy!” He almost shouted. 

“Only one way to find out.” He sighed dramatically and motioned for Richard to come close. Richard did, and daddy grabbed his face and kissed his mouth so softly and gently. Richard melted against him as he hummed quietly when daddy brushed his tongue against his. 

“Yup, that's how I know my tiny pup.” Daddy said after gently breaking the kiss. Richard gave him a smile and happily settled into daddy's open arms. 

“You need something on you so daddy wouldn't lose you anymore.” Daddy said while gently kissing his face. Richard gave him a questioning look. 

“How would you feel about daddy's collar around your neck? Daddy will be your key holder and everyone knows your my one and only little boy.” He said. 

Richard's eyes grew round. He'd read about this before when he first discovered he was a little. A collar was like a sign that a person was a submissive and had a dominant. Richard remembered how much it got him excited but back then he never thought one day he'd have a dom so amazing and so worth wearing a collar for. He felt heat raising up to his ears. 

“I… I… wamt Dada’s collar.” He mumbled shyly. 

Daddy's handsome face blossomed into a happy smile and he kissed Richard's lips and then littered gentle kisses on his neck. 

“We'll choose the perfect one together so that it's comfy enough for you to wear it all the time.”

Richard nodded happily and snuggled to daddy. He was so happy about being included in every aspect of the relationship. “Fankyou for including me, daddy.” 

Daddy laughed softly. “It's your pretty neck. You get to decide what you want around it.” 

“But i’s yours too.” He pouted. 

Daddy held him tight and squeezed him playfully. “That's right. All of you is mine, baby boy. Just like all of me is yours. I just want you to enjoy everything I do with you.” 

Richard kissed daddy's Adam's apple. “I do.” 

“Good. That reminds me… no sleeping before brushing your teeth.” He said and gently nudged Richard who groaned in protest. 

“Do you want bad wee-wees to eat your pretty white teeth?... Hm? No. Then get up, rainbow.” He basically hauled Richard into the bathroom and after they both had peed and brushed their teeth, they were back to bed and Richard was the middle spoon between daddy and Mr. Bear. Daddy gave him his binky before he'd start whining for it and they could finally sleep in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing long chapters. Please don't forget feedback. I really appreciate them.


	21. Chapter 21

“I should never have come shopping with you.” Paul said. 

Richard pouted. 

“You're using me as your human shopping cart!” Paul shouted with a grin. 

“Ugh, gimme that. I just wanted to get my wallet outta my backpack. Stop complaining!” Richard rolled his eyes and took the shopping bags from Paul. 

“That's better. So anyway… Nikki moves in next Monday and we're both so thrilled. I think she's packing right now. We went to ikea yesterday to get her some cartons.” Paul continued happily. He was telling Richard the cute story of how he asked Nikki to move in with him, and Richard was all “AWWW”.   
They both had classes until 2:30 that day and they went shopping for Richard's work afterwards. It was around 6 and they were getting really tired. Plus, it was super cold and dark. Richard just needed one more thing and after he got it, they went into a cafe house to sit down for a while. 

“You never told me why you left work.” Paul asked and sipped on his cappuccino. Richard had his lovely hot chocolate. 

“I didn't like it. Plus, I figured this would be a better way to make money.” Richard said and motioned towards his numerous shopping bags. He didn't want to tell Paul about that incident with Jake. 

“It's certainly more fun for you. You don't struck me as a person who likes making coffee all day. You don't even like coffee.” Paul said. 

Richard grinned. “Good point. I don't like alcohol either, and I was a bartender!” 

Paul laughed. “Good thing Mr. Big guy saved your ass from that place.” He paused and then suddenly said. “Oh… that reminds me.” He reached into his backpack. 

“Check this out. Nikki gave it to me to give to you.” Paul handed him a flyer with a rainbow design. Richard looked at it curiously. It was from an organization called transinterqueer e.V. There was a schedule about their meetings and it said that it was a friendly environment for all the queers to get to know each other and talk about their day-to-day lives. 

“They were giving out the flyers at the drama building. She got one for you in case you wanna go. Their next meeting is next Wednesday.” Paul said. This looked really interesting, but Richard was too shy to go to places like this and actually talk to people! His reluctance was probably showing on his face. 

“I know you're a giant antisocial, but seriously this could be really good.” Paul said. 

“I don't know. What am I gonna say? I can't talk in a crowd.” He said nervously. 

“You don't have to talk if you don't want to. They won't make you! I already emailed them and asked if you could go there. They said all queer people are welcome and that you can just observe if you're not comfortable with speaking. Also, it'll be in english since there are lots of international people there.” Paul explained. 

Richard was mostly excited about the idea of meeting other people like himself. He had never met another trans person in his life before, he wasn't counting that trans girl he slept with because they didn't really talk to each other. But this sounded very intriguing. “Thanks, Paulie. I'll think about it.” 

“Just go there. Don't think!” Paul told him. 

_______________

Chris was back home from work at around 7 and Richard still wasn't back from shopping. Chris sighed. He was just so used to the kid climbing all over him and shouting happily when Chris would get home. It was so weirdly quiet and disturbing without Richard's constant giggles. Chris took his jacket off and looked around. Everything in that apartment said that a kid lived here! Richard's toys and stuffies and color pencils and coloring book were still in the hallway near the door. Chris picked them up and took them into the bedroom. The kid really needed a working area. He would usually do his homework and study at the dining table in the dining area. Chris was still planning on how to prepare the spare room for him. He opened his shirt buttons while walking to the kitchen to drink some water and look for something to eat. Richard had told him that he'd have dinner with Paul. He suddenly heard the buzzer on the apartment door. He smiled. Probably Richard was done with dinner early. God, was he happy his little boy was finally here. He went and opened the door… and his smile fell. 

There was a woman around his age standing in the door frame. She was as tall as Chris. Lean and had a perfectly golden tanned skin which matched her light brown hair and honey-colored eyes. She was wearing a fur coat over a short night dress with a variety of expensive and stylish jewelry. Chris could not be less happy about seeing her! But before everything, he was shocked. 

“Melanie? What are you doing here?” 

She looked into Chris's eyes from between her long eyelashes. It was no secret to anyone that Melanie was unspeakably hot and attractive. She was a supermodel after all! 

“We need to talk.” She said. 

Chris frowned. “How did you get into the building?” 

She smirked. “Your doorman knows me, Christoph. Besides, people usually don't say no to me.” 

Chris rolled his eyes. “What do you want?” 

She quickly walked into the apartment. “What the hell, Melanie?” Chris said exasperated. 

She looked around and her eyes landed on boyrex on the sofa. “Oh yeah, I heard you were dating a child. You were always into freaky stuff, Christoph. But a child? That's a new low.” 

“He's not a child. He's legal. What the hell do you want?” He was getting really angry now. 

“I heard a lot about… the kid from our friends. I just had to ask… what's so special about it?” She asked. 

“About what?” Chris hated the way she said „the kid” and hated the fact that they had lots of mutual friends which were all at the fundraising party. 

“We were together for eight months and you didn't even want to exchange apartment keys. You know this no-one kid for, what? Two days and he already lives with you?” She asked angrily. 

Chris sighed. “I thought you moved on from us. It was four years ago! Why do you even care?” 

“I never… moved on from us. We were about to have a child together. How can you be so cold?” She said dramatically. 

Chris smirked. “About to have a child together? Melanie, that was a drunken mistake and you know it. We were never a match. We were from two different worlds. It was never gonna work.” 

She laughed hysterically. “And you think you and the eighteen year old tranny freak are a fuckin match? It's disgusting. If you like vaginas so much, why did we even break up?” 

Chris's eyes grew round in anger and he felt his blood boiling. “Watch your mouth. I'm warning you.” He said in his most dangerous and low tone and pointed a finger at her. 

She was obviously taken aback and looked a tad scared. “I understand that the kid is young and new and exciting. But you'll be done playing with this new toy of yours and you'll kick it out eventually. Then you'll know that we… you and I live in the same world.” 

“You're overstepping your boundaries here. I had so little respect for you by the time we had broken up because of all the shit you put me through before getting the abortion you fuckin knew you wanted. But now… now I got zero respect for you. You're pathetic, Melanie. You feed off hate. That's why I broke up with you. That's why I never loved you.” He spat angrily. 

She started yelling. “You told me you hated babies and you never wanted children, and now here you are fucking one… and not even a normal one at that. A money sucking freak-” 

“Get the fuck out.” Chris growled. It was taking all his self-control not to beat the hell out of that woman. “I said get out. Out of my home, out of my life. Get out before I do something I regret.” He didn't even want to touch her in order to grab her and throw her out. 

She stared at Chris with bloodshot eyes. “You'll regret it, Christoph. You'll come crawling back to me.” She said while walking towards the door. 

“Hopefully, I die before that happens.” Chris shouted and slammed the door behind her. His guts were twitching in anger and he knew he did the right thing not beating her! He fumed while walking around the apartment. He definitely wasn't happy with Melanie. She was the very stereotypical „mean girls” kind of model who wouldn't quit hating on everything around her! The Rosé wasn't pink enough, the spa massage wasn't relaxing enough, the waiter wasn't fast enough, the dress wasn't pretty enough, the nail wasn't long enough and everyone around her had something to be criticised for. Looking back, Chris couldn't even understand why he was with that Kardashian parody anyway! Wrong choices.   
He was getting his temper under control when he heard the door again! The nerve on that bitch. This time, Chris lost it and marched to the door and started yelling before even opening the door. He was never this angry. “Get the fuck out. I don't wanna see your fuckin face ag-” 

It was Richard. 

The kid groaned in fear and immediately had tears in his eyes. He had so many shopping bags in his hands and his clothes were partially wet from the rain and he was shivering from the cold, his pretty curled up nose and cheeks were tinted pink. He let go of the shopping bags and took a step back. 

“Baby… oh, no.” Chris said with regret. All his anger had melted! He held his hands out for the kid but he groaned in fear again and stuck out his bottom lip. He blinked up and Chris could hear him breathing fast and short from his nose. 

“Sweetheart, I didn't know it was you. I'm so sorry, baby boy. Someone was here earlier, I thought it was her again. Daddy's sorry, baby.” He said pleadingly. Richard hesitantly walked into Chris's arms and Chris held him tightly. “I would never yell at my tiny puppy like that. Shhh… baby, I'm sorry.”   
Richard slowly melted against him. They stood by the door like that for five minutes. “Boo-boo? Let's go inside. You're shivering. Let daddy help you with your bags.” Without a word, Richard went inside, and took his shoes off. Chris gathered the shopping bags and took them all inside and shut the door. Richard was curled like a fetus on the floor in front of the fireplace still in his wet jacket and his beanie hat and he was holding boyrex in his arms. Chris left the bags by the sofa and went to Richard. “Baby boy?” He called softly, and gently pushed Richard's beanie away to see his eyes. “Wuv me!” He mumbled in his saddest voice and curled his lip. 

Chris leaned down and kissed his cold cheek. “I love you, my sweet prince. You're daddy's everything.” 

“Was… was the lady in gold here?” He asked. 

“How do you know? Did you see her? Did she talk to you?” He asked worriedly. 

Richard shook his head. “She came out of the elevator in the lobby and looked super angry and scary and… and tall. She didn't really notice me. Who was she, daddy?” He asked innocently. 

Chris sighed. “Let's get you showered and warmed first.” 

He helped Richard up, took him to the bathroom and they took a quick shower together and after that, Chris made tea for himself and heated up some cocoa milk for Richard and poured it into his sippy cup, and they sat on the sofa with Richard snuggled to him wrapped in his favorite blankie and his binky into his mouth. Chris kissed his hair. “Do you want to show daddy what you bought?” He asked. 

Richard looked up at him with eyes full of questions. Chris sighed. “Ok.” He had to tell Richard. 

“You wanna know who she was?” 

Eager nodding. 

“She was my ex-girlfriend. The one I got pregnant.” 

Richard's eyes grew round and he let go of his binky. “Wuy’she wamt?” He mumbled. 

“She had some unresolved issues which I sincerely hope are resolved now.” Chris replied. He obviously wasn't going to tell Richard the entire conversation. 

“Dada?” Richard asked. 

“Yes, nini?” 

“Diju wuv her?” He asked innocently. 

Chris smiled and kissed his hair. “No, baby. I don't even know why we were together.” 

Richard blinked up at him, and nodded. He looked unconvinced.

Chris sighed. “Growing up with money, makes you believe that you have to be with certain type of people. I grew up in a wealthy family with wealthy friends. I always thought that I have to end up with someone like Melanie. When I became my own person and started my own business, I realized how wrong I was. Melanie was my last partner before you. I jumped from relationship to relationship my whole life and something was always missing and it was connection. All my relationships were based on finance. Paris this holiday, Milan the next, beach parties, expensive dates and designer clothes. I'm not gonna tell you that I've never been into that. I have and I still am, I just realized that I don't need to rely on that and base my relationship on it. You made me realize that I can be the happiest man alive by just sitting here holding you in my arms knowing that we love each other… and of course, knowing that I can boop your pretty nose at any time.” He joked and booped Richard's nose and he shut his eyes tightly and when he opened them, he was giggling with the tip of his tongue between his teeth. 

“See? That giggle right there… is all I need in order to be happy.” Chris said with an affectionate smile. Richard hummed shyly and crawled into his lap and kissed his neck softly. 

“Now do you wanna show daddy what you bought?” Chris asked. 

“Hmmm… in a minute, dada.” He mumbled and snuggled closer to him. 

Chris smiled. Of course, one minute of cuddling in nini-time was twenty minutes in normal time. After twenty minutes of sweet cuddling, Richard slowly moved away and started happily showing Chris his new stuff. He had gotten so many things. Fabrics, fabric markers, sewing kit, ribbons, wool yarn and so many other things. Chris was really impressed by the amount of talent and creativity in the kid. It motivated him more to prepare the room for him faster. Maybe as a Christmas gift. 

“Oh, and daddy, check this out. Paul gave this to me.” He handed a rainbow designed flyer to Chris. 

“It's a trans meeting. Paul said he already emailed them and they said all queer people are welcome there. I really wanna go… but… I dunno. There's a lotta people!” He explained. 

“I know. They could be zombies. They might eat you alive.” Chris said sarcastically. 

Richard squeaked in protest. 

“Come on, baby. I think you should go. It was nice of Paul to email them for you. Worst case scenario is that you go there and you don't like it and you get out. It says here that the next week meeting starts at five. I get off work at five. If you didn't like it, text me and I come pick you up. If you did like it, stay until the end and then I'll come pick you up.” He said. It could be really good for Richard to meet people like himself and share his experiences. Of course Chris realized that not all his experiences were appropriate for sharing with any stranger. Still… the kid needed to be closer to his own community. 

“M’kay. I'll go. But you owe me cuddles and ice cream and extra play time.” He said and pointed one cute finger at Chris. 

“You got it, baby boy. Now… how do you feel about going to bed?” Chris asked. 

“Ok, but no play, daddy. Nini tired. Nini dead. Nini fimish.” He mumbled and lay on the floor and yawned. “Nini must be carried.” He said in his bratty voice. Chris laughed and got up and went to him. 

“Nini will clean up this mess first. Come on, puppy…. No groaning. Good boys are clean boys. Up you get.” He said and made Richard sit up, and put his stuff back in their bags. They were both so tired, that by the time they had cleaned up and brushed their teeth, Chris just spooned Richard and kissed him and said goodnight to Mr. Bear and they went to sleep. 

____________

The next week was a very busy week for Richard. He had to start planning what he wanted to make and sell, he also had to work on the presentation for Chris’s program and also, he had classes and homeworks. Chris gave him his T shot on Friday, and would give him his nini pills every night just as usual. Richard had no time to visit him at his office for lunch, and he was still working every night when Chris would get home, which resulted into Chris doing most of the cooking. No matter how tired, the boy still wanted play time every night which Chris was more than happy to give him. 

That week he called his mother and said he'd visit them on Sunday to talk about something important. His mom said he must stay for lunch, but Chris apologized and said he was busy. He told Richard about paying a visit to his parents on the weekend, and the boy anxiously asked if this was about Richard. The answer of course, was yes. Chris wanted to come out to his family before Christmas dinner and tell them about Richard. Richard asked him not to tell his family that he was trans and Chris said that he wasn't going to anyway, because this was no one's business. 

On Sunday morning, Chris woke up with his absolutely worn out puppy into his arms. Chris had intensely fucked him into oblivion the night before to the point that Richard fell asleep without putting his binky back into his mouth! Chris gently pulled his arm from under Richard's head and got up and went to the bathroom. He had a cute set of four scratching marks which Richard had given him last night when he was sucking his tiny penis. He smiled and felt a tad aroused remembering that. He took a shower and after that, began shaving his face. He was in the middle of shaving when he saw Richard in the mirror standing behind him wearing nothing but his binky around his neck which reminded Chris that they still hadn't found a collar for the boy. Richard was looking at him through sleepy eyes. His blond hair was messed up all over, and his lips were swollen and he looked so peacefully and beautifully fucked. 

“I wuved your stubble, daddy.” He mumbled and pouted. 

Chris smirked. “Yeah, I could tell your pee-pee loved it too. The evidence is still stinging my shoulder.” Apparently, Richard really loved Chris's rather rough stubble against his sensitive area. 

The boy blushed and squeaked. 

“What are you gonna do while daddy's gone?” He asked. 

“Sewing, and a little bit of the presentation and a looot of cartoons.” He said.

Chris chuckled and finished shaving and began washing his face from the shaving foam. When he was finished, his baby was standing next to him with a fresh towel. Chris smiled broadly and took it from him and dried his face. Richard was looking at him with a mischievous smile and his bottom lip between his teeth. He was standing too close to Chris, and he was a good 20 centimeters shorter which Chris found extremely adorable, because it caused him not being able to kiss Chris standing up without Chris slightly leaning down. He had to ask for it. He stood on his tiptoes and wrapped his arms around Chris's neck and kissed his freshly shaved chin and jaw. Chris leaned down and connected their lips. Richard hummed into the kiss. It was so lazy and quiet and delicious and Sunday-like. Suddenly Chris found himself not wanting to leave home at all. But he had to! Richard whined. “Daddy's gotta go, rainbow. I'd love nothing more than standing here and kissing your lips all day.” He admitted. 

“M’kay, dada. I go make you somefing to eat before you go.” He said and left a tiny kiss on Chris's arm and left the bathroom. Chris smiled proudly and fixed his hair before going into the closet and wore a pair of black jeans, black cashmere sweater and picked up his leather jacket, wallet and keys and left the bedroom. Richard had made him a small veggie sandwich with cheese and had put it into a sandwich bag and it was on the table right next to Chris's thermal outdoor coffee mug. 

“Coffee and sandwich to go, daddy.” Richard said happily while he was adding fruit loops into a bowl of milk for himself. 

“Thanks, baby. And wait a second. I didn't see you pee or wash your face before you eat. Get that bum back into the bathroom. Give daddy a kiss first.” He ordered while picking up his breakfast. 

Richard pouted and marched to him and gave him a kiss. “Good boy. I love you. Be good, ok?” He said while walking towards the door. 

Richard shouted “Yes, daddy” from the bedroom. 

He drove up to Berlin’s suburbs where he had grew up and his parents were still living in. It was an old building which his dad had renovated over the years and now it looked very modern and beautiful. Chris didn't want to make a big deal out of coming out to his parents, but he thought it'd be better and more respectful to do it in person. 

He parked his car in the beautiful parking area and walked to the front door and rang the bell. The maid opened the door for him and greeted him. They exchanged some formal pleasantries as she walked with Chris into the living room. Chris saw his mom and dad walking down the stairs and went to them. 

“Christoph… oh, my God, have I missed you.” His mom said happily and tightly hugged him. 

“Missed you too, mom. How are you?” He smiled when his mom kissed his face. 

“Good, good.” She said. 

“Dad?” Chris smiled at his father and they hugged. 

“Christoph,,, we were quite surprised when you said you were gonna visit. You don't normally do that.” He said. 

Chris knew it was a form of complain. “Oh, come on, dad. You know how busy I am.” He said as they were sitting down on the couches. Loretta, the maid, came and asked what he liked to drink and Chris just asked for water and said he had breakfast on his way. 

“So what's this matter that you need to tell us in person? Is everything ok?” His dad asked. 

“Yes, yes. Everything is perfect. This is quite important so I thought I should come here to tell you guys. So… I'm bringing someone home this year for Christmas dinner.” He thought he should cut right to the chase. 

His mom's face blossomed and she practically screamed in happiness that Chris and his dad laughed. “Oh, my God. Finally! Who is she? How did you meet her? Oh, Christoph, I thought you had a happy glow about you.” 

Yup! 

Chris smiled. “Actually, mom, it's a guy.” 

His parents were still smiling, but their eyes now looked absolutely confused. “Oh… you're bringing home a friend for Christmas? Is it Till?” His dad asked. 

Chris chuckled. “No, dad. It's not Till and it's not a friend. It's my boyfriend. His name is Richard.” 

His mom raised both eyebrows. “Boyfriend… I… we had no idea that you… were….” 

“Gay?” His mom paused so much that it bored him, so he said it. 

His parents nodded. 

“Well, I'm bisexual. Right now, I'm with a guy, and I'm pretty serious about him. That's why I want my family to meet him.” He said seriously. 

He was well past the age that his parents could scold him for having a boyfriend or to “it's just a phase” him. 

“Well, son… we've never met any of your partners before. If you want us to meet this man, it means it's probably something especial.” His father said. 

“We want you happy, darling. If it's with another man, it's not important. Now tell us about him.” His mum said with a smile. 

Chris sighed in relief. “Well… he's an artist. He's very smart and talented, he's kind and generous, he's very beautiful and sweet and I'm sure you guys would love him. I know I do.” He said passionately. 

His mom had tears in her eyes. “Awww, darling, you're in love.” She got up and kissed Chris's forehead. “How did you meet him?” 

That was the inevitable part! 

“You know I'm an investor member of the Berlin Academy of art?” 

They nodded. 

“He's a student there. We met this October at the orientation day where I gave a speech.” 

His dad smiled. “Is he a doctoral student? I had no idea there were DFAs in Germany. That's quite nice.” 

Oh, boy! 

“Um… there isn't. He's a freshman art student.” He said. 

“A master's freshman… hmm… isn't that too young for you, darling? He must be what? 23, 24?” His mum asked. 

Chris was barely covering his laughter. 

“He's a bachelor freshman. He's eighteen years old.” 

Now, their smiles fell. Yup, that's about right. 

“Eighteen? Eighteen years old? Christoph, are you out of your mind?” His mom almost shouted. “He's a child! Oh, good lord. Lucas, please say something.” She basically shouted nervously at Chris's father who looked down for a moment and then looked at his mum.

“Antje, please calm down. Eighteen is the legal age of consent. Christoph has done nothing wrong.” He said calmly. 

“He's still a child. Do his parents know?” She asked. 

“He's got his own life in Berlin, mother. He's been independent since a few years ago. And I asked him to move in with me two weeks ago. We live together now.” Chris thought he should just lay it all out in the open. 

“Isn't it a bit too soon, son? How well do you know him?” His dad asked. 

Chris was getting really frustrated. 

“Enough to know that he's all I want in a partner. You'll know how perfect he is when you meet him. Unless of course… mum wouldn't want him here.” He said. 

“How do you know he's not after your money, darling?” She asked. 

“We have endless fights every time I want to spend one cent on him. Mom, I've been with enough people to know who wants me for my wealth and who doesn't. I've had numerous partners and Richard is the only one I've ever wanted my family to meet. Doesn't that tell you that I might be onto something? I love him, he loves me. Endlessly. He's all the things that I never even knew I needed in order to be truly happy. If he's not welcomed here, then this is no place for me either.” He said firmly. 

“Darling, of course he's welcomed here. Whoever is near and dear to you is welcomed here. I'm a mother. I'll always be worried about even the slightest possibility of you getting your heart broken. Bring him home for Christmas dinner. It'll be a happy addition.” She said softly. 

Chris was disarmed. “He's too sweet to be able to break anyone's heart, mum.” He said with a whole hearted smile. 

After that, he stayed for a little more, and when it was around lunch time, he excused himself and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the Kardashians!


	22. Chapter 22

December flew by quite fast. Richard went to that trans meeting and ended up loving it and had so much fun and told Chris so excitedly that he managed to find friends and showed them to Chris on Instagram. The meetings were every two weeks but the one after that would be after the holidays. He also did his presentation in Chris's office with no one else in the room and Chris loved it. It was creative, accurate, sympathetic, respectful and all and all amazing. Chris sent it to the HR and they loved it as well and they began working to making it happen for after the holidays. Richard had even designed the booklets so they could be emailed to the staff. His little business was also off to a good start. He was selling his stuff to his classmates and they introduced his work to their friends and he was making rather decent money. He was also getting orders for drawings. Chris could not possibly be more proud. Richard had been fine for the whole month of December and spent all of it with nearly no panic attacks and only one or two nightmares. He was working hard and luckily, his brain was cooperating. No depression episodes and Chris did his best to try and maintain that. Their sex life was even hotter and heavier now and they were exploring boundaries together and it couldn't be more fun. They had also found Richard the best collar and the kid loved it and as a strict rule, he was not allowed to take it off unless with permission. It was a very elegant and not so heavy silver chain which looked more or less like a necklace but with bigger loops and it had a tiny silver lock in the front which Chris had costume-made and at the back of it where no one could see, was written „daddy's little prince” and it was a surprise for Richard which he loved. Also, Chris was wearing the key to the lock around his wrist tied safely to his bracelet. Chris didn't want it to be a generic leather choker-type collar so his boy could easily wear it everywhere and still breathe with no problem. He, of course, wasn't allowed to let anyone touch his collar. It seemed like a small thing, but it boosted their dynamic even more. Richard was just so extremely submissive in bed that Chris had to be extra careful with everything, because the kid would just take everything and would even ignore his own physical limitations if Chris would allow it, which he never would. He was such a good boy that every day, Chris thought it'd be the day he was gonna be in love more than he ever would in his entire future lifetime, but apparently, there were no limits to how much he could love the kid. 

He had also hired an interior designer to prepare the other room as a working area for Richard. It was difficult to manage because Chris wanted it to be a surprise so the designing team could only work around Richard's schedule so he wouldn't even see them. The rest of the day, the door would be locked as usual. The room was finally finished two days before Christmas and Chris was planning on surprising Richard on Christmas morning. He had taken the boy Christmas shopping the night before and Richard wanted to bring all his new toys and stuffies into bed with him which Chris let him and it ended up taking all the space and Richard instantly regretted it because apparently all his stuffies were underaged and it was absolutely inappropriate to let them watch as daddy played with him. Chris agreed and they put the stuffies away. 

_________

Richard was happier and more excited about life than he could ever remember being. For the past month, he didn't have even one suicidal thought which was an absolute win for him. He was so busy and happy that everything felt so blessed! 

He'd been thinking about the perfect Christmas gift for daddy and the idea came to him three weeks ago when he had a customer in university. This guy wanted to order a drawing. He was apparently writing his own comic book and had his characters all in mind. He described them thoroughly to Richard so he could draw them. Richard loved his ideas and they got to talking and turned out there was a clay studio in the university and this guy - Alex was his name - was working there as an assistant instructor. Richard asked if he could teach him how to make a clay mug for his boyfriend. Alex said he'd be more than happy to help and he did. Richard managed to craft the perfect mug all by himself after two weeks. He painted it white and drew a rainbow Christmas tree on it and there were tiny drawings all over it which resembled their relationship. A drawing of a tiny t-shirt with a coffee stain on it, a chocolate chip cookie, boyrex, a Pikachu which supposed to resemble Japan, not Richard's safe word, and then a tiny drawing of the lock on Richard's collar. The drawings were all around the writing in a twisted and black fancy font which said “best daddy”. Richard was in love with the mug, it was so cute and pretty. Alex liked it too. Richard also made a gift box and covered it with brown wrapping paper and wrapped a red ribbon around it, and made a rainbow Christmas tree with carton, put a hole on the top and tied it to the ribbon and wrote on the box. “Merry Christmas from your nini.”   
They weren't going to have a Christmas tree, because Richard was against the idea of chopping off an innocent tree and decorating it with lights! And a fake tree just wouldn't seem right as well. Daddy's idea was that trees didn't belong inside homes! Richard couldn't be more convinced! 

On Christmas morning, he woke up with daddy softly kissing his neck and throat and his collar. He hummed smiling. He was still worn out from last night's play time. Daddy gently kissed his way up to Richard's cheeks and nose and softly pulled his binky out of his mouth to kiss his lips. “Merry Christmas, my tiny love.” He whispered against Richard's lips. Richard smiled happily and wrapped his arms around daddy's neck. He was happily in little space for the past couple weeks and he could function at the same time which was quite rare. He grinned happily and pulled away from daddy. He had hidden the gift in his side of the nightstand drawer last night. He got it out and turned to daddy. “Merry Christmas, daddy Chris.” He said with an ear to ear grin. 

Daddy's eyes grew round and his smile was so big. “Aw, baby!” He sat up and took the box from Richard and saw the small writing. “Oh, my sweet nini. Come here.” He pulled Richard up and hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. 

“Open it, daddy.” Richard said excitedly.   
Daddy opened the box and got the mug out and looked all over it and his grin grew bigger and bigger. “Oh, Reeshy. Aw, sweetie, did you draw on this yourself? I love it!” 

“I made the mug, daddy Chris. Alex taught me in the clay studio.” He said happily. 

Daddy looked at him with disbelief. “My talented boy, this is the best gift I've ever gotten. Oh man, I love it. Thank you, boo-boo.” He pulled Richard into a passionate kiss. 

He was looking at the mug again. “This is like… our timeline, baby. I'll take to my office with me after the holidays.” 

Richard was so happy daddy liked it. He didn't have the option of buying something expensive, this seemed like the best idea. “I'm so happy you like it, daddy. I wanted it to remind you of us.” He said happily. Daddy put the mug back in the box and placed it on the nightstand, got up and pulled Richard off the bed with him. “I love you, Richard. I love you so much, baby boy.” He said and they kissed again. 

“Daddy's got something for you, too.” He told Richard, and pulled away from him and went into the closet. When he came back he gave Richard a key! Then, suddenly snatched him off the floor and carried him out of the bedroom and walked to the spare room which was always locked. Daddy put him down. Richard gave him a questioning look. 

“Unlock the door, nini.” He ordered, smiling. Richard nodded, and put the key in the lock, and it clicked. He pulled down the handle and carefully opened the door. 

“Your very own workshop.” Daddy said from behind him. Richard could just stand by the door and stare with an open mouth. 

“Come on. Let's take a look, baby.” Daddy encouraged him. Richard carefully walked in. The floor was wooden parquet. The walls were the first thing he'd noticed. They were painted rainbow colors from top to bottom! Richard covered his mouth in shock. The bright colors of the walls weren't disturbing the eyes because most of the walls were covered in small compartments resembling a gigantic closet and so much space. There was a giant big wooden table in the middle of the room which had a big beautiful sewing machine on one side of it. Richard gasped and walked to it, there was a compartmentalized closet under the table with a crazy amount of different sewing utilities and fabrics and literally everything. 

There was also a giant drawing tablet on the other side of the table right next to an All-in-one computer. There were lots and lots and lots of drawing and painting utilities and stationaries in all the compartments around the room and in the drawers. 

“This… this… “ Richard was lost with all words. 

“Merry Christmas.” Daddy smiled. 

Of course, Richard was crying! He ran to daddy and wrapped four limbs around him and they held onto each other so tightly while Richard was weeping. 

“Oh, come on, boo-boo. It's a happy day. Why tears?” 

“Happy tears, daddy. I love you. And I only gave you a dumb mug!” He said and felt really bad. 

Daddy put him down and held his face in his hands. “Baby, you made that with your talented lovely little hands. You learned a skill just to make me something. And it's beautiful and more precious than any other gifts.” He said with a smile and kissed both Richard's hands. Then his face got serious. “And next time you call my little nini artist’s works “dumb”, you will be severely punished.” Richard giggled and snuggled to daddy. He was so happy he couldn't contain himself! 

The rest of the day, was warm, lazy and sweet. They watched Christmas special cartoons and drank hot cocoa and kissed and cuddled a lot. They also hung out in Richard's new workshop and Richard was happy to discover every amazing thing about that magical room. He didn't know what was the best part, the rainbow walls? The giant window facing the Spree River and the entire city? The comfy couch? The throne looking swivel chair? Or literally just all of it? There was also a small sink in the corner and a small cabinet on top with soaps and lotions in it. 

It was around 5 when daddy took him to the shower and bathed him, and helped him pick clothes for the dinner and wear them. He wore stonewashed jeans, boots and a red and white Christmas sweater with elves and reindeers on it. It wasn't childish really. It was cute and gay! And Richard loved it. Plus, it was warm and cozy and loose. 

“Daddy, am I flat?” Richard asked nervously while inspecting his chest in the mirror. 

“You're flat, baby. Don't worry. Your chest is so small you got nothing to worry about. Especially with the binder.” 

“Ok, should I wear my packer, daddy?” Richard asked. He absolutely hated wearing a packer. It was irritating on his pee-pee. He only wore it when he was working at the club. 

“Richard, baby, no one's gonna look at your crotch!” Daddy said soothingly. 

“Daddy, what if they hate me?” He was getting seriously nervous now. Daddy walked to him and held his shoulders. “Are you listening to daddy?” 

Richard curled his bottom lip down and nodded. 

“No one in their right mind would hate you. My family is quite nice, but if anyone said anything that bothered you, you'll let me know and I'll deal with it, ok?” 

Richard nodded. 

After they both got ready, and Richard was quite satisfied with his looks and daddy was looking hot as always, they got into the car. Daddy told him jokes and made him laugh the entire drive through and that put Richard into a better mood. 

They finally arrived in the Super beautiful part of Berlin which was the suburbs. Lots of old rich people who wanted peace and quiet and beautiful gardens lived there. It was snowing softly and the giant mansion looked like a holiday card. It was covered in beautiful Christmas lights. There were a couple of modern and expensive cars parked out front which clearly meant that Richard was entering the rich people territory, and of course, it was to be expected. 

Daddy - no - Chris rang the bell while Richard was holding the flowers they had gotten. The door opened and a beautiful lady appeared. “Mr. Christoph, welcome. Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas, Loretta. This is Richard. Richard, this is Loretta. The chef of all the amazing meals I grew up with.” 

“Hello, Mr. Richard. It's nice to meet you.” 

Richard felt chills all over. They had a maid! For some reason Richard felt sick to his gut. He smiled at the lady anyway. 

“Nice to meet you too, ma'am. Merry Christmas.” Richard said. 

They walked in and there was a hallway leading to a gigantic living room with six people sitting around it. Daddy wrapped his arm around Richard's shoulders. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He said happily and they all said it back with big smiles on their faces. Richard was about to melt. All the attentions were on him! 

“This is Richard, my boyfriend. Richard this is my family.” Then he began introducing everyone. “My mum, Antje.” The middle aged lady wearing a fancy dress down to her calves which had golden color embroidery on it and a long gold chain, her hair was balled behind her head and it was a shining light brown color. 

“My father, Lucas.” A man with a kind face wearing glasses and a grey sweater. 

“My younger brother Josh and his fiance Stef.” They were the younger couple looking happily at Richard. Stef was a very pretty girl with a dark skin and Josh, in fact, had some resemblance to Chris. 

“My older sister Connie and her husband Peter… aaaand, where's Amy?” He asked and laughed. 

“In the kitchen going over the candy probably. Hi, Richard. It's so nice to meet you.” Connie greeted Richard. 

“Than-thank you. It's nice to meet you too.” This was suffocating! Richard turned to Chris's parents. “And… thank you for having me. These… these are for you.” Richard said and felt like his throat was painfully dry. He took one awkward step towards the mother. 

“You're even younger than I'd imagined.” She commented. “Loretta, find a vase for the flowers.” She said and walked out of the living room. Richard was two seconds away from breaking down when Chris's dad walked to him and smiled. “Don't mind my wife. She'll come around. So you're Richard. I've heard quite nice things about you.” 

Richard handed the flowers to Loretta and saw from the corner of his eye that daddy was speaking angrily to his sister. “Thank you, sir.” He replied in a small voice. 

They exchanged a couple more awkward pleasantries when Loretta came and invited everyone to the dining room. Chris was nowhere to be seen and when they went to the dining room, there he was with his mother sitting at the table. He gave Richard a warm smile and motioned towards the seat next to him. Dinner was roasted ribs and veggies along with traditional sausages and different cheese and bread. There was another addition to the table and it was a five-year-old pretty little girl wearing a pink dress and pigtails. She was probably Amy. Richard caught the kid staring at him from across the table and gave her a smile. She smiled back and yelled. “I love your shirt.” 

Richard smiled broadly. “I love your pigtails.” 

“I'm Amy.” 

“I'm Richard.” 

They grinned at each other. 

This was probably the easiest encounter of the night so far! Everyone began putting food in their plates when Chris's mum invited them to. 

Daddy leaned in and asked him quietly. “Baby, what would you like to eat?” 

Richard was a bit too nervous so without looking up, he just mumbled. “Whatever.” 

Daddy sighed and picked up Richard's plate and placed some veggies and cheese and Sauerkraut and a sausage into the plate. At least he knew exactly what Richard liked! Chris's father poured wine into all their glasses and stood up above the table until everyone looked up at him and went silent. “My dear family, I am so happy to be alive for another new year with my beloved wife and children and my sweet sweet Amy. I'm glad all my children have found love and I drink to their health and happiness. Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas.” Everyone said with raised glasses. 

They were all smiling and suddenly Richard felt daddy's hand under the table reaching for his. Then he brought it up to his lips and kissed it. “Merry Christmas, my love.” 

Richard felt his face on fire. Because everyone was watching them now. Richard couldn't stop his shy smile. “Merry Christmas.” He whispered. 

“Awww, Richard, you're just adorable.” Stef said, and Josh laughed in approval. 

“You are. It's so nice to see Chris happy.” Connie smiled. 

“So, Richard. What do you do?” Josh asked him. 

Richard swallowed his food without chewing and wiped his mouth before speaking. “I'm a freshman in Berlin Academy of art. I study fine arts.” 

“I did my masters there! I studied design. How do you like the campus?” Stef asked excitedly. 

“I love it. The buildings maintained their traditional beauty but they're so modern and up-to-date inside.” He replied. 

“Ah, finally a millennial who appreciates original and aged architecture.” Connie said. 

“What do you expect? He chose Chris. What's more aged than him?” Josh joked and they all laughed. Richard giggled and looked at daddy who was looking back at his brother with narrowed eyes, but then laughed and shook his head. 

“Do you do any jobs on the side?” Connie asked. 

Richard sipped on his water. “Yes, I'm a freelance artist. I sell my drawings, my craft, I make clothes and all sorts of DIY stuff. I also make music, but I don't make money off it yet. Currently, I'm drawing a comic book for someone.” 

“Wow, that's really impressive. What instruments do you play?” Josh asked. 

Richard smiled happily. “Electric guitar, piano, a little bit drums.” 

“You should hear him play hallelujah. It's beautiful.” Daddy said with a proud grin. 

“I would love to hear that. How did you learn so many things? When I was eighteen, my only skill was spending money!” Josh chuckled. 

“I can vouch for that.” His father said and everyone laughed. 

“Well, I've always loved art. I learned the basics of music in school and the rest was self-taught, drawing too. And my mama taught me sewing.” 

“Oh, what does your mother do?” Stef asked, interested. 

Richard hesitated for a second. “She… um… she passed away when I was fifteen.” 

Richard saw Chris's mum finally looking at him with a strange look. “So you lived with your father alone? What about siblings?” She asked. It was the first time she was talking during that dinner. 

Richard felt his guts clenching again. “They divorced when I was four. We don't talk. I have an older sister who moved to Canada when I was twelve. She has her own family now.” He explained shortly. 

“Then who did you live with after your mother?” She asked, and for some reason looked worried now! 

“With Oma, then I moved to Berlin this October.” 

“Oh, you're not from Berlin?” Peter asked. 

“No, I'm from Wittenberge.” He replied. 

"Never been there"

“Ok, tell us how you two met.” Connie asked excitedly.

Richard blushed. “He was at my orientation day to give a speech, then he spilled hot coffee on me. Two weeks later, he asked me out.” He explained with a ridiculous grin. 

Everyone laughed. “What? How?” Josh asked. 

Daddy replied. “I had to buy him a new t-shirt, so I did, and asked him to let me take him out to dinner to make up for spilling coffee on him.”

“You doooog.” Josh shouted happily. 

“JOSHUA! Language!” His mother warned. 

“Oops, sorry, mum… . You four-legged non-human.” He whispered to Chris and the whole table burst out laughing. 

“Uncle Josh? Is uncle Chris a dog?” Amy asked while giggling. 

“No, honey, he's not. Uncle Josh is joking.” Connie said and rolled her eyes at his brother. 

“If he was a dog, Richard would be one too because they're together. But oma said Richard is uncle Chris's boy toy and he would get tired of Richard faster than I get tired of my barbie. But I love my new barbie, mummy.” She told Connie. 

Richard heard his heart stop beating! The whole table went dead silent. Richard got up before he knew it. He was shaking all over. He tried to push his chair back violently and then without a word, left the table and walked fast to the living room and then the door and then he was out in the snow. How much more of Chris's family and friends could he possibly handle? His tears were freezing on his face. 

He heard the door behind him and didn't turn around. He felt his jacket around him. “Baby?” He pushed Chris away. 

“Are you gonna get tired of me?” He asked Chris, sobbing. 

“What? No! No. I'm not. Richard, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you had to hear that. My-”

“What if you did?” Richard asked. 

“What if I did what?” 

“What if you grew tired of me? Where does that leave me? What if your mama is right? What if you decide everyone around you is right and then you spit me out?” He shouted. 

Chris walked to him and firmly held his shoulders and looked into his eyes. “If the entire world tells me you're wrong for me, I don't care. Because I know you're right for me. I know you're everything I want. Baby, I'll always need you. I don't care what anyone says. Richard, you can't doubt my love for you. You just can't.” He said more serious than Richard had ever seen him. 

Richard stared up at him for a moment and then turned his head to kiss the inside of Chris's wrist where the key to his lock was, and then he was pulled into daddy's arms. “I don't doubt you, daddy.” He whispered. Why would he doubt this man? He cursed himself for his stupid temper again. Daddy squeezed him tightly. 

They heard the door again and they parted. It was Chris's mum. Richard looked down. 

“I love nothing more than my children… and when they fall in love, even if I don't approve at first, I need to learn to love their loves. I am sorry I said such horrible thing before getting to know you. You seem like an independent and strong young man, and I have never seen my Christoph so happy and in love. Let's give each other another chance. What do you say, Richard?” She said. 

Richard looked up at her. Then slightly nodded. 

“Now come back inside. It's freezing out here.” She said with a smile and held the door open. When they walked back in, Amy was standing there with her Barbie doll in her arms. 

Richard smiled at her. 

“Mummy said I broke your heart.” She said with regretful eyes. 

Richard went to her and crouched down to level with her eyes. “You didn't. I'm ok, Amy.” 

“But mummy and Steffie said so. I want to apology.” She said stubbornly. 

Richard grinned. “Ok.” 

“I only have girly toys, I just have one toy car. It's for you if you forgive my apology.” She said and held out her hand and there was a miniature red toy car on her little palm. 

Richard gave her a big smile and took the car from her. “I forgive your apology, Amy. Fankyou… I mean thank you. I love miniature toy cars.” He said happily and tried his best to stop himself from slipping in little space! Amy smiled so big that it narrowed her eyes. She was cute! 

“I like you. You're pretty.” She said giggling and covered her face and ran away to her mum who was watching everything with a smile. 

Richard looked up happily at daddy and shook the toy and stuck his tongue out which made daddy chuckle. 

Chris's family was actually really nice and fun. Especially Josh and Stef. Connie had a mother-type kindness to her attitude which reminded Richard so much of mama. Richard couldn't remember the last time he felt so at ease with a bunch of strangers. Probably never? But they made him feel a part of the family. They played board games and drank Glühwein. 

Connie and Peter were the first ones to leave because Amy was tired and cranky, just like Richard! He was socially and emotionally drained and thankfully, daddy saw it and announced that they were leaving too. Everyone hugged him and told him that it was nice to meet him and they hoped to see him again. Chris's parents were going on vacation the next day, so they needed to rest as well. So Josh and Stef decided to leave too. 

When they were outside saying goodbye, Josh smacked Chris on the shoulder. “Bro? I don't think I need to give you that special Christmas gift anymore. The danger has passed.” He said jokingly and everyone laughed. Richard giggled cuz he knew what they were talking about, but was also a little bit triggered, because without the nini pills, he could, in fact, get pregnant! 

“I guess I owe Richard for putting an end to your dumb gift ideas.” Chris laughed as he hugged his brother. 

“You owe Richard for putting an end to your sad single life!” Connie said, and made everyone laugh. 

Daddy hugged Richard to his side and kissed his temple. “You're right. I do owe him for that.” 

Richard's skin was already flushed from the cold, so the only change in his face, was his giant grin and then he suddenly sneezed into daddy's jacket. Thankfully, it was a dry sneeze. 

“Ok, that's our cue. Let's go, baby.” Daddy said and held Richard tighter to himself. “Night, everyone. Happy holidays.” He shouted while they walked away and everyone shouted back and waved their hands. 

“Awww, he was so cute!” Richard heard Stef from afar and grinned up at daddy. Daddy chuckled and opened the passenger door for him. “Get in, Prince Cutie.” inside the car was freezing! Daddy turned on the seat warmers and the heaters the second he got in and waited until it got warmer. 

“You good, puppy?” 

“Yahuh.” 

“Ok, good. Let's buckle you in and go home.” He fastened Richard's seat belt for him and kissed him and drove off. It was so warm and cozy and quiet that Richard just drifted off to sleep and next thing he knew, was being gently kissed on his face. “We're one elevator ride away from home, boo-boo. Come on.” 

Richard sleepily got out of the car and leaned against daddy the whole elevator ride. When they were finally back home, Richard suddenly remembered his workshop and sobered up! He ran to the room and just watched around it. Daddy was smiling at him from the door frame. “I'm gonna live in here!” He shouted happily. 

“Yeah, no! What about daddy?” Daddy protested. 

“Daddy can come work in here too! There's space for both of us.” He said and reached into his pocket and fished out the red toy car and put it one of the wall compartments. 

“That's an option too. Now let's go to bed. I don't like all those clothes on you.” He said and grabbed Richard and took him to their bedroom. When they were finally naked in bed, daddy started softly kissing him. They just made out for a few heavenly minutes and it felt like meditation! Richard loved it when daddy would kiss him. 

“You taste like Glühwein.” Daddy murmured when they parted. 

Richard grinned. “You too, dada.” Then his smile wore off. “I'm sorry I doubted you.” He said and looked away, ashamed. 

“I'm sorry about my mother. She can be kind of a diva sometimes…. Will you forgive my apology?” He asked mimicking Amy and pressed his nose against Richard's cheek.

Richard giggled loudly. “Little daddy.” 

“Oh, daddy's not little. You know that.” He said in a devilish tone. 

“Big daddy? That's your rapper's name.” Richard giggled again and this time, daddy laughed too. 

“What, and yours is lil nini?” 

“Yeaaah, let's start a band, daddy.” Richard shouted happily. 

“And call it „the cuddle”?” Daddy raised both eyebrows at him. 

Richard gasped. “How do you know that?” 

“Julia told me.” Daddy grinned. 

“Actually, that's what I was doing last Christmas.” Richard smiled pensively remembering that, and sighed. 

Daddy gently brushed away his hair and kissed his face. “What did you do on new year's eve?” 

Richard gaped. “I… I was wif mama. I wanted to spend all night wif her, but it was cold and snowy and dark. I could only stay wif her for half hour.” 

“You spent new year's eve at a cemetery?” Daddy asked and had a strange look in his eyes which Richard didn't like. 

“Don't pity me.” He said seriously, then looked away and sniffled. 

Daddy took his chin, turned his head and looked into his eyes. “I don't pity you, sweetheart. I just wish I was there to hold you and keep you warm.” He whispered. 

“Well…” Richard smiled devilishly. “That would be illegal, daddy. I was seventeen last year.” 

Chris snorted and playfully bit Richard's shoulder. “You're right.” He said and kissed the chain of Richard's collar. “But not this year. This year you're all mine.” He said and draped on top of Richard, took his arms and pinned them above his head. 

“And you're under arrest… for being way too pretty. That's illegal.” He said and Richard giggled at that. “Ah, you think I'm kidding?” He said and shortly moved off Richard to open the nightstand drawer. He got the lube and a pair of leather handcuffs. He hooked the chain through the loop above the bed and cuffed Richard's wrists. Richard was still giggling. “You'll stop giggling in a second.” He said and almost harshly held Richard's hips and turned his midsection on his side and spanked him hard. Richard wiggled and giggled loudly.

“Tell you what, little boy. If between your legs is as pretty as your face, you'll face even more charges.” He said and turned a giggling Richard on his back. Richard playfully closed his legs and pulled them up to his stomach.

“Are you closing your legs to daddy?” 

“Uhuh.” Richard giggled. 

Daddy raised his eyebrows in a way that tingled Richard's entire body! He slowly parted his legs, but daddy was having none of it. He forcefully opened Richard's legs like a book. “Now that's better. Wait for your trial.” Daddy said and Richard giggled again. He slowly went down on Richard and Richard lifted his head to look. Daddy's face was inches away from his boy parts and then… daddy smelled him and slowly breathed him in and suddenly licked Richard from his hole up to his penis and it turned Richard's giggle into a whiney moan. Daddy looked up from between Richard's legs. “Hmm… with a hole this tasty… you're in so much trouble, little boy.” Richard was so turned on by daddy's voice that he found it difficult to focus on what he wanted to say. 

“Dada?” Richard blinked up at him. 

Daddy looked up with a raised eyebrow.

“I… I-” 

“What is it, puppy? You don't wanna play?” Daddy asked, and came back up. 

“No, no. I do. I wamt you to do wat you wamt.” He mumbled shyly. 

“What do you think I want, rainbow?” He asked, smiling. 

Richard could remember when he asked what part of gay sex he loved most, and daddy had told him. 

“You said… You liked bum-bum play.” There was no way Richard could actually say the word “anal„. 

Daddy laughed and kissed him on the forehead. “My considerate rainbow. I also told you that I don't want to step over your physical boundaries.” 

“But you like it, and I can! I'm not weak, and I'll like it. I know I will.” He insisted. He felt like their entire sex life was based on his pleasure, even though daddy told him almost every day how good Richard could make him feel. But Richard always wanted to please him more. 

“I know you're not weak, baby. And you probably will like it. But it's not so easy. We gotta get you ready first, we-”

“Daddy, it's not torturing! I know I don't have a boo-boo in my bum-bum, but I read that trans boys can like it.” He said and curled down his bottom lip. He really would like to have a prostate. 

“Wait, I call you boo-boo. what do you think boo-boo means?” Daddy asked with a comical frown. Richard blushed. 

“I’ount know. Somefing that make you feel good?” 

Daddy laughed. “Makes sense. You do make me feel good. And it's not about lack of boo-boo in your excellent little bum. It's just that it takes a lot of preparation. We should clean you out and go very very easy and slow. It's not like I can just shove my cock up you, so not tonight.” Daddy said firmly. 

“But tomorrow?” Richard asked stubbornly. 

“Reeshy? Baby? You're already cuffed to the bed about to be fucked, and you're planning tomorrow's play time? Where do you fit all this kinkiness and horniness? You're too tiny for all of it!” Daddy asked, jokingly confused. 

Richard blushed, squeaked and shut his eyes in embarrassment because he couldn't cover his face. He felt daddy gently kissing his cheek. “Let's get back to the task at hand, shall we? I believe you were on trial for being too pretty.” Daddy whispered to him. 

“I wamt my lawyer.” Richard giggled. 

Daddy chuckled. “Who's your lawyer?” He asked as he started going down again. 

“Hmm...I’s dada.” He hummed. Daddy kissed his pubic area as he traced kisses down to his labia. Richard moaned and opened his legs further. 

“That's right, baby. Daddy always defends you… but not right now.” He smirked and kissed Richard's inner thighs. 

Richard heard the bottle of lube being uncapped and a few seconds later felt a small slicked finger gently touching his bum hole. He gasped and looked down. “Shhh,,, baby. It's just my pinky. Let's see how you do. Just relax.” He said then suddenly got up and got a pillow and put it under Richard's back to raise his bum. This position actually was comfier. 

“Comfy?” Daddy asked softly. Richard nodded. 

Daddy gently touched his hole with more lube and it felt amazing. “That's such a cute little hole.” Daddy commented with a smile. He licked Richard's front hole for a while and kept playing with his bum hole without penetration. All this teasing was driving Richard crazy. He whimpered and pushed his hips up in need. Daddy nuzzled his stomach and gently shushed him. Richard quietly whined when he felt the pressure around his bum hole increased. 

“Nini? If you don't relax, I can't play with you. Relax and let your pretty holes stay open for daddy.” He whispered soothingly from between Richard's legs. 

Richard tried to relax and partially succeeded because daddy told him he was being a good boy now. Daddy was casually playing with Richard's penis and it helped relax him a lot. He felt more lube around his bum hole and daddy slowly pushed his pinky inside him. Richard hissed and moaned. It was barely half a finger but it still felt so good! Richard really didn't expect it to feel so amazing. 

“Does it hurt, nini?” 

“N-no, Dada. I’s good.” 

“You're being very good, puppy. Daddy's proud.” Daddy praised him with a hoarse voice. Daddy pulled his finger out, lubed it and pushed it in again very slowly. He kept half of his pinky inside and just softly rotated it. It felt so good! It was creating an impact in his front hole and it made him very needy. His body was begging for more stimulation and daddy provided. He started licking and sucking his penis all while doing small movements inside his bum hole. It was out of this world and Richard cried out in pleasure when daddy pushed the rest of his pinky into him. He was now sucking Richard's penis into his mouth and occasionally licking around it. Richard was on edge. He squeezed his entire body. Time and space meant nothing anymore. He could hear only his own moans and wails of pleasure and feel the heaven inside him. With his last bit of concentration, he tried to let daddy know that he was about to come because he was required to do so. He came hard and it felt like his entire body was a vibrator because he was shaking all over. He felt like he orgasmed out of his skin. It was impossible to feel that good. The highest of the high took a long time and Richard was pushed over when it finished. He struggled to catch his breath. Before he knew it, daddy was on top him softly kissing his face and temples. Richard pulled on his cuffs and turned his head to get daddy to kiss his mouth which he did and Richard could taste himself. Daddy's kisses would always shut his brain down! It was raw pleasure the way daddy claimed his mouth. Richard felt movements between them and daddy grabbed his cock and slowly pushed it inside his front hole as they were still kissing. Richard groaned into the kiss and relaxed when daddy just stayed inside him without moving. Daddy looked down at him. “I love you, little boy.” He murmured. Richard felt a hot feeling pouring down all over him as daddy leaned back in to kiss him again and started moving slowly. Richard wrapped his legs around daddy's waist and loved how daddy grabbed his hip and slammed into him very deep. He kept on a steady rhythm and kept whispering soothing words into Richard's ears. Richard didn't know whether sex, in general, was so therapeutic and calming, or it was only this way because it was sex with daddy. Whichever it was, daddy knew how to take all the bad things away. Daddy pounded him until he came one more time, then daddy slowly pulled out of him. Richard whined in protest. “Daddy wants to see cummies in your pretty mouth.” He said in Richard's ear and his voice alone was enough to give Richard orgasms. He got up onto his knees and straddled Richard's chest and held onto the headboard with one hand and grabbed his slicked cock with the other. Richard looked up with round eyes. 

“Open your mouth, puppy.” Richard obeyed and daddy slowly entered his mouth while giving the base of his cock small jerking motions. Richard closed his lips and tried to suck around daddy as best as he could in that position. Daddy hissed and groaned and Richard felt his precum and hummed happily and opened his eyes when daddy pulled his cock out. Richard opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out and blinked mischievously up at daddy. Daddy jerked his cock a little more, until the first stripe of semen sprouted onto Richard's lips. Richard hummed and smiled with his mouth open as the rest splashed into his mouth. Daddy was staring down at him like a lion looking at his prey with triumph. At this point, Richard was happy to be the prey. He closed his mouth and swallowed all of it. It didn't particularly taste good or bad. It just felt too good to do that. Daddy's face was on top of his now. He licked his own cum off Richard's lips and chin and kissed him passionately. 

“Yummy yummy dada’s cummie.” Richard mused and giggled when they parted. He was about to pass out but he still was in a good mood. Daddy laughed softly and it sounded tired and throaty. He uncuffed Richard from the bed and dropped the handcuffs on the floor and then got up and went to the bathroom probably to wash up as always, and came back with a wet washcloth and cleaned between Richard's legs off the sticky lube, then, took Richard's binky from the nightstand and put it around his neck and made him drink some water. Finally, daddy lay next to him and they cuddled with Richard's head on daddy's chest while daddy massaged Richard's wrists. 

"Nini?"

"Hm?"

"Was daddy's pinky the first thing going into your bum?" Daddy asked while playing with his hair.

Richard nodded shyly.

“I fink I might have boo-boo in my bum-bum.” 

Daddy laughed and kissed his hair. “You also have a long way until daddy can get in there without splitting you in half. So… you're not gonna pout when we take it slow.” 

“But-” 

“No buts, puppy. You said you want me to do what I want, didn't you? Hm?” He made Richard look up. Richard nodded. “Then we'll do it my way.” 

“M’kay. I just wamt dada to feel good. Wike Reeshy.” He mumbled and kissed Chris's chest. 

“I feel amazing, baby. Thanks to your precious existence.” Daddy said and kissed Richard's hand. 

Richard hummed happily and snuggled closer to daddy and kissed daddy's fingers resting on his toned tummy. “Night night, best daddy in the world.” Richard said before wrapping his lips around his binky. 

“Good night, my tiny prince.”


End file.
